--- title: "Meaning & Key Takeaway of: I did love her, though, for a little…" description: "\"“I did love her, though, for a little while anyhow. That was the thing: I still believed, on some fundamental level, that love would cure me. That if o..." image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/448/jennifer-finney-boylan-23403_authentic-life_i-did-love-her-though-for-a-little-while_434210.jpg" --- # I did love her, though, for a little while anyhow. That… ![“I did love her, though, for a little while anyhow. That was the thing: I still believed, on some fundamental level, that love would cure me. That if only I were loved deeply enough by someone else, I would be content to stay a man. It wouldn’t be my authentic life, but it would be all right. It…” quote by Jennifer Finney Boylan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/448/jennifer-finney-boylan-23403_authentic-life_i-did-love-her-though-for-a-little-while_434210.jpg) [Download](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/448/jennifer-finney-boylan-23403_authentic-life_i-did-love-her-though-for-a-little-while_434210.jpg) [Open image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/448/jennifer-finney-boylan-23403_authentic-life_i-did-love-her-though-for-a-little-while_434210.jpg) > ““I did love her, though, for a little while anyhow. That was the thing: I still believed, on some fundamental level, that love would cure me. That if only I were loved deeply enough by someone else, I would be content to stay a man. It wouldn’t be my authentic life, but it would be all right. It was better, in any case, than coming out as transsexual, taking hormones, and having some gruesome operation and walking around like Herman Munster. An authentic life wasn’t very appealing. And so I allowed myself to be lifted off the ground by the levitating properties of romantic love.”” [Jennifer Finney Boylan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jennifer-finney-boylan/) ## About This Quote This interpretation was drafted with AI assistance. It is one reading of the quote, not the author's own explanation. The narrator reflects on using romantic love as an escape from confronting gender identity, finding it a temporary, inauthentic refuge. **In simple terms:** Romantic love used as a coping mechanism for identity struggles. Key Takeaway Seek authentic self-acceptance over temporary fixes. Themes identity love authenticity transgender escape Mood introspective confessional candid Type memoir personal philosophical When to use this quote - relationship counseling - support groups - therapy - personal reflection Key Concepts psychology of love gender identity self-acceptance Questions to Reflect On - What authentic path can replace reliance on romantic love? - How does love intersect with identity formation? A Different Perspective Relying on love may delay essential personal growth. ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ No ratings yet [Authentic life](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/authentic-life/) [Life](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/life/) [Love](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/love/) [Romantic love](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/romantic-love/) ## Related quotes > [“For the male sickness of self-contempt, the surest cure is to be loved by a clever woman”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/friedrich-nietzsche/for-the-male-sickness-of-self-contempt-the-surest-cure-is-to-be-loved/) [Friedrich Nietzsche](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/friedrich-nietzsche/) > [To me, I think love is the cure all.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kim-wayans/to-me-i-think-love-is-the-cure-all/) [Kim Wayans](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kim-wayans/) > [Our love was the affliction for which only our love was the cure.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jonathan-safran-foer/our-love-was-the-affliction-for-which-only-our-love-was-the-cure/) [Jonathan Safran Foer](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jonathan-safran-foer/) > [I'm a huge Cure fan. I love the Cure. The scales being tipped to when they weren't on a major label compared to when…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/isaac-brock/i-m-a-huge-cure-fan-i-love-the-cure-the-scales-being-tipped-to-when/) [Isaac Brock](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/isaac-brock/) > [“Hate is a disease, but love is its only cure.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/liv-morris/hate-is-a-disease-but-love-is-its-only-cure/) Liv Morris > [“ No amount of love can cure madness or unblacken one's dark moods. Love can help, it can make the pain more tolerable, but,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kay-redfield-jamison/no-amount-of-love-can-cure-madness-or-unblacken-one-s-dark-moods-love-2/) [Kay Redfield Jamison](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kay-redfield-jamison/) > [Hate knows that love is the cure.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/stevie-wonder/hate-knows-that-love-is-the-cure/) [Stevie Wonder](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/stevie-wonder/) > [The greatest miracle of love is the cure of coquetry.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/francois-de-la-rochefoucauld/the-greatest-miracle-of-love-is-the-cure-of-coquetry/) [Francois de La Rochefoucauld](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/francois-de-la-rochefoucauld/) > [The best thing to save you from death and suffering is love is a cure not a burden](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/the-best-thing-to-save-you-from-death-and-suffering-is-love-is-a-cure/) [Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/) > [I just love The Cure. I think that their songwriting is so next level, and I really like the juxtaposition between this bad boy…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/vic-mensa/i-just-love-the-cure-i-think-that-their-songwriting-is-so-next-level/) [Vic Mensa](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/vic-mensa/) > [I love The Cure.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lola-young/i-love-the-cure/) [Lola Young](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lola-young/) > [Your lips are my persuasion, your love will be my cure.