--- title: "Meaning & Key Takeaway of: It didn't matter in the end how old they…" description: "\"It didn't matter in the end how old they had been, or that they were girls, but only that we had loved them, and that they hadn't heard us calling, sti..." image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/874/jeffrey-eugenides-462_all-time_it-didn-t-matter-in-the-end-how-old-they_1434962.jpg" --- # It didn't matter in the end how old they had been, or that… ![“It didn't matter in the end how old they had been, or that they were girls, but only that we had loved them, and that they hadn't heard us calling, still do not hear us, up here in the tree house with our thinning hair and soft bellies, calling them out of those rooms where they went to be alone…” quote by Jeffrey Eugenides](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/874/jeffrey-eugenides-462_all-time_it-didn-t-matter-in-the-end-how-old-they_1434962.jpg) [Download](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/874/jeffrey-eugenides-462_all-time_it-didn-t-matter-in-the-end-how-old-they_1434962.jpg) [Open image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/874/jeffrey-eugenides-462_all-time_it-didn-t-matter-in-the-end-how-old-they_1434962.jpg) > “It didn't matter in the end how old they had been, or that they were girls, but only that we had loved them, and that they hadn't heard us calling, still do not hear us, up here in the tree house with our thinning hair and soft bellies, calling them out of those rooms where they went to be alone for all time, alone in suicide, which is deeper than death, and where we will never find the pieces to put them back together.” [Jeffrey Eugenides](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jeffrey-eugenides/) ## About This Quote This interpretation was drafted with AI assistance. It is one reading of the quote, not the author's own explanation. Love persists beyond death, yet grief can trap us in endless longing, unable to heal. **In simple terms:** Love endures, grief can imprison. Key Takeaway Allow grief to flow without clinging to loss. Themes grief love memory loss Mood melancholic reflective Type literary emotional When to use this quote - therapy - memorial rituals - support groups Key Concepts psychology thanology emotional healing Questions to Reflect On - How can you honor loved ones while living? - What practices help release lingering sorrow? A Different Perspective Focusing solely on loss may prevent moving forward. ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ No ratings yet [All time](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/all-time/) [Alone time](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/alone-time/) [Back together](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/back-together/) [Belly](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/belly/) [Calling](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/calling/) [Death](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/death/) [Deeper](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/deeper/) [Ends](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/ends/) [Girl](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/girl/) [Girls Loved](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/girls-loved-2415993/) [Hair](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/hair/) [Heard](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/heard/) [House](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/house/) [Matter](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/matter/) [Old Girls](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/old-girls-867566/) [Pieces](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/pieces/) [Rooms](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/rooms/) [Stills](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/stills/) [Suicide](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/suicide/) [Suicide Deeper](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/suicide-deeper-2607505/) [Time Suicide](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/time-suicide-2607506/) [Together](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/together/) [Tree](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/tree/) [Tree House](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/tree-house-922676/) ## Related quotes > [“We had loved them, and that they hadn't heard us calling, still do not hear us... calling them out of those rooms where they…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jeffrey-eugenides/we-had-loved-them-and-that-they-hadn-t-heard-us-calling-still-do-not/) [Jeffrey Eugenides](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jeffrey-eugenides/) > [Girls are to be loved and not to be understand...Once you start loving them they will understand you.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/girls-are-to-be-loved-and-not-to-be-understand-once-you-start-loving/) [Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/) > [Pete Wentz was the Justin Bieber of 2007. 