---
title: "Meaning & Key Takeaway of: Every woman I've had a relationship with…"
description: "\"Every woman I've had a relationship with has found this maddening; the fact that I will talk about anything on the stage, and reveal all this stuff, an..."
image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/f28/jarvis-cocker-4176_clams_every-woman-i-ve-had-a-relationship-with_1397785.png"
---

#  Every woman I've had a relationship with has found this…

![“Every woman I've had a relationship with has found this maddening; the fact that I will talk about anything on the stage, and reveal all this stuff, and yet when I'm at home, I clam up and won't discuss anything intimate or personal.” quote by Jarvis Cocker](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/f28/jarvis-cocker-4176_clams_every-woman-i-ve-had-a-relationship-with_1397785.png)   [Download](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/f28/jarvis-cocker-4176_clams_every-woman-i-ve-had-a-relationship-with_1397785.png) [Open image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/f28/jarvis-cocker-4176_clams_every-woman-i-ve-had-a-relationship-with_1397785.png)

> “Every woman I've had a relationship with has found this maddening; the fact that I will talk about anything on the stage, and reveal all this stuff, and yet when I'm at home, I clam up and won't discuss anything intimate or personal.”

[Jarvis Cocker](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jarvis-cocker/)

## About This Quote

This interpretation was drafted with AI assistance. It is one reading of the quote, not the author's own explanation.

The speaker notes a paradox: they are open on stage but closed off in private, revealing a discomfort with intimacy.

**In simple terms:** Open publicly, closed privately, fearing personal vulnerability.

Key Takeaway

Allow yourself to share personal truths in safe spaces.

Themes

vulnerability public vs private communication

Mood

anxious introspective

Type

reflective confessional

When to use this quote

- personal relationships
- public performance
- mental health
- trust building

Key Concepts

authenticity fear self‑censorship

Questions to Reflect On

- Why do you hide personal stories?
- What would happen if you opened up?

A Different Perspective

The reluctance to discuss intimacy may stem from fear of judgment or loss of control.

★ ★ ★ ★ ★   No ratings yet

[Facts](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/facts/) [Home](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/home/) [Intimate](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/intimate/) [Stage](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/stage/)

## Related quotes

> [Guys don't really don't wanna hear if it's really smart, and women feel uncomfortable if you reveal stuff they're going to have to remember…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/liz-phair/guys-don-t-really-don-t-wanna-hear-if-it-s-really-smart-and-women/)

[Liz Phair](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/liz-phair/)

> [I think people can't believe I can still walk and talk and get on the stage without assistance.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anne-reid/i-think-people-can-t-believe-i-can-still-walk-and-talk-and-get-on-the/)

[Anne Reid](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anne-reid/)

> [I knew that this was what I wanted to talk about on stage. There was no point being coy about it, or pretending that…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/julian-clary/i-knew-that-this-was-what-i-wanted-to-talk-about-on-stage-there-was/)

[Julian Clary](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/julian-clary/)

> [I lay no claim, it should be clear, to being a historian. So in my books, the intimate and personal have been intertwined inextricably…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/khaled-hosseini/i-lay-no-claim-it-should-be-clear-to-being-a-historian-so-in-my-books/)

[Khaled Hosseini](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/khaled-hosseini/)

> [People getting along doesn't sell very well in the news. I find that to be deeply depressing. I don't even talk about it on…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mike-birbiglia/people-getting-along-doesn-t-sell-very-well-in-the-news-i-find-that/)

[Mike Birbiglia](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mike-birbiglia/)

> [ “\[On technology:\] A realm of intimate, personal power is developing -- power of the individual to conduct his own education, find his own inspiration,… ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/stewart-brand/on-technology-a-realm-of-intimate-personal-power-is-developing-power/)

[Stewart Brand](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/stewart-brand/)

> [The truth is, whoever I've dated, if I've ever wanted to talk about them on stage, I've asked them first, and I've gotten their…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/amy-schumer/the-truth-is-whoever-i-ve-dated-if-i-ve-ever-wanted-to-talk-about/)

[Amy Schumer](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/amy-schumer/)