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/billy-squier/your-lips-are-my-persuasion-your-love-will-be-my-cure/) [Billy Squier](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/billy-squier/) > [If love alone could cure our children, they would always be well.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/debbie-reynolds/if-love-alone-could-cure-our-children-they-would-always-be-well/) [Debbie Reynolds](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/debbie-reynolds/) > [No amount of love can cure madness or unblacken one's dark moods. Love can help, it can make the pain more tolerable, but, always,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kay-redfield-jamison/no-amount-of-love-can-cure-madness-or-unblacken-one-s-dark-moods-love/) [Kay Redfield Jamison](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kay-redfield-jamison/) > [“Hate is a disease, but love is its only cure.~ Kathryn Delcour from Adam's Fall”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/liv-morris/hate-is-a-disease-but-love-is-its-only-cure-kathryn-delcour-from-adam/) Liv Morris ## More by Jennifer Finney Boylan > [“Straight women love a feminine sensibility in a man, but that love only goes up to, and unfortunately does not quite pass, the fact…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jennifer-finney-boylan/straight-women-love-a-feminine-sensibility-in-a-man-but-that-love/) [Jennifer Finney Boylan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jennifer-finney-boylan/) > [“...a memoir is meant to be an impression of life, and not a photograph.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jennifer-finney-boylan/a-memoir-is-meant-to-be-an-impression-of-life-and-not-a-photograph/) [Jennifer Finney Boylan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jennifer-finney-boylan/) > [What transsexuality emphatically is not is a 'lifestyle,' any more than being male or female is a lifestyle. Gender is many things, but one…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jennifer-finney-boylan/what-transsexuality-emphatically-is-not-is-a-lifestyle-any-more-than/) [Jennifer Finney Boylan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jennifer-finney-boylan/) > [“There are times when I think it's impossible to know another soul. I don't know, maybe we're lucky that way. If we knew what…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jennifer-finney-boylan/there-are-times-when-i-think-it-s-impossible-to-know-another-soul-i/) [Jennifer Finney Boylan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jennifer-finney-boylan/) > [“As it turns out, we're all still learning to be men, or women, all still learning to be ourselves. pg 197”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jennifer-finney-boylan/as-it-turns-out-we-re-all-still-learning-to-be-men-or-women-all-still/) [Jennifer Finney Boylan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jennifer-finney-boylan/) > [“Although my understanding of exactly how much trouble I was in grew more specific over time, as a child I surely understood enough about…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jennifer-finney-boylan/although-my-understanding-of-exactly-how-much-trouble-i-was-in-grew/) [Jennifer Finney Boylan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jennifer-finney-boylan/) > [“The women I knew in those days liked the fact that I had a feminine streak, that I seemed to be sensitive and caring,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jennifer-finney-boylan/the-women-i-knew-in-those-days-liked-the-fact-that-i-had-a-feminine/) [Jennifer Finney Boylan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jennifer-finney-boylan/) > [“Is there anything more fundamentally human than the desire to live in another world, as someone other than our own earthbound selves?”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jennifer-finney-boylan/is-there-anything-more-fundamentally-human-than-the-desire-to-live-in/) [Jennifer Finney Boylan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jennifer-finney-boylan/) > [“Most of the time I just have to resign myself to the fact that this whole business is beyond comprehension for most straight people.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jennifer-finney-boylan/most-of-the-time-i-just-have-to-resign-myself-to-the-fact-that-this/) [Jennifer Finney Boylan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jennifer-finney-boylan/) > [“It's funny how you can know a person, think of him as your closest friend, and still never gain access to the secret chambers…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jennifer-finney-boylan/it-s-funny-how-you-can-know-a-person-think-of-him-as-your-closest/) [Jennifer Finney Boylan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jennifer-finney-boylan/) > [“I wondered ...if meeting people with creativity and passion when you were at an impressionable enough age actually kind of ruined you for life…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jennifer-finney-boylan/i-wondered-if-meeting-people-with-creativity-and-passion-when-you/) [Jennifer Finney Boylan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jennifer-finney-boylan/) > [“I think it's very human, the hope that an all-encompassing love will change us into someone else, someone better. That this hope usually turns…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jennifer-finney-boylan/i-think-it-s-very-human-the-hope-that-an-all-encompassing-love-will/) [Jennifer Finney Boylan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jennifer-finney-boylan/) > [“Which is to say that we all have dragons to slay in life. This one is mine. I hope that doing so will provide…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jennifer-finney-boylan/which-is-to-say-that-we-all-have-dragons-to-slay-in-life-this-one-is/) [Jennifer Finney Boylan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jennifer-finney-boylan/) > [“But surely the idea that one might slip away unseen and take up another life is nearly universal. Is there anything more fundamentally human…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jennifer-finney-boylan/but-surely-the-idea-that-one-might-slip-away-unseen-and-take-up/) [Jennifer Finney Boylan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jennifer-finney-boylan/) > [“I