--- title: "Meaning & Key Takeaway of: It’s not the sort of thing romantics wish…" description: "\"“It’s not the sort of thing romantics wish to hear, but I found that in the end, love must be a kind of discipline. If we love only with our feelings, ..." image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/b1d/jan-karon-2637_discipline_it-s-not-the-sort-of-thing-romantics-wis_1401847.png" --- # It’s not the sort of thing romantics wish to hear, but I… ![“It’s not the sort of thing romantics wish to hear, but I found that in the end, love must be a kind of discipline. If we love only with our feelings, we’re sunk—we may feel love one day and something quite other the next. Soon after he came to live with me—he was eleven years old at the time—I…” quote by Jan Karon](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/b1d/jan-karon-2637_discipline_it-s-not-the-sort-of-thing-romantics-wis_1401847.png) [Download](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/b1d/jan-karon-2637_discipline_it-s-not-the-sort-of-thing-romantics-wis_1401847.png) [Open image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/b1d/jan-karon-2637_discipline_it-s-not-the-sort-of-thing-romantics-wis_1401847.png) > ““It’s not the sort of thing romantics wish to hear, but I found that in the end, love must be a kind of discipline. If we love only with our feelings, we’re sunk—we may feel love one day and something quite other the next. Soon after he came to live with me—he was eleven years old at the time—I realized I must learn to love with my will, not my feelings.”” [Jan Karon](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jan-karon/) ## About This Quote This interpretation was drafted with AI assistance. It is one reading of the quote, not the author's own explanation. Love requires intentional effort beyond fleeting emotions; true commitment is a disciplined choice. **In simple terms:** Love needs discipline, not just feeling. Key Takeaway Cultivate love through conscious will. Themes love discipline commitment emotion relationships Mood reflective thoughtful Type philosophical inspirational When to use this quote - marriage - long‑term partnership - personal growth Key Concepts Willful affection emotional regulation relationship dynamics Questions to Reflect On - How can you practice love with intention? - What habits reinforce disciplined affection? A Different Perspective Purely emotional love can be unstable and unsustainable. ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ No ratings yet [Discipline](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/discipline/) [Feelings](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/feelings/) [Love](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/love/) [Love feelings](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/love-feelings/) ## Related quotes > [Even though we are not commit to each other, there's a thing that I always feel, the love as I could but never been…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/royeth-jarcia-gomeseria/even-though-we-are-not-commit-to-each-other-there-s-a-thing-that-i/) [Royeth Jarcia Gomeseria](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/royeth-jarcia-gomeseria/) > [I'm happy I found discipline, something I love, and I also found God.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jimi-manuwa/i-m-happy-i-found-discipline-something-i-love-and-i-also-found-god/) [Jimi Manuwa](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jimi-manuwa/) > [“When we really love and are loved, we are no longer free to act as we please, because we can't shake off the knowledge…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/norma-johnston/when-we-really-love-and-are-loved-we-are-no-longer-free-to-act-as-we/) Norma Johnston > [Love is all about risk taking. 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I love the schedule of pushing your body to an extreme and getting it to a particular type of physical…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jessica-biel/i-love-the-discipline-i-love-the-schedule-of-pushing-your-body-to-an/) [Jessica Biel](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jessica-biel/) > [Bob taught me extraordinary discipline and love.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ann-reinking/bob-taught-me-extraordinary-discipline-and-love/) [Ann Reinking](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ann-reinking/) > [There can be no true discipline without love...only compliance.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wes-fesler/there-can-be-no-true-discipline-without-love-only-compliance/) [Wes Fesler](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/wes-fesler/) > [We love to make sure all the boxes are checked - that we aren't just prepared but over-prepared before we raise our hand. It's…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/julie-foudy/we-love-to-make-sure-all-the-boxes-are-checked-that-we-aren-t-just/) [Julie Foudy](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/julie-foudy/) > [You don't discipline yourself to attain the feeling of love. You attain the feeling of love and then you want to discipline yourself because…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sivaya-subramuniyaswami/you-don-t-discipline-yourself-to-attain-the-feeling-of-love-you/) [Sivaya Subramuniyaswami](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sivaya-subramuniyaswami/) ## More by Jan Karon > [“In every way, un-forgiveness makes us the victim—”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jan-karon/in-every-way-un-forgiveness-makes-us-the-victim/) [Jan Karon](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jan-karon/) > [In Ireland there’s no such thing as bad weather ~~~ only the wrong clothes. (In the Company of Others)](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jan-karon/in-ireland-there-s-no-such-thing-as-bad-weather-only-the-wrong/) [Jan Karon](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jan-karon/) > [“Sorrow and joy, he thought, so inextricably entwined that he could scarcely tell where one left off and the other began.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jan-karon/sorrow-and-joy-he-thought-so-inextricably-entwined-that-he-could/) [Jan Karon](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jan-karon/) > [“Maybe the best way to honor the deceased was to laugh with the living.