---
title: "Meaning & Key Takeaway of: If I shake your hand, will I get my…"
description: "\"“If I shake your hand, will I get my fingerprints all over your fingertips? I hope not. Otherwise the crime scene, and the shaft of my penis, is riddle..."
image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/61b/jarod-kintz-2_fingerprints_if-i-shake-your-hand-will-i-get-my-finge_763299.jpg"
---

#  If I shake your hand, will I get my fingerprints all over…

![“If I shake your hand, will I get my fingerprints all over your fingertips? I hope not. Otherwise the crime scene, and the shaft of my penis, is riddled with my fingerprints.” quote by Jarod Kintz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/61b/jarod-kintz-2_fingerprints_if-i-shake-your-hand-will-i-get-my-finge_763299.jpg)   [Download](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/61b/jarod-kintz-2_fingerprints_if-i-shake-your-hand-will-i-get-my-finge_763299.jpg) [Open image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/61b/jarod-kintz-2_fingerprints_if-i-shake-your-hand-will-i-get-my-finge_763299.jpg)

> ““If I shake your hand, will I get my fingerprints all over your fingertips? I hope not. Otherwise the crime scene, and the shaft of my penis, is riddled with my fingerprints.””

[Jarod Kintz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jarod-kintz/)

## About This Quote

This interpretation was drafted with AI assistance. It is one reading of the quote, not the author's own explanation.

A humorous warning about leaving personal evidence at a crime scene, using a literal and absurd scenario to highlight caution about physical contact

**In simple terms:** Be careful about leaving traces on others

Key Takeaway

Avoid careless contact that could cause trouble

Themes

humor crime personal boundaries

Mood

playful irreverent

Type

anecdotal comedic

When to use this quote

- social interactions
- legal situations
- personal hygiene
- crime scene investigation

Key Concepts

social etiquette risk of evidence absurdity

Questions to Reflect On

- How do you balance humor with seriousness?
- When is it appropriate to use absurdity to make a point?

A Different Perspective

The joke relies on shock value and may not translate well without context

★ ★ ★ ★ ★   No ratings yet

[Fingerprints](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/fingerprints/)

## Related quotes

> [“If I shake your hand, and then jack off, it’s as if you gave me an indirect handjob. ”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jarod-kintz/if-i-shake-your-hand-and-then-jack-off-it-s-as-if-you-gave-me-an/)

[Jarod Kintz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jarod-kintz/)

> [“Just because I wear a size 14 shoe does not mean I’ll take it off when I go to shake your hand.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jarod-kintz/just-because-i-wear-a-size-14-shoe-does-not-mean-i-ll-take-it-off/)

[Jarod Kintz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jarod-kintz/)

> [Shake my hand respect, Shake a girl get loose respect, Shake a baby fuck respect, get your ass fucked up !!!](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kevin-mccarty/shake-my-hand-respect-shake-a-girl-get-loose-respect-shake-a-baby/)

[Kevin Mccarty](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kevin-mccarty/)

> [Weezy I'm just out here reppin' us, till I get to shake the hand of the man that's blessin' us.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/drake/weezy-i-m-just-out-here-reppin-us-till-i-get-to-shake-the-hand-of-the/)

[Drake](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/drake/)

> [Even at church, people would not shake my hand.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ryan-white/even-at-church-people-would-not-shake-my-hand/)

[Ryan White](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ryan-white/)

> [Dont give a shit what people talk about fam haters shake my hand but I keep the sanitizer on deck.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kid-cudi/dont-give-a-shit-what-people-talk-about-fam-haters-shake-my-hand-but/)

[Kid Cudi](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kid-cudi/)

> [If you ever meet the man who could take advantage of Isabelle, you’ll have to let me know. I’d like to shake his hand.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/cassandra-clare/if-you-ever-meet-the-man-who-could-take-advantage-of-isabelle-you-ll/)

[Cassandra Clare](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/cassandra-clare/)

> [If you shake your fist, the other guy will shake his too. But if you extend your hand to shake their hand, then they…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ricardo-montalban/if-you-shake-your-fist-the-other-guy-will-shake-his-too-but-if-you/)

