--- title: "Meaning & Key Takeaway of: Instead of burning a guy at the stake…" description: "\"Instead of burning a guy at the stake, what about burning him at the STILTS It probably lasts longer, plus it moves around.\" — Jack Handey" image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/ddb/jack-handey-829_birthday_instead-of-burning-a-guy-at-the-stake-wh_188725.jpg" --- # Instead of burning a guy at the stake, what about burning… ![“Instead of burning a guy at the stake, what about burning him at the STILTS It probably lasts longer, plus it moves around.” quote by Jack Handey](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/ddb/jack-handey-829_birthday_instead-of-burning-a-guy-at-the-stake-wh_188725.jpg) [Download](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/ddb/jack-handey-829_birthday_instead-of-burning-a-guy-at-the-stake-wh_188725.jpg) [Open image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/ddb/jack-handey-829_birthday_instead-of-burning-a-guy-at-the-stake-wh_188725.jpg) > “Instead of burning a guy at the stake, what about burning him at the STILTS It probably lasts longer, plus it moves around.” [Jack Handey](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jack-handey/) ## About This Quote This interpretation was drafted with AI assistance. It is one reading of the quote, not the author's own explanation. Suggesting a creative, albeit macabre, alternative to execution that prolongs suffering and adds spectacle. **In simple terms:** A darkly humorous twist on punishment. Key Takeaway Consider consequences of cruelty. Themes humor dark comedy ethics Mood dark ironic Type satirical provocative When to use this quote - writing jokes - social commentary - satire Key Concepts morality spectacle Questions to Reflect On - What does this say about societal desensitization? - How can humor address serious issues? A Different Perspective Violence is never justified. ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ No ratings yet [Birthday](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/birthday/) [Burning](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/burning/) [Burning Guy](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/burning-guy-1999820/) [Burning Stilts](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/burning-stilts-1999817/) [Guy](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/guy/) [Instead Burning](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/instead-burning-1999819/) [Lasts](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/lasts/) [Moving](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/moving/) [Plus](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/plus/) [Stake Burning](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/stake-burning-1999818/) [Stakes](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/stakes/) [Stilts](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/stilts/) ## Related quotes > [“Instead of burning the midnight oil, you should try selling it.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jarod-kintz/instead-of-burning-the-midnight-oil-you-should-try-selling-it/) [Jarod Kintz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jarod-kintz/) > [One thing vampire children are taught is, never run with a wooden stake.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jack-handey/one-thing-vampire-children-are-taught-is-never-run-with-a-wooden-stake/) [Jack Handey](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jack-handey/) > [I do not think very highly of Madame D'Arblay's books. The style is so strutting. She does so stalk about on Dr. Johnson's old…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mary-russell-mitford/i-do-not-think-very-highly-of-madame-d-arblay-s-books-the-style-is-so/) [Mary Russell Mitford](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mary-russell-mitford/) > [My favorite place that I've been to that most people haven't been to is the Golden Triangle in the northeast of Thailand, which is…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/arthur-frommer/my-favorite-place-that-i-ve-been-to-that-most-people-haven-t-been-to/) [Arthur Frommer](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/arthur-frommer/) > [I have a very close friend who is a brilliant clown, and I always wanted to do a show with him. So I did…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alan-tudyk/i-have-a-very-close-friend-who-is-a-brilliant-clown-and-i-always/) [Alan Tudyk](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alan-tudyk/) > [Processions that lack high stilts have nothing that catches the eye. What if my great-granddad had a pair that were twenty foot high, And…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/william-butler-yeats/processions-that-lack-high-stilts-have-nothing-that-catches-the-eye/) [William Butler Yeats](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/william-butler-yeats/) > [Any one may mouth out a passage with a theatrical cadence, or get upon stilts to tell his thoughts; but to write or speak…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/william-hazlitt/any-one-may-mouth-out-a-passage-with-a-theatrical-cadence-or-get-upon/) [William Hazlitt](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/william-hazlitt/) > [Ladies like improv stilts, and I think men like improv giant cocks. But one of the great things about improv is that you get…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/amy-poehler/ladies-like-improv-stilts-and-i-think-men-like-improv-giant-cocks-but/) [Amy Poehler](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/amy-poehler/) > [Natural rights is simple nonsense: natural and imprescriptible rights, rhetorical nonsense—nonsense upon stilts.