---
title: "Meaning & Key Takeaway of: If we know it's happening, and we're not…"
description: "\"If we know it's happening, and we're not having the discussion, we're contributing to the problem of making it seem like people can't open up.\" — Jay A..."
image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/41c/jay-asher-888_discussion_if-we-know-it-s-happening-and-we-re-not_77400.png"
---

#  If we know it's happening, and we're not having the…

![“If we know it's happening, and we're not having the discussion, we're contributing to the problem of making it seem like people can't open up.” quote by Jay Asher](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/41c/jay-asher-888_discussion_if-we-know-it-s-happening-and-we-re-not_77400.png)   [Download](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/41c/jay-asher-888_discussion_if-we-know-it-s-happening-and-we-re-not_77400.png) [Open image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/41c/jay-asher-888_discussion_if-we-know-it-s-happening-and-we-re-not_77400.png)

> “If we know it's happening, and we're not having the discussion, we're contributing to the problem of making it seem like people can't open up.”

[Jay Asher](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jay-asher/)

## About This Quote

This interpretation was drafted with AI assistance. It is one reading of the quote, not the author's own explanation.

When awareness of an issue exists but dialogue is avoided, silence reinforces the problem and discourages openness.

**In simple terms:** Silence sustains the issue.

Key Takeaway

Avoiding conversation worsens the problem.

Themes

communication psychology social dynamics stigma responsibility

Mood

concerned reflective urgent

Type

advice observation call to action

When to use this quote

- team meetings
- family discussions
- mental health forums
- public policy debates
- online communities

Key Concepts

dialogue awareness openness social pressure

Practical Applications

- facilitate open forums
- train active listening

Questions to Reflect On

- What barriers prevent people from speaking up?
- How can we create safe spaces for honest dialogue?

★ ★ ★ ★ ★   No ratings yet

[People](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/people/)

## Related quotes

> [It's so funny because a lot of times we'll have these discussions as writers, and you feel like you're having a discussion with your…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jason-katims/it-s-so-funny-because-a-lot-of-times-we-ll-have-these-discussions-as/)

[Jason Katims](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jason-katims/)

> [“This is the problem with making a thing forbidden. It does nothing but build an ache in the heart.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/leigh-bardugo/this-is-the-problem-with-making-a-thing-forbidden-it-does-nothing-but/)

[Leigh Bardugo](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/leigh-bardugo/)

> [I've got no problem making 125.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/t-j-dillashaw/i-ve-got-no-problem-making-125/)

[T.J. Dillashaw](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/t-j-dillashaw/)

> [We don't have any problem finding enough things to do; the problem we have is making sure we don't overload ourselves inadvertently.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jimmy-carter/we-don-t-have-any-problem-finding-enough-things-to-do-the-problem-we/)

[Jimmy Carter](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jimmy-carter/)

> [The problem is not making up the steps but deciding which ones to keep.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mikhail-baryshnikov/the-problem-is-not-making-up-the-steps-but-deciding-which-ones-to-keep/)

[Mikhail Baryshnikov](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mikhail-baryshnikov/)

> [Today our problem is not making miracles, but managing them.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lyndon-b-johnson/today-our-problem-is-not-making-miracles-but-managing-them/)

[Lyndon B. Johnson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lyndon-b-johnson/)

> [As a filmmaker, you are constantly having the discussion with your team about whether something is "relatable".](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/chris-milk/as-a-filmmaker-you-are-constantly-having-the-discussion-with-your/)

[Chris Milk](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/chris-milk/)

> [We're muddying the waters when we are having a discussion about what's going on on YouTube and Twitter and whether that's a matter of…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anthony-fantano/we-re-muddying-the-waters-when-we-are-having-a-discussion-about-what/)

[Anthony Fantano](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anthony-fantano/)

> [“Bella, we’re not having this discussion anymore. I refuse to damn you to an eternity of night and that’s the end of it.-Edward Cullen”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/stephanie-meyer/bella-we-re-not-having-this-discussion-anymore-i-refuse-to-damn-you/)

