--- title: "Meaning & Key Takeaway of: I’ve shortened this sentence’s length, in…" description: "\"“I’ve shortened this sentence’s length, in order to reduce the need for it. I’ve also shortened my penis (as impossible as that sounds), in order to re..." image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/d58/jarod-kintz-2_quote_i-ve-shortened-this-sentence-s-length-in_901119.jpg" --- # I’ve shortened this sentence’s length, in order to reduce… ![“I’ve shortened this sentence’s length, in order to reduce the need for it. I’ve also shortened my penis (as impossible as that sounds), in order to reduce your reliance on it. Please accept my condolences, and this vibrating piece of rubber.” quote by Jarod Kintz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/d58/jarod-kintz-2_quote_i-ve-shortened-this-sentence-s-length-in_901119.jpg) [Download](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/d58/jarod-kintz-2_quote_i-ve-shortened-this-sentence-s-length-in_901119.jpg) [Open image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/d58/jarod-kintz-2_quote_i-ve-shortened-this-sentence-s-length-in_901119.jpg) > ““I’ve shortened this sentence’s length, in order to reduce the need for it. I’ve also shortened my penis (as impossible as that sounds), in order to reduce your reliance on it. Please accept my condolences, and this vibrating piece of rubber.”” [Jarod Kintz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jarod-kintz/) ## About This Quote This interpretation was drafted with AI assistance. It is one reading of the quote, not the author's own explanation. The speaker uses absurd humor to emphasize reducing dependence on external aids and to mock expectations. **In simple terms:** Humor used to critique reliance on tools. Key Takeaway Question expectations and embrace self‑reliance. Themes humor self‑reliance mockery Mood playful irreverent Type satirical comedic When to use this quote - personal branding - public speaking - media interviews Key Concepts Absurdism satire Questions to Reflect On - How does humor affect your message? - When is satire effective? A Different Perspective The joke may alienate or confuse audiences. ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ No ratings yet [Shortened](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/shortened/) ## Related quotes > [This sentence has five words. Here are five more words. Five-word sentences are fine. But several together become monotonous. Listen to what is happening.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gary-provost/this-sentence-has-five-words-here-are-five-more-words-five-word/) Gary Provost > [“Merely reducing sentence length, by itself, does not disturb the basic architecture of the New Jim Crow. So long as large numbers of African…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/michelle-alexander/merely-reducing-sentence-length-by-itself-does-not-disturb-the-basic/) [Michelle Alexander](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/michelle-alexander/) > [“In your sermon manuscript short sentences keep your thoughts from tangling and therefore are easier for you to remember. When you deliver your sermon,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/haddon-w-robinson/in-your-sermon-manuscript-short-sentences-keep-your-thoughts-from/) [Haddon W. Robinson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/haddon-w-robinson/) > [Maximum sentence length: seventeen words. Minimum:one No semicolons. Semicolons indicate relationships that only idiots need defined by punctuation. Besides, they are ugly. Make sure…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/richard-hugo/maximum-sentence-length-seventeen-words-minimum-one-no-semicolons/) [Richard Hugo](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/richard-hugo/) > [“Life is short, though I keep this from my children. Life is short, and I’ve shortened mine in a thousand delicious, ill-advised ways, a…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/maggie-smith/life-is-short-though-i-keep-this-from-my-children-life-is-short-and-i/) [Maggie Smith](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/maggie-smith/) > [Work divided is in that manner shortened.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/martial/work-divided-is-in-that-manner-shortened/) [Martial](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/martial/) > [“Little Dick’ or ‘Big Dick’ depends on how tall Richard is.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/steven-magee/little-dick-or-big-dick-depends-on-how-tall-richard-is/) [Steven Magee](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/steven-magee/) > [“I married Miss Right, but didn't know at the time she had shortened her name from Righteouspainintheass”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/josh-stern/i-married-miss-right-but-didn-t-know-at-the-time-she-had-shortened/) [Josh Stern](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/josh-stern/) > [Black Court vampires. I just shortened it some." Ebenezar tsked. "Blampires. That's the problem with you young people. Shortening all the words.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jim-butcher/black-court-vampires-i-just-shortened-it-some-ebenezar-tsked/) [Jim Butcher](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jim-butcher/) > [“And by habit they shortened their thoughts so that they would not wander out into the darkness beyond tomorrow.