---
title: "Meaning & Key Takeaway of: Peace requires us to surrender our…"
description: "\"Peace requires us to surrender our illusions of control. We can love and care for others but we cannot possess our children, lovers, family, or friends..."
image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/dbe/jack-kornfield-936_action_peace-requires-us-to-surrender-our-illus_2278858.jpg"
---

#  Peace requires us to surrender our illusions of control…

![“Peace requires us to surrender our illusions of control. We can love and care for others but we cannot possess our children, lovers, family, or friends. We can assist them, pray for them, and wish them well, yet in the end their happiness and suffering depend on their thoughts and actions, not on…” quote by Jack Kornfield](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/dbe/jack-kornfield-936_action_peace-requires-us-to-surrender-our-illus_2278858.jpg)   [Download](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/dbe/jack-kornfield-936_action_peace-requires-us-to-surrender-our-illus_2278858.jpg) [Open image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/dbe/jack-kornfield-936_action_peace-requires-us-to-surrender-our-illus_2278858.jpg)

> “Peace requires us to surrender our illusions of control. We can love and care for others but we cannot possess our children, lovers, family, or friends. We can assist them, pray for them, and wish them well, yet in the end their happiness and suffering depend on their thoughts and actions, not on our wishes.”

[Jack Kornfield](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jack-kornfield/)

## About This Quote

This interpretation was drafted with AI assistance. It is one reading of the quote, not the author's own explanation.

True peace comes from letting go of the belief that we can control others; love is about support, not possession.

**In simple terms:** Peace needs letting go of control over others.

Key Takeaway

Practice non‑attachment in relationships.

Themes

compassion non‑attachment relationships

Mood

calm reflective

Type

spiritual advice philosophical

When to use this quote

- parenting
- marriage
- friendships
- counseling
- spiritual guidance

Key Concepts

mindfulness interdependence acceptance

Questions to Reflect On

- How can you support loved ones without trying to control them?
- What does non‑attachment look like in daily life?

A Different Perspective

Control is often necessary for safety or planning, which can conflict with non‑attachment.

★ ★ ★ ★ ★   No ratings yet

[Action](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/action/) [Care](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/care/) [Care For Others](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/care-for-others/) [Children](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/children/) [Illusion](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/illusion/) [Love and care](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/love-and-care/) [Lovers](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/lovers/) [Peace](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/peace/) [Praying](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/praying/) [Suffering](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/suffering/) [Surrender](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/surrender/) [Thoughts and actions](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/thoughts-and-actions/) [Wish](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/wish/)

## Related quotes

> [Peace requires us to surrender our illusions of control.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jack-kornfield/peace-requires-us-to-surrender-our-illusions-of-control/)

[Jack Kornfield](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jack-kornfield/)

> [The very best reason parents are so special . . . is because we are the holders of a priceless gift, a gift we…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/fred-rogers/the-very-best-reason-parents-are-so-special-is-because-we-are-the/)

[Fred Rogers](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/fred-rogers/)

> [Sabbath requires surrender. If we only stop when we are finished with all our work, we will never stop, because our work is never…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wayne-muller/sabbath-requires-surrender-if-we-only-stop-when-we-are-finished-with/)

[Wayne Muller](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/wayne-muller/)

> [Acted drama requires surrender of one's self, sympathetic absorption in the play as it develops.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/acted-drama-requires-surrender-of-one-s-self-sympathetic-absorption/)

[Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/)

> [“When God requires us to surrender one dream, it’s because He wants to hand us a bigger and better one.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mandy-hale/when-god-requires-us-to-surrender-one-dream-it-s-because-he-wants-to/)

[Mandy Hale](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mandy-hale/)

> [Social peace requires reciprocity.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ralph-peters/social-peace-requires-reciprocity/)

[Ralph Peters](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ralph-peters/)

> [The business of peace requires more than showing up with paint brushes, foodstuffs and an oil pipeline or two.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/tony-snow/the-business-of-peace-requires-more-than-showing-up-with-paint/)

[Tony Snow](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/tony-snow/)

