--- title: "Meaning & Key Takeaway of: I learned over a long period of trial and…" description: "\"“I learned over a long period of trial and error to see in him what God made him to be. Wounded people use a lot of smoke and mirrors, they thrust the ..." image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/09f/jan-karon-2637_anger_i-learned-over-a-long-period-of-trial-an_1522960.png" --- # I learned over a long period of trial and error to see in… ![“I learned over a long period of trial and error to see in him what God made him to be. Wounded people use a lot of smoke and mirrors, they thrust the bitterness and rage out there like a shield. Then it becomes their banner, and finally, their weapon. But I stopped falling for the bitterness and…” quote by Jan Karon](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/09f/jan-karon-2637_anger_i-learned-over-a-long-period-of-trial-an_1522960.png) [Download](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/09f/jan-karon-2637_anger_i-learned-over-a-long-period-of-trial-an_1522960.png) [Open image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/09f/jan-karon-2637_anger_i-learned-over-a-long-period-of-trial-an_1522960.png) > ““I learned over a long period of trial and error to see in him what God made him to be. Wounded people use a lot of smoke and mirrors, they thrust the bitterness and rage out there like a shield. Then it becomes their banner, and finally, their weapon. But I stopped falling for the bitterness and rage. I didn’t stop knowing it was there—and there for a very good reason—but I stopped taking the bullet for it. With God’s help, I was able to start seeing through the smoke.”” [Jan Karon](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jan-karon/) ## About This Quote This interpretation was drafted with AI assistance. It is one reading of the quote, not the author's own explanation. Through patience, she learns to see beyond a person’s anger, recognizing it as a shield rather than a weapon. **In simple terms:** Don’t let anger control you; see past it. Key Takeaway Practice empathy and avoid internalizing others’ bitterness. Themes empathy self‑control spiritual growth psychology Mood hopeful calm Type spiritual self‑help When to use this quote - conflict resolution - counseling - personal meditation Key Concepts defense mechanisms inner peace faith‑based coping Questions to Reflect On - How can you differentiate between a person’s anger and their true self? - What practices help you not absorb others’ negativity? A Different Perspective Overcoming deeply ingrained resentment can be difficult. ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ No ratings yet [Anger](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/anger/) [Bitterness](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/bitterness/) [Smoke and mirrors](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/smoke-and-mirrors/) [Trial and error](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/trial-and-error/) [Wounded](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/wounded/) ## Related quotes > [If you've been cheated on in a relationship, one of the most difficult things is to eventually learn about the multiple points of deception…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ariana-madix/if-you-ve-been-cheated-on-in-a-relationship-one-of-the-most-difficult/) [Ariana Madix](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ariana-madix/) > [“Perhaps she thought, this was the way everything in America actually was- all smoke and mirrors, with only illusions of grandeur.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dinaw-mengestu/perhaps-she-thought-this-was-the-way-everything-in-america-actually/) [Dinaw Mengestu](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dinaw-mengestu/) > [I like the idea that we build up these walls or rules or laws to maintain our reality, and when they fall away, you're…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sarah-mclachlan/i-like-the-idea-that-we-build-up-these-walls-or-rules-or-laws-to-2/) [Sarah McLachlan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sarah-mclachlan/) > [I liked the idea of having actual magic performed as stage magic, so you could assume that it was just a trick, that something…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/erin-morgenstern/i-liked-the-idea-of-having-actual-magic-performed-as-stage-magic-so/) [Erin Morgenstern](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/erin-morgenstern/) > [I have realized that mystery is what keeps people away, and I've grown tired of smoke and mirrors. I yearn for the clean, well-lighted…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/amy-poehler/i-have-realized-that-mystery-is-what-keeps-people-away-and-i-ve-grown/) [Amy Poehler](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/amy-poehler/) > [“Even on the highest levels it was smoke and mirrors; everyone was furnishing a stage set.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/donna-tartt/even-on-the-highest-levels-it-was-smoke-and-mirrors-everyone-was/) [Donna Tartt](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/donna-tartt/) > [The true value of somebody in this town is very hard to determine. It's all smoke and mirrors.