have a different theory, which is even more harebrained. It goes like this: Maybe we should all just love one another, even if…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jennifer-finney-boylan/i-have-a-different-theory-which-is-even-more-harebrained-it-goes-like/) [Jennifer Finney Boylan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jennifer-finney-boylan/) [Explore all 26 Jennifer Finney Boylan quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jennifer-finney-boylan/) ## More Authentic life quotes > [I think transwomen, and transpeople in general, show everyone that you can define what it means to be a man or woman on your…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/laverne-cox/i-think-transwomen-and-transpeople-in-general-show-everyone-that-you/) [Laverne Cox](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/laverne-cox/) > [...start thinking of yourself as an artist and your life as a work-in-progress. Works-in-progress are never perfect. But changes can be made...Art evolves. So…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sarah-ban-breathnach/start-thinking-of-yourself-as-an-artist-and-your-life-as-a-work-in/) [Sarah Ban Breathnach](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sarah-ban-breathnach/) > [It is not the pursuit of greater and greater states of happiness and bliss that leads to enlightenment, but the yearning for Reality and…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/adyashanti/it-is-not-the-pursuit-of-greater-and-greater-states-of-happiness-and/) [Adyashanti](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/adyashanti/) > [To remain absolutely free is what a true and authentic life is. So never gather any character - remain characterless.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/rajneesh/to-remain-absolutely-free-is-what-a-true-and-authentic-life-is-so/) [Rajneesh](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/rajneesh/) > [I believe that transgender people, including those who have transitioned, are living out real, authentic lives. Those lives should be celebrated, not questioned. Their…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gloria-steinem/i-believe-that-transgender-people-including-those-who-have/) [Gloria Steinem](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/gloria-steinem/) > [Your words must match your actions in this world. What you put out is what you'll receive. Only you know if your words matches…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/your-words-must-match-your-actions-in-this-world-what-you-put-out-is/) [Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/) > [“How do you react when you think you need people's love? Do you become a slave for their approval? Do you live an inauthentic…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/byron-katie/how-do-you-react-when-you-think-you-need-people-s-love-do-you-become/) [Byron Katie](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/byron-katie/) > [“Not long ago, I read an interview with the war correspondent Chris Hedges in which he used a phrase that seemed like a perfect…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/pema-ch-dr-n/not-long-ago-i-read-an-interview-with-the-war-correspondent-chris/) [Pema Chödrön](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/pema-ch-dr-n/) > [“If you let other people and random circumstances choose your beliefs, actions, and attitudes, you might end up with a life that doesn’t fit…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/vincent-h-o-neil/if-you-let-other-people-and-random-circumstances-choose-your-beliefs/) [Vincent H. O'Neil](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/vincent-h-o-neil/) > [“When, on a sea voyage, the ship is brought to anchor, you go out to fetch water and gather a few roots and shells…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/irvin-d-yalom/when-on-a-sea-voyage-the-ship-is-brought-to-anchor-you-go-out-to/) [Irvin D. Yalom](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/irvin-d-yalom/) > [Eloquent and moving... an extraordinary testament to the enduring power of love - beyond faith and dogma. It reminds us of why we are…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mira-bartok/eloquent-and-moving-an-extraordinary-testament-to-the-enduring-power/) [Mira Bartok](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mira-bartok/) > ["You're All That" goes back to really building a life from the core of who you're. And all of those things are layers. That's…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/paula-white/you-re-all-that-goes-back-to-really-building-a-life-from-the-core-of/) [Paula White](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/paula-white/) > [Today is not the day you quit. Nor is it the day you cry. Today you know that you have all the passion and…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sarah-ban-breathnach/today-is-not-the-day-you-quit-nor-is-it-the-day-you-cry-today-you/) [Sarah Ban Breathnach](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sarah-ban-breathnach/) > [“Establishing clear boundaries is a necessary part of living an authentic life. And only you get to decide what your boundaries are. It’s important…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/scott-stabile/establishing-clear-boundaries-is-a-necessary-part-of-living-an/) [Scott Stabile](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/scott-stabile/) > [I want people to have the practical tools and resources they need to lead high quality, authentic lives.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/cheryl-richardson/i-want-people-to-have-the-practical-tools-and-resources-they-need-to/) [Cheryl Richardson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/cheryl-richardson/) [Browse all 57 Authentic life quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/authentic-life/) ```json { "@context": "https://schema.org", "@graph": [ { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "“I did love her, though, for a little while anyhow. That was the thing: I still believed, on some fundamental level, that love would cure me. That if only I were loved deeply enough by someone else, I would be content to stay a man. It wouldn’t be my authentic life, but it would be all right. 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