---
title: "Meaning & Key Takeaway of: Each person with his or her history of…"
description: "\"Each person with his or her history of being accepted or rejected, with his or her past history of inner pain and difficulties in relationships, is dif..."
image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/d78/jean-vanier-3367_accepted_each-person-with-his-or-her-history-of-b_1673504.jpg"
---

#  Each person with his or her history of being accepted or…

![“Each person with his or her history of being accepted or rejected, with his or her past history of inner pain and difficulties in relationships, is different. But in each one there is a yearning for communion and belonging, but at the same time a fear of it. Love is what we most want, yet it is…” quote by Jean Vanier](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/d78/jean-vanier-3367_accepted_each-person-with-his-or-her-history-of-b_1673504.jpg)   [Download](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/d78/jean-vanier-3367_accepted_each-person-with-his-or-her-history-of-b_1673504.jpg) [Open image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/d78/jean-vanier-3367_accepted_each-person-with-his-or-her-history-of-b_1673504.jpg)

> “Each person with his or her history of being accepted or rejected, with his or her past history of inner pain and difficulties in relationships, is different. But in each one there is a yearning for communion and belonging, but at the same time a fear of it. Love is what we most want, yet it is what we fear the most.”

[Jean Vanier](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jean-vanier/)

## About This Quote

This interpretation was drafted with AI assistance. It is one reading of the quote, not the author's own explanation.

People carry personal histories of acceptance, rejection, pain, and relational challenges, creating a unique yearning for connection that is simultaneously feared.

**In simple terms:** People want connection but fear it due to past hurts.

Key Takeaway

Recognize and gently address the fear behind the desire for belonging.

Themes

relationships psychology human needs fear belonging

Mood

reflective empathetic

Type

advice philosophical

When to use this quote

- counseling sessions
- team building
- family gatherings
- support groups

Key Concepts

attachment theory emotional resilience social identity

Questions to Reflect On

- How can you create a safe space for vulnerable sharing?
- What personal histories shape your own fear of intimacy?

A Different Perspective

Fear may persist despite desire, requiring patience and safe environments.

★ ★ ★ ★ ★   No ratings yet

[Being accepted](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/being-accepted/) [Belonging](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/belonging/) [Communion](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/communion/) [Desire](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/desire/) [History](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/history/) [Inner Pain](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/inner-pain/) [Love](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/love/) [Pain](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/pain/) [Past](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/past/) [Time](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/time/) [Yearning](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/yearning/)

## Related quotes

> [“Community as belonging . . . Each person with his or her history of being accepted or rejected, with his or her past history…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jean-vanier/community-as-belonging-each-person-with-his-or-her-history-of-being/)

[Jean Vanier](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jean-vanier/)

> [To be lonely is to feel unwanted and unloved, and therefor unloveable. Loneliness is a taste of death. No wonder some people who are…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jean-vanier/to-be-lonely-is-to-feel-unwanted-and-unloved-and-therefor-unloveable/)

[Jean Vanier](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jean-vanier/)

> [I do not believe we can truly enter into our own inner pain and wounds and open our hearts to others unless we have…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jean-vanier/i-do-not-believe-we-can-truly-enter-into-our-own-inner-pain-and/)

[Jean Vanier](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jean-vanier/)

> [The proof of the depth and embodiment of your realization will be seen in your love relationship. That's where the proof is in the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/adyashanti/the-proof-of-the-depth-and-embodiment-of-your-realization-will-be/)

[Adyashanti](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/adyashanti/)

> [People love to be listened to and represented, and they love it when they feel like you have some of the same problems that…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jason-isbell/people-love-to-be-listened-to-and-represented-and-they-love-it-when/)

[Jason Isbell](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jason-isbell/)

> [“When we hold an ideal of friendship in our minds, believing it’s attainable, we hold a standard above the heads of real women God…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/christine-hoover/when-we-hold-an-ideal-of-friendship-in-our-minds-believing-it-s/)

[Christine Hoover](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/christine-hoover/)

> [No matter the difficulties in relationships, people should be happy at the end of the day.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/no-matter-the-difficulties-in-relationships-people-should-be-happy-at/)

[Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/)

> [“Never allow anyone to take advantage of you in no shape form or fashion. People get into relationships for different reasons. And, many are…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/amaka-imani-nkosazana/never-allow-anyone-to-take-advantage-of-you-in-no-shape-form-or/)

[Amaka Imani Nkosazana](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/amaka-imani-nkosazana/)

> [ Everyone's relationships are very different, and very specific. I guess that's why there are people that like to watch this show \[Suits\]. It's not… ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/rick-hoffman/everyone-s-relationships-are-very-different-and-very-specific-i-guess/)

[Rick Hoffman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/rick-hoffman/)

> [Love-hate relationships, have different features of each experience. As you love there is no one else like this person as you hate there is…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kevin-mccarty/love-hate-relationships-have-different-features-of-each-experience-as/)

[Kevin McCarty](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kevin-mccarty/)

> [If your relationship with yourself isnt working, dont expect your other relationships to be any different. Nobody else in this world can make you…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nate/if-your-relationship-with-yourself-isnt-working-dont-expect-your/)

[Nate](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nate/)

> [I've always been of the mindset that relationships can be different and relationships can go bad with different people. That doesn't mean they're going…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/frank-vogel/i-ve-always-been-of-the-mindset-that-relationships-can-be-different/)

[Frank Vogel](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/frank-vogel/)

> [The Worst Part of Our Life is, when Nobody Understands Our Inner Pains... But believes in Our Artificial Smiles](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ritu-ghatourey/the-worst-part-of-our-life-is-when-nobody-understands-our-inner-pains/)

[Ritu Ghatourey](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ritu-ghatourey/)

> [My rapier wit hides my inner pain.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/cassandra-clare/my-rapier-wit-hides-my-inner-pain/)

[Cassandra Clare](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/cassandra-clare/)

> [I was trundling around with my inadequacies, and inner pain and loneliness. I yearned, desperately, to be something. I yearned to get out from…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anthony-hopkins/i-was-trundling-around-with-my-inadequacies-and-inner-pain-and/)

[Anthony Hopkins](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anthony-hopkins/)

## More by Jean Vanier

> [When we start helping the weak and the poor to rise everyone will begin to change. Those who have power and riches will start…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jean-vanier/when-we-start-helping-the-weak-and-the-poor-to-rise-everyone-will/)

[Jean Vanier](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jean-vanier/)

> [...Individualistic material progress and the desire to gain prestige by coming out on top have taken over from the sense of fellowship, compassion and…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jean-vanier/individualistic-material-progress-and-the-desire-to-gain-prestige-by/)

[Jean Vanier](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jean-vanier/)

> [To invite others to live with us is a sign that we aren't afraid, that we have a treasure of truth and of peace…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jean-vanier/to-invite-others-to-live-with-us-is-a-sign-that-we-aren-t-afraid-that/)

[Jean Vanier](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jean-vanier/)

> [People are longing to rediscover true community. We have had enough of loneliness, independence and competition.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jean-vanier/people-are-longing-to-rediscover-true-community-we-have-had-enough-of/)

[Jean Vanier](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jean-vanier/)

> [The person in misery does not need a look that judges and criticizes but a comforting presence that brings peace and hope and life…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jean-vanier/the-person-in-misery-does-not-need-a-look-that-judges-and-criticizes/)

[Jean Vanier](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jean-vanier/)

> [All of us have a secret desire to be seen as saints, heroes, martyrs. We are afraid to be children, to be ourselves.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jean-vanier/all-of-us-have-a-secret-desire-to-be-seen-as-saints-heroes-martyrs-we/)

[Jean Vanier](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jean-vanier/)

> [To be free is to put justice, truth and service to others over and above our personal gain or our need for recognition, power,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jean-vanier/to-be-free-is-to-put-justice-truth-and-service-to-others-over-and/)

[Jean Vanier](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jean-vanier/)

> [If we love (the poor) people, we want to identify with them and share with them.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jean-vanier/if-we-love-the-poor-people-we-want-to-identify-with-them-and-share/)

[Jean Vanier](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jean-vanier/)