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mark-ruffalo/the-true-value-of-somebody-in-this-town-is-very-hard-to-determine-it/) [Mark Ruffalo](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mark-ruffalo/) > [I think good filmmaking is when you really hold the mirror up truthfully, and you don't angle it and you don't hide things with…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/charlize-theron/i-think-good-filmmaking-is-when-you-really-hold-the-mirror-up/) [Charlize Theron](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/charlize-theron/) > [If Hip Hop is all smoke and mirrors, then I'm the Windex and a napkin New dudes is whack, some vet's is has-been's Some…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/joe-budden/if-hip-hop-is-all-smoke-and-mirrors-then-i-m-the-windex-and-a-napkin/) [Joe Budden](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/joe-budden/) > [I should've been following my first instinct, I would've stayed so far away from you. But you decieved me, had me believing that every…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/i-should-ve-been-following-my-first-instinct-i-would-ve-stayed-so-far/) [Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/) > [“It was a life lesson I learned way too early. Pick your heart up off the floor when it was smashed, put it back…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/adriana-locke/it-was-a-life-lesson-i-learned-way-too-early-pick-your-heart-up-off/) [Adriana Locke](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/adriana-locke/) > [“That was what it meant to be a woman: to live in an unbearable agony hidden for a time behind smoke and mirrors.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mary-pauline-lowry/that-was-what-it-meant-to-be-a-woman-to-live-in-an-unbearable-agony/) Mary Pauline Lowry > [“The past is as ephemeral as the future—it’s all perspective and smoke and mirrors.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sarah-pinborough/the-past-is-as-ephemeral-as-the-future-it-s-all-perspective-and-smoke/) [Sarah Pinborough](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sarah-pinborough/) > [She wished she hadn't succumbed to irritation. Because she wanted to know about his inner feelings. She always thought people were like pieces of…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/christina-dodd/she-wished-she-hadn-t-succumbed-to-irritation-because-she-wanted-to/) [Christina Dodd](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/christina-dodd/) > [“Life was a sham. Smoke and mirrors hid the dysfunctional lives all of us lived.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/tiffany-king/life-was-a-sham-smoke-and-mirrors-hid-the-dysfunctional-lives-all-of/) [Tiffany King](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/tiffany-king/) ## More by Jan Karon > [“In every way, un-forgiveness makes us the victim—”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jan-karon/in-every-way-un-forgiveness-makes-us-the-victim/) [Jan Karon](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jan-karon/) > [In Ireland there’s no such thing as bad weather ~~~ only the wrong clothes. (In the Company of Others)](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jan-karon/in-ireland-there-s-no-such-thing-as-bad-weather-only-the-wrong/) [Jan Karon](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jan-karon/) > [“Sorrow and joy, he thought, so inextricably entwined that he could scarcely tell where one left off and the other began.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jan-karon/sorrow-and-joy-he-thought-so-inextricably-entwined-that-he-could/) [Jan Karon](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jan-karon/) > [“Maybe the best way to honor the deceased was to laugh with the living.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jan-karon/maybe-the-best-way-to-honor-the-deceased-was-to-laugh-with-the-living/) [Jan Karon](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jan-karon/) > [Paul said in the second epistle...the time is coming when people will not put up with sound doctrine...they will accumulate for themselves teachers to…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jan-karon/paul-said-in-the-second-epistle-the-time-is-coming-when-people-will/) [Jan Karon](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jan-karon/) > [This is a gift that God has given me. I'm not smart enough to write for everybody, but it's the love in these books…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jan-karon/this-is-a-gift-that-god-has-given-me-i-m-not-smart-enough-to-write/) [Jan Karon](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jan-karon/) > [Publishing is, by its nature, about deadlines, and deadlines are toxic.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jan-karon/publishing-is-by-its-nature-about-deadlines-and-deadlines-are-toxic/) [Jan Karon](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jan-karon/) > [The firefly only shines when on the wing, So it is with us--when we stop, we darken.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jan-karon/the-firefly-only-shines-when-on-the-wing-so-it-is-with-us-when-we/) [Jan Karon](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jan-karon/) > [“Thank you, God, for second chances,”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jan-karon/thank-you-god-for-second-chances/) [Jan Karon](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jan-karon/) > [“Fear is one of the Enemy’s deadliest strategies.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jan-karon/fear-is-one-of-the-enemy-s-deadliest-strategies/) [Jan Karon](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jan-karon/) > [“For one thing, telling a lie is like eating peanuts. One leads to another. In no time at all, you’ve gone through a bagful.”…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jan-karon/for-one-thing-telling-a-lie-is-like-eating-peanuts-one-leads-to/) [Jan Karon](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jan-karon/) > [“And so I enjoyed the warm feelings, the stuff of the heart, when it was present between us, as it sometimes was, even in…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jan-karon/and-so-i-enjoyed-the-warm-feelings-the-stuff-of-the-heart-when-it-was/) [Jan Karon](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jan-karon/) > [“One of the things that makes a dead leaf fall to the ground is the bud of the new leaf that pushes it off…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jan-karon/one-of-the-things-that-makes-a-dead-leaf-fall-to-the-ground-is-the/) [Jan Karon](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jan-karon/) > [“He’d been amped for a long time; actually, everybody he knew was amped. He would like to spend the rest of his life de-amping.