--- title: "Meaning & Key Takeaway of: I lay it down as a general rule, Harriet…" description: "\"“I lay it down as a general rule, Harriet, that if a woman doubts as to whether she should accept a man or not, she certainly ought to refuse him. If s..." image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/ade/jane-austen-39_emma_i-lay-it-down-as-a-general-rule-harriet_3031494.jpg" --- # I lay it down as a general rule, Harriet, that if a woman… ![“I lay it down as a general rule, Harriet, that if a woman doubts as to whether she should accept a man or not, she certainly ought to refuse him. If she can hesitate as to "'Yes,'" she ought to say "'No'" directly. It is not a state to be safely entered into with doubtful feelings, with half a…” quote by Jane Austen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/ade/jane-austen-39_emma_i-lay-it-down-as-a-general-rule-harriet_3031494.jpg) [Download](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/ade/jane-austen-39_emma_i-lay-it-down-as-a-general-rule-harriet_3031494.jpg) [Open image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/ade/jane-austen-39_emma_i-lay-it-down-as-a-general-rule-harriet_3031494.jpg) > ““I lay it down as a general rule, Harriet, that if a woman doubts as to whether she should accept a man or not, she certainly ought to refuse him. If she can hesitate as to "'Yes,'" she ought to say "'No'" directly. It is not a state to be safely entered into with doubtful feelings, with half a heart.”” [Jane Austen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jane-austen/) ## About This Quote This interpretation was drafted with AI assistance. It is one reading of the quote, not the author's own explanation. A woman should trust her intuition and avoid relationships that feel uncertain or half‑hearted. **In simple terms:** Trust gut feelings about love. Key Takeaway Say no when unsure. Themes relationships intuition self‑respect Mood reflective cautious Type advice philosophical When to use this quote - dating - marriage proposals - friendship boundaries Key Concepts autonomy decision making Questions to Reflect On - How do you differentiate fear from genuine doubt? - What signs indicate a healthy partnership? A Different Perspective May miss a compatible partner if overly cautious. ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ No ratings yet [Proposals](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/proposals/) ## Related quotes > [if a woman doubts as to whether she should accept a man or not, she certainly ought to refuse him. 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A man thinks that everything he does is wonderful,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/margo-kaufman/anyone-who-believes-that-men-and-women-have-the-same-mind-set-hasn-t/) [Margo Kaufman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/margo-kaufman/) > [An honest man is not accountable for the vice and folly of his trade, and therefore ought not to refuse the exercise of it.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/michel-de-montaigne/an-honest-man-is-not-accountable-for-the-vice-and-folly-of-his-trade/) [Michel de Montaigne](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/michel-de-montaigne/) > [I release all fears and doubts. I accept myself and create peace in my mind and heart. I now choose to free myself from…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/louise-hay/i-release-all-fears-and-doubts-i-accept-myself-and-create-peace-in-my/) [Louise Hay](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/louise-hay/) > [“There is such a freedom being able to sit still … with yourself, your questions, thoughts, dreams and doubts. Can you accept who you…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/brittany-burgunder/there-is-such-a-freedom-being-able-to-sit-still-with-yourself-your/) [Brittany Burgunder](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/brittany-burgunder/) > [“Being divorced does not necessarily make one’s advice on marriage useless … or useful.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mokokoma-mokhonoana/being-divorced-does-not-necessarily-make-one-s-advice-on-marriage/) [Mokokoma Mokhonoana](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mokokoma-mokhonoana/) > [With these kinds of proposals, the devil is in the details. We're going to examine this realignment closely. We will fight any measure that…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-b-larson/with-these-kinds-of-proposals-the-devil-is-in-the-details-we-re-going/) [John B. 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Not only to benefit Fosun, but to benefit all private…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/guo-guangchang/from-a-business-perspective-we-are-trying-to-propose-some-suggestions/) [Guo Guangchang](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/guo-guangchang/) > [I spent as much time writing proposals in '98 and '99 as I did writing scripts.