--- title: "Meaning & Key Takeaway of: I will say, in open adoption, all these…" description: "\"I will say, in open adoption, all these choices you make about race, about the amount of mental illness you can deal with, about special needs and phys..." image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/197/jennifer-gilmore-20736_adoption_i-will-say-in-open-adoption-all-these-ch_1594381.jpg" --- # I will say, in open adoption, all these choices you make… ![“I will say, in open adoption, all these choices you make about race, about the amount of mental illness you can deal with, about special needs and physical maladies, you have to lay all this out there before you know anybody's story.” quote by Jennifer Gilmore](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/197/jennifer-gilmore-20736_adoption_i-will-say-in-open-adoption-all-these-ch_1594381.jpg) [Download](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/197/jennifer-gilmore-20736_adoption_i-will-say-in-open-adoption-all-these-ch_1594381.jpg) [Open image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/197/jennifer-gilmore-20736_adoption_i-will-say-in-open-adoption-all-these-ch_1594381.jpg) > “I will say, in open adoption, all these choices you make about race, about the amount of mental illness you can deal with, about special needs and physical maladies, you have to lay all this out there before you know anybody's story.” [Jennifer Gilmore](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jennifer-gilmore/) ## About This Quote This interpretation was drafted with AI assistance. It is one reading of the quote, not the author's own explanation. Open adoption requires transparent discussion of race, mental health, and special needs before forming relationships. **In simple terms:** Full disclosure of challenges is vital in open adoption. Key Takeaway Share all relevant concerns early. Themes adoption transparency family dynamics Mood thoughtful cautious Type advisory reflective When to use this quote - adoption counseling - parenting - social services - mental health awareness Key Concepts ethics social inclusion Questions to Reflect On - What information is essential to share first? - How can families navigate sensitive topics compassionately? A Different Perspective Too much focus on potential issues may deter families. ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ No ratings yet [Adoption](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/adoption/) [Choices](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/choices/) [Illness](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/illness/) [Mental illness](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/mental-illness/) [Open adoption](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/open-adoption/) [Race](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/race/) [Racism](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/racism/) [Special needs](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/special-needs/) [Stories](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/stories/) ## Related quotes > [The process of open adoption is not discussed in the way it should be. Everyone I know who has adopted domestically has at least…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jennifer-gilmore/the-process-of-open-adoption-is-not-discussed-in-the-way-it-should-be/) [Jennifer Gilmore](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jennifer-gilmore/) > [I want to say that, in general, when it works, open adoption is great.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jennifer-gilmore/i-want-to-say-that-in-general-when-it-works-open-adoption-is-great/) [Jennifer Gilmore](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jennifer-gilmore/) > [Somehow destiny comes into play. These children end up with you and you end up with them. It's something quite magical.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nicole-kidman/somehow-destiny-comes-into-play-these-children-end-up-with-you-and/) [Nicole Kidman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nicole-kidman/) > [Time and experience have taught me a priceless lesson: Any child you take for your own becomes your own if you give of yourself…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dale-evans/time-and-experience-have-taught-me-a-priceless-lesson-any-child-you/) [Dale Evans](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dale-evans/) > [“Adoption is a beautiful, burdensome blessing.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jody-cantrell-dyer/adoption-is-a-beautiful-burdensome-blessing/) [Jody Cantrell Dyer](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jody-cantrell-dyer/) > [Open adoption, when it works, is fabulous. But when it goes wrong, it's so traumatizing for everybody.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/caroline-leavitt/open-adoption-when-it-works-is-fabulous-but-when-it-goes-wrong-it-s/) [Caroline Leavitt](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/caroline-leavitt/) > [In an open adoption agreement, you agree to a minimum number of visits - a floor, not a ceiling. It's enforceable.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dan-savage/in-an-open-adoption-agreement-you-agree-to-a-minimum-number-of-visits/) [Dan Savage](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dan-savage/) > [By choice, we have become a family, first in our hearts, and finally in breath and being. Great expectations are good; great experiences are…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/richard-w-fisher/by-choice-we-have-become-a-family-first-in-our-hearts-and-finally-in/) Richard W. Fisher > [I finally had my beautiful baby girl. Her name is Michelle Lee. Ugh she's so perfect but unfortunately we're giving up for adoption. Well…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lexi/i-finally-had-my-beautiful-baby-girl-her-name-is-michelle-lee-ugh-she/) [Lexi](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lexi/) > [I've never been keen on open adoption. It doesn't seem to solve the main problem with adoption, which is that somebody feels she was…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/joan-didion/i-ve-never-been-keen-on-open-adoption-it-doesn-t-seem-to-solve-the/) [Joan Didion](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/joan-didion/) > [I found real fulfillment through my children and through adopting special needs kids.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mia-farrow/i-found-real-fulfillment-through-my-children-and-through-adopting/) [Mia Farrow](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mia-farrow/) > [“Destiny is not always preordained. Life is about making choices. Our lives are the sum of all the choices we make, the bridges we…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/judith-land/destiny-is-not-always-preordained-life-is-about-making-choices-our/) [Judith Land](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/judith-land/) > [Losing the future is the best thing that ever happened to me.