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Oh no, I should find strength…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/fyodor-dostoyevsky/final-explanation-i-die-not-in-the-least-because-i-am-unable-to/) [Fyodor Dostoyevsky](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/fyodor-dostoyevsky/) > [I got new girls but none of their love is for certain, I call old girls but none their numbers are workin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/drake/i-got-new-girls-but-none-of-their-love-is-for-certain-i-call-old/) [Drake](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/drake/) > [“I sort of wish that was what happened though, Ginny, because that would mean the girl is all right. Fourteen-year-old girls have run off…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/michael-mcdowell/i-sort-of-wish-that-was-what-happened-though-ginny-because-that-would/) [Michael McDowell](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/michael-mcdowell/) > [You know what makes me feel old? When I see girls who are 20-something, or the new crop of actresses, and think, Aren't we…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jennifer-aniston/you-know-what-makes-me-feel-old-when-i-see-girls-who-are-20-something/) [Jennifer Aniston](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jennifer-aniston/) > [“We used to be pretty good friends, but fourteen-year-old girls are psychotic.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jesse-andrews/we-used-to-be-pretty-good-friends-but-fourteen-year-old-girls-are/) [Jesse Andrews](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jesse-andrews/) ## More by Jeffrey Eugenides > [“Only the Lisbon house remained dark, a tunnel, an emptiness, past our smoke and flames.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jeffrey-eugenides/only-the-lisbon-house-remained-dark-a-tunnel-an-emptiness-past-our/) [Jeffrey Eugenides](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jeffrey-eugenides/) > [“She had just started living like a grown-up and she'd never felt more vulnerable, frightened or confused in her life.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jeffrey-eugenides/she-had-just-started-living-like-a-grown-up-and-she-d-never-felt-more/) [Jeffrey Eugenides](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jeffrey-eugenides/) > [It's often said that a traumatic experience early in life marks a person forever, pulls her out of line, saying, "Stay there. Don't move.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jeffrey-eugenides/it-s-often-said-that-a-traumatic-experience-early-in-life-marks-a/) [Jeffrey Eugenides](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jeffrey-eugenides/) > [“Adolescents tend to seek love where they can find it.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jeffrey-eugenides/adolescents-tend-to-seek-love-where-they-can-find-it/) [Jeffrey Eugenides](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jeffrey-eugenides/) > [“The window was still open,” Mr Lisbon said. “I don’t think we’d ever remembered to shut it. It was all clear to me. 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"Remember that play we saw ("The…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jeffrey-eugenides/i-don-t-approve-of-women-driving-mind-you-and-now-they-get-to-vote-he/) [Jeffrey Eugenides](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jeffrey-eugenides/) > [“Her face was calm, but inside she was tense.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jeffrey-eugenides/her-face-was-calm-but-inside-she-was-tense/) [Jeffrey Eugenides](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jeffrey-eugenides/) > [I know that attaching memories to books may be going out of the world, but while it lasts, it's a strong record of your…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jeffrey-eugenides/i-know-that-attaching-memories-to-books-may-be-going-out-of-the-world/) [Jeffrey Eugenides](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jeffrey-eugenides/) > [I spend most of every day writing. I like to write every day if I can. I don't start extremely early.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jeffrey-eugenides/i-spend-most-of-every-day-writing-i-like-to-write-every-day-if-i-can/) [Jeffrey Eugenides](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jeffrey-eugenides/) > [Maybe the best proof that the language is patriarchal is that it oversimplifies feeling.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jeffrey-eugenides/maybe-the-best-proof-that-the-language-is-patriarchal-is-that-it/) [Jeffrey Eugenides](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jeffrey-eugenides/) > [We knew that Cecilia had killed herself because she was a misfit, because the beyond called to her, and we knew that her sisters,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jeffrey-eugenides/we-knew-that-cecilia-had-killed-herself-because-she-was-a-misfit/) [Jeffrey Eugenides](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jeffrey-eugenides/) > [You can tell when something's not moving forward anymore. When the doubts you have about it don't go away.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jeffrey-eugenides/you-can-tell-when-something-s-not-moving-forward-anymore-when-the/) [Jeffrey Eugenides](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jeffrey-eugenides/) > [Normality wasn't normal. It couldn't be. If normality were normal, everybody could leave it alone. They could sit back and let normality manifest itself.