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jan-karon/maybe-the-best-way-to-honor-the-deceased-was-to-laugh-with-the-living/) [Jan Karon](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jan-karon/) > [Paul said in the second epistle...the time is coming when people will not put up with sound doctrine...they will accumulate for themselves teachers to…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jan-karon/paul-said-in-the-second-epistle-the-time-is-coming-when-people-will/) [Jan Karon](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jan-karon/) > [This is a gift that God has given me. 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One leads to another. In no time at all, you’ve gone through a bagful.”…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jan-karon/for-one-thing-telling-a-lie-is-like-eating-peanuts-one-leads-to/) [Jan Karon](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jan-karon/) > [“And so I enjoyed the warm feelings, the stuff of the heart, when it was present between us, as it sometimes was, even in…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jan-karon/and-so-i-enjoyed-the-warm-feelings-the-stuff-of-the-heart-when-it-was/) [Jan Karon](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jan-karon/) > [“One of the things that makes a dead leaf fall to the ground is the bud of the new leaf that pushes it off…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jan-karon/one-of-the-things-that-makes-a-dead-leaf-fall-to-the-ground-is-the/) [Jan Karon](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jan-karon/) > [“He’d been amped for a long time; actually, everybody he knew was amped. 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They . . . open their hands halfway,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jan-karon/all-people-are-children-when-they-sleep-there-s-no-war-in-them-then/) [Jan Karon](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jan-karon/) [Explore all 156 Jan Karon quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jan-karon/) ## More Discipline quotes > [Christianity was never meant to be defined by its disciplines, but by its passions.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bill-johnson/christianity-was-never-meant-to-be-defined-by-its-disciplines-but-by/) [Bill Johnson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bill-johnson/) > [Grit and self-control are related, but they're not the same thing.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/angela-duckworth/grit-and-self-control-are-related-but-they-re-not-the-same-thing/) [Angela Duckworth](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/angela-duckworth/) > [“Peace requires a discipline more iron than war. - Easter, 1939 ”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/w-j-turner/peace-requires-a-discipline-more-iron-than-war-easter-1939/) W.J. Turner > [You can't have the fruits without the roots. It's the principle of sequencing: Private Victories proceed Public Victories. Self-mastery and self-discipline are the foundation…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/stephen-covey/you-can-t-have-the-fruits-without-the-roots-it-s-the-principle-of/) [Stephen Covey](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/stephen-covey/) > [Like a child exploring the attic of an old house on a rainy day, discovering a trunk full of treasure and then calling all…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/eugene-h-peterson/like-a-child-exploring-the-attic-of-an-old-house-on-a-rainy-day/) [Eugene H. Peterson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/eugene-h-peterson/) > [Exercise teaches you the pleasure of discipline.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jane-fonda/exercise-teaches-you-the-pleasure-of-discipline/) [Jane Fonda](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jane-fonda/) > [I'm always writing. I'm an obsessive. It's not because I'm a disciplined person. It's because I'm crazy about it.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/hanif-kureishi/i-m-always-writing-i-m-an-obsessive-it-s-not-because-i-m-a/) [Hanif Kureishi](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/hanif-kureishi/) > [“I felt like praying or something, when I was in bed, but I couldn't do it. I can't always pray when I feel like…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/j-d-salinger/i-felt-like-praying-or-something-when-i-was-in-bed-but-i-couldn-t-do/) [J.D. Salinger](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/j-d-salinger/) > [The undisciplined child enters into discipline by working in the company of others; not being told he is naughty.” “Discipline is, therefore, primarily a…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/maria-montessori/the-undisciplined-child-enters-into-discipline-by-working-in-the/) [Maria Montessori](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/maria-montessori/) > [“Proverbs from the East: The wind howls, but the mountain remains still. Even though I make no special attempt to observe the discipline of…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/susan-cain/proverbs-from-the-east-the-wind-howls-but-the-mountain-remains-still/) [Susan Cain](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/susan-cain/) > [To behave creatively in art means behavior with skill; and skill comes from discipline, not derangement. The artist who knows the rules -and proportion…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/burne-hogarth/to-behave-creatively-in-art-means-behavior-with-skill-and-skill-comes/) Burne Hogarth > [Self-discipline is an act of cultivation. It require you to connect today's actions to tomorrow's results. 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Its only people who jump off the roller coaster who get hurt.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/paul-harvey/stay-in-your-seat-come-times-of-trouble-its-only-people-who-jump-off/) [Paul Harvey](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/paul-harvey/) [Browse all 5,597 Discipline quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/discipline/) ```json { "@context": "https://schema.org", "@graph": [ { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "“It’s not the sort of thing romantics wish to hear, but I found that in the end, love must be a kind of discipline. If we love only with our feelings, we’re sunk—we may feel love one day and something quite other the next. 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