--- title: "Meaning & Key Takeaway of: Everyone has always said I look like…" description: "\"“Everyone has always said I look like Bailey, but I don't. I have grey eyes to her green, an oval face to her heart-shaped one, I'm shorter, scrawnier,..." image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/a5a/jandy-nelson-1913_bailey_everyone-has-always-said-i-look-like-bai_364321.jpg" --- # Everyone has always said I look like Bailey, but I don't… ![“Everyone has always said I look like Bailey, but I don't. I have grey eyes to her green, an oval face to her heart-shaped one, I'm shorter, scrawnier, paler, flatter, plainer, tamer. All we shared is a madhouse of curls that I imprison in a ponytail while she let hers rave like madness around her…” quote by Jandy Nelson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/a5a/jandy-nelson-1913_bailey_everyone-has-always-said-i-look-like-bai_364321.jpg) [Download](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/a5a/jandy-nelson-1913_bailey_everyone-has-always-said-i-look-like-bai_364321.jpg) [Open image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/a5a/jandy-nelson-1913_bailey_everyone-has-always-said-i-look-like-bai_364321.jpg) > ““Everyone has always said I look like Bailey, but I don't. I have grey eyes to her green, an oval face to her heart-shaped one, I'm shorter, scrawnier, paler, flatter, plainer, tamer. All we shared is a madhouse of curls that I imprison in a ponytail while she let hers rave like madness around her head. I don't sing in my sleep or eat the petals off flowers or run into the rain instead of out of it. I'm the unplugged-in one, the side-kick sister, tucked into a corner of her shadow. Boys followed her everywhere; they filled the booths at the restaurant where she waitressed, herded around her at the river. One day, I saw a boy come up behind her and pull a strand of her long hair I understood this- I felt the same way. In photographs of us together, she is always looking at the camera, and I am always looking at her.”” [Jandy Nelson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jandy-nelson/) ## About This Quote This interpretation was drafted with AI assistance. It is one reading of the quote, not the author's own explanation. The narrator feels eclipsed by her sister’s striking presence, seeing herself only in relation to the other’s identity and longing for recognition. **In simple terms:** She feels invisible compared to her sister. Key Takeaway Seek your own voice and identity. Themes identity family self‑esteem comparison growth Mood melancholic reflective Type literary personal emotional When to use this quote - family gatherings - school settings - social events - personal reflection - creative expression Key Concepts shadow self sibling dynamics self‑discovery Questions to Reflect On - How can you define yourself beyond others’ shadows? - What steps help you claim your own identity? A Different Perspective The perspective is limited to the narrator’s feelings; external validation may differ. ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ No ratings yet [Bailey](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/bailey/) [Death](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/death/) [Family](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/family/) [Grey eyes](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/grey-eyes/) [Grief](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/grief/) [Sister](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/sister/) ## Related quotes > [“I'm layering away: sauce, noodles, I belong to you , cheese, sauce, my heart is yours , noodles, cheese, I hear your soul in…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jandy-nelson/i-m-layering-away-sauce-noodles-i-belong-to-you-cheese-sauce-my-heart/) [Jandy Nelson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jandy-nelson/) > [“If only words hadn't eluded me today, if only I yelled back at him: I do get it! I get that as long as…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jandy-nelson/if-only-words-hadn-t-eluded-me-today-if-only-i-yelled-back-at-him-i/) [Jandy Nelson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jandy-nelson/) > [“There are times like that bailey. Time you don't think you can take it anymore. But then you discover that you can. You always…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/amy-harmon/there-are-times-like-that-bailey-time-you-don-t-think-you-can-take-it/) [Amy Harmon](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/amy-harmon/) > [I collect many hats, but I do like Bailey's Hats, and I order them online.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/little-louie-vega/i-collect-many-hats-but-i-do-like-bailey-s-hats-and-i-order-them/) [Little Louie Vega](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/little-louie-vega/) > [“Bailey loved both Toby and me so much - he and I almost make up her whole heart, and maybe that's it, what we…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jandy-nelson/bailey-loved-both-toby-and-me-so-much-he-and-i-almost-make-up-her/) [Jandy Nelson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jandy-nelson/) > [“Sam was creative and dedicated, but his wasn't the plodding bright-and-early work ethic of the morning person, like mine. It was the crazy creative…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jennifer-echols/sam-was-creative-and-dedicated-but-his-wasn-t-the-plodding-bright-and/) [Jennifer Echols](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jennifer-echols/) > [“I read for someone a week ago,” she says. “He was young, younger than I was when I met you. Tall in the way…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/erin-morgenstern/i-read-for-someone-a-week-ago-she-says-he-was-young-younger-than-i/) [Erin Morgenstern](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/erin-morgenstern/) > [“Bailey hung her head for a moment, and”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/karen-kingsbury/bailey-hung-her-head-for-a-moment-and/) [Karen Kingsbury](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/karen-kingsbury/) > [“No one mentioned his(Bailey's) absence as if things were as they should be and always were.