> [Those who live as though God sets the rules are not going by their own rules. That is the self-sacrifice, or selflessness, that peace…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/criss-jami/those-who-live-as-though-god-sets-the-rules-are-not-going-by-their/)

[Criss Jami](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/criss-jami/)

> [Peace requires everyone to be in the circle - wholeness, inclusion.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/isabel-allende/peace-requires-everyone-to-be-in-the-circle-wholeness-inclusion/)

[Isabel Allende](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/isabel-allende/)

> [“Peace requires a discipline more iron than war. - Easter, 1939 ”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/w-j-turner/peace-requires-a-discipline-more-iron-than-war-easter-1939/)

W.J. Turner

> [We must think differently, look at things in a different way. Peace requires a world of new concepts, new definitions.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/yitzhak-rabin/we-must-think-differently-look-at-things-in-a-different-way-peace/)

[Yitzhak Rabin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/yitzhak-rabin/)

> [Peace is something more than the absence of war, although some nations would be thankful for that alone today. A durable and equitable peace…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/willy-brandt/peace-is-something-more-than-the-absence-of-war-although-some-nations/)

[Willy Brandt](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/willy-brandt/)

> [In a nuclear war there would be no victors, only victims. The truth of peace requires that all ... strive for a progressive and…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/pope-benedict-xvi/in-a-nuclear-war-there-would-be-no-victors-only-victims-the-truth-of/)

[Pope Benedict XVI](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/pope-benedict-xvi/)

> [There is a dream that the world could be at peace, but that requires that all the folks with arms disarm, or take over…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/giancarlo-esposito/there-is-a-dream-that-the-world-could-be-at-peace-but-that-requires/)

[Giancarlo Esposito](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/giancarlo-esposito/)

> [Opting for peace does not mean a passive acquiescence to evil or compromise of principle. It demands an active struggle against hatred, oppression and…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/pope-john-paul-ii/opting-for-peace-does-not-mean-a-passive-acquiescence-to-evil-or/)

[Pope John Paul II](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/pope-john-paul-ii/)

## More by Jack Kornfield

> [“When we let go of our battles and open our heart to things as they are, then we come to rest in the present…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jack-kornfield/when-we-let-go-of-our-battles-and-open-our-heart-to-things-as-they/)

[Jack Kornfield](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jack-kornfield/)

> [In opening we can see how many times we have mistaken small identities and fearful beliefs for our true nature and how limiting this…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jack-kornfield/in-opening-we-can-see-how-many-times-we-have-mistaken-small/)

[Jack Kornfield](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jack-kornfield/)

> [Wherever you are is the perfect place to awaken. This moment is the exact place to practice compassion and loving awareness. You have all…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jack-kornfield/wherever-you-are-is-the-perfect-place-to-awaken-this-moment-is-the/)

[Jack Kornfield](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jack-kornfield/)

> [Acceptance does not mean inaction. We may need to respond, strongly at times...From a peaceful center we can respond instead of react. Unconscious reactions…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jack-kornfield/acceptance-does-not-mean-inaction-we-may-need-to-respond-strongly-at/)

[Jack Kornfield](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jack-kornfield/)

> [To live in this precious animal body on this earth is as great a part of spiritual life as anything else.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jack-kornfield/to-live-in-this-precious-animal-body-on-this-earth-is-as-great-a-part/)

[Jack Kornfield](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jack-kornfield/)

> [We do not have to improve ourselves; we just have to let go of what blocks our heart.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jack-kornfield/we-do-not-have-to-improve-ourselves-we-just-have-to-let-go-of-what/)

[Jack Kornfield](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jack-kornfield/)

> [To open deeply, as genuine spiritual life requires, we need tremendous courage and strength, a kind of warrior spirit.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jack-kornfield/to-open-deeply-as-genuine-spiritual-life-requires-we-need-tremendous/)

[Jack Kornfield](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jack-kornfield/)

> [As we step out of the way new things are born.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jack-kornfield/as-we-step-out-of-the-way-new-things-are-born/)

[Jack Kornfield](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jack-kornfield/)