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jeremy-bentham/natural-rights-is-simple-nonsense-natural-and-imprescriptible-rights/) [Jeremy Bentham](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jeremy-bentham/) > [“Martin was a thoroughly amiable man, a man of wide reading, but when he came to write he mounted upon a pair of stilts,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/patrick-o-brian/martin-was-a-thoroughly-amiable-man-a-man-of-wide-reading-but-when-he/) [Patrick O'Brian](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/patrick-o-brian/) > [Ambition is but avarice on stilts, and masked.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/walter-savage-landor/ambition-is-but-avarice-on-stilts-and-masked/) [Walter Savage Landor](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/walter-savage-landor/) > [“No matter that we may mount on stilts, we still must walk on our own legs. And on the highest throne in the world,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/michel-de-montaigne/no-matter-that-we-may-mount-on-stilts-we-still-must-walk-on-our-own/) [Michel de Montaigne](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/michel-de-montaigne/) > [Judge not man by his outward manifestation of faith; for some there are who tremblingly reach out shaking hands to the guidance of faith;…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/charles-lamb/judge-not-man-by-his-outward-manifestation-of-faith-for-some-there/) [Charles Lamb](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/charles-lamb/) > [Those who have made unhappy marriages walk on stilts, while the happy ones are on a level with the crowd. No one sees 'em!](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/pearl-mary-teresa-craigie/those-who-have-made-unhappy-marriages-walk-on-stilts-while-the-happy/) [Pearl Mary Teresa Craigie](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/pearl-mary-teresa-craigie/) > [“stilts, the ground floors given over to parking. It’s a good idea in this car-maddened city,”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/arundhati-roy/stilts-the-ground-floors-given-over-to-parking-it-s-a-good-idea-in/) [Arundhati Roy](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/arundhati-roy/) ## More by Jack Handey > [Sometimes life seems like a dream, especially when I look down and see that I forgot to put on my pants.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jack-handey/sometimes-life-seems-like-a-dream-especially-when-i-look-down-and-see/) [Jack Handey](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jack-handey/) > [I think the best Thanksgiving we ever had was one where we didn't even have a turkey. Mom and Dad sat us kids down…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jack-handey/i-think-the-best-thanksgiving-we-ever-had-was-one-where-we-didn-t/) [Jack Handey](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jack-handey/) > [At first I thought, if I were Superman, a perfect secret identity would be "Clark Kent, Dentist," because you could save money on tooth…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jack-handey/at-first-i-thought-if-i-were-superman-a-perfect-secret-identity-would/) [Jack Handey](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jack-handey/) > [Sometimes I wonder if I'm patriotic enough. Yes, I want to kill people, but on both sides.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jack-handey/sometimes-i-wonder-if-i-m-patriotic-enough-yes-i-want-to-kill-people/) [Jack Handey](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jack-handey/) > [I don't understand people who say life is a mystery, because what is it they want to know?](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jack-handey/i-don-t-understand-people-who-say-life-is-a-mystery-because-what-is/) [Jack Handey](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jack-handey/) > [It's probably not a good idea to be chewing on a toothpick if you're talking to the president, because what if he tells a…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jack-handey/it-s-probably-not-a-good-idea-to-be-chewing-on-a-toothpick-if-you-re/) [Jack Handey](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jack-handey/) > [Probably to a shark, about the funniest thing there is is a wounded seal, trying to swim to shore, because WHERE DOES HE THINK…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jack-handey/probably-to-a-shark-about-the-funniest-thing-there-is-is-a-wounded/) [Jack Handey](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jack-handey/) > [I wish I lived back in the Old West days, because I'd save up my money for about twenty years so I could buy…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jack-handey/i-wish-i-lived-back-in-the-old-west-days-because-i-d-save-up-my-money/) [Jack Handey](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jack-handey/) > [Why do there have to be rules for everything? It's gotten to the point that rules dominate just about every aspect of our lives.