> [I like to talk while I'm on stage. It makes the show more personal. With that said, it's got to stay within reason or…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ron-pope/i-like-to-talk-while-i-m-on-stage-it-makes-the-show-more-personal/)

[Ron Pope](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ron-pope/)

> [The main thing to avoid being a casualty is simply this: to have a kind of intimate personal relationship with Jesus Christ whereby you're…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/charles-stanley/the-main-thing-to-avoid-being-a-casualty-is-simply-this-to-have-a/)

[Charles Stanley](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/charles-stanley/)

> [“Yeah. Art is a lot like sex. It’s intimate and personal. It’s about being laid bare. About pushing boundaries. It’s about making our senses…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/marie-sexton/yeah-art-is-a-lot-like-sex-it-s-intimate-and-personal-it-s-about/)

[Marie Sexton](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/marie-sexton/)

> [I really enjoy being vulnerable, and it's how I connect with other people, and part of how I do that is through food, by…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/antoni-porowski/i-really-enjoy-being-vulnerable-and-it-s-how-i-connect-with-other/)

[Antoni Porowski](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/antoni-porowski/)

> [There is a huge difference between writing a book, which is a private activity I engage in with myself, and wanting to engage in…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/michelle-tea/there-is-a-huge-difference-between-writing-a-book-which-is-a-private/)

[Michelle Tea](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/michelle-tea/)

> [I never know what I'm going to talk about until I get on stage. I never give the same lecture twice, which is why…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/harlan-ellison/i-never-know-what-i-m-going-to-talk-about-until-i-get-on-stage-i/)

[Harlan Ellison](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/harlan-ellison/)

> [Our schools too often want to shut people up so they can't talk about real solutions. People who think differently tend to clam up…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/benjamin-carson/our-schools-too-often-want-to-shut-people-up-so-they-can-t-talk-about/)

[Benjamin Carson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/benjamin-carson/)

> [There's little in taking or giving, There's little in water or wine: This living, this living, this living, Was never a project of mine.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dorothy-parker/there-s-little-in-taking-or-giving-there-s-little-in-water-or-wine/)

[Dorothy Parker](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dorothy-parker/)

## More by Jarvis Cocker

> [The things in my songs are the edited highlights of my life. I don't go seeking out strange sexual experiences every day of the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jarvis-cocker/the-things-in-my-songs-are-the-edited-highlights-of-my-life-i-don-t/)

[Jarvis Cocker](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jarvis-cocker/)

> [I appreciate people who try and use language in an interesting way.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jarvis-cocker/i-appreciate-people-who-try-and-use-language-in-an-interesting-way/)

[Jarvis Cocker](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jarvis-cocker/)

> [You get to a certain age and you just want to prove that you can still rock - that you've still got it.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jarvis-cocker/you-get-to-a-certain-age-and-you-just-want-to-prove-that-you-can/)

[Jarvis Cocker](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jarvis-cocker/)

> [I don't think people should abuse the fact that they are in showbiz. You still have to be human. I think that's the point.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jarvis-cocker/i-don-t-think-people-should-abuse-the-fact-that-they-are-in-showbiz/)

[Jarvis Cocker](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jarvis-cocker/)

> [I'm always nervous when I perform anyway.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jarvis-cocker/i-m-always-nervous-when-i-perform-anyway/)

[Jarvis Cocker](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jarvis-cocker/)

> [“I love your body 'cause I've lost my mind If you want someone to talk to, you're wasting your time If you want someone…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jarvis-cocker/i-love-your-body-cause-i-ve-lost-my-mind-if-you-want-someone-to-talk/)

[Jarvis Cocker](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jarvis-cocker/)

> [It’s interesting that most gadgets are called ‘iPhone’ and ‘iPod,’ with that ‘i’ prefix, which is ego. But most creativity is not ego-led –…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jarvis-cocker/it-s-interesting-that-most-gadgets-are-called-iphone-and-ipod-with/)

[Jarvis Cocker](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jarvis-cocker/)

> [“And as I touch your shoulder tonight this room has become the centre of the entire universe.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jarvis-cocker/and-as-i-touch-your-shoulder-tonight-this-room-has-become-the-centre/)

[Jarvis Cocker](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jarvis-cocker/)