[Ricardo Montalban](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ricardo-montalban/)

> [Microthreats are hardly confined to the wilderness. From the common cold to the Ebola virus, various nasties could be waiting to pounce on you…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/steven-rinella/microthreats-are-hardly-confined-to-the-wilderness-from-the-common/)

[Steven Rinella](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/steven-rinella/)

> [Sometimes, we are let down by a frustrated person and loved by the most unexpected ones. Some leaves us when we need them the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jhoni-czhang/sometimes-we-are-let-down-by-a-frustrated-person-and-loved-by-the/)

[JHONI (Czhang](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jhoni-czhang/)

> [I come from a place where when you shake someone's hand, it is a deal.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/troy-carter/i-come-from-a-place-where-when-you-shake-someone-s-hand-it-is-a-deal/)

[Troy Carter](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/troy-carter/)

> [A lot of people who have come up to me at restaurants - men - and have said, 'I want to shake your hand,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gretchen-carlson/a-lot-of-people-who-have-come-up-to-me-at-restaurants-men-and-have/)

[Gretchen Carlson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/gretchen-carlson/)

> [“Research by the Income Center for Tradeshows found that people are twice as likely to remember you if you shake hands. According to the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/susan-c-young/research-by-the-income-center-for-tradeshows-found-that-people-are/)

[Susan C. Young](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/susan-c-young/)

> [Last good pratfall I did, I broke bones in both hands. I still feel it when people shake my hand.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/chevy-chase/last-good-pratfall-i-did-i-broke-bones-in-both-hands-i-still-feel-it/)

[Chevy Chase](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/chevy-chase/)

> [Guys are OK... shake their hand... Women are special. You can hug 'em.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bon-scott/guys-are-ok-shake-their-hand-women-are-special-you-can-hug-em/)

[Bon Scott](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bon-scott/)

## More by Jarod Kintz

> [“I notice when you’re gone. Or do I? How can I observe something that isn’t there?”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jarod-kintz/i-notice-when-you-re-gone-or-do-i-how-can-i-observe-something-that/)

[Jarod Kintz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jarod-kintz/)

> [“I wouldn’t love you if you were the last Sodomite in Gomorrah.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jarod-kintz/i-wouldn-t-love-you-if-you-were-the-last-sodomite-in-gomorrah/)

[Jarod Kintz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jarod-kintz/)

> [“A blanket could be used to make sweet, sweet music with the love of your life. Hopefully that person is me, because I’ve been…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jarod-kintz/a-blanket-could-be-used-to-make-sweet-sweet-music-with-the-love-of/)

[Jarod Kintz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jarod-kintz/)

> [“A brick could be used to slow down time. Sort of like a camel in a wheelchair pushed by a thirsty Arab. Hey, Khalid,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jarod-kintz/a-brick-could-be-used-to-slow-down-time-sort-of-like-a-camel-in-a/)

[Jarod Kintz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jarod-kintz/)

> [“We have a love so pure that it makes snow seem yellow. (Don’t eat it!)”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jarod-kintz/we-have-a-love-so-pure-that-it-makes-snow-seem-yellow-don-t-eat-it/)

[Jarod Kintz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jarod-kintz/)

> [“I hid Mrs. Frozenwater’s body in the ice cube trays in my freezer. Better to keep her there than let her memory thaw out…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jarod-kintz/i-hid-mrs-frozenwater-s-body-in-the-ice-cube-trays-in-my-freezer/)

[Jarod Kintz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jarod-kintz/)

> [“Two similar words might lead to two similar ideas. They might also lead to the basement, which I recently converted into a dungeon/torture chamber.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jarod-kintz/two-similar-words-might-lead-to-two-similar-ideas-they-might-also/)

[Jarod Kintz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jarod-kintz/)

> [“Nothing is and isn’t; nothing is and isn’t—nothing itself is, and at the same time, nothing isn’t.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jarod-kintz/nothing-is-and-isn-t-nothing-is-and-isn-t-nothing-itself-is-and-at/)

[Jarod Kintz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jarod-kintz/)

> [“Embossed letters represent the topography of typography.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jarod-kintz/embossed-letters-represent-the-topography-of-typography/)

