--- title: "Meaning & Key Takeaway of: What is it about intimacy that makes it…" description: "\"“What is it about intimacy that makes it so very disturbing?”\" — Jeanette Winterson" image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/6bf/jeanette-winterson-166_disturbing_what-is-it-about-intimacy-that-makes-it_834680.png" --- # What is it about intimacy that makes it so very disturbing? ![“What is it about intimacy that makes it so very disturbing?” quote by Jeanette Winterson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/6bf/jeanette-winterson-166_disturbing_what-is-it-about-intimacy-that-makes-it_834680.png) [Download](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/6bf/jeanette-winterson-166_disturbing_what-is-it-about-intimacy-that-makes-it_834680.png) [Open image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/6bf/jeanette-winterson-166_disturbing_what-is-it-about-intimacy-that-makes-it_834680.png) > ““What is it about intimacy that makes it so very disturbing?”” [Jeanette Winterson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jeanette-winterson/) ## About This Quote This interpretation was drafted with AI assistance. It is one reading of the quote, not the author's own explanation. Intimacy can be unsettling because it exposes vulnerability and deep emotional layers. **In simple terms:** Intimacy can feel disturbing due to vulnerability. Key Takeaway Embrace vulnerability while setting boundaries. Themes relationships vulnerability psychology Mood reflective empathetic Type philosophical psychological When to use this quote - therapy - close friendships - romantic partnerships Key Concepts emotional intimacy personal boundaries Questions to Reflect On - Why does closeness feel threatening? - How can you balance intimacy and safety? A Different Perspective Intimacy’s discomfort can hinder connection. ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ No ratings yet [Intimacy](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/intimacy/) [Life](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/life/) [Love](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/love/) [Romance](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/romance/) ## Related quotes > [“Intimacy makes you feel unique. Intimacy makes you feel as though you have been singled out, that someone in the world believes you have…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/heather-o-neill/intimacy-makes-you-feel-unique-intimacy-makes-you-feel-as-though-you/) [Heather O'Neill](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/heather-o-neill/) > [We're a lukewarm people for all our feast days and hard work. Not much touches us, but we long to be touched. We lie…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jeanette-winterson/we-re-a-lukewarm-people-for-all-our-feast-days-and-hard-work-not-much/) [Jeanette Winterson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jeanette-winterson/) > [“Intimacy needs time to mature—a shared history, tears shed, obstacles overcome, photographs in an album. It’s a slow-growing plant.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/isabel-allende/intimacy-needs-time-to-mature-a-shared-history-tears-shed-obstacles/) [Isabel Allende](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/isabel-allende/) > [“Lack of intimacy among friends is a mistake that cannot be censured without becoming irreparable.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nietzsche-friedrich-wilhelm/lack-of-intimacy-among-friends-is-a-mistake-that-cannot-be-censured/) [NIETZSCHE FRIEDRICH WILHELM](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nietzsche-friedrich-wilhelm/) > [True intimacy is the experience of real acceptance and authentic vulnerability without feeling the need to apologize or fear rejection. The freedom to just…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jordan-blake-michiels/true-intimacy-is-the-experience-of-real-acceptance-and-authentic/) [Jordan Blake Michiels](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jordan-blake-michiels/) > [Physical love is total intimacy. It is the sign that the lovers have nothing to refuse each other, that they belong wholly to each…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jacques-leclercq/physical-love-is-total-intimacy-it-is-the-sign-that-the-lovers-have/) Jacques Leclercq > [Communication is a continual balancing act, juggling the conflicting needs for intimacy and independence](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/deborah-tannen/communication-is-a-continual-balancing-act-juggling-the-conflicting/) [Deborah Tannen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/deborah-tannen/) > [I want to engage people in an honest, enlightened, and provocative conversation about the nature of erotic desire and the intricacies of intimacy and…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/esther-perel/i-want-to-engage-people-in-an-honest-enlightened-and-provocative/) [Esther Perel](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/esther-perel/) > [Awe combined with intimacy is the essence of Christian worship.