> [Don't think that the things around you don't count, because they do.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jarvis-cocker/don-t-think-that-the-things-around-you-don-t-count-because-they-do/)

[Jarvis Cocker](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jarvis-cocker/)

> [The good thing about people really is their iffy-ness and dodginess, isnt it?](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jarvis-cocker/the-good-thing-about-people-really-is-their-iffy-ness-and-dodginess/)

[Jarvis Cocker](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jarvis-cocker/)

> [The thing with Disney songs is they're very manipulative, very sentimental, but they do get you, you know - there's a kind of sadness…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jarvis-cocker/the-thing-with-disney-songs-is-they-re-very-manipulative-very/)

[Jarvis Cocker](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jarvis-cocker/)

> [ \[Jeffrey Lewis is\] The best lyricist working in the US today. ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jarvis-cocker/jeffrey-lewis-is-the-best-lyricist-working-in-the-us-today/)

[Jarvis Cocker](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jarvis-cocker/)

> [I guess I'm fairly insistent and maybe consistent. If I decide I'll do something, I generally will.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jarvis-cocker/i-guess-i-m-fairly-insistent-and-maybe-consistent-if-i-decide-i-ll-do/)

[Jarvis Cocker](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jarvis-cocker/)

> [Pornography takes all the reality out of sex and Disney does that to family life.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jarvis-cocker/pornography-takes-all-the-reality-out-of-sex-and-disney-does-that-to/)

[Jarvis Cocker](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jarvis-cocker/)

> [My basic position is that the more mixed the society and the more mobility there is in it, the better. That's what makes things…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jarvis-cocker/my-basic-position-is-that-the-more-mixed-the-society-and-the-more/)

[Jarvis Cocker](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jarvis-cocker/)

[Explore all 115 Jarvis Cocker quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jarvis-cocker/)

## More Clams quotes

> [There's little in taking or giving, There's little in water or wine: This living, this living, this living, Was never a project of mine.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dorothy-parker/there-s-little-in-taking-or-giving-there-s-little-in-water-or-wine/)

[Dorothy Parker](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dorothy-parker/)

> [Our schools too often want to shut people up so they can't talk about real solutions. People who think differently tend to clam up…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/benjamin-carson/our-schools-too-often-want-to-shut-people-up-so-they-can-t-talk-about/)

[Benjamin Carson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/benjamin-carson/)

> [This living, this living, this living Was never a project of mine.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dorothy-parker/this-living-this-living-this-living-was-never-a-project-of-mine/)

[Dorothy Parker](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dorothy-parker/)

> [Me and Clams have always kept it organic with the way we work. It's just always the right time. It's never no pressure. He…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lil-b/me-and-clams-have-always-kept-it-organic-with-the-way-we-work-it-s/)

[Lil B](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lil-b/)

> [I froze, shocked. (And don't try to clam that you did anything different the first time a government bureaucrat pulled a gun on you.)](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/brandon-sanderson/i-froze-shocked-and-don-t-try-to-clam-that-you-did-anything-different/)

[Brandon Sanderson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/brandon-sanderson/)

> [I am lucky to be what I am! Thank goodness I'm not just a clam, or a ham, or a dusty jar of sour…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dr-seuss/i-am-lucky-to-be-what-i-am-thank-goodness-i-m-not-just-a-clam-or-a/)

[Dr. Seuss](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dr-seuss/)

> [I make a wicked clam chowdah, and linguine with clam sauce. Oysters I like to eat raw, and mussels in either a white wine…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jim-himes/i-make-a-wicked-clam-chowdah-and-linguine-with-clam-sauce-oysters-i/)

[Jim Himes](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jim-himes/)

> [Clams's music to me is where there's no boundaries. It was just exciting for my mind to be as free as Clams's music is.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lil-b/clams-s-music-to-me-is-where-there-s-no-boundaries-it-was-just/)

[Lil B](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lil-b/)

> [Happy as a clam, is what my mother says for happy. I am happy as a clam: hard-shelled, firmly closed.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/margaret-atwood/happy-as-a-clam-is-what-my-mother-says-for-happy-i-am-happy-as-a-clam/)

[Margaret Atwood](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/margaret-atwood/)

