--- title: "Meaning & Key Takeaway of: Ma’am, my hand hurts. May I massage it on…" description: "\"“Ma’am, my hand hurts. May I massage it on your buttocks?”\" — Jarod Kintz" image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/1e8/jarod-kintz-2_buttocks_ma-am-my-hand-hurts-may-i-massage-it-on_2349420.jpg" --- # Ma’am, my hand hurts. May I massage it on your buttocks? ![“Ma’am, my hand hurts. May I massage it on your buttocks?” quote by Jarod Kintz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/1e8/jarod-kintz-2_buttocks_ma-am-my-hand-hurts-may-i-massage-it-on_2349420.jpg) [Download](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/1e8/jarod-kintz-2_buttocks_ma-am-my-hand-hurts-may-i-massage-it-on_2349420.jpg) [Open image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/1e8/jarod-kintz-2_buttocks_ma-am-my-hand-hurts-may-i-massage-it-on_2349420.jpg) > ““Ma’am, my hand hurts. May I massage it on your buttocks?”” [Jarod Kintz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jarod-kintz/) ## About This Quote This interpretation was drafted with AI assistance. It is one reading of the quote, not the author's own explanation. A provocative, humorous request that blends discomfort with absurdity. **In simple terms:** A joke about an odd massage request. Key Takeaway Recognize boundaries and context in humor. Themes humor boundaries social norms absurdity Mood playful edgy Type satirical cautionary When to use this quote - stand‑up routines - office culture - social media - improv - teaching consent Key Concepts interpersonal dynamics professional etiquette comedy writing Questions to Reflect On - When does humor cross the line? - How can you gauge audience comfort? A Different Perspective The line may be seen as inappropriate or offensive. ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ No ratings yet [Massage](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/massage/) ## Related quotes > [“Lay your head on my shoulder and massage my buttocks while you cry.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jarod-kintz/lay-your-head-on-my-shoulder-and-massage-my-buttocks-while-you-cry/) [Jarod Kintz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jarod-kintz/) > [“I shouldn’t have hit him.” She flexed her fingers. “My hand still hurts.” Chris smiled. “Oh, no, I loved that part.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/brigid-kemmerer/i-shouldn-t-have-hit-him-she-flexed-her-fingers-my-hand-still-hurts/) [Brigid Kemmerer](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/brigid-kemmerer/) > [I sign so many autographs, my hand hurts every day.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/uljana-semjonova/i-sign-so-many-autographs-my-hand-hurts-every-day/) Uljana Semjonova > [“I tattooed my name on my buttocks, so you’d know what an ass I am. Also so either me or my clone could claim…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jarod-kintz/i-tattooed-my-name-on-my-buttocks-so-you-d-know-what-an-ass-i-am-also/) [Jarod Kintz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jarod-kintz/) > [“There is a hole in my buttocks. I’d like to return it, or at the very least exchange it for a new one.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jarod-kintz/there-is-a-hole-in-my-buttocks-i-d-like-to-return-it-or-at-the-very/) [Jarod Kintz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jarod-kintz/) > [“A brick could be shoved in your buttocks. You know, for your enjoyment. ”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jarod-kintz/a-brick-could-be-shoved-in-your-buttocks-you-know-for-your-enjoyment/) [Jarod Kintz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jarod-kintz/) > [“If my nipples were restart buttons, I’d let you play with my buttocks.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jarod-kintz/if-my-nipples-were-restart-buttons-i-d-let-you-play-with-my-buttocks/) [Jarod Kintz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jarod-kintz/) > [“I was driving on the highway and saw an orange sign on the side of the road that said, “Shoulder Work,” and I thought,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jarod-kintz/i-was-driving-on-the-highway-and-saw-an-orange-sign-on-the-side-of/) [Jarod Kintz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jarod-kintz/) > [“Security shouldn’t enforce, they should massage situations, without laying a hand on a guest.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jarod-kintz/security-shouldn-t-enforce-they-should-massage-situations-without/) [Jarod Kintz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jarod-kintz/) > [A woman’s beauty lies, not in any exaggeration of the specialized zones, nor in any general harmony that could be worked out by means…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-updike/a-woman-s-beauty-lies-not-in-any-exaggeration-of-the-specialized/) [John Updike](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-updike/) > [I think a good way to get into a movie is to show up where they're making the movie, then stick a big cactus…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jack-handey/i-think-a-good-way-to-get-into-a-movie-is-to-show-up-where-they-re/) [Jack Handey](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jack-handey/) > [Read non-fiction. History, biology, entomology, mineralogy, paleontology. Get a bodyguard and do fieldwork. Find your inner fish. Don't publish too soon. Not before you…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/marlene-van-niekerk/read-non-fiction-history-biology-entomology-mineralogy-paleontology/) [Marlene van Niekerk](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/marlene-van-niekerk/) > [She Knows three things: (a) that men are less treacherous than women; (b) that they never notice what a woman is wearing because they're…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/paulo-coelho/she-knows-three-things-a-that-men-are-less-treacherous-than-women-b/) [Paulo Coelho](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/paulo-coelho/) > [Ah well... wand still in your jeans? Both buttocks still on? Okay, let’s go.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/ah-well-wand-still-in-your-jeans-both-buttocks-still-on-okay-let-s-go/) [Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/) > [Like a barber's chair that fits all buttocks.