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/carson-mccullers/and-by-habit-they-shortened-their-thoughts-so-that-they-would-not/) [Carson McCullers](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/carson-mccullers/) > [I'm coming out with my line of shoes and my very first shoe is called 'The Nethia.' How we came up with the name…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nene-leakes/i-m-coming-out-with-my-line-of-shoes-and-my-very-first-shoe-is-called/) [NeNe Leakes](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nene-leakes/) > [My sister married an American and took his name, and my brother has shortened Sayrafiezadeh to Sayraf. So now he's Jacob Sayraf, or sometimes…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/said-sayrafiezadeh/my-sister-married-an-american-and-took-his-name-and-my-brother-has/) [Said Sayrafiezadeh](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/said-sayrafiezadeh/) > [The World Wide Web is the only thing I know of whose shortened form takes three times longer to say than what it's short…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/douglas-adams/the-world-wide-web-is-the-only-thing-i-know-of-whose-shortened-form/) [Douglas Adams](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/douglas-adams/) > [Meek Mill - my homies used to call me 'Meek Millions,' and at the time I didn't have no millions, so I ain't really…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/meek-mill/meek-mill-my-homies-used-to-call-me-meek-millions-and-at-the-time-i/) [Meek Mill](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/meek-mill/) > [I was looking for a name with an old English sound, very easy to pronounce in every language and easy to remember. At the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/diego-della-valle/i-was-looking-for-a-name-with-an-old-english-sound-very-easy-to/) [Diego Della Valle](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/diego-della-valle/) ## More by Jarod Kintz > [“I notice when you’re gone. Or do I? How can I observe something that isn’t there?”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jarod-kintz/i-notice-when-you-re-gone-or-do-i-how-can-i-observe-something-that/) [Jarod Kintz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jarod-kintz/) > [“I wouldn’t love you if you were the last Sodomite in Gomorrah.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jarod-kintz/i-wouldn-t-love-you-if-you-were-the-last-sodomite-in-gomorrah/) [Jarod Kintz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jarod-kintz/) > [“A blanket could be used to make sweet, sweet music with the love of your life. Hopefully that person is me, because I’ve been…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jarod-kintz/a-blanket-could-be-used-to-make-sweet-sweet-music-with-the-love-of/) [Jarod Kintz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jarod-kintz/) > [“A brick could be used to slow down time. Sort of like a camel in a wheelchair pushed by a thirsty Arab. Hey, Khalid,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jarod-kintz/a-brick-could-be-used-to-slow-down-time-sort-of-like-a-camel-in-a/) [Jarod Kintz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jarod-kintz/) > [“We have a love so pure that it makes snow seem yellow. (Don’t eat it!)”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jarod-kintz/we-have-a-love-so-pure-that-it-makes-snow-seem-yellow-don-t-eat-it/) [Jarod Kintz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jarod-kintz/) > [“I hid Mrs. Frozenwater’s body in the ice cube trays in my freezer. Better to keep her there than let her memory thaw out…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jarod-kintz/i-hid-mrs-frozenwater-s-body-in-the-ice-cube-trays-in-my-freezer/) [Jarod Kintz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jarod-kintz/) > [“Two similar words might lead to two similar ideas. They might also lead to the basement, which I recently converted into a dungeon/torture chamber.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jarod-kintz/two-similar-words-might-lead-to-two-similar-ideas-they-might-also/) [Jarod Kintz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jarod-kintz/) > [“Nothing is and isn’t; nothing is and isn’t—nothing itself is, and at the same time, nothing isn’t.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jarod-kintz/nothing-is-and-isn-t-nothing-is-and-isn-t-nothing-itself-is-and-at/) [Jarod Kintz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jarod-kintz/) > [“Embossed letters represent the topography of typography.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jarod-kintz/embossed-letters-represent-the-topography-of-typography/) [Jarod Kintz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jarod-kintz/) > [“There’s only one piece of clothing I could eat fast, and that’s a scarf.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jarod-kintz/there-s-only-one-piece-of-clothing-i-could-eat-fast-and-that-s-a-scarf/) [Jarod Kintz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jarod-kintz/) > [“Dora J. Arod is to Jarod Ora, as yes is to yes. Yes is also the correct answer to “Will you marry me?” Other…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jarod-kintz/dora-j-arod-is-to-jarod-ora-as-yes-is-to-yes-yes-is-also-the-correct/) [Jarod Kintz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jarod-kintz/) > [“The best part about being kidnapped is being blindfolded and getting kicked into the trunk of a car. Boy, normally I have to beg…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jarod-kintz/the-best-part-about-being-kidnapped-is-being-blindfolded-and-getting/) [Jarod Kintz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jarod-kintz/) > [“Orafoura once told me that if I were a car, I’d be a Ferrari. One that was scratched smashed, rusted, and stolen.