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mark-millar/i-spent-as-much-time-writing-proposals-in-98-and-99-as-i-did-writing/) [Mark Millar](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mark-millar/) ## More by Jane Austen > [Let us have the luxury of silence.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jane-austen/let-us-have-the-luxury-of-silence/) [Jane Austen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jane-austen/) > [“How earnestly did she then wish that her former opinions had been more reasonable, more moderate!”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jane-austen/how-earnestly-did-she-then-wish-that-her-former-opinions-had-been/) [Jane Austen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jane-austen/) > [“it is very well worth-while to be tormented for two or three years of one's life, for the sake of being able to read…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jane-austen/it-is-very-well-worth-while-to-be-tormented-for-two-or-three-years-of/) [Jane Austen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jane-austen/) > [ “Everybody is taken in at some period or another. \[...\] In marriage especially. \[...\] There is not one in a hundred of either sex,… ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jane-austen/everybody-is-taken-in-at-some-period-or-another-in-marriage/) [Jane Austen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jane-austen/) > [She knew that what Marianne and her mother conjectured one moment, they believed the next: that with them, to wish was to hope, and…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jane-austen/she-knew-that-what-marianne-and-her-mother-conjectured-one-moment/) [Jane Austen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jane-austen/) > [“…for I look upon the Frasers to be about as unhappy as most other married people.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jane-austen/for-i-look-upon-the-frasers-to-be-about-as-unhappy-as-most-other/) [Jane Austen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jane-austen/) > [“It raises my spleen more than any thing, to have the pretence of being asked, of being given a choice, and at the same…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jane-austen/it-raises-my-spleen-more-than-any-thing-to-have-the-pretence-of-being/) [Jane Austen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jane-austen/) > [her spirits wanted the solitude and silence which only numbers could give.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jane-austen/her-spirits-wanted-the-solitude-and-silence-which-only-numbers-could/) [Jane Austen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jane-austen/) > [“But in such cases as these a good memory is unpardonable.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jane-austen/but-in-such-cases-as-these-a-good-memory-is-unpardonable/) [Jane Austen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jane-austen/) > [“...the pleasantness of an employment does not always evince its propriety.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jane-austen/the-pleasantness-of-an-employment-does-not-always-evince-its-propriety/) [Jane Austen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jane-austen/) > [Such squeamish youths as cannot bear to be connected with a little absurdity are not worth a regret.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jane-austen/such-squeamish-youths-as-cannot-bear-to-be-connected-with-a-little/) [Jane Austen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jane-austen/) > [“I must tell you what you will not ask, though I may wish it unsaid the next moment”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jane-austen/i-must-tell-you-what-you-will-not-ask-though-i-may-wish-it-unsaid-the/) [Jane Austen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jane-austen/) > [“Lady Catherine seemed quite astonished at not receiving a direct answer; and Elizabeth suspected herself to be the first creature who had ever dared…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jane-austen/lady-catherine-seemed-quite-astonished-at-not-receiving-a-direct/) [Jane Austen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jane-austen/) > [“He had suffered, and he had learnt to think, two advantages that he had never known before…”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jane-austen/he-had-suffered-and-he-had-learnt-to-think-two-advantages-that-he-had/) [Jane Austen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jane-austen/) > [“Vanity was the beginning and the end of Sir Walter Eliot's character; vanity of person and of situation.