[Jarod Kintz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jarod-kintz/)

> [“There’s only one piece of clothing I could eat fast, and that’s a scarf.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jarod-kintz/there-s-only-one-piece-of-clothing-i-could-eat-fast-and-that-s-a-scarf/)

[Jarod Kintz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jarod-kintz/)

> [“Dora J. Arod is to Jarod Ora, as yes is to yes. Yes is also the correct answer to “Will you marry me?” Other…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jarod-kintz/dora-j-arod-is-to-jarod-ora-as-yes-is-to-yes-yes-is-also-the-correct/)

[Jarod Kintz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jarod-kintz/)

> [“The best part about being kidnapped is being blindfolded and getting kicked into the trunk of a car. Boy, normally I have to beg…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jarod-kintz/the-best-part-about-being-kidnapped-is-being-blindfolded-and-getting/)

[Jarod Kintz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jarod-kintz/)

> [“Orafoura once told me that if I were a car, I’d be a Ferrari. One that was scratched smashed, rusted, and stolen.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jarod-kintz/orafoura-once-told-me-that-if-i-were-a-car-i-d-be-a-ferrari-one-that/)

[Jarod Kintz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jarod-kintz/)

> [“What makes a good leader? I ask myself this every day, and then as I begin to list off characteristics I realize I’m describing…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jarod-kintz/what-makes-a-good-leader-i-ask-myself-this-every-day-and-then-as-i/)

[Jarod Kintz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jarod-kintz/)

> [“I’d like to file a missing person’s report—on my clone. It’s nearly 2012. He should have been here by now.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jarod-kintz/i-d-like-to-file-a-missing-person-s-report-on-my-clone-it-s-nearly/)

[Jarod Kintz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jarod-kintz/)

[Explore all 6,921 Jarod Kintz quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jarod-kintz/)

## More Fingerprints quotes

> [If you look back at my story, it doesn’t matter where you look, but God’s fingerprints are all over the place.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jeremy-lin/if-you-look-back-at-my-story-it-doesn-t-matter-where-you-look-but-god/)

[Jeremy Lin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jeremy-lin/)

> [“Your fingerprints never fade from the people you touch”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/b-l-hewitt/your-fingerprints-never-fade-from-the-people-you-touch/)

B.L. Hewitt

> [Like fingerprints, everyone's tongue print is different.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/shazo/like-fingerprints-everyone-s-tongue-print-is-different/)

SHAZO

> [I've always felt there were aspects of me that were monstrous, and you can either hide from it or confront it, embrace it and…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ron-perlman/i-ve-always-felt-there-were-aspects-of-me-that-were-monstrous-and-you/)

[Ron Perlman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ron-perlman/)

> [Little by little, writers develop their own styles, each as unique as a fingerprint.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/stephen-king/little-by-little-writers-develop-their-own-styles-each-as-unique-as-a/)

[Stephen King](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/stephen-king/)

> [Ghosts cannot be put on the witness stand, or have their fingerprints taken. They are completely proof against proof.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ariana-franklin/ghosts-cannot-be-put-on-the-witness-stand-or-have-their-fingerprints/)

[Ariana Franklin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ariana-franklin/)

> [There isn't a right way to become educated; there are as many ways as there are fingerprints.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-taylor-gatto/there-isn-t-a-right-way-to-become-educated-there-are-as-many-ways-as/)

[John Taylor Gatto](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-taylor-gatto/)

> [I believe that each young person is different from any other who has ever lived, as different as his fingerprints: that he could bring…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/edwin-land/i-believe-that-each-young-person-is-different-from-any-other-who-has/)

[Edwin Land](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/edwin-land/)

> [Photos are profound because they have such short lives. They are more like fingerprints, dead leaves, rain puddles, or the corpses of flies.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/tom-waits/photos-are-profound-because-they-have-such-short-lives-they-are-more/)

[Tom Waits](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/tom-waits/)

> [...the reading, the observing, the living from day to day. It was something that had been born into her and her only - the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/betty-smith/the-reading-the-observing-the-living-from-day-to-day-it-was-something/)