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jan-karon/he-d-been-amped-for-a-long-time-actually-everybody-he-knew-was-amped/) [Jan Karon](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jan-karon/) > [“All people are children when they sleep. There’s no war in them then . . . They . . . open their hands halfway,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jan-karon/all-people-are-children-when-they-sleep-there-s-no-war-in-them-then/) [Jan Karon](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jan-karon/) [Explore all 156 Jan Karon quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jan-karon/) ## More Anger quotes > [“If I let myself think of it the pain and anger were still fresh, adrenalin racing down my limbs to pool, hot and itchy,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kylie-ladd/if-i-let-myself-think-of-it-the-pain-and-anger-were-still-fresh/) [Kylie Ladd](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kylie-ladd/) > [I receive something we might euphemistically call an 'inappropriately hostile' response - that is to say, more than fair criticism or even fair anger…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mary-beard/i-receive-something-we-might-euphemistically-call-an-inappropriately/) [Mary Beard](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mary-beard/) > [The vision of the left, full of envy and resentment, takes its worst toll on those at the bottom - whether black or white…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/thomas-sowell/the-vision-of-the-left-full-of-envy-and-resentment-takes-its-worst/) [Thomas Sowell](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/thomas-sowell/) > [Anger is a rough water; if you can canalize it into a water mill, you can benefit from it. Anything bad can be transformed…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mehmet-murat-ildan/anger-is-a-rough-water-if-you-can-canalize-it-into-a-water-mill-you/) [Mehmet Murat Ildan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mehmet-murat-ildan/) > [“Some say the Earth is angry Because he wants no company; I say the Earth is angry Because he lives alone.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/n-k-jemisin/some-say-the-earth-is-angry-because-he-wants-no-company-i-say-the/) [N.K. Jemisin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/n-k-jemisin/) > [“When you feel terribly angry, you're possessed by anger ghost.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/toba-beta/when-you-feel-terribly-angry-you-re-possessed-by-anger-ghost/) [Toba Beta](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/toba-beta/) > [“Medical studies have shown that cursing reduces levels of stress and pain. Repressing your anger is not healthy. It's much better to verbalize it,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/oliver-markus-malloy/medical-studies-have-shown-that-cursing-reduces-levels-of-stress-and/) [Oliver Markus Malloy](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/oliver-markus-malloy/) > [My care will be in the heart n not in words My anger will be in Words n not in the Heart](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ritu-ghatourey/my-care-will-be-in-the-heart-n-not-in-words-my-anger-will-be-in-words/) [Ritu Ghatourey](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ritu-ghatourey/) > [You should be angry. You must not be bitter. Bitterness is like cancer. It eats upon the host. It doesn't do anything to the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/maya-angelou/you-should-be-angry-you-must-not-be-bitter-bitterness-is-like-cancer/) [Maya Angelou](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/maya-angelou/) > [To be a Negro in this country and to be relatively conscious is to be in a rage almost all the time.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/to-be-a-negro-in-this-country-and-to-be-relatively-conscious-is-to-be/) [Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/) > [“God, you had enough time to have been through it three times. You've been through my stuff. I bet you over and let one…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/stephen-king/god-you-had-enough-time-to-have-been-through-it-three-times-you-ve/) [Stephen King](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/stephen-king/) > [The present contains nothing more than the past, and what is found in the effect was already in the cause.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/henri-bergson/the-present-contains-nothing-more-than-the-past-and-what-is-found-in/) [Henri Bergson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/henri-bergson/) > [Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/steven-wright/depression-is-merely-anger-without-enthusiasm/) [Steven Wright](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/steven-wright/) > [I always fight better when my opponent's angry.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/david-haye/i-always-fight-better-when-my-opponent-s-angry/) [David Haye](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/david-haye/) > [ “Where there are kashays (anger-pride-deceit-greed), there is worldly life. As long as anger-pride-deceit-greed exist; one is a sansaari \[living a worldly life\] regardless of… ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dada-bhagwan/where-there-are-kashays-anger-pride-deceit-greed-there-is-worldly/) [Dada Bhagwan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dada-bhagwan/) [Browse all 7,469 Anger quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/anger/) ```json { "@context": "https://schema.org", "@graph": [ { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "“I learned over a long period of trial and error to see in him what God made him to be. Wounded people use a lot of smoke and mirrors, they thrust the bitterness and rage out there like a shield. Then it becomes their banner, and finally, their weapon. But I stopped falling for the bitterness and rage. I didn’t stop knowing it was there—and there for a very good reason—but I stopped taking the bullet for it. 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