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/william-shakespeare/like-a-barber-s-chair-that-fits-all-buttocks/) [William Shakespeare](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/william-shakespeare/) ## More by Jarod Kintz > [“I notice when you’re gone. Or do I? How can I observe something that isn’t there?”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jarod-kintz/i-notice-when-you-re-gone-or-do-i-how-can-i-observe-something-that/) [Jarod Kintz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jarod-kintz/) > [“I wouldn’t love you if you were the last Sodomite in Gomorrah.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jarod-kintz/i-wouldn-t-love-you-if-you-were-the-last-sodomite-in-gomorrah/) [Jarod Kintz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jarod-kintz/) > [“A blanket could be used to make sweet, sweet music with the love of your life. Hopefully that person is me, because I’ve been…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jarod-kintz/a-blanket-could-be-used-to-make-sweet-sweet-music-with-the-love-of/) [Jarod Kintz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jarod-kintz/) > [“A brick could be used to slow down time. Sort of like a camel in a wheelchair pushed by a thirsty Arab. Hey, Khalid,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jarod-kintz/a-brick-could-be-used-to-slow-down-time-sort-of-like-a-camel-in-a/) [Jarod Kintz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jarod-kintz/) > [“We have a love so pure that it makes snow seem yellow. (Don’t eat it!)”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jarod-kintz/we-have-a-love-so-pure-that-it-makes-snow-seem-yellow-don-t-eat-it/) [Jarod Kintz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jarod-kintz/) > [“I hid Mrs. Frozenwater’s body in the ice cube trays in my freezer. Better to keep her there than let her memory thaw out…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jarod-kintz/i-hid-mrs-frozenwater-s-body-in-the-ice-cube-trays-in-my-freezer/) [Jarod Kintz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jarod-kintz/) > [“Two similar words might lead to two similar ideas. They might also lead to the basement, which I recently converted into a dungeon/torture chamber.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jarod-kintz/two-similar-words-might-lead-to-two-similar-ideas-they-might-also/) [Jarod Kintz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jarod-kintz/) > [“Nothing is and isn’t; nothing is and isn’t—nothing itself is, and at the same time, nothing isn’t.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jarod-kintz/nothing-is-and-isn-t-nothing-is-and-isn-t-nothing-itself-is-and-at/) [Jarod Kintz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jarod-kintz/) > [“Embossed letters represent the topography of typography.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jarod-kintz/embossed-letters-represent-the-topography-of-typography/) [Jarod Kintz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jarod-kintz/) > [“There’s only one piece of clothing I could eat fast, and that’s a scarf.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jarod-kintz/there-s-only-one-piece-of-clothing-i-could-eat-fast-and-that-s-a-scarf/) [Jarod Kintz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jarod-kintz/) > [“Dora J. Arod is to Jarod Ora, as yes is to yes. Yes is also the correct answer to “Will you marry me?” Other…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jarod-kintz/dora-j-arod-is-to-jarod-ora-as-yes-is-to-yes-yes-is-also-the-correct/) [Jarod Kintz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jarod-kintz/) > [“The best part about being kidnapped is being blindfolded and getting kicked into the trunk of a car. Boy, normally I have to beg…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jarod-kintz/the-best-part-about-being-kidnapped-is-being-blindfolded-and-getting/) [Jarod Kintz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jarod-kintz/) > [“Orafoura once told me that if I were a car, I’d be a Ferrari. One that was scratched smashed, rusted, and stolen.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jarod-kintz/orafoura-once-told-me-that-if-i-were-a-car-i-d-be-a-ferrari-one-that/) [Jarod Kintz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jarod-kintz/) > [“What makes a good leader? I ask myself this every day, and then as I begin to list off characteristics I realize I’m describing…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jarod-kintz/what-makes-a-good-leader-i-ask-myself-this-every-day-and-then-as-i/) [Jarod Kintz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jarod-kintz/) > [“I’d like to file a missing person’s report—on my clone. It’s nearly 2012. He should have been here by now.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jarod-kintz/i-d-like-to-file-a-missing-person-s-report-on-my-clone-it-s-nearly/) [Jarod Kintz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jarod-kintz/) [Explore all 6,921 Jarod Kintz quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jarod-kintz/) ## More Buttocks quotes > [Like a barber's chair that fits all buttocks.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/william-shakespeare/like-a-barber-s-chair-that-fits-all-buttocks/) [William Shakespeare](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/william-shakespeare/) > [A woman’s beauty lies, not in any exaggeration of the specialized zones, nor in any general harmony that could be worked out by means…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-updike/a-woman-s-beauty-lies-not-in-any-exaggeration-of-the-specialized/) [John Updike](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-updike/) > [Read non-fiction. History, biology, entomology, mineralogy, paleontology. Get a bodyguard and do fieldwork. Find your inner fish. Don't publish too soon. Not before you…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/marlene-van-niekerk/read-non-fiction-history-biology-entomology-mineralogy-paleontology/) [Marlene van Niekerk](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/marlene-van-niekerk/) > [I think a good way to get into a movie is to show up where they're making the movie, then stick a big cactus…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jack-handey/i-think-a-good-way-to-get-into-a-movie-is-to-show-up-where-they-re/) [Jack Handey](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jack-handey/) > [Ah well... wand still in your jeans? Both buttocks still on? Okay, let’s go.