[Betty Smith](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/betty-smith/)

> [In my photographic work I'm generally attracted to places that contain memories, history, atmospheres and stories. I'm interested in the places where people have…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/michael-kenna/in-my-photographic-work-i-m-generally-attracted-to-places-that/)

[Michael Kenna](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/michael-kenna/)

> [Why did you leave? (Aiden) I took care of the person harassing him. Threat gone. Job eliminated. Anything else you want to know? Dental…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sherrilyn-kenyon/why-did-you-leave-aiden-i-took-care-of-the-person-harassing-him/)

[Sherrilyn Kenyon](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sherrilyn-kenyon/)

> [At some point, you realize you can't provide a perfectly monolithic description of a foreign culture's future any more than you can provide a…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/paolo-bacigalupi/at-some-point-you-realize-you-can-t-provide-a-perfectly-monolithic/)

[Paolo Bacigalupi](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/paolo-bacigalupi/)

> [Tonight, I feel like my whole body is made out of memories. I'm a mix-tape, a cassette that's been rewound so many times you…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/rob-sheffield/tonight-i-feel-like-my-whole-body-is-made-out-of-memories-i-m-a-mix/)

[Rob Sheffield](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/rob-sheffield/)

> [No one's fingerprints are exactly the same as anyone else's.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/virginia-satir/no-one-s-fingerprints-are-exactly-the-same-as-anyone-else-s/)

[Virginia Satir](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/virginia-satir/)

[Browse all 163 Fingerprints quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/fingerprints/)

```json
{
    "@context": "https://schema.org",
    "@graph": [
        {
            "@type": "Quotation",
            "text": "“If I shake your hand, will I get my fingerprints all over your fingertips? I hope not. Otherwise the crime scene, and the shaft of my penis, is riddled with my fingerprints.”",
            "creator": {
                "@type": "Person",
                "name": "Jarod Kintz"
            },
            "isPartOf": {
                "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website"
            },
            "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jarod-kintz/if-i-shake-your-hand-will-i-get-my-fingerprints-all-over-your/",
            "about": {
                "@type": "Thing",
                "name": "Fingerprints"
            },
            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jarod-kintz/if-i-shake-your-hand-will-i-get-my-fingerprints-all-over-your/#quotation",
            "image": {
                "@type": "ImageObject",
                "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/61b/jarod-kintz-2_fingerprints_if-i-shake-your-hand-will-i-get-my-finge_763299.jpg",
                "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/61b/jarod-kintz-2_fingerprints_if-i-shake-your-hand-will-i-get-my-finge_763299.jpg",
                "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/61b/jarod-kintz-2_fingerprints_if-i-shake-your-hand-will-i-get-my-finge_763299.jpg",
                "width": 1080,
                "height": 1080,
                "caption": "“If I shake your hand, will I get my fingerprints all over your fingertips? I hope not. Otherwise the crime…” — Jarod Kintz",
                "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes",
                "creator": {
                    "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization"
                }
            }
        },
        {
            "@type": "BreadcrumbList",
            "itemListElement": [
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 1,
                    "name": "Home",
                    "item": "https://sms4smile.com/"
                },
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 2,
                    "name": "Quotes",
                    "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/"
                },
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 3,
                    "name": "Jarod Kintz",
                    "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jarod-kintz/"
                },
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 4,
                    "name": "“If I shake your hand, will...",
                    "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jarod-kintz/if-i-shake-your-hand-will-i-get-my-fingerprints-all-over-your/"
                }
            ],
            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jarod-kintz/if-i-shake-your-hand-will-i-get-my-fingerprints-all-over-your/#breadcrumb"
        },
        {
            "@type": "WebSite",
            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website",
            "name": "SMS4Smile Quotes",
            "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/",
            "publisher": {
                "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization"
            }
        },
        {
            "@type": "Organization",
            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization",
            "name": "SMS4Smile Quotes",
            "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/",
            "logo": {
                "@type": "ImageObject",
                "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wp-content/themes/sq/assets/icons/icon-512.png",
                "width": 512,
                "height": 512
            }
        }
    ]
}
```