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/awe-combined-with-intimacy-is-the-essence-of-christian-worship/) [Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/) > [“You thought I was answering "As you wish" but that's only because you were hearing wrong. "I love you" was what it was, but…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/william-goldman/you-thought-i-was-answering-as-you-wish-but-that-s-only-because-you/) [William Goldman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/william-goldman/) > [Is it any wonder that for millions of men the only intimacy is physical, silent, and predictable?](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/phil-donahue/is-it-any-wonder-that-for-millions-of-men-the-only-intimacy-is/) [Phil Donahue](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/phil-donahue/) > [“Intercourse is one thing, Intimacy is everything. Be encouraged”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kerry-e-wagner/intercourse-is-one-thing-intimacy-is-everything-be-encouraged/) [Kerry E. Wagner](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kerry-e-wagner/) > [Intimacy requires an ability to both merge and be separate, to come together and be apart, like oscillating on a giant swing from oneness…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/charlotte-sophia-kasl/intimacy-requires-an-ability-to-both-merge-and-be-separate-to-come/) [Charlotte Sophia Kasl](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/charlotte-sophia-kasl/) > [“One single syllable of intimacy and the world is put to rights.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-boyne/one-single-syllable-of-intimacy-and-the-world-is-put-to-rights/) [John Boyne](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-boyne/) > [“It's morning now, and I miss the soft rasp of her voice already. Ugh. I'm in trouble, aren't I?”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/pat-shand/it-s-morning-now-and-i-miss-the-soft-rasp-of-her-voice-already-ugh-i/) [Pat Shand](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/pat-shand/) ## More by Jeanette Winterson > [“After nine nights must come ten and every desperate meeting only leaves you desperate for another. There is never enough to eat, never enough…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jeanette-winterson/after-nine-nights-must-come-ten-and-every-desperate-meeting-only/) [Jeanette Winterson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jeanette-winterson/) > [You never give away your heart; you lend it from time to time. If it were not so, how could we take it back…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jeanette-winterson/you-never-give-away-your-heart-you-lend-it-from-time-to-time-if-it/) [Jeanette Winterson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jeanette-winterson/) > [I have found that I am not a space where people want to live, at least not without decorating first.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jeanette-winterson/i-have-found-that-i-am-not-a-space-where-people-want-to-live-at-least/) [Jeanette Winterson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jeanette-winterson/) > [“Yes. Just pass me my leg will you? It's on top of the wardrobe where he threw it, and I think my right arm…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jeanette-winterson/yes-just-pass-me-my-leg-will-you-it-s-on-top-of-the-wardrobe-where-he/) [Jeanette Winterson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jeanette-winterson/) > [Every second the Universe divides into possibilities and most of those possibilities never happen. It is not a uni-verse -- there is more than…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jeanette-winterson/every-second-the-universe-divides-into-possibilities-and-most-of/) [Jeanette Winterson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jeanette-winterson/) > [You are a pool of clear water where the light plays](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jeanette-winterson/you-are-a-pool-of-clear-water-where-the-light-plays/) [Jeanette Winterson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jeanette-winterson/) > [“It's the cliches that cause the trouble. A precise emotion seeks a precise expression. If what I feel is not precise than how should…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jeanette-winterson/it-s-the-cliches-that-cause-the-trouble-a-precise-emotion-seeks-a/) [Jeanette Winterson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jeanette-winterson/) > [What would it have meant to be happy? What would it have meant if things had been bright, clear, good between us?](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jeanette-winterson/what-would-it-have-meant-to-be-happy-what-would-it-have-meant-if/) [Jeanette Winterson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jeanette-winterson/) > [“Mrs Ratlow was a widow, and she was head of English, but she still did all the cooking and cleaning for her two sons,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jeanette-winterson/mrs-ratlow-was-a-widow-and-she-was-head-of-english-but-she-still-did/) [Jeanette Winterson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jeanette-winterson/) > [“I shall have nowt to talk to now the baby is boiled.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jeanette-winterson/i-shall-have-nowt-to-talk-to-now-the-baby-is-boiled/) [Jeanette Winterson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jeanette-winterson/) > [“What art does is to coax us away from the mechanical and towards the miraculous. The so-called uselessness of art is a clue to…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jeanette-winterson/what-art-does-is-to-coax-us-away-from-the-mechanical-and-towards-the/) [Jeanette Winterson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jeanette-winterson/) > [Happy Valentines Day to those who have found love, in whatever shape or form, and to those who are still hunting, don’t give up.