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/ah-well-wand-still-in-your-jeans-both-buttocks-still-on-okay-let-s-go/) [Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/) > [She Knows three things: (a) that men are less treacherous than women; (b) that they never notice what a woman is wearing because they're…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/paulo-coelho/she-knows-three-things-a-that-men-are-less-treacherous-than-women-b/) [Paulo Coelho](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/paulo-coelho/) > [“It makes your buttocks ache walking on flat ground all the time.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/linda-proud/it-makes-your-buttocks-ache-walking-on-flat-ground-all-the-time/) Linda Proud > [“For the fighter pilots of the First World War, buttocks had been an important sensory tool. Pilots felt they lost something when, in 1927,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/patrick-bishop/for-the-fighter-pilots-of-the-first-world-war-buttocks-had-been-an/) Patrick Bishop > [Kim Kardashian buttocks are very popular. However, that's dangerous as it can be fatal if done badly.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/paul-nassif/kim-kardashian-buttocks-are-very-popular-however-that-s-dangerous-as/) [Paul Nassif](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/paul-nassif/) > [The majority of persons choose their wives with as little prudence as they eat. They see a troll with nothing else to recommend her…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/edward-dahlberg/the-majority-of-persons-choose-their-wives-with-as-little-prudence-as/) [Edward Dahlberg](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/edward-dahlberg/) > [An audience proves its discipline by its capacity for stillness. Those who have never practiced continuous application to an exacting process cannot settle down…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/rebecca-west/an-audience-proves-its-discipline-by-its-capacity-for-stillness-those/) [Rebecca West](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/rebecca-west/) > [You're as white as a nun's buttock. Are you all right?](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/carlos-ruiz-zafon/you-re-as-white-as-a-nun-s-buttock-are-you-all-right/) [Carlos Ruiz Zafon](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/carlos-ruiz-zafon/) > [“I must do whatever I can to find the best partners possible." "Did you kick their butts?" He frowned. "The buttocks are among the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/allison-van-diepen/i-must-do-whatever-i-can-to-find-the-best-partners-possible-did-you/) [Allison van Diepen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/allison-van-diepen/) > [I feel very very old. My hair hurts. I have buttocks all over my body and I can't even smoke properly any more. I…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dylan-moran/i-feel-very-very-old-my-hair-hurts-i-have-buttocks-all-over-my-body/) [Dylan Moran](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dylan-moran/) > [Everyone detected with AIDS should be tattooed in the upper forearm, to protect common needle users, and on the buttock, to prevent the victimization…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/william-f-buckley-jr/everyone-detected-with-aids-should-be-tattooed-in-the-upper-forearm/) [William F. Buckley, Jr](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/william-f-buckley-jr/) Browse all 61 Buttocks quotes ```json { "@context": "https://schema.org", "@graph": [ { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "“Ma’am, my hand hurts. May I massage it on your buttocks?”", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Jarod Kintz" }, "isPartOf": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jarod-kintz/ma-am-my-hand-hurts-may-i-massage-it-on-your-buttocks/", "about": { "@type": "Thing", "name": "Buttocks" }, "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jarod-kintz/ma-am-my-hand-hurts-may-i-massage-it-on-your-buttocks/#quotation", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/1e8/jarod-kintz-2_buttocks_ma-am-my-hand-hurts-may-i-massage-it-on_2349420.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/1e8/jarod-kintz-2_buttocks_ma-am-my-hand-hurts-may-i-massage-it-on_2349420.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/1e8/jarod-kintz-2_buttocks_ma-am-my-hand-hurts-may-i-massage-it-on_2349420.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“Ma’am, my hand hurts. May I massage it on your buttocks?” — Jarod Kintz", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } }, { "@type": "BreadcrumbList", "itemListElement": [ { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 1, "name": "Home", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/" }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 2, "name": "Quotes", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/" }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 3, "name": "Jarod Kintz", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jarod-kintz/" }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 4, "name": "“Ma’am, my hand hurts. May I...", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jarod-kintz/ma-am-my-hand-hurts-may-i-massage-it-on-your-buttocks/" } ], "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jarod-kintz/ma-am-my-hand-hurts-may-i-massage-it-on-your-buttocks/#breadcrumb" }, { "@type": "WebSite", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website", "name": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/", "publisher": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } }, { "@type": "Organization", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization", "name": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/", "logo": { "@type": "ImageObject", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wp-content/themes/sq/assets/icons/icon-512.png", "width": 512, "height": 512 } } ] } ```