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jarod-kintz/orafoura-once-told-me-that-if-i-were-a-car-i-d-be-a-ferrari-one-that/) [Jarod Kintz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jarod-kintz/) > [“What makes a good leader? I ask myself this every day, and then as I begin to list off characteristics I realize I’m describing…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jarod-kintz/what-makes-a-good-leader-i-ask-myself-this-every-day-and-then-as-i/) [Jarod Kintz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jarod-kintz/) > [“I’d like to file a missing person’s report—on my clone. It’s nearly 2012. He should have been here by now.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jarod-kintz/i-d-like-to-file-a-missing-person-s-report-on-my-clone-it-s-nearly/) [Jarod Kintz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jarod-kintz/) [Explore all 6,921 Jarod Kintz quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jarod-kintz/) ## More Shortened quotes > [My sister married an American and took his name, and my brother has shortened Sayrafiezadeh to Sayraf. So now he's Jacob Sayraf, or sometimes…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/said-sayrafiezadeh/my-sister-married-an-american-and-took-his-name-and-my-brother-has/) [Said Sayrafiezadeh](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/said-sayrafiezadeh/) > [“Life is short, though I keep this from my children. Life is short, and I’ve shortened mine in a thousand delicious, ill-advised ways, a…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/maggie-smith/life-is-short-though-i-keep-this-from-my-children-life-is-short-and-i/) [Maggie Smith](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/maggie-smith/) > [Meek Mill - my homies used to call me 'Meek Millions,' and at the time I didn't have no millions, so I ain't really…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/meek-mill/meek-mill-my-homies-used-to-call-me-meek-millions-and-at-the-time-i/) [Meek Mill](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/meek-mill/) > [The World Wide Web is the only thing I know of whose shortened form takes three times longer to say than what it's short…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/douglas-adams/the-world-wide-web-is-the-only-thing-i-know-of-whose-shortened-form/) [Douglas Adams](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/douglas-adams/) > [I was looking for a name with an old English sound, very easy to pronounce in every language and easy to remember. At the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/diego-della-valle/i-was-looking-for-a-name-with-an-old-english-sound-very-easy-to/) [Diego Della Valle](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/diego-della-valle/) > [I'm coming out with my line of shoes and my very first shoe is called 'The Nethia.' How we came up with the name…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nene-leakes/i-m-coming-out-with-my-line-of-shoes-and-my-very-first-shoe-is-called/) [NeNe Leakes](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nene-leakes/) > [“And by habit they shortened their thoughts so that they would not wander out into the darkness beyond tomorrow.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/carson-mccullers/and-by-habit-they-shortened-their-thoughts-so-that-they-would-not/) [Carson McCullers](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/carson-mccullers/) > [Black Court vampires. I just shortened it some." Ebenezar tsked. "Blampires. That's the problem with you young people. Shortening all the words.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jim-butcher/black-court-vampires-i-just-shortened-it-some-ebenezar-tsked/) [Jim Butcher](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jim-butcher/) > [“I married Miss Right, but didn't know at the time she had shortened her name from Righteouspainintheass”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/josh-stern/i-married-miss-right-but-didn-t-know-at-the-time-she-had-shortened/) [Josh Stern](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/josh-stern/) > [“Little Dick’ or ‘Big Dick’ depends on how tall Richard is.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/steven-magee/little-dick-or-big-dick-depends-on-how-tall-richard-is/) [Steven Magee](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/steven-magee/) > [Work divided is in that manner shortened.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/martial/work-divided-is-in-that-manner-shortened/) [Martial](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/martial/) > [One of the fellows called me 'Cyclone' but finally shortened it to 'Cy' and its been that ever since.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/cy-young/one-of-the-fellows-called-me-cyclone-but-finally-shortened-it-to-cy/) [Cy Young](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/cy-young/) > [We then took a shortened version of what we'd been doing in the pubs, with the best gags and things like that, out to…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/neil-innes/we-then-took-a-shortened-version-of-what-we-d-been-doing-in-the-pubs/) [Neil Innes](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/neil-innes/) > [Even though it's a shortened format of the game, Twenty20 allows people with different skills to play in a team and play their specific…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/rahul-dravid/even-though-it-s-a-shortened-format-of-the-game-twenty20-allows/) [Rahul Dravid](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/rahul-dravid/) [Browse all 15 Shortened quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/shortened/) ```json { "@context": "https://schema.org", "@graph": [ { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "“I’ve shortened this sentence’s length, in order to reduce the need for it. 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