--- title: "Meaning & Key Takeaway of: The state of love is this constant flux…" description: "\"The state of love is this constant flux back and forth between who's saving and who's rescuing, who's wanting and not wanting, who's needing and who is..." image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/2e4/jane-alison-19956_back-and-forth_the-state-of-love-is-this-constant-flux_535320.jpg" --- # The state of love is this constant flux back and forth… ![“The state of love is this constant flux back and forth between who's saving and who's rescuing, who's wanting and not wanting, who's needing and who isn't. It's always going back and forth between two people who are actually attached.” quote by Jane Alison](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/2e4/jane-alison-19956_back-and-forth_the-state-of-love-is-this-constant-flux_535320.jpg) [Download](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/2e4/jane-alison-19956_back-and-forth_the-state-of-love-is-this-constant-flux_535320.jpg) [Open image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/2e4/jane-alison-19956_back-and-forth_the-state-of-love-is-this-constant-flux_535320.jpg) > “The state of love is this constant flux back and forth between who's saving and who's rescuing, who's wanting and not wanting, who's needing and who isn't. It's always going back and forth between two people who are actually attached.” [Jane Alison](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jane-alison/) ## About This Quote This interpretation was drafted with AI assistance. It is one reading of the quote, not the author's own explanation. Love is a shifting exchange of giving and receiving, desire and restraint, need and independence between attached partners. **In simple terms:** Love constantly swaps roles of giving, needing, and resisting. Key Takeaway Recognize and respect the ebb and flow. Themes love interdependence attachment fluidity power dynamics Mood intimate thoughtful Type philosophical relationship advice When to use this quote - romantic partnerships - friendships - family caregiving - collaborative projects Key Concepts relationship theory emotional intelligence attachment styles Questions to Reflect On - How do you navigate shifting needs in a relationship? - What boundaries keep the exchange healthy? A Different Perspective Roles may become imbalanced, causing resentment. ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ No ratings yet [Love](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/love/) [People](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/people/) [Saving](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/saving/) ## Related quotes > [The whole movement of happiness, unhappiness, happiness, unhappiness, could be called unhappiness. You're suffering because your state of mind is in flux, moving back…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/eckhart-tolle/the-whole-movement-of-happiness-unhappiness-happiness-unhappiness/) [Eckhart Tolle](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/eckhart-tolle/) > [The history of the cosmos is the history of the struggle of becoming. When the dim flux of unformed life struggled, convulsed back and…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/d-h-lawrence/the-history-of-the-cosmos-is-the-history-of-the-struggle-of-becoming/) [D. H. Lawrence](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/d-h-lawrence/) > [“What he wanted was Megan wanting him... but not needing him. Not vulnerable to him. Sure as help not trying to leave him over…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mira-lyn-kelly/what-he-wanted-was-megan-wanting-him-but-not-needing-him-not/) [Mira Lyn Kelly](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mira-lyn-kelly/) > [Wanting and needing have two very different s meanings some people still seem to not figure that out.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/arjun-loveable/wanting-and-needing-have-two-very-different-s-meanings-some-people/) [Arjun Loveable](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/arjun-loveable/) > [Wanting and needing are two different things.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/richelle-mead/wanting-and-needing-are-two-different-things/) [Richelle Mead](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/richelle-mead/) > [“The wanting, the needing, the distance, the disappointment: growing, knowing, committing, aging beside another. Alone, one can live perfectly. But not a life.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jonathan-safran-foer/the-wanting-the-needing-the-distance-the-disappointment-growing/) [Jonathan Safran Foer](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jonathan-safran-foer/) > [“Wanting someone, needing someone, isn't a vice.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sylvain-reynard/wanting-someone-needing-someone-isn-t-a-vice/) [Sylvain Reynard](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sylvain-reynard/) > [If you have it you don't need it. If you need it, you don't have it. If you have it, you need more of…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bruce-campbell/if-you-have-it-you-don-t-need-it-if-you-need-it-you-don-t-have-it-if/) [Bruce Campbell](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bruce-campbell/) > [People never get what they want never get what they need we get what we are so stop wanting and needing and start being](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ekhert-tolle-kid-white/people-never-get-what-they-want-never-get-what-they-need-we-get-what/) Ekhert Tolle / Kid White > [Why God should want and need us is a mystery. But it is true: otherwise he would not have created us and life would…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/why-god-should-want-and-need-us-is-a-mystery-but-it-is-true-otherwise/) [Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/) > [Theres a difference between wanting & needing. I want you, but sure dont need you.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/theres-a-difference-between-wanting-needing-i-want-you-but-sure-dont/) [Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/) > [“The experiences of wanting less, needing less, and giving more allow us to withdraw from the psychic conflicts that cause so much pain for…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gideon-lewis-kraus/the-experiences-of-wanting-less-needing-less-and-giving-more-allow-us/) [Gideon Lewis-Kraus](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/gideon-lewis-kraus/) > [“Nicholas gave her a pained look. "Wanting someone, needing someone, isn't a vice.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sylvain-reynard/nicholas-gave-her-a-pained-look-wanting-someone-needing-someone-isn-t/) [Sylvain Reynard](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sylvain-reynard/) > [In the state of love, no matter what you do, it's going to be good.