--- title: "Meaning & Key Takeaway of: How could I forget. I was her ghost…" description: "\"“How could I forget. I was her ghost daughter, sitting at empty tables with crayons and pens while she worked on a poem, a girl malleable as white clay..." image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/726/janet-fitch-717_children_how-could-i-forget-i-was-her-ghost-daugh_2170366.jpg" --- # How could I forget. I was her ghost daughter, sitting at… ![“How could I forget. I was her ghost daughter, sitting at empty tables with crayons and pens while she worked on a poem, a girl malleable as white clay. Someone to shape, instruct in the ways of being her. She was always shaping me. She showed me an orange, a cluster of pine needles, a faceted…” quote by Janet Fitch](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/726/janet-fitch-717_children_how-could-i-forget-i-was-her-ghost-daugh_2170366.jpg) [Download](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/726/janet-fitch-717_children_how-could-i-forget-i-was-her-ghost-daugh_2170366.jpg) [Open image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/726/janet-fitch-717_children_how-could-i-forget-i-was-her-ghost-daugh_2170366.jpg) > ““How could I forget. I was her ghost daughter, sitting at empty tables with crayons and pens while she worked on a poem, a girl malleable as white clay. Someone to shape, instruct in the ways of being her. She was always shaping me. She showed me an orange, a cluster of pine needles, a faceted quartz, and made me describe them to her. I couldn’t have been more than three or four. My words, that’s what she wanted. ”What’s this?” she kept asking. ”What’s this?” But how could I tell her? She’d taken all the words. The smell of tuberoses saturated the night air, and the wind clicked through the palms like thoughts through my sleepless mind. Who am I? I am a girl you don’t know, mother. The silent girl in the back row of the classroom, drawing in notebooks. Remember how they didn’t know if I even spoke English when we came back to the country? They tested me to find out if I was retarded or deaf. But you never asked why. You never thought, maybe I should have left Astrid some words. I thought of Yvonne in our room, asleep, thumb in mouth, wrapped around her baby like a top. ”I can see her,” you said. You could never see her, Mother. Not if you stood in that room all night. You could only see her plucked eyebrows, her bad teeth, the books that she read with the fainting women on the covers. You could never recognize the kindness in that girl, the depth of her needs, how desperately she wanted to belong, that’s why she was pregnant again. You could judge her as you judged everything else, inferior, but you could never see her. Things weren’t real to you. They were just raw material for you to reshape to tell a story you liked better. You could never just listen to a boy playing guitar, you’d have to turn it into a poem, make it all about you.”” [Janet Fitch](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/janet-fitch/) ## About This Quote This interpretation was drafted with AI assistance. It is one reading of the quote, not the author's own explanation. A child feels invisible and shaped by a mother who only sees her as material for her own stories, highlighting loss of identity and yearning for recognition. **In simple terms:** A girl feels unseen and used by her mother. Key Takeaway Seek authentic self‑expression beyond others' narratives. Themes identity parental influence voice belonging Mood lonely reflective Type literary emotional When to use this quote - classroom - family gatherings - creative writing - therapy sessions Key Concepts psychology power dynamics trauma Questions to Reflect On - How can one reclaim a lost voice? - What does it mean to be truly seen? A Different Perspective The mother’s perspective is absent, limiting empathy. ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ No ratings yet [Children](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/children/) [Ghost Daughter](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/ghost-daughter-4644107/) [Parenting](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/parenting/) [Playing guitar](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/playing-guitar/) [Poem](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/poem/) [Poem Girl](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/poem-girl-1784677/) [Poem Make](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/poem-make-964675/) [Raw material](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/raw-material/) [Worked Poem](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/worked-poem-4644106/) ## Related quotes > [“Things weren’t real to you. They were just raw material for you to reshape to tell a story you liked better. You could never…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/janet-finch/things-weren-t-real-to-you-they-were-just-raw-material-for-you-to/) [Janet Finch](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/janet-finch/) > [Truck drivers stop me and say, 'What is the poem for the day?' or 'Give me a poem for my girl.' I have one…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nipsey-russell/truck-drivers-stop-me-and-say-what-is-the-poem-for-the-day-or-give-me/) [Nipsey Russell](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nipsey-russell/) > [The poem is neither here nor there, and with a girl's breast it can illuminate the nights. With the glow of an apple it…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mahmoud-darwish/the-poem-is-neither-here-nor-there-and-with-a-girl-s-breast-it-can/) [Mahmoud Darwish](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mahmoud-darwish/) > [When I first knew that I wanted to rap I was seven years old and I lost the talent show. It was like spoken…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/rico-nasty/when-i-first-knew-that-i-wanted-to-rap-i-was-seven-years-old-and-i/) [Rico Nasty](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/rico-nasty/) > [My advice