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jeanette-winterson/happy-valentines-day-to-those-who-have-found-love-in-whatever-shape/) [Jeanette Winterson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jeanette-winterson/) > [“It took me a long time to realise that there are two kinds of writing: the one you write and the one that writes…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jeanette-winterson/it-took-me-a-long-time-to-realise-that-there-are-two-kinds-of-writing/) [Jeanette Winterson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jeanette-winterson/) > [A curse on this game. How can you stick at a game when the rules keep on changing? I shall call myself Alice and…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jeanette-winterson/a-curse-on-this-game-how-can-you-stick-at-a-game-when-the-rules-keep/) [Jeanette Winterson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jeanette-winterson/) > [“He turned away and I turned to him in vivid heat to look on the sun-dried world. The groves and towers were gone. The…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jeanette-winterson/he-turned-away-and-i-turned-to-him-in-vivid-heat-to-look-on-the-sun/) [Jeanette Winterson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jeanette-winterson/) [Explore all 1,016 Jeanette Winterson quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jeanette-winterson/) ## More Disturbing quotes > [When you lived it for years and years and years and seen different characters just get pummeled and squashed because 'I said so,' it…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/arn-anderson/when-you-lived-it-for-years-and-years-and-years-and-seen-different/) [Arn Anderson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/arn-anderson/) > [Jeff Chu's pilgrimage across America to discover his own place as a gay man in the Christian church as well as attitudes about being…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/donna-freitas/jeff-chu-s-pilgrimage-across-america-to-discover-his-own-place-as-a/) [Donna Freitas](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/donna-freitas/) > [I rejoice to live in such a splendidly disturbing time!](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/helen-keller/i-rejoice-to-live-in-such-a-splendidly-disturbing-time/) [Helen Keller](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/helen-keller/) > [I find in working always the disturbing intrusion of elements not a part of my most interested vision, and the inevitable obliteration and replacement…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/edward-hopper/i-find-in-working-always-the-disturbing-intrusion-of-elements-not-a/) [Edward Hopper](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/edward-hopper/) > [There is so much joy in native culture but so much poverty. It's very disturbing.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/buffy-sainte-marie/there-is-so-much-joy-in-native-culture-but-so-much-poverty-it-s-very/) [Buffy Sainte-Marie](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/buffy-sainte-marie/) > [“Silence can often be more disturbing than noise, it reveals the complicated mechanism of our thoughts”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jose-rodrigues-migueis/silence-can-often-be-more-disturbing-than-noise-it-reveals-the/) Jose Rodrigues Migueis > [Some guy once sent me a care package with lingerieand a seminude photo of himself. That was disturbing.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/giuliana-rancic/some-guy-once-sent-me-a-care-package-with-lingerieand-a-seminude/) [Giuliana Rancic](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/giuliana-rancic/) > [I just remember that disturbing feeling of walking into that prison, the complete loss of privacy, the complete loss of stimulation, dignity.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/cybill-shepherd/i-just-remember-that-disturbing-feeling-of-walking-into-that-prison/) [Cybill Shepherd](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/cybill-shepherd/) > [You can go to a play that is enjoyable because it's funny, and then on the next night you can go to a play…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wallace-shawn/you-can-go-to-a-play-that-is-enjoyable-because-it-s-funny-and-then-on/) [Wallace Shawn](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/wallace-shawn/) > [The theme of the party was Neverland Ranch, so guests were asked to come as anyone or anything associated with Michael Jackson. 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Then, even if you receive disturbing news, it will be easier to take, as your mind is still.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dalai-lama/compassion-automatically-brings-happiness-and-calmness-then-even-if/) [Dalai Lama](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dalai-lama/) > [He continues to smile expectantly. I take a step back. I don't want to catch whatever he has. 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