> [“Sympathies and antipathies . . . Human friendships can very quickly become a club of mediocrities, enclosed in mutual flattery and approval, preventing people…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jean-vanier/sympathies-and-antipathies-human-friendships-can-very-quickly-become/)

[Jean Vanier](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jean-vanier/)

> [A community is only a community when the majority of its members are making the transition from 'the community for myself' to 'myself for…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jean-vanier/a-community-is-only-a-community-when-the-majority-of-its-members-are/)

[Jean Vanier](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jean-vanier/)

> [Each person is sacred, no matter what his or her culture, religion, handicap, or fragility. Each person is created in God’s image; each one…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jean-vanier/each-person-is-sacred-no-matter-what-his-or-her-culture-religion/)

[Jean Vanier](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jean-vanier/)

> [But let us not put our sights too high. We do not have to be saviours of the world! We are simply human beings,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jean-vanier/but-let-us-not-put-our-sights-too-high-we-do-not-have-to-be-saviours/)

[Jean Vanier](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jean-vanier/)

> [Each human being, however small or weak, has something to bring to humanity. As we start to really get to know others, as we…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jean-vanier/each-human-being-however-small-or-weak-has-something-to-bring-to/)

[Jean Vanier](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jean-vanier/)

> [“Have patience . . . We are not the masters of our own feelings of attraction or revulsion; these come from places in ourselves…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jean-vanier/have-patience-we-are-not-the-masters-of-our-own-feelings-of/)

[Jean Vanier](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jean-vanier/)

> [The people with the best sense of what is essential to a community, of what gives and maintains its spirit, are often doing very…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jean-vanier/the-people-with-the-best-sense-of-what-is-essential-to-a-community-of/)

[Jean Vanier](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jean-vanier/)

[Explore all 132 Jean Vanier quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jean-vanier/)

## More Accepted quotes

> [Merkel has realized that the euro is not working, but she cannot change the narrative she has created because that narrative has caught the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/george-soros/merkel-has-realized-that-the-euro-is-not-working-but-she-cannot/)

[George Soros](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/george-soros/)

> [I started off playing by ear, and being around a bunch of musicians and playing in the streets and in the different parades and,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/troy-andrews/i-started-off-playing-by-ear-and-being-around-a-bunch-of-musicians/)

[Troy Andrews](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/troy-andrews/)

> [Greatness is not guarding yourself from people. Greatness is being accepted by the people](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mike-tyson/greatness-is-not-guarding-yourself-from-people-greatness-is-being/)

[Mike Tyson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mike-tyson/)

> [The idea that this world is a playground instead of a battleground has now been accepted in practice by the vast majority of Christians.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/aiden-wilson-tozer/the-idea-that-this-world-is-a-playground-instead-of-a-battleground/)

[Aiden Wilson Tozer](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/aiden-wilson-tozer/)

> [Bruce Katz is a spectacular talent! He's a brilliant composer and arranger who uses uncommon and unique musical intelligence to redefine jazz and blues…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/larry-coryell/bruce-katz-is-a-spectacular-talent-he-s-a-brilliant-composer-and/)

[Larry Coryell](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/larry-coryell/)

> [wishes for sons by Lucille Clifton i wish them cramps. i wish them a strange town and the last tampon. I wish them no…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lucille-clifton/wishes-for-sons-by-lucille-clifton-i-wish-them-cramps-i-wish-them-a/)

[Lucille Clifton](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lucille-clifton/)

> [What our species needs, above all else, is a generally accepted ethical system that is compatible with the scientific knowledge we now possess.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/what-our-species-needs-above-all-else-is-a-generally-accepted-ethical/)

[Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/)

> [There are a lot of movies about misfits that are quite cool, that kind of glamorize it on some level. I think there are…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/rebecca-hall/there-are-a-lot-of-movies-about-misfits-that-are-quite-cool-that-kind/)

[Rebecca Hall](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/rebecca-hall/)

> [In Quebec City many Muslims have said that they hide their faith because they know that if they don't, if they show that they…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/andre-pratte/in-quebec-city-many-muslims-have-said-that-they-hide-their-faith/)