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/maya-angelou/no-one-mentioned-his-bailey-s-absence-as-if-things-were-as-they/) [Maya Angelou](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/maya-angelou/) > [“I was playing with fire right now and I didn’t really care if I got burned. - Oliver Bailey”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/melissa-bender/i-was-playing-with-fire-right-now-and-i-didn-t-really-care-if-i-got/) [Melissa Bender](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/melissa-bender/) > [Glenda Bailey is a woman after my own heart who believes that climbing the career ladder can be overrated, to say the least. After…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/amanda-de-cadenet/glenda-bailey-is-a-woman-after-my-own-heart-who-believes-that/) [Amanda de Cadenet](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/amanda-de-cadenet/) > [“Bailey didn't notice the absence of abuse until it was time to go through it again.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wayne-lemmons/bailey-didn-t-notice-the-absence-of-abuse-until-it-was-time-to-go/) Wayne Lemmons > [“Nathan had to park his Honda a whole block from the party, which was a good thing for two reasons. First, it gave Bailey…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kody-keplinger/nathan-had-to-park-his-honda-a-whole-block-from-the-party-which-was-a/) [Kody Keplinger](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kody-keplinger/) > [“I continued to move my fingers across his skin exactly as I had before, but I needed to make a decision. I had reached…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jennifer-echols/i-continued-to-move-my-fingers-across-his-skin-exactly-as-i-had/) [Jennifer Echols](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jennifer-echols/) > [Bailey might not have great intelligence or abilities, but his whole aim, thought and study was that of the born leader--to look out for…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/james-gould-cozzens/bailey-might-not-have-great-intelligence-or-abilities-but-his-whole/) [James Gould Cozzens](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/james-gould-cozzens/) ## More by Jandy Nelson > [And then he smiles, and in all the places around the globe where it's night, day breaks.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jandy-nelson/and-then-he-smiles-and-in-all-the-places-around-the-globe-where-it-s/) [Jandy Nelson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jandy-nelson/) > [Or maybe a person is just made up of a lot of peopleMaybe we’re accumulating these new selves all the time. Hauling them in…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jandy-nelson/or-maybe-a-person-is-just-made-up-of-a-lot-of-peoplemaybe-we-re/) [Jandy Nelson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jandy-nelson/) > [“How can people die when you’re in a fight with them? When you’re smack in the middle of hating them? When absolutely nothing between…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jandy-nelson/how-can-people-die-when-you-re-in-a-fight-with-them-when-you-re-smack/) [Jandy Nelson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jandy-nelson/) > [I wonder why bereaved people even bother with mourning clothes when the grief itself provides such an unmistakable wardrobe.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jandy-nelson/i-wonder-why-bereaved-people-even-bother-with-mourning-clothes-when/) [Jandy Nelson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jandy-nelson/) > [... if you're someone who knows the worst thing can happen at any time, aren't you also someone who knows the best thing can…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jandy-nelson/if-you-re-someone-who-knows-the-worst-thing-can-happen-at-any-time/) [Jandy Nelson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jandy-nelson/) > [“I want my sister. I want to hurl a building at God. I take a breath and exhale with enough force to blow the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jandy-nelson/i-want-my-sister-i-want-to-hurl-a-building-at-god-i-take-a-breath-and/) [Jandy Nelson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jandy-nelson/) > [Grief is forever. It doesn't go away; it becomes part of you, step for step, breath for breath.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jandy-nelson/grief-is-forever-it-doesn-t-go-away-it-becomes-part-of-you-step-for/) [Jandy Nelson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jandy-nelson/) > [“Una y otra vez, día tras día, me esforcé por ser vista. Solo quería que me prestara atención, no que me dejara tirada en…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jandy-nelson/una-y-otra-vez-d-a-tras-d-a-me-esforc-por-ser-vista-solo-quer-a-que/) [Jandy Nelson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jandy-nelson/) > [grief is a house where the chairs have forgotten how to hold us the mirrors how to reflect us the walls how to contain…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jandy-nelson/grief-is-a-house-where-the-chairs-have-forgotten-how-to-hold-us-the/) [Jandy Nelson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jandy-nelson/) > [“I think if we don't stop kissing, the world is going to explode.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jandy-nelson/i-think-if-we-don-t-stop-kissing-the-world-is-going-to-explode/) [Jandy Nelson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jandy-nelson/) > [He murmers into my hair, "Forget what I said earlier, let's stick with this, I might not survive anything more." I laugh. Then he…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jandy-nelson/he-murmers-into-my-hair-forget-what-i-said-earlier-let-s-stick-with/) [Jandy Nelson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jandy-nelson/) > [“Listen to me. It takes a lot of courage to be true to yourself, true to your heart. You always have been very brave…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jandy-nelson/listen-to-me-it-takes-a-lot-of-courage-to-be-true-to-yourself-true-to/) [Jandy Nelson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jandy-nelson/) > [Sometimes you think you know things, know things very deeply, only to realize you don't know a damn thing.