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/paramahansa-yogananda/in-the-state-of-love-no-matter-what-you-do-it-s-going-to-be-good/) [Paramahansa Yogananda](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/paramahansa-yogananda/) > [Let ur love be ur state of being ,, NOT that u fall in love , but just that u r loving .. it…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/let-ur-love-be-ur-state-of-being-not-that-u-fall-in-love-but-just/) [Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/) ## More by Jane Alison > [I know that I was able to find my way out of most of my feelings by writing.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jane-alison/i-know-that-i-was-able-to-find-my-way-out-of-most-of-my-feelings-by/) [Jane Alison](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jane-alison/) > [When you get immersed in whatever you're writing, the world does suddenly get so filtered through what you're writing. And then of course what…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jane-alison/when-you-get-immersed-in-whatever-you-re-writing-the-world-does/) [Jane Alison](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jane-alison/) > [In order to have a real life of any romance, there has to be a level of fantasy.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jane-alison/in-order-to-have-a-real-life-of-any-romance-there-has-to-be-a-level/) [Jane Alison](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jane-alison/) > [“Making a self can be like writing, and now I think writing can be like home: a space you make that you dwell in…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jane-alison/making-a-self-can-be-like-writing-and-now-i-think-writing-can-be-like/) [Jane Alison](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jane-alison/) > [“Just as there can be a hole in these narratives, a memoir can be as much about what's forgotten as what's remembered.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jane-alison/just-as-there-can-be-a-hole-in-these-narratives-a-memoir-can-be-as/) [Jane Alison](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jane-alison/) > [I was born in Australia and grew up in the foreign services. I had this kind of trans-Pacific life. I think I was always…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jane-alison/i-was-born-in-australia-and-grew-up-in-the-foreign-services-i-had/) [Jane Alison](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jane-alison/) > [When you're waiting for a bus, the thing to do is smoke a cigarette.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jane-alison/when-you-re-waiting-for-a-bus-the-thing-to-do-is-smoke-a-cigarette/) [Jane Alison](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jane-alison/) > [I think sometimes to still be angry is appropriate, but you want to be able to live with it.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jane-alison/i-think-sometimes-to-still-be-angry-is-appropriate-but-you-want-to-be/) [Jane Alison](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jane-alison/) > [“This stream of watching made what was watched wanted.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jane-alison/this-stream-of-watching-made-what-was-watched-wanted/) [Jane Alison](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jane-alison/) > [I can't say that fantasy instead of the 3D world is fine or good, but I know in my own life I have certain…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jane-alison/i-can-t-say-that-fantasy-instead-of-the-3d-world-is-fine-or-good-but/) [Jane Alison](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jane-alison/) > [I've always wanted to figure out how to do a walking story. I'd never figured out how to do one and have it work…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jane-alison/i-ve-always-wanted-to-figure-out-how-to-do-a-walking-story-i-d-never/) [Jane Alison](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jane-alison/) > [You have to want something or you're finished.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jane-alison/you-have-to-want-something-or-you-re-finished/) [Jane Alison](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jane-alison/) > [I suppose you retire from trying. If you retire from trying, you think, "Maybe love will just come my way if I don't want…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jane-alison/i-suppose-you-retire-from-trying-if-you-retire-from-trying-you-think/) [Jane Alison](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jane-alison/) > [“When you're sixteen or seventeen meaning can be anywhere. A drop of rain running down the window is a symbol, a song comes on…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jane-alison/when-you-re-sixteen-or-seventeen-meaning-can-be-anywhere-a-drop-of/) [Jane Alison](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jane-alison/) > [Sometimes there isn't a way to hug and make everything better.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jane-alison/sometimes-there-isn-t-a-way-to-hug-and-make-everything-better/) [Jane Alison](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jane-alison/) [Explore all 31 Jane Alison quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jane-alison/) ## More Back and forth quotes > [He should release the tax returns tomorrow. It's crazy. You've got to release six, eight, ten years back tax returns. 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It is the most interactive of all processes. It requires countless hours of eyeball to eyeball, back…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jack-welch/real-communication-is-an-attitude-an-environment-it-is-the-most/) [Jack Welch](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jack-welch/) > [People jump back and forth in pursuit of pleasures only because they see the emptiness of their lives more clearly than they do the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/leo-tolstoy/people-jump-back-and-forth-in-pursuit-of-pleasures-only-because-they/) [Leo Tolstoy](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/leo-tolstoy/) > [How long were the stretches of toilsome tacking back and forth, of being blocked, of being thrown back again and again. But all that…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kathe-kollwitz/how-long-were-the-stretches-of-toilsome-tacking-back-and-forth-of/) [Kathe Kollwitz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kathe-kollwitz/) > [The relationship with the words someone uses is more intimate and integrated than just a quick read and a blurb can ever be. This…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alice-sebold/the-relationship-with-the-words-someone-uses-is-more-intimate-and/) [Alice Sebold](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alice-sebold/) > [ One day he \[Wagner\] was batting against a young pitcher who had just come into the league. 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