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/marilyn-french/losing-the-future-is-the-best-thing-that-ever-happened-to-me/) [Marilyn French](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/marilyn-french/) > [“The more faithful I was to Him, the more faithful He was to me.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/becky-graham/the-more-faithful-i-was-to-him-the-more-faithful-he-was-to-me/) Becky Graham > [“No one 'just adopts'.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jody-cantrell-dyer/no-one-just-adopts/) [Jody Cantrell Dyer](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jody-cantrell-dyer/) ## More by Jennifer Gilmore > [Idea of the generations continuing is really important. And that's interesting to me. I write about families; I'm interested in families. Even though I…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jennifer-gilmore/idea-of-the-generations-continuing-is-really-important-and-that-s/) [Jennifer Gilmore](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jennifer-gilmore/) > [People might seem to have a perfectly fine life but inside, we don't even know if they've suffered.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jennifer-gilmore/people-might-seem-to-have-a-perfectly-fine-life-but-inside-we-don-t/) [Jennifer Gilmore](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jennifer-gilmore/) > [I feel like if writers used writing as therapy we'd have a ton of happy writers.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jennifer-gilmore/i-feel-like-if-writers-used-writing-as-therapy-we-d-have-a-ton-of/) [Jennifer Gilmore](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jennifer-gilmore/) > [While I am very much Jewish 'identified,' I'm not a very religious person.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jennifer-gilmore/while-i-am-very-much-jewish-identified-i-m-not-a-very-religious-person/) [Jennifer Gilmore](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jennifer-gilmore/) > [I want to say that, in general, when it works, open adoption is great.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jennifer-gilmore/i-want-to-say-that-in-general-when-it-works-open-adoption-is-great/) [Jennifer Gilmore](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jennifer-gilmore/) > [Publishing in a way doesn't have a lot to do with writing, and writing doesn't have a lot to do with publishing.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jennifer-gilmore/publishing-in-a-way-doesn-t-have-a-lot-to-do-with-writing-and-writing/) [Jennifer Gilmore](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jennifer-gilmore/) > [I think we think that parenthood is confined to the country of mothers, but I think a lot of the men I've spoken to…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jennifer-gilmore/i-think-we-think-that-parenthood-is-confined-to-the-country-of/) [Jennifer Gilmore](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jennifer-gilmore/) > [I really don't feel that writing is therapy.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jennifer-gilmore/i-really-don-t-feel-that-writing-is-therapy/) [Jennifer Gilmore](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jennifer-gilmore/) > [My first two novels were set in the past, and that freed me up in a lot of ways; it allowed me to find…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jennifer-gilmore/my-first-two-novels-were-set-in-the-past-and-that-freed-me-up-in-a/) [Jennifer Gilmore](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jennifer-gilmore/) > [It would be a lie to say that people are coming to adoption with joy at all times. Hope, perhaps, but it would be…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jennifer-gilmore/it-would-be-a-lie-to-say-that-people-are-coming-to-adoption-with-joy/) [Jennifer Gilmore](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jennifer-gilmore/) > [The birth mother is placing the baby out of love. I still believe that. Well, the ones weve dealt with who were actually pregnant,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jennifer-gilmore/the-birth-mother-is-placing-the-baby-out-of-love-i-still-believe-that/) [Jennifer Gilmore](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jennifer-gilmore/) > [What is it about the blank page that makes me want to hurl myself into a game of solitaire? I ask myself these kinds…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jennifer-gilmore/what-is-it-about-the-blank-page-that-makes-me-want-to-hurl-myself/) [Jennifer Gilmore](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jennifer-gilmore/) > [With domestic adoption, you get a form, you fill it out, and there are these boxes: African-American, African-American and Hispanic, and you check the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jennifer-gilmore/with-domestic-adoption-you-get-a-form-you-fill-it-out-and-there-are/) [Jennifer Gilmore](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jennifer-gilmore/) > [The birth mother is placing the baby out of love. I still believe that. Well, the ones we've dealt with who were actually pregnant,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jennifer-gilmore/the-birth-mother-is-placing-the-baby-out-of-love-i-still-believe-that-2/) [Jennifer Gilmore](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jennifer-gilmore/) > [The process of open adoption is not discussed in the way it should be. Everyone I know who has adopted domestically has at least…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jennifer-gilmore/the-process-of-open-adoption-is-not-discussed-in-the-way-it-should-be/) [Jennifer Gilmore](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jennifer-gilmore/) [Explore all 30 Jennifer Gilmore quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jennifer-gilmore/) ## More Adoption quotes > [The purpose of this book is to supply, in the form suitable for laymen, guidance in the adoption and execution of an investment policy.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/benjamin-graham/the-purpose-of-this-book-is-to-supply-in-the-form-suitable-for-laymen/) [Benjamin Graham](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/benjamin-graham/) > [ Next came the Patent laws. These began in England in 1624; and, in this country, with the adoption of our constitution. Before then \[these?\],… ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/abraham-lincoln/next-came-the-patent-laws-these-began-in-england-in-1624-and-in-this/) [Abraham Lincoln](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/abraham-lincoln/) > [I think adoption becomes complicated whenever the biological parents are alive.