[Stephanie Meyer](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/stephanie-meyer/)

> [I think I'm comfortable meeting new people and having a discussion with someone.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/stefanos-tsitsipas/i-think-i-m-comfortable-meeting-new-people-and-having-a-discussion/)

[Stefanos Tsitsipas](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/stefanos-tsitsipas/)

> [“Being superior to others is nothing other than having people talk about your affairs and listening to their opinions. The general run of people…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/yamamoto-tsunetomo/being-superior-to-others-is-nothing-other-than-having-people-talk/)

[Yamamoto Tsunetomo](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/yamamoto-tsunetomo/)

> [“It's, yeah, because you're answering my questions." "Is it not possible that the sounds I am emitting simply conform by coincidence to the conditions…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nagaru-tanigawa/it-s-yeah-because-you-re-answering-my-questions-is-it-not-possible/)

[Nagaru Tanigawa](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nagaru-tanigawa/)

> [I think you can't have this discussion and you can't have a discussion about feminism and the consciousness of the world without having a…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/amanda-palmer/i-think-you-can-t-have-this-discussion-and-you-can-t-have-a/)

[Amanda Palmer](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/amanda-palmer/)

> [“Selling is simply having a discussion, where the goal is to discern how you can best serve the prospect.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/rob-liano/selling-is-simply-having-a-discussion-where-the-goal-is-to-discern/)

[Rob Liano](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/rob-liano/)

> [I know many people who have open relationships.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/arlene-phillips/i-know-many-people-who-have-open-relationships/)

[Arlene Phillips](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/arlene-phillips/)

## More by Jay Asher

> [Then come to realize that you're making mountains out of molehills. Realize how petty you've become. Sure, it may feel like you can't get…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jay-asher/then-come-to-realize-that-you-re-making-mountains-out-of-molehills/)

[Jay Asher](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jay-asher/)

> [Because it may seem like a small role now, but it matters. In the end, everything matters.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jay-asher/because-it-may-seem-like-a-small-role-now-but-it-matters-in-the-end/)

[Jay Asher](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jay-asher/)

> [Don't give up on me now. I'm sorry. I guess that's an odd thing to say. Because isn't that what I'm doing? Giving up?](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jay-asher/don-t-give-up-on-me-now-i-m-sorry-i-guess-that-s-an-odd-thing-to-say/)

[Jay Asher](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jay-asher/)

> [If you're angry, you don't have to write a poem dealing with the cause of your anger. But it needs to be an angry…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jay-asher/if-you-re-angry-you-don-t-have-to-write-a-poem-dealing-with-the-cause/)

[Jay Asher](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jay-asher/)

> [“Pero no puedes escaparte de ti misma. No puedes decidir no verte más. No puedes decidir apagar el ruido de tu cabeza.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jay-asher/pero-no-puedes-escaparte-de-ti-misma-no-puedes-decidir-no-verte-m-s/)

[Jay Asher](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jay-asher/)

> [“When you mess with one part of a person’s life, you’re messing with their entire life.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jay-asher/when-you-mess-with-one-part-of-a-person-s-life-you-re-messing-with/)

[Jay Asher](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jay-asher/)

> [I miss video games where the jump-kick was the trickiest combo to master.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jay-asher/i-miss-video-games-where-the-jump-kick-was-the-trickiest-combo-to/)

[Jay Asher](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jay-asher/)

> [“One day, at least it seemed that fast, she just stopped wanting to be a part of anything.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jay-asher/one-day-at-least-it-seemed-that-fast-she-just-stopped-wanting-to-be-a/)

[Jay Asher](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jay-asher/)

> [And as I stood there in the hallway―alone―trying to understand what had just happened and why, I realized the truth: I wasn't worth an…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jay-asher/and-as-i-stood-there-in-the-hallway-alone-trying-to-understand-what/)

[Jay Asher](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jay-asher/)