> [“You’ll be taking the last a’ those,” Dorey confided. “I had a vendor try to convince me to shrink-wrap and freeze, but they’re never…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/barbara-delinsky/you-ll-be-taking-the-last-a-those-dorey-confided-i-had-a-vendor-try/)

[Barbara Delinsky](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/barbara-delinsky/)

> [It is a dead heart. It is inside of me. It is a stranger yet once it was agreeable, opening and closing like a…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anne-sexton/it-is-a-dead-heart-it-is-inside-of-me-it-is-a-stranger-yet-once-it/)

[Anne Sexton](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anne-sexton/)

> [My favorite thing is Spaghetti with white clam sauce anywhere on the Amalfi Coast or the Tuscan Coast.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/todd-english/my-favorite-thing-is-spaghetti-with-white-clam-sauce-anywhere-on-the/)

[Todd English](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/todd-english/)

> [Right before when the iMac came out is when most people associate Apple started. That's when people remember Apple - that first iMac or…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/joshua-michael-stern/right-before-when-the-imac-came-out-is-when-most-people-associate/)

[Joshua Michael Stern](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/joshua-michael-stern/)

> [I can joke around and do what I want and be great in my area and play around and be the best, but when…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lil-b/i-can-joke-around-and-do-what-i-want-and-be-great-in-my-area-and-play/)

[Lil B](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lil-b/)

> [But when that smoking chowder came in, the mystery was delightfully explained. Oh! sweet friends, hearken to me. It was made of small juicy…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/herman-melville/but-when-that-smoking-chowder-came-in-the-mystery-was-delightfully/)

[Herman Melville](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/herman-melville/)

Browse all 55 Clams quotes

```json
{
    "@context": "https://schema.org",
    "@graph": [
        {
            "@type": "Quotation",
            "text": "Every woman I've had a relationship with has found this maddening; the fact that I will talk about anything on the stage, and reveal all this stuff, and yet when I'm at home, I clam up and won't discuss anything intimate or personal.",
            "creator": {
                "@type": "Person",
                "name": "Jarvis Cocker"
            },
            "isPartOf": {
                "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website"
            },
            "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jarvis-cocker/every-woman-i-ve-had-a-relationship-with-has-found-this-maddening-the/",
            "about": {
                "@type": "Thing",
                "name": "Clams"
            },
            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jarvis-cocker/every-woman-i-ve-had-a-relationship-with-has-found-this-maddening-the/#quotation",
            "image": {
                "@type": "ImageObject",
                "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/f28/jarvis-cocker-4176_clams_every-woman-i-ve-had-a-relationship-with_1397785.png",
                "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/f28/jarvis-cocker-4176_clams_every-woman-i-ve-had-a-relationship-with_1397785.png",
                "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/f28/jarvis-cocker-4176_clams_every-woman-i-ve-had-a-relationship-with_1397785.png",
                "width": 1080,
                "height": 1080,
                "caption": "“Every woman I've had a relationship with has found this maddening; the fact that I will talk about anything…” — Jarvis Cocker",
                "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes",
                "creator": {
                    "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization"
                }
            }
        },
        {
            "@type": "BreadcrumbList",
            "itemListElement": [
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 1,
                    "name": "Home",
                    "item": "https://sms4smile.com/"
                },
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 2,
                    "name": "Quotes",
                    "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/"
                },
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 3,
                    "name": "Jarvis Cocker",
                    "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jarvis-cocker/"
                },
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 4,
                    "name": "Every woman I've had a relationship...",
                    "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jarvis-cocker/every-woman-i-ve-had-a-relationship-with-has-found-this-maddening-the/"
                }
            ],
            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jarvis-cocker/every-woman-i-ve-had-a-relationship-with-has-found-this-maddening-the/#breadcrumb"
        },
        {
            "@type": "WebSite",
            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website",
            "name": "SMS4Smile Quotes",
            "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/",
            "publisher": {
                "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization"
            }
        },
        {
            "@type": "Organization",
            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization",
            "name": "SMS4Smile Quotes",
            "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/",
            "logo": {
                "@type": "ImageObject",
                "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wp-content/themes/sq/assets/icons/icon-512.png",
                "width": 512,
                "height": 512
            }
        }
    ]
}
```