> [For most of us, generosity is a quality that must be developed. We have to respect that it will grow gradually; otherwise our spirituality…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jack-kornfield/for-most-of-us-generosity-is-a-quality-that-must-be-developed-we-have/)

[Jack Kornfield](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jack-kornfield/)

> [What is truly a part of our spiritual path is that which brings us alive. If gardening brings us alive, that is part of…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jack-kornfield/what-is-truly-a-part-of-our-spiritual-path-is-that-which-brings-us/)

[Jack Kornfield](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jack-kornfield/)

> [“Working with these distractions, steadying the canoe, letting the waves pass by, and coming back again and again in a quiet and collected way,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jack-kornfield/working-with-these-distractions-steadying-the-canoe-letting-the-waves/)

[Jack Kornfield](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jack-kornfield/)

> [To understand ourselves and our life is the point of insight meditation: to understand and to be free.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jack-kornfield/to-understand-ourselves-and-our-life-is-the-point-of-insight/)

[Jack Kornfield](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jack-kornfield/)

> [To let go in the deepest recesses of the heart, to release all struggle and wanting, leads us to that knowing which is timeless.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jack-kornfield/to-let-go-in-the-deepest-recesses-of-the-heart-to-release-all/)

[Jack Kornfield](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jack-kornfield/)

> [Wisdom says we are nothing. Love says we are everything. Between these two our life flows.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jack-kornfield/wisdom-says-we-are-nothing-love-says-we-are-everything-between-these/)

[Jack Kornfield](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jack-kornfield/)

> [Breathing meditation can quiet the mind, open the body, and develop a great power of concentration.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jack-kornfield/breathing-meditation-can-quiet-the-mind-open-the-body-and-develop-a/)

[Jack Kornfield](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jack-kornfield/)

[Explore all 324 Jack Kornfield quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jack-kornfield/)

## More Action quotes

> [I always say there are two things to be successful. The first is decide exactly what you want - set your goals - and…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/brian-tracy/i-always-say-there-are-two-things-to-be-successful-the-first-is/)

[Brian Tracy](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/brian-tracy/)

> [You'd be surprised how hard it can often be to translate an action into an idea.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/karl-kraus/you-d-be-surprised-how-hard-it-can-often-be-to-translate-an-action/)

[Karl Kraus](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/karl-kraus/)

> [Gratitude isn't just a feeling, it's an action. Expressing gratitude by writing in a journal, taking a photo, or shooting a video creates a…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/janice-kaplan/gratitude-isn-t-just-a-feeling-it-s-an-action-expressing-gratitude-by/)

[Janice Kaplan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/janice-kaplan/)

> [Nothing is so powerful as an insight into human nature... what compulsions drive a man, what instincts dominate his action. If you know these…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/william-bernbach/nothing-is-so-powerful-as-an-insight-into-human-nature-what/)

[William Bernbach](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/william-bernbach/)

> [Every thought I have imprisioned in expression I must free by my deeds](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kahlil-gibran/every-thought-i-have-imprisioned-in-expression-i-must-free-by-my-deeds/)

[Kahlil Gibran](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kahlil-gibran/)

> [It took me 20 years to buy an electric typewriter, because I was afraid it would be too sensitive. I like to bang the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/elmore-leonard/it-took-me-20-years-to-buy-an-electric-typewriter-because-i-was/)

[Elmore Leonard](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/elmore-leonard/)

> [Every action that helps us manifest our divine nature more and more is good; every action that retards it is evil.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/swami-vivekananda/every-action-that-helps-us-manifest-our-divine-nature-more-and-more/)

[Swami Vivekananda](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/swami-vivekananda/)

> [As you begin changing your thinking, start immediately to change your behaviour. Begin to act the part of the person you would like to…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/as-you-begin-changing-your-thinking-start-immediately-to-change-your/)

[Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/)

> [It's easy to say, let's go in and get the bad guys. But you have a divided country of Sunnis and Shias. The United…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/tulsi-gabbard/it-s-easy-to-say-let-s-go-in-and-get-the-bad-guys-but-you-have-a/)

[Tulsi Gabbard](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/tulsi-gabbard/)

