--- title: "Meaning & Key Takeaway of: One thing vampire children are taught is…" description: "\"One thing vampire children are taught is, never run with a wooden stake.\" — Jack Handey" image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/672/jack-handey-829_children_one-thing-vampire-children-are-taught-is_1154041.jpg" --- # One thing vampire children are taught is, never run with a… ![“One thing vampire children are taught is, never run with a wooden stake.” quote by Jack Handey](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/672/jack-handey-829_children_one-thing-vampire-children-are-taught-is_1154041.jpg) [Download](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/672/jack-handey-829_children_one-thing-vampire-children-are-taught-is_1154041.jpg) [Open image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/672/jack-handey-829_children_one-thing-vampire-children-are-taught-is_1154041.jpg) > “One thing vampire children are taught is, never run with a wooden stake.” [Jack Handey](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jack-handey/) ## About This Quote This interpretation was drafted with AI assistance. It is one reading of the quote, not the author's own explanation. A humorous warning that vampire children should avoid wooden stakes, playing on mythic tropes. **In simple terms:** Vampire kids shouldn't run with stakes. Key Takeaway Avoid dangerous myths. Themes humor myth safety Mood lighthearted playful Type comedic satirical When to use this quote - storytelling - children's games - fantasy writing Key Concepts folklore parody Questions to Reflect On - What myths do you teach children? - How can humor teach safety? A Different Perspective May be taken literally by younger audiences. ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ No ratings yet [Children](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/children/) [Running](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/running/) [Vampire](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/vampire/) ## Related quotes > [One thing vampire children have to be taught early on is, don't run with wooden stakes.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/one-thing-vampire-children-have-to-be-taught-early-on-is-don-t-run/) [Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/) > [“Establishing dominance early in the relationship is key. Vampire children are like human children in that they can sense weakness. They will wait for…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/molly-harper/establishing-dominance-early-in-the-relationship-is-key-vampire/) [Molly Harper](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/molly-harper/) > [“If there were such a thing as a vampire-puppy-dog, it would be Cecil. Big pleading eyes, asking for an ear-scratch and a nice warm…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/franny-billingsley/if-there-were-such-a-thing-as-a-vampire-puppy-dog-it-would-be-cecil/) [Franny Billingsley](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/franny-billingsley/) > [May I search it?" she asked. "We screen for weapons." I stared at her, always a risky thing to do to a vampire. "Of…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/charlaine-harris/may-i-search-it-she-asked-we-screen-for-weapons-i-stared-at-her/) [Charlaine Harris](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/charlaine-harris/) > [“I’m just trying to do the right thing. I’m a vampire.” “Duh.” “And you’re not.” “Again: duh.” “I could hurt you. I could lose…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alyxandra-harvey/i-m-just-trying-to-do-the-right-thing-i-m-a-vampire-duh-and-you-re/) [Alyxandra Harvey](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alyxandra-harvey/) > [“Well, hey, how come you never gave me a sword?" I asked, trying to lighten things up. "I get stuck with a lousy stick…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bree-despain/well-hey-how-come-you-never-gave-me-a-sword-i-asked-trying-to-lighten/) [Bree Despain](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bree-despain/) > [“Sometimes a wooden stake is just a wooden stake. - Vampire Sigmund Freud”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/frank-lesser/sometimes-a-wooden-stake-is-just-a-wooden-stake-vampire-sigmund-freud/) Frank Lesser > [“A wooden stake through the heart will kill just about anything. And if it doesn't, run like hell." -Kyrian”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sherrilyn-kenyon/a-wooden-stake-through-the-heart-will-kill-just-about-anything-and-if/) [Sherrilyn Kenyon](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sherrilyn-kenyon/) > [“I thought only a wooden stake through the heart killed a vampire. (Amanda) A wooden stake through the heart will kill just about anything.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sherrilyn-kenyon/i-thought-only-a-wooden-stake-through-the-heart-killed-a-vampire/) [Sherrilyn Kenyon](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sherrilyn-kenyon/) > [“You stick a wooden stake through the heart of your failures and they become successes.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/eddie-izzard/you-stick-a-wooden-stake-through-the-heart-of-your-failures-and-they/) [Eddie Izzard](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/eddie-izzard/) > [Instead of burning a guy at the stake, what about burning him at the STILTS It probably lasts longer, plus it moves around.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jack-handey/instead-of-burning-a-guy-at-the-stake-what-about-burning-him-at-the/) [Jack Handey](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jack-handey/) > [A big part of the problem that we face today is that our children have been taught at schools that every idea is right,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ed-royce/a-big-part-of-the-problem-that-we-face-today-is-that-our-children/) [Ed Royce](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ed-royce/) > [Krishna children were taught that in the spiritual world there were no parents, only souls and hence this justified their being kept out of…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mary-garden/krishna-children-were-taught-that-in-the-spiritual-world-there-were/) [Mary Garden](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mary-garden/) > [Children must be taught how to think, not what to think.