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jane-austen/vanity-was-the-beginning-and-the-end-of-sir-walter-eliot-s-character/) [Jane Austen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jane-austen/) [Explore all 2,013 Jane Austen quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jane-austen/) ## More Emma quotes > [And you can't complain about kissing Emma Watson. Isn't that what everyone in the world wants to do? I've known Emma for a few…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/eddie-redmayne/and-you-can-t-complain-about-kissing-emma-watson-isn-t-that-what/) [Eddie Redmayne](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/eddie-redmayne/) > [Emma was a shocking driver, simultaneously sloppy and petrified, and for the first fifty miles had been absent-mindedly driving with her spectacles on top…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/david-nicholls/emma-was-a-shocking-driver-simultaneously-sloppy-and-petrified-and/) [David Nicholls](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/david-nicholls/) > [For a moment he could have sworn he smelled violets, which was very peculiar, since he had no idea what violets smelled like, except…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/susan-elizabeth-phillips/for-a-moment-he-could-have-sworn-he-smelled-violets-which-was-very/) [Susan Elizabeth Phillips](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/susan-elizabeth-phillips/) > [I really want to work with Emma Stone; she is adorable.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/isabelle-fuhrman/i-really-want-to-work-with-emma-stone-she-is-adorable/) [Isabelle Fuhrman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/isabelle-fuhrman/) > [“But one thing I do know, you don't screw with crazy.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/brandy-nacole/but-one-thing-i-do-know-you-don-t-screw-with-crazy/) [Brandy Nacole](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/brandy-nacole/) > [Gustave Flaubert said, "Emma Bovary, c'est moi." It is not possible to write something you are not, but to have a new form, with…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lore-segal/gustave-flaubert-said-emma-bovary-c-est-moi-it-is-not-possible-to/) [Lore Segal](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lore-segal/) > [“Yours if you want it." - Julian to Emma.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/meredith-duran/yours-if-you-want-it-julian-to-emma/) [Meredith Duran](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/meredith-duran/) > [“Whenever you are transplanted, like me, you will understand how very delightful it is to meet with anything at all like what one has…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jane-austen/whenever-you-are-transplanted-like-me-you-will-understand-how-very/) [Jane Austen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jane-austen/) > [Emma was no asleep, she was pretending to be asleep; and, while he was dozing off at her side, she lay awake, dreaming other…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gustave-flaubert/emma-was-no-asleep-she-was-pretending-to-be-asleep-and-while-he-was/) [Gustave Flaubert](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/gustave-flaubert/) > [“The heart is a strange thing," Evelyn said, staring off into space. "It can be broken easily and takes a long time to mend,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sarah-holman/the-heart-is-a-strange-thing-evelyn-said-staring-off-into-space-it/) [Sarah Holman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sarah-holman/) > [Emma Rothschild's magnificently researched and lucidly written book reveals the many connections and layers of empire without in any way undermining the less edifying…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/rudrangshu-mukherjee/emma-rothschild-s-magnificently-researched-and-lucidly-written-book/) Rudrangshu Mukherjee > [Emma, I'm sorry, I can't help you. This is a disaster. You're completely vulnerable. It's like going into battle in a nightie.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sophie-kinsella/emma-i-m-sorry-i-can-t-help-you-this-is-a-disaster-you-re-completely/) [Sophie Kinsella](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sophie-kinsella/) > [Do you miss her?' 'Who? Emma? Of course. Every day. She was my best friend.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/david-nicholls/do-you-miss-her-who-emma-of-course-every-day-she-was-my-best-friend/) [David Nicholls](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/david-nicholls/) > [“I don't approve of surprises. The pleasure is never enhanced and the inconvenience is considerable.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/george-knightley/i-don-t-approve-of-surprises-the-pleasure-is-never-enhanced-and-the/) George Knightley > [“I need to go get ready to leave. Will you be okay?" I start making my way to the stairs, but Briston practically cries…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/brandy-nacole/i-need-to-go-get-ready-to-leave-will-you-be-okay-i-start-making-my/) [Brandy Nacole](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/brandy-nacole/) Browse all 192 Emma quotes ```json { "@context": "https://schema.org", "@graph": [ { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "“I lay it down as a general rule, Harriet, that if a woman doubts as to whether she should accept a man or not, she certainly ought to refuse him. If she can hesitate as to \"'Yes,'\" she ought to say \"'No'\" directly. 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