to the reader approaching a poem is to make the mind still and blank. Let the poem speak. This charged quiet mimics…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/camille-paglia/my-advice-to-the-reader-approaching-a-poem-is-to-make-the-mind-still/) [Camille Paglia](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/camille-paglia/) > [The art of the poem nowadays is something unstable; but at least the construction of the poem should make sense; you should know where…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/william-carlos-williams/the-art-of-the-poem-nowadays-is-something-unstable-but-at-least-the/) [William Carlos Williams](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/william-carlos-williams/) > [“my body writes into your flesh the poem you make of me. "Recreation”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/audre-lorde/my-body-writes-into-your-flesh-the-poem-you-make-of-me-recreation/) [Audre Lorde](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/audre-lorde/) > [“Sit here, so I may write you into a poem and make you eternal.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kamand-kojouri/sit-here-so-i-may-write-you-into-a-poem-and-make-you-eternal/) [Kamand Kojouri](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kamand-kojouri/) > [That's the main business of the poem!-to see if you can't make up a language that sets all your selves talking at once-all of…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/richard-wilbur/that-s-the-main-business-of-the-poem-to-see-if-you-can-t-make-up-a/) [Richard Wilbur](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/richard-wilbur/) > [In 2010, I had been playing guitar for 50 years.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lee-ritenour/in-2010-i-had-been-playing-guitar-for-50-years/) [Lee Ritenour](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lee-ritenour/) > [Maybe when you're 18, 19, 20, you could have a bit of a wobble if you're going on live TV and playing guitar. But…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/katie-melua/maybe-when-you-re-18-19-20-you-could-have-a-bit-of-a-wobble-if-you-re/) [Katie Melua](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/katie-melua/) > [You have to be careful not to make music something you don't want to do. Which happens. I've gotten off the road and been…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/shawn-mendes/you-have-to-be-careful-not-to-make-music-something-you-don-t-want-to/) [Shawn Mendes](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/shawn-mendes/) > [I realized that I really didn't like the sound of the ukulele so much so I started playing the guitar.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lola-kirke/i-realized-that-i-really-didn-t-like-the-sound-of-the-ukulele-so-much/) [Lola Kirke](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lola-kirke/) > [I took piano lessons when I was really young, like five years old, and I didn't really enjoy that very much. It was kind…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/washed-out/i-took-piano-lessons-when-i-was-really-young-like-five-years-old-and/) [Washed Out](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/washed-out/) > [There was a lot of camaraderie among the bands. I remember a lot of times when I'd be driving up Laurel Canyon and pass…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/june-millington/there-was-a-lot-of-camaraderie-among-the-bands-i-remember-a-lot-of/) [June Millington](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/june-millington/) ## More by Janet Fitch > [How could anybody confuse truth with beauty, I thought as I looked at him. Truth came with sunken eyes, bony or scarred, decayed. Its…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/janet-fitch/how-could-anybody-confuse-truth-with-beauty-i-thought-as-i-looked-at/) [Janet Fitch](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/janet-fitch/) > [I love Derrick Brown for the surprise of one word waking up next to another. One moment tender, funny or romantic, the next, visceral,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/janet-fitch/i-love-derrick-brown-for-the-surprise-of-one-word-waking-up-next-to/) [Janet Fitch](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/janet-fitch/) > [“That fucking crow-bodied thing had won. How gleeful it was now. All because he'd wanted to live, forget genius and destiny, and simply be…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/janet-fitch/that-fucking-crow-bodied-thing-had-won-how-gleeful-it-was-now-all/) [Janet Fitch](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/janet-fitch/) > [No matter how unappealing, each of them imagines he is somehow worthy.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/janet-fitch/no-matter-how-unappealing-each-of-them-imagines-he-is-somehow-worthy/) [Janet Fitch](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/janet-fitch/) > [The nearest I'd come to feeling anything like God was the plan blue cloudless sky and a certain silence, but how do you pray…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/janet-fitch/the-nearest-i-d-come-to-feeling-anything-like-god-was-the-plan-blue/) [Janet Fitch](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/janet-fitch/) > [When most people looked at Josie Tyrell, they only saw a certain collection of bones, a selection of forms filling space. But Michael saw…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/janet-fitch/when-most-people-looked-at-josie-tyrell-they-only-saw-a-certain/) [Janet Fitch](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/janet-fitch/) > [“They can't touch us. We're the Vikings. We go into battle without armor for the flush and the blood of it.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/janet-fitch/they-can-t-touch-us-we-re-the-vikings-we-go-into-battle-without-armor/) [Janet Fitch](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/janet-fitch/) > [“But I knew one more thing. That people who denied who they were or where they had been were in the greatest danger.