> [I was too weak to walk. At least, I thought I was too weak. But in truth, I was too weak to try.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jay-asher/i-was-too-weak-to-walk-at-least-i-thought-i-was-too-weak-but-in-truth/)

[Jay Asher](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jay-asher/)

> [Personally, I never understood the power of having books written about your experience - whatever that experience may be - until I wrote one…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jay-asher/personally-i-never-understood-the-power-of-having-books-written-about/)

[Jay Asher](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jay-asher/)

> [Fiction is an easy way to talk about issues: I think it feels less preachy. You can have the students discuss characters in the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jay-asher/fiction-is-an-easy-way-to-talk-about-issues-i-think-it-feels-less/)

[Jay Asher](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jay-asher/)

> ['Fifty Shades' opened the door and made it easier to write about any issue that's controversial. It has helped other authors talk honestly.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jay-asher/fifty-shades-opened-the-door-and-made-it-easier-to-write-about-any/)

[Jay Asher](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jay-asher/)

> [I can't. You can't rewrite the past.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jay-asher/i-can-t-you-can-t-rewrite-the-past/)

[Jay Asher](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jay-asher/)

> [No one knows for certain how much impact they have on the lives of other people. Oftentimes, we have no clue. Yet we push…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jay-asher/no-one-knows-for-certain-how-much-impact-they-have-on-the-lives-of/)

[Jay Asher](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jay-asher/)

[Explore all 323 Jay Asher quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jay-asher/)

## More Discussion quotes

> [There's always that discussion about fiction about how do you market it - these are books for boys, these are books for girls, these…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/l-a-weatherly/there-s-always-that-discussion-about-fiction-about-how-do-you-market/)

[L.A. Weatherly](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/l-a-weatherly/)

> [To prevent discussion of any other explanations of human origins is hardly what I would expect from open-minded educators.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/tony-campolo/to-prevent-discussion-of-any-other-explanations-of-human-origins-is/)

[Tony Campolo](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/tony-campolo/)

> [The "family" has clearly emerged anew in the late 1970s as a central subject for discussion, debate, research and writing in bothscholarly and popular…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sheila-kamerman/the-family-has-clearly-emerged-anew-in-the-late-1970s-as-a-central/)

Sheila Kamerman

> [There's an interesting book about that called The Third Reich and the Ivory Tower, written by Stephen H. Norwood. It has a long discussion…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/noam-chomsky/there-s-an-interesting-book-about-that-called-the-third-reich-and-the/)

[Noam Chomsky](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/noam-chomsky/)

> [ \[Kathleen Blackshear\] just said, "Have you thought of looking at this?" and so on and so on and so on. And it was a… ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/warren-mackenzie/kathleen-blackshear-just-said-have-you-thought-of-looking-at-this-and/)

[Warren MacKenzie](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/warren-mackenzie/)

> [There needs to be some regime that is overseeing access to broadband to make sure we have openess; otherwise, there is a risk it…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/vint-cerf/there-needs-to-be-some-regime-that-is-overseeing-access-to-broadband/)

[Vint Cerf](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/vint-cerf/)

> [There are two famous labyrinths where our reason very often goes astray. One concerns the great question of the free and the necessary, above…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gottfried-leibniz/there-are-two-famous-labyrinths-where-our-reason-very-often-goes/)

[Gottfried Leibniz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/gottfried-leibniz/)

> [ \[James\] Madison pointed out in the discussion of the constitutional debates - the constitutional convention - that democracy would be a danger. He used… ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/noam-chomsky/james-madison-pointed-out-in-the-discussion-of-the-constitutional/)

[Noam Chomsky](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/noam-chomsky/)

> [As a leader... I have always endeavored to listen to what each and every person in a discussion had to say before venturing my…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nelson-mandela/as-a-leader-i-have-always-endeavored-to-listen-to-what-each-and-every/)

[Nelson Mandela](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nelson-mandela/)