> [For comedy action, I must know the language.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sammo-hung/for-comedy-action-i-must-know-the-language/)

[Sammo Hung](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sammo-hung/)

> [Believing with you that religion is a matter which lies solely between man and his God, that he owes account to none other for…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/thomas-jefferson/believing-with-you-that-religion-is-a-matter-which-lies-solely/)

[Thomas Jefferson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/thomas-jefferson/)

> [“Action is a powerful thing. When you smile through your sadness, it can completely change your outlook. Try it! Smile :) Now hold onto…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/leticia-rae/action-is-a-powerful-thing-when-you-smile-through-your-sadness-it-can/)

[Leticia Rae](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/leticia-rae/)

> [I reject criticism because the last thing I wanted was to sit there and look at people talking. I think people are conditioned to…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/matt-tyrnauer/i-reject-criticism-because-the-last-thing-i-wanted-was-to-sit-there/)

[Matt Tyrnauer](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/matt-tyrnauer/)

> [“I take my actions because of my passion not because of compulsion.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/amit-kalantri/i-take-my-actions-because-of-my-passion-not-because-of-compulsion/)

[Amit Kalantri](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/amit-kalantri/)

> [When the first Superman movie came out I was frequently asked "What is a hero?" ...My answer was that a hero is someone who…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/christopher-reeve/when-the-first-superman-movie-came-out-i-was-frequently-asked-what-is/)

[Christopher Reeve](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/christopher-reeve/)

[Browse all 14,940 Action quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/action/)

```json
{
    "@context": "https://schema.org",
    "@graph": [
        {
            "@type": "Quotation",
            "text": "Peace requires us to surrender our illusions of control. We can love and care for others but we cannot possess our children, lovers, family, or friends. We can assist them, pray for them, and wish them well, yet in the end their happiness and suffering depend on their thoughts and actions, not on our wishes.",
            "creator": {
                "@type": "Person",
                "name": "Jack Kornfield"
            },
            "isPartOf": {
                "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website"
            },
            "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jack-kornfield/peace-requires-us-to-surrender-our-illusions-of-control-we-can-love/",
            "about": {
                "@type": "Thing",
                "name": "Action"
            },
            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jack-kornfield/peace-requires-us-to-surrender-our-illusions-of-control-we-can-love/#quotation",
            "image": {
                "@type": "ImageObject",
                "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/dbe/jack-kornfield-936_action_peace-requires-us-to-surrender-our-illus_2278858.jpg",
                "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/dbe/jack-kornfield-936_action_peace-requires-us-to-surrender-our-illus_2278858.jpg",
                "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/dbe/jack-kornfield-936_action_peace-requires-us-to-surrender-our-illus_2278858.jpg",
                "width": 1080,
                "height": 1080,
                "caption": "“Peace requires us to surrender our illusions of control. We can love and care for others but we cannot…” — Jack Kornfield",
                "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes",
                "creator": {
                    "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization"
                }
            }
        },
        {
            "@type": "BreadcrumbList",
            "itemListElement": [
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 1,
                    "name": "Home",
                    "item": "https://sms4smile.com/"
                },
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 2,
                    "name": "Quotes",
                    "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/"
                },
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 3,
                    "name": "Jack Kornfield",
                    "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jack-kornfield/"
                },
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 4,
                    "name": "Peace requires us to surrender our...",
                    "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jack-kornfield/peace-requires-us-to-surrender-our-illusions-of-control-we-can-love/"
                }
            ],
            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jack-kornfield/peace-requires-us-to-surrender-our-illusions-of-control-we-can-love/#breadcrumb"
        },
        {
            "@type": "WebSite",
            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website",
            "name": "SMS4Smile Quotes",
            "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/",
            "publisher": {
                "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization"
            }
        },
        {
            "@type": "Organization",
            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization",
            "name": "SMS4Smile Quotes",
            "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/",
            "logo": {
                "@type": "ImageObject",
                "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wp-content/themes/sq/assets/icons/icon-512.png",
                "width": 512,
                "height": 512
            }
        }
    ]
}
```