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/janet-fitch/but-i-knew-one-more-thing-that-people-who-denied-who-they-were-or/) [Janet Fitch](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/janet-fitch/) > [“To dare to see is to steal fire from the Gods. This is mankind's destiny, the engine which fuels us as a race. Three…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/janet-fitch/to-dare-to-see-is-to-steal-fire-from-the-gods-this-is-mankind-s/) [Janet Fitch](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/janet-fitch/) > [This is what happens when you fall in love. You're looking at a natural disaster.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/janet-fitch/this-is-what-happens-when-you-fall-in-love-you-re-looking-at-a/) [Janet Fitch](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/janet-fitch/) > [“If I were a poet, that’s what I’d write about. People who worked in the middle of the night. Men who loaded trains, emergency…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/janet-fitch/if-i-were-a-poet-that-s-what-i-d-write-about-people-who-worked-in-the/) [Janet Fitch](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/janet-fitch/) > [“what was the point in creating something that was so futile and so precious? everything beautiful was like that. a little bit of the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/janet-fitch/what-was-the-point-in-creating-something-that-was-so-futile-and-so/) [Janet Fitch](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/janet-fitch/) > [“We received our coloring from Norsemen. Hairy savages who hacked their gods to pieces and hung the flesh from trees. We are the ones…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/janet-fitch/we-received-our-coloring-from-norsemen-hairy-savages-who-hacked-their/) [Janet Fitch](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/janet-fitch/) > [¨Loneliness is the human condition. Cultivate it. The way it tunnels into you allows your soul room to grow. Never expect to outgrow loneliness.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/janet-fitch/loneliness-is-the-human-condition-cultivate-it-the-way-it-tunnels/) [Janet Fitch](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/janet-fitch/) > [I was tired of men. Hanging in doorways, standing too close, men who made you love them then changed their minds.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/janet-fitch/i-was-tired-of-men-hanging-in-doorways-standing-too-close-men-who/) [Janet Fitch](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/janet-fitch/) [Explore all 388 Janet Fitch quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/janet-fitch/) ## More Children quotes > [I am certain that children always know more than they are able to tell, and that makes the big difference between them and adults,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jacques-lusseyran/i-am-certain-that-children-always-know-more-than-they-are-able-to/) [Jacques Lusseyran](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jacques-lusseyran/) > [Behind every successful child is an adult who believed in him.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/rick-warren/behind-every-successful-child-is-an-adult-who-believed-in-him/) [Rick Warren](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/rick-warren/) > [I believe in freedom to do what you want if you aren't hurting others, but pictures of obese protesters giving their children big gulps.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/philip-defranco/i-believe-in-freedom-to-do-what-you-want-if-you-aren-t-hurting-others/) [Philip DeFranco](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/philip-defranco/) > [If the audience likes your work, if they like you, they don't think whether you are married or have children or not. I made…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dimple-kapadia/if-the-audience-likes-your-work-if-they-like-you-they-don-t-think/) [Dimple Kapadia](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dimple-kapadia/) > [It doesnt seem to me strange that children should like the macabre, the sensational, and the forbidden.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anthony-hecht/it-doesnt-seem-to-me-strange-that-children-should-like-the-macabre/) [Anthony Hecht](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anthony-hecht/) > [Let children support their parents or be imprisoned.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/let-children-support-their-parents-or-be-imprisoned/) [Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/) > [Gratitude isn't just a feeling, it's an action. Expressing gratitude by writing in a journal, taking a photo, or shooting a video creates a…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/janice-kaplan/gratitude-isn-t-just-a-feeling-it-s-an-action-expressing-gratitude-by/) [Janice Kaplan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/janice-kaplan/) > [My embarrassing confession is that my father is a 'Camelot: The Musical' obsessive. So as a child, when we were going to visit relatives…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/chris-chibnall/my-embarrassing-confession-is-that-my-father-is-a-camelot-the-musical/) [Chris Chibnall](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/chris-chibnall/) > [I have many who keep me going, I am very fortunate in this sense. There is nothing like a child who knows more about…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/floyd-cooper/i-have-many-who-keep-me-going-i-am-very-fortunate-in-this-sense-there/) [Floyd Cooper](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/floyd-cooper/) > [My school was one of the most beautiful places a child can grow up in. You are surrounded by nature - cats, dogs, birds…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/amala-akkineni/my-school-was-one-of-the-most-beautiful-places-a-child-can-grow-up-in/) [Amala Akkineni](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/amala-akkineni/) > [A lesser complaint: hair extensions. There are moments on 'All My Children' when half the women actors, young and old, seem to be afflicted…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/camille-paglia/a-lesser-complaint-hair-extensions-there-are-moments-on-all-my/) [Camille Paglia](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/camille-paglia/) > [As a child, I had a lot of older gay men taking care of me. There's a trust there. I feel like little girls…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/margaret-cho/as-a-child-i-had-a-lot-of-older-gay-men-taking-care-of-me-there-s-a/) [Margaret Cho](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/margaret-cho/) > [If my child had prejudice in his head, I'd be ashamed. I would see it as my failure as a parent.