Andre Pratte

> [The rules and principles of case law have never been treated as final truths but as working hypotheses, continually retested in those great laboratories…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/benjamin-n-cardozo/the-rules-and-principles-of-case-law-have-never-been-treated-as-final/)

[Benjamin N. Cardozo](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/benjamin-n-cardozo/)

> [ We have reached a situation where a theory has been accepted as fact by some, and possible contrary evidence is shunted aside. \[This is\]… ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/robert-shapiro/we-have-reached-a-situation-where-a-theory-has-been-accepted-as-fact/)

[Robert Shapiro](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/robert-shapiro/)

> [And if all others accepted the lie which the Party imposed—if all records told the same tale—then the lie passed into history and became…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/george-orwell/and-if-all-others-accepted-the-lie-which-the-party-imposed-if-all/)

[George Orwell](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/george-orwell/)

> [I was in a conversation and someone said: "You know, we were talking about the whole issue of transgender and how it has become…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/oprah-winfrey/i-was-in-a-conversation-and-someone-said-you-know-we-were-talking/)

[Oprah Winfrey](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/oprah-winfrey/)

> [Divorce is so common and accepted in America that beating myself up over it may sound ridiculous. But I was raised to believe that…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/trisha-yearwood/divorce-is-so-common-and-accepted-in-america-that-beating-myself-up/)

[Trisha Yearwood](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/trisha-yearwood/)

> [Handicaps can be converted into stepping stones on which one may climb toward some worthy goal, unless they are accepted as obstacles, and used…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/napoleon-hill/handicaps-can-be-converted-into-stepping-stones-on-which-one-may/)

[Napoleon Hill](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/napoleon-hill/)

Browse all 2,128 Accepted quotes

```json
{
    "@context": "https://schema.org",
    "@graph": [
        {
            "@type": "Quotation",
            "text": "Each person with his or her history of being accepted or rejected, with his or her past history of inner pain and difficulties in relationships, is different. But in each one there is a yearning for communion and belonging, but at the same time a fear of it. Love is what we most want, yet it is what we fear the most.",
            "creator": {
                "@type": "Person",
                "name": "Jean Vanier"
            },
            "isPartOf": {
                "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website"
            },
            "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jean-vanier/each-person-with-his-or-her-history-of-being-accepted-or-rejected/",
            "about": {
                "@type": "Thing",
                "name": "Accepted"
            },
            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jean-vanier/each-person-with-his-or-her-history-of-being-accepted-or-rejected/#quotation",
            "image": {
                "@type": "ImageObject",
                "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/d78/jean-vanier-3367_accepted_each-person-with-his-or-her-history-of-b_1673504.jpg",
                "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/d78/jean-vanier-3367_accepted_each-person-with-his-or-her-history-of-b_1673504.jpg",
                "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/d78/jean-vanier-3367_accepted_each-person-with-his-or-her-history-of-b_1673504.jpg",
                "width": 1080,
                "height": 1080,
                "caption": "“Each person with his or her history of being accepted or rejected, with his or her past history of inner…” — Jean Vanier",
                "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes",
                "creator": {
                    "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization"
                }
            }
        },
        {
            "@type": "BreadcrumbList",
            "itemListElement": [
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 1,
                    "name": "Home",
                    "item": "https://sms4smile.com/"
                },
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 2,
                    "name": "Quotes",
                    "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/"
                },
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 3,
                    "name": "Jean Vanier",
                    "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jean-vanier/"
                },
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 4,
                    "name": "Each person with his or her...",
                    "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jean-vanier/each-person-with-his-or-her-history-of-being-accepted-or-rejected/"
                }
            ],
            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jean-vanier/each-person-with-his-or-her-history-of-being-accepted-or-rejected/#breadcrumb"
        },
        {
            "@type": "WebSite",
            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website",
            "name": "SMS4Smile Quotes",
            "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/",
            "publisher": {
                "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization"
            }
        },
        {
            "@type": "Organization",
            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization",
            "name": "SMS4Smile Quotes",
            "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/",
            "logo": {
                "@type": "ImageObject",
                "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wp-content/themes/sq/assets/icons/icon-512.png",
                "width": 512,
                "height": 512
            }
        }
    ]
}
```