> [Police in China can do whatever they want; after 81 days in arbitrary detention you clearly realise that they don't have to obey their…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ai-weiwei/police-in-china-can-do-whatever-they-want-after-81-days-in-arbitrary/)

[Ai Weiwei](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ai-weiwei/)

> [There is no discussion inside this boardroom to say we've got to get into this or that. We look at every growth opportunity on…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/james-packer/there-is-no-discussion-inside-this-boardroom-to-say-we-ve-got-to-get/)

[James Packer](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/james-packer/)

> [I am devoting my lecture in this seminar to a discussion of the possibility that we are now entering a Jewish century, a time…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/martin-a-siegel/i-am-devoting-my-lecture-in-this-seminar-to-a-discussion-of-the/)

Martin A. Siegel

> [In a meat-eating world, wearing leather for shoes and clothes and even handbags, the discussion of fur is childish.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/karl-lagerfeld/in-a-meat-eating-world-wearing-leather-for-shoes-and-clothes-and-even/)

[Karl Lagerfeld](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/karl-lagerfeld/)

> [In the late 1950s a major topic under discussion was whether Canada should acquire nuclear weapons.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-charles-polanyi/in-the-late-1950s-a-major-topic-under-discussion-was-whether-canada/)

[John Charles Polanyi](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-charles-polanyi/)

> [Every discussion of the status of woman is complicated by the existence of the lady. She overshadows the rest of her sex.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/emily-james-smith-putnam/every-discussion-of-the-status-of-woman-is-complicated-by-the/)

[Emily James Smith Putnam](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/emily-james-smith-putnam/)

Browse all 1,504 Discussion quotes

```json
{
    "@context": "https://schema.org",
    "@graph": [
        {
            "@type": "Quotation",
            "text": "If we know it's happening, and we're not having the discussion, we're contributing to the problem of making it seem like people can't open up.",
            "creator": {
                "@type": "Person",
                "name": "Jay Asher"
            },
            "isPartOf": {
                "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website"
            },
            "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jay-asher/if-we-know-it-s-happening-and-we-re-not-having-the-discussion-we-re/",
            "about": {
                "@type": "Thing",
                "name": "Discussion"
            },
            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jay-asher/if-we-know-it-s-happening-and-we-re-not-having-the-discussion-we-re/#quotation",
            "image": {
                "@type": "ImageObject",
                "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/41c/jay-asher-888_discussion_if-we-know-it-s-happening-and-we-re-not_77400.png",
                "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/41c/jay-asher-888_discussion_if-we-know-it-s-happening-and-we-re-not_77400.png",
                "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/41c/jay-asher-888_discussion_if-we-know-it-s-happening-and-we-re-not_77400.png",
                "width": 1080,
                "height": 1080,
                "caption": "“If we know it's happening, and we're not having the discussion, we're contributing to the problem of making…” — Jay Asher",
                "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes",
                "creator": {
                    "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization"
                }
            }
        },
        {
            "@type": "BreadcrumbList",
            "itemListElement": [
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 1,
                    "name": "Home",
                    "item": "https://sms4smile.com/"
                },
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 2,
                    "name": "Quotes",
                    "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/"
                },
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 3,
                    "name": "Jay Asher",
                    "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jay-asher/"
                },
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 4,
                    "name": "If we know it's happening, and...",
                    "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jay-asher/if-we-know-it-s-happening-and-we-re-not-having-the-discussion-we-re/"
                }
            ],
            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jay-asher/if-we-know-it-s-happening-and-we-re-not-having-the-discussion-we-re/#breadcrumb"
        },
        {
            "@type": "WebSite",
            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website",
            "name": "SMS4Smile Quotes",
            "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/",
            "publisher": {
                "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization"
            }
        },
        {
            "@type": "Organization",
            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization",
            "name": "SMS4Smile Quotes",
            "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/",
            "logo": {
                "@type": "ImageObject",
                "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wp-content/themes/sq/assets/icons/icon-512.png",
                "width": 512,
                "height": 512
            }
        }
    ]
}
```