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jeffrey-eugenides/normality-wasn-t-normal-it-couldn-t-be-if-normality-were-normal/) [Jeffrey Eugenides](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jeffrey-eugenides/) [Explore all 516 Jeffrey Eugenides quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jeffrey-eugenides/) ## More All time quotes > [To be positive at all times is to ignore all that is important, sacred or valuable. To be negative at all times is to…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kurt-cobain/to-be-positive-at-all-times-is-to-ignore-all-that-is-important-sacred/) [Kurt Cobain](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kurt-cobain/) > [One of our great allies at present is the Church itself. Do not misunderstand me. I do not mean the Church as we see…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/c-s-lewis/one-of-our-great-allies-at-present-is-the-church-itself-do-not/) [C. S. Lewis](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/c-s-lewis/) > [Let us at all times remember that all American citizens are brothers of a common country, and should dwell together in bonds of fraternal…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/abraham-lincoln/let-us-at-all-times-remember-that-all-american-citizens-are-brothers/) [Abraham Lincoln](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/abraham-lincoln/) > [I have learned so much from my dad. 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That's my favorite all-time food.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jan-fields/i-m-big-on-tomato-mozzarella-salad-that-s-my-favorite-all-time-food/) [Jan Fields](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jan-fields/) > [If you are my friend,you are down for me at all times,not just when it's convenient.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jasmine-v/if-you-are-my-friend-you-are-down-for-me-at-all-times-not-just-when/) [Jasmine V](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jasmine-v/) > [At age 22 I set what I insist is an all-time record for distance hitchhiking in Bermuda shorts: 3,700 miles in three weeks.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/hunter-s-thompson/at-age-22-i-set-what-i-insist-is-an-all-time-record-for-distance/) [Hunter S. 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This will…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/eckhart-tolle/the-key-is-to-be-in-a-state-of-permanent-connectedness-with-your/) [Eckhart Tolle](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/eckhart-tolle/) [Browse all 1,525 All time quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/all-time/) ```json { "@context": "https://schema.org", "@graph": [ { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "It didn't matter in the end how old they had been, or that they were girls, but only that we had loved them, and that they hadn't heard us calling, still do not hear us, up here in the tree house with our thinning hair and soft bellies, calling them out of those rooms where they went to be alone for all time, alone in suicide, which is deeper than death, and where we will never find the pieces to put them back together.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Jeffrey Eugenides" }, "isPartOf": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jeffrey-eugenides/it-didn-t-matter-in-the-end-how-old-they-had-been-or-that-they-were/", "about": { "@type": "Thing", "name": "All time" }, "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jeffrey-eugenides/it-didn-t-matter-in-the-end-how-old-they-had-been-or-that-they-were/#quotation", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/874/jeffrey-eugenides-462_all-time_it-didn-t-matter-in-the-end-how-old-they_1434962.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/874/jeffrey-eugenides-462_all-time_it-didn-t-matter-in-the-end-how-old-they_1434962.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/874/jeffrey-eugenides-462_all-time_it-didn-t-matter-in-the-end-how-old-they_1434962.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“It didn't matter in the end how old they had been, or that they were girls, but only that we had loved them…” — Jeffrey Eugenides", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } }, { "@type": "BreadcrumbList", "itemListElement": [ { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 1, "name": "Home", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/" }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 2, "name": "Quotes", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/" }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 3, "name": "Jeffrey Eugenides", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jeffrey-eugenides/" }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 4, "name": "It didn't matter in the end...", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jeffrey-eugenides/it-didn-t-matter-in-the-end-how-old-they-had-been-or-that-they-were/" } ], "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jeffrey-eugenides/it-didn-t-matter-in-the-end-how-old-they-had-been-or-that-they-were/#breadcrumb" }, { "@type": "WebSite", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website", "name": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/", "publisher": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } }, { "@type": "Organization", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization", "name": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/", "logo": { "@type": "ImageObject", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wp-content/themes/sq/assets/icons/icon-512.png", "width": 512, "height": 512 } } ] } ```