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jandy-nelson/sometimes-you-think-you-know-things-know-things-very-deeply-only-to/) [Jandy Nelson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jandy-nelson/) > [I have an impulse to write all over the orange walls- I need an alphabet of endings ripped out of books, of hands pulled…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jandy-nelson/i-have-an-impulse-to-write-all-over-the-orange-walls-i-need-an/) [Jandy Nelson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jandy-nelson/) > [“I'd been making desicions for days. I picked out the dress Bailey would wear forever- a black slinky one- innapropriate- that she loved. I…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jandy-nelson/i-d-been-making-desicions-for-days-i-picked-out-the-dress-bailey/) [Jandy Nelson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jandy-nelson/) [Explore all 183 Jandy Nelson quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jandy-nelson/) ## More Bailey quotes > [Bailey might not have great intelligence or abilities, but his whole aim, thought and study was that of the born leader--to look out for…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/james-gould-cozzens/bailey-might-not-have-great-intelligence-or-abilities-but-his-whole/) [James Gould Cozzens](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/james-gould-cozzens/) > [“I continued to move my fingers across his skin exactly as I had before, but I needed to make a decision. I had reached…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jennifer-echols/i-continued-to-move-my-fingers-across-his-skin-exactly-as-i-had/) [Jennifer Echols](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jennifer-echols/) > [“Nathan had to park his Honda a whole block from the party, which was a good thing for two reasons. First, it gave Bailey…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kody-keplinger/nathan-had-to-park-his-honda-a-whole-block-from-the-party-which-was-a/) [Kody Keplinger](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kody-keplinger/) > [“There are times like that bailey. Time you don't think you can take it anymore. But then you discover that you can. You always…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/amy-harmon/there-are-times-like-that-bailey-time-you-don-t-think-you-can-take-it/) [Amy Harmon](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/amy-harmon/) > [“Bailey didn't notice the absence of abuse until it was time to go through it again.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wayne-lemmons/bailey-didn-t-notice-the-absence-of-abuse-until-it-was-time-to-go/) Wayne Lemmons > [Glenda Bailey is a woman after my own heart who believes that climbing the career ladder can be overrated, to say the least. After…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/amanda-de-cadenet/glenda-bailey-is-a-woman-after-my-own-heart-who-believes-that/) [Amanda de Cadenet](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/amanda-de-cadenet/) > [“I was playing with fire right now and I didn’t really care if I got burned. - Oliver Bailey”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/melissa-bender/i-was-playing-with-fire-right-now-and-i-didn-t-really-care-if-i-got/) [Melissa Bender](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/melissa-bender/) > [“No one mentioned his(Bailey's) absence as if things were as they should be and always were.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/maya-angelou/no-one-mentioned-his-bailey-s-absence-as-if-things-were-as-they/) [Maya Angelou](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/maya-angelou/) > [“Bailey hung her head for a moment, and”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/karen-kingsbury/bailey-hung-her-head-for-a-moment-and/) [Karen Kingsbury](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/karen-kingsbury/) > [“I read for someone a week ago,” she says. “He was young, younger than I was when I met you. Tall in the way…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/erin-morgenstern/i-read-for-someone-a-week-ago-she-says-he-was-young-younger-than-i/) [Erin Morgenstern](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/erin-morgenstern/) > [“Sam was creative and dedicated, but his wasn't the plodding bright-and-early work ethic of the morning person, like mine. It was the crazy creative…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jennifer-echols/sam-was-creative-and-dedicated-but-his-wasn-t-the-plodding-bright-and/) [Jennifer Echols](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jennifer-echols/) > [...He is sure that the Bailey he is now is closer to the Bailey he is supposed to be than the Bailey he had…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/erin-morgenstern/he-is-sure-that-the-bailey-he-is-now-is-closer-to-the-bailey-he-is/) [Erin Morgenstern](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/erin-morgenstern/) > [“There isn't heartache if there hasn't been joy. I wouldn't feel loss if there hadn't been love. You couldn't take my pain away without…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/amy-harmon/there-isn-t-heartache-if-there-hasn-t-been-joy-i-wouldn-t-feel-loss-2/) [Amy Harmon](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/amy-harmon/) > [“I don't care if the whole town comes, as long as you come, Bailey boy.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sharon-creech/i-don-t-care-if-the-whole-town-comes-as-long-as-you-come-bailey-boy/) [Sharon Creech](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sharon-creech/) > [“He could write an epic poem about her ass. And all the ways he wanted to defile it.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/r-g-alexander/he-could-write-an-epic-poem-about-her-ass-and-all-the-ways-he-wanted/) [R.G. Alexander](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/r-g-alexander/) [Browse all 33 Bailey quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/bailey/) ```json { "@context": "https://schema.org", "@graph": [ { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "“Everyone has always said I look like Bailey, but I don't. I have grey eyes to her green, an oval face to her heart-shaped one, I'm shorter, scrawnier, paler, flatter, plainer, tamer. All we shared is a madhouse of curls that I imprison in a ponytail while she let hers rave like madness around her head. I don't sing in my sleep or eat the petals off flowers or run into the rain instead of out of it. I'm the unplugged-in one, the side-kick sister, tucked into a corner of her shadow. Boys followed her everywhere; they filled the booths at the restaurant where she waitressed, herded around her at the river. One day, I saw a boy come up behind her and pull a strand of her long hair I understood this- I felt the same way. 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