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/salman-rushdie/if-my-child-had-prejudice-in-his-head-i-d-be-ashamed-i-would-see-it/) [Salman Rushdie](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/salman-rushdie/) > [“Children's lives are always beginning and adults' lives are always ending. Or is it the opposite? Your childhood is always ending and your adult…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alison-espach/children-s-lives-are-always-beginning-and-adults-lives-are-always/) [Alison Espach](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alison-espach/) > [As a child I was very involved with sports and I knew at age 9 that I wanted to be an Olympic champion.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/marion-jones/as-a-child-i-was-very-involved-with-sports-and-i-knew-at-age-9-that-i/) [Marion Jones](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/marion-jones/) [Browse all 62,396 Children quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/children/) ```json { "@context": "https://schema.org", "@graph": [ { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "“How could I forget. I was her ghost daughter, sitting at empty tables with crayons and pens while she worked on a poem, a girl malleable as white clay. Someone to shape, instruct in the ways of being her. She was always shaping me. She showed me an orange, a cluster of pine needles, a faceted quartz, and made me describe them to her. I couldn’t have been more than three or four. My words, that’s what she wanted. ”What’s this?” she kept asking. ”What’s this?” But how could I tell her? She’d taken all the words. The smell of tuberoses saturated the night air, and the wind clicked through the palms like thoughts through my sleepless mind. Who am I? I am a girl you don’t know, mother. The silent girl in the back row of the classroom, drawing in notebooks. Remember how they didn’t know if I even spoke English when we came back to the country? They tested me to find out if I was retarded or deaf. But you never asked why. You never thought, maybe I should have left Astrid some words. I thought of Yvonne in our room, asleep, thumb in mouth, wrapped around her baby like a top. ”I can see her,” you said. You could never see her, Mother. Not if you stood in that room all night. You could only see her plucked eyebrows, her bad teeth, the books that she read with the fainting women on the covers. You could never recognize the kindness in that girl, the depth of her needs, how desperately she wanted to belong, that’s why she was pregnant again. You could judge her as you judged everything else, inferior, but you could never see her. Things weren’t real to you. They were just raw material for you to reshape to tell a story you liked better. You could never just listen to a boy playing guitar, you’d have to turn it into a poem, make it all about you.”", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Janet Fitch" }, "isPartOf": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/janet-fitch/how-could-i-forget-i-was-her-ghost-daughter-sitting-at-empty-tables/", "about": { "@type": "Thing", "name": "Children" }, "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/janet-fitch/how-could-i-forget-i-was-her-ghost-daughter-sitting-at-empty-tables/#quotation", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/726/janet-fitch-717_children_how-could-i-forget-i-was-her-ghost-daugh_2170366.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/726/janet-fitch-717_children_how-could-i-forget-i-was-her-ghost-daugh_2170366.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/726/janet-fitch-717_children_how-could-i-forget-i-was-her-ghost-daugh_2170366.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“How could I forget. I was her ghost daughter, sitting at empty tables with crayons and pens while she worked…” — Janet Fitch", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } }, { "@type": "BreadcrumbList", "itemListElement": [ { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 1, "name": "Home", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/" }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 2, "name": "Quotes", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/" }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 3, "name": "Janet Fitch", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/janet-fitch/" }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 4, "name": "“How could I forget. I was...", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/janet-fitch/how-could-i-forget-i-was-her-ghost-daughter-sitting-at-empty-tables/" } ], "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/janet-fitch/how-could-i-forget-i-was-her-ghost-daughter-sitting-at-empty-tables/#breadcrumb" }, { "@type": "WebSite", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website", "name": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/", "publisher": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } }, { "@type": "Organization", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization", "name": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/", "logo": { "@type": "ImageObject", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wp-content/themes/sq/assets/icons/icon-512.png", "width": 512, "height": 512 } } ] } ```