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/james-haven/i-think-adoption-becomes-complicated-whenever-the-biological-parents/) [James Haven](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/james-haven/) > [Somehow destiny comes into play. These children end up with you and you end up with them. It's something quite magical.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nicole-kidman/somehow-destiny-comes-into-play-these-children-end-up-with-you-and/) [Nicole Kidman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nicole-kidman/) > [I have a lot of respect for my birth mother I know she must have had a lot of love for me to want…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/faith-hill/i-have-a-lot-of-respect-for-my-birth-mother-i-know-she-must-have-had/) [Faith Hill](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/faith-hill/) > [Despite the reams of paperwork, obstacles worthy of a horse show, and a wait that can rival an elephant's gestation, adoption feels no different…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/scott-simon/despite-the-reams-of-paperwork-obstacles-worthy-of-a-horse-show-and-a/) [Scott Simon](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/scott-simon/) > [“Some adventures should never be repeated.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mike-l-hopper/some-adventures-should-never-be-repeated/) Mike L. Hopper > [Some women just skip having babies or adopt because they don't want to get fat or they haven't put in the time to find…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jaime-pressly/some-women-just-skip-having-babies-or-adopt-because-they-don-t-want/) [Jaime Pressly](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jaime-pressly/) > [“I love Russia because Russia gave me you.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-m-simmons/i-love-russia-because-russia-gave-me-you/) John M. Simmons > [I've never been keen on open adoption. It doesn't seem to solve the main problem with adoption, which is that somebody feels she was…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/joan-didion/i-ve-never-been-keen-on-open-adoption-it-doesn-t-seem-to-solve-the/) [Joan Didion](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/joan-didion/) > [“Yes, I see why we endured infertility and a lengthy adoption process now, but I don’t know all the reasons for all the struggles…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ashley-wells/yes-i-see-why-we-endured-infertility-and-a-lengthy-adoption-process/) Ashley Wells > [As we grew to love South Australia, we felt that we were in an expanding society, still feeling the bond to the motherland, but…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/catherine-helen-spence/as-we-grew-to-love-south-australia-we-felt-that-we-were-in-an/) [Catherine Helen Spence](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/catherine-helen-spence/) > [Every great movement must experience three stages: ridicule, discussion, adoption.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-stuart-mill/every-great-movement-must-experience-three-stages-ridicule-discussion/) [John Stuart Mill](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-stuart-mill/) > [With all the chaos, pain and suffering in the world, the fact that my adoption of a child from who was living in an…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/madonna-ciccone/with-all-the-chaos-pain-and-suffering-in-the-world-the-fact-that-my/) [Madonna Ciccone](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/madonna-ciccone/) > [“The Friends Thou Hast And Their Adoption Tried Grapple Them To Thy Soul With Hooks Of Steel”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/william-shakespeare/the-friends-thou-hast-and-their-adoption-tried-grapple-them-to-thy-2/) [William Shakespeare](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/william-shakespeare/) [Browse all 560 Adoption quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/adoption/) ```json { "@context": "https://schema.org", "@graph": [ { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "I will say, in open adoption, all these choices you make about race, about the amount of mental illness you can deal with, about special needs and physical maladies, you have to lay all this out there before you know anybody's story.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Jennifer Gilmore" }, "isPartOf": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jennifer-gilmore/i-will-say-in-open-adoption-all-these-choices-you-make-about-race/", "about": { "@type": "Thing", "name": "Adoption" }, "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jennifer-gilmore/i-will-say-in-open-adoption-all-these-choices-you-make-about-race/#quotation", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/197/jennifer-gilmore-20736_adoption_i-will-say-in-open-adoption-all-these-ch_1594381.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/197/jennifer-gilmore-20736_adoption_i-will-say-in-open-adoption-all-these-ch_1594381.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/197/jennifer-gilmore-20736_adoption_i-will-say-in-open-adoption-all-these-ch_1594381.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“I will say, in open adoption, all these choices you make about race, about the amount of mental illness you…” — Jennifer Gilmore", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } }, { "@type": "BreadcrumbList", "itemListElement": [ { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 1, "name": "Home", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/" }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 2, "name": "Quotes", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/" }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 3, "name": "Jennifer Gilmore", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jennifer-gilmore/" }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 4, "name": "I will say, in open adoption,...", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jennifer-gilmore/i-will-say-in-open-adoption-all-these-choices-you-make-about-race/" } ], "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jennifer-gilmore/i-will-say-in-open-adoption-all-these-choices-you-make-about-race/#breadcrumb" }, { "@type": "WebSite", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website", "name": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/", "publisher": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } }, { "@type": "Organization", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization", "name": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/", "logo": { "@type": "ImageObject", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wp-content/themes/sq/assets/icons/icon-512.png", "width": 512, "height": 512 } } ] } ```