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/margaret-mead/children-must-be-taught-how-to-think-not-what-to-think/) [Margaret Mead](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/margaret-mead/) > [It is so important that British children are taught about the World Wars that their great grandparents fought in and lived through. It was…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/vera-lynn/it-is-so-important-that-british-children-are-taught-about-the-world/) [Vera Lynn](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/vera-lynn/) ## More by Jack Handey > [Sometimes life seems like a dream, especially when I look down and see that I forgot to put on my pants.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jack-handey/sometimes-life-seems-like-a-dream-especially-when-i-look-down-and-see/) [Jack Handey](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jack-handey/) > [I think the best Thanksgiving we ever had was one where we didn't even have a turkey. Mom and Dad sat us kids down…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jack-handey/i-think-the-best-thanksgiving-we-ever-had-was-one-where-we-didn-t/) [Jack Handey](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jack-handey/) > [At first I thought, if I were Superman, a perfect secret identity would be "Clark Kent, Dentist," because you could save money on tooth…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jack-handey/at-first-i-thought-if-i-were-superman-a-perfect-secret-identity-would/) [Jack Handey](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jack-handey/) > [Sometimes I wonder if I'm patriotic enough. Yes, I want to kill people, but on both sides.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jack-handey/sometimes-i-wonder-if-i-m-patriotic-enough-yes-i-want-to-kill-people/) [Jack Handey](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jack-handey/) > [I don't understand people who say life is a mystery, because what is it they want to know?](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jack-handey/i-don-t-understand-people-who-say-life-is-a-mystery-because-what-is/) [Jack Handey](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jack-handey/) > [It's probably not a good idea to be chewing on a toothpick if you're talking to the president, because what if he tells a…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jack-handey/it-s-probably-not-a-good-idea-to-be-chewing-on-a-toothpick-if-you-re/) [Jack Handey](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jack-handey/) > [Probably to a shark, about the funniest thing there is is a wounded seal, trying to swim to shore, because WHERE DOES HE THINK…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jack-handey/probably-to-a-shark-about-the-funniest-thing-there-is-is-a-wounded/) [Jack Handey](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jack-handey/) > [I wish I lived back in the Old West days, because I'd save up my money for about twenty years so I could buy…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jack-handey/i-wish-i-lived-back-in-the-old-west-days-because-i-d-save-up-my-money/) [Jack Handey](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jack-handey/) > [Why do there have to be rules for everything? It's gotten to the point that rules dominate just about every aspect of our lives.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jack-handey/why-do-there-have-to-be-rules-for-everything-it-s-gotten-to-the-point/) [Jack Handey](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jack-handey/) > [Most people don't realize that large pieces of coral, which have been painted brown and attached to the skull by common wood screws, can…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jack-handey/most-people-don-t-realize-that-large-pieces-of-coral-which-have-been/) [Jack Handey](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jack-handey/) > [Here's a suggestion for a new animal, if some new ones get created or evolve: something that stings you, then laughs at you.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jack-handey/here-s-a-suggestion-for-a-new-animal-if-some-new-ones-get-created-or/) [Jack Handey](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jack-handey/) > [When you go ice-skating, try not to swing your arms too much, because that really annoys me.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jack-handey/when-you-go-ice-skating-try-not-to-swing-your-arms-too-much-because/) [Jack Handey](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jack-handey/) > [When you go to a party at somebody's house, don't automatically assume that the drinks are free. Ask, and ask often.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jack-handey/when-you-go-to-a-party-at-somebody-s-house-don-t-automatically-assume/) [Jack Handey](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jack-handey/) > [He was a cowboy, mister, and he loved the land. He loved it so much he made a woman out of dirt and married…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jack-handey/he-was-a-cowboy-mister-and-he-loved-the-land-he-loved-it-so-much-he/) [Jack Handey](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jack-handey/) > [If you were a gladiator in olden days, I bet the inefficiency of how the gladiator fights were organized and scheduled would just drive…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jack-handey/if-you-were-a-gladiator-in-olden-days-i-bet-the-inefficiency-of-how/) [Jack Handey](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jack-handey/) [Explore all 358 Jack Handey quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jack-handey/) ## More Children quotes > [I am certain that children always know more than they are able to tell, and that makes the big difference between them and adults,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jacques-lusseyran/i-am-certain-that-children-always-know-more-than-they-are-able-to/) [Jacques Lusseyran](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jacques-lusseyran/) > [Behind every successful child is an adult who believed in him.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/rick-warren/behind-every-successful-child-is-an-adult-who-believed-in-him/) [Rick Warren](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/rick-warren/) > [I believe in freedom to do what you want if you aren't hurting others, but pictures of obese protesters giving their children big gulps.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/philip-defranco/i-believe-in-freedom-to-do-what-you-want-if-you-aren-t-hurting-others/) [Philip DeFranco](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/philip-defranco/) > [If the audience likes your work, if they like you, they don't think whether you are married or have children or not. I made…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dimple-kapadia/if-the-audience-likes-your-work-if-they-like-you-they-don-t-think/) [Dimple Kapadia](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dimple-kapadia/) > [It doesnt seem to me strange that children should like the macabre, the sensational, and the forbidden.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anthony-hecht/it-doesnt-seem-to-me-strange-that-children-should-like-the-macabre/) [Anthony Hecht](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anthony-hecht/) > [Let children support their parents or be imprisoned.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/let-children-support-their-parents-or-be-imprisoned/) [Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/) > [Gratitude isn't just a feeling, it's an action. Expressing gratitude by writing in a journal, taking a photo, or shooting a video creates a…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/janice-kaplan/gratitude-isn-t-just-a-feeling-it-s-an-action-expressing-gratitude-by/) [Janice Kaplan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/janice-kaplan/) > [My embarrassing confession is that my father is a 'Camelot: The Musical' obsessive. So as a child, when we were going to visit relatives…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/chris-chibnall/my-embarrassing-confession-is-that-my-father-is-a-camelot-the-musical/) [Chris Chibnall](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/chris-chibnall/) > [I have many who keep me going, I am very fortunate in this sense. There is nothing like a child who knows more about…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/floyd-cooper/i-have-many-who-keep-me-going-i-am-very-fortunate-in-this-sense-there/) [Floyd Cooper](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/floyd-cooper/) > [My school was one of the most beautiful places a child can grow up in. You are surrounded by nature - cats, dogs, birds…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/amala-akkineni/my-school-was-one-of-the-most-beautiful-places-a-child-can-grow-up-in/) [Amala Akkineni](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/amala-akkineni/) > [A lesser complaint: hair extensions. There are moments on 'All My Children' when half the women actors, young and old, seem to be afflicted…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/camille-paglia/a-lesser-complaint-hair-extensions-there-are-moments-on-all-my/) [Camille Paglia](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/camille-paglia/) > [As a child, I had a lot of older gay men taking care of me. There's a trust there. I feel like little girls…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/margaret-cho/as-a-child-i-had-a-lot-of-older-gay-men-taking-care-of-me-there-s-a/) [Margaret Cho](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/margaret-cho/) > [If my child had prejudice in his head, I'd be ashamed. I would see it as my failure as a parent.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/salman-rushdie/if-my-child-had-prejudice-in-his-head-i-d-be-ashamed-i-would-see-it/) [Salman Rushdie](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/salman-rushdie/) > [“Children's lives are always beginning and adults' lives are always ending. Or is it the opposite? Your childhood is always ending and your adult…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alison-espach/children-s-lives-are-always-beginning-and-adults-lives-are-always/) [Alison Espach](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alison-espach/) > [As a child I was very involved with sports and I knew at age 9 that I wanted to be an Olympic champion.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/marion-jones/as-a-child-i-was-very-involved-with-sports-and-i-knew-at-age-9-that-i/) [Marion Jones](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/marion-jones/) [Browse all 62,396 Children quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/children/) ```json { "@context": "https://schema.org", "@graph": [ { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "One thing vampire children are taught is, never run with a wooden stake.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Jack Handey" }, "isPartOf": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jack-handey/one-thing-vampire-children-are-taught-is-never-run-with-a-wooden-stake/", "about": { "@type": "Thing", "name": "Children" }, "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jack-handey/one-thing-vampire-children-are-taught-is-never-run-with-a-wooden-stake/#quotation", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/672/jack-handey-829_children_one-thing-vampire-children-are-taught-is_1154041.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/672/jack-handey-829_children_one-thing-vampire-children-are-taught-is_1154041.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/672/jack-handey-829_children_one-thing-vampire-children-are-taught-is_1154041.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“One thing vampire children are taught is, never run with a wooden stake.” — Jack Handey", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } }, { "@type": "BreadcrumbList", "itemListElement": [ { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 1, "name": "Home", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/" }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 2, "name": "Quotes", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/" }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 3, "name": "Jack Handey", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jack-handey/" }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 4, "name": "One thing vampire children are taught...", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jack-handey/one-thing-vampire-children-are-taught-is-never-run-with-a-wooden-stake/" } ], "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jack-handey/one-thing-vampire-children-are-taught-is-never-run-with-a-wooden-stake/#breadcrumb" }, { "@type": "WebSite", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website", "name": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/", "publisher": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } }, { "@type": "Organization", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization", "name": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/", "logo": { "@type": "ImageObject", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wp-content/themes/sq/assets/icons/icon-512.png", "width": 512, "height": 512 } } ] } ```