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jack-handey/why-do-there-have-to-be-rules-for-everything-it-s-gotten-to-the-point/) [Jack Handey](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jack-handey/) > [Most people don't realize that large pieces of coral, which have been painted brown and attached to the skull by common wood screws, can…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jack-handey/most-people-don-t-realize-that-large-pieces-of-coral-which-have-been/) [Jack Handey](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jack-handey/) > [Here's a suggestion for a new animal, if some new ones get created or evolve: something that stings you, then laughs at you.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jack-handey/here-s-a-suggestion-for-a-new-animal-if-some-new-ones-get-created-or/) [Jack Handey](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jack-handey/) > [When you go ice-skating, try not to swing your arms too much, because that really annoys me.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jack-handey/when-you-go-ice-skating-try-not-to-swing-your-arms-too-much-because/) [Jack Handey](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jack-handey/) > [When you go to a party at somebody's house, don't automatically assume that the drinks are free. Ask, and ask often.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jack-handey/when-you-go-to-a-party-at-somebody-s-house-don-t-automatically-assume/) [Jack Handey](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jack-handey/) > [He was a cowboy, mister, and he loved the land. He loved it so much he made a woman out of dirt and married…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jack-handey/he-was-a-cowboy-mister-and-he-loved-the-land-he-loved-it-so-much-he/) [Jack Handey](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jack-handey/) > [If you were a gladiator in olden days, I bet the inefficiency of how the gladiator fights were organized and scheduled would just drive…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jack-handey/if-you-were-a-gladiator-in-olden-days-i-bet-the-inefficiency-of-how/) [Jack Handey](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jack-handey/) [Explore all 358 Jack Handey quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jack-handey/) ## More Birthday quotes > [I had sort of had a 21st birthday when I was 17, 18 years old living in Japan. I had all of that stuff…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sarah-wright/i-had-sort-of-had-a-21st-birthday-when-i-was-17-18-years-old-living/) [Sarah Wright](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sarah-wright/) > [Spiritually, life is a festival, a celebration. Joy is of the essence of life;](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/agnivesh/spiritually-life-is-a-festival-a-celebration-joy-is-of-the-essence-of/) [Agnivesh](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/agnivesh/) > [Here is your third gift from Me once again..I had a fourth gift it was about me making a video telling you how much…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lilbear/here-is-your-third-gift-from-me-once-again-i-had-a-fourth-gift-it-was/) [LilBear](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lilbear/) > [To divide one's life by years is of course to tumble into a trap set by our own arithmetic. The calendar consents to carry…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/clifton-fadiman/to-divide-one-s-life-by-years-is-of-course-to-tumble-into-a-trap-set/) [Clifton Fadiman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/clifton-fadiman/) > [“Natales grate numeras? (Do you count your birthdays with gratitude?)”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/horace/natales-grate-numeras-do-you-count-your-birthdays-with-gratitude/) [Horace](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/horace/) > [“Jarod Kintz Day—it’s not just my birthday, but it should be a holiday that’s mandatory to celebrate, punishable by death if you don’t. It’ll…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jarod-kintz/jarod-kintz-day-it-s-not-just-my-birthday-but-it-should-be-a-holiday/) [Jarod Kintz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jarod-kintz/) > [May Lord bless you abundantly because a sweetheart like you deserves the best! Have a glorious and memorable Birthday!](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/may-lord-bless-you-abundantly-because-a-sweetheart-like-you-deserves/) [Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/) > [Happy Birthday To Me,I just turned twenty three(23),I want a new Puppy, And I'll name it Julie:) Chocolate cake anyone all I have leftover,,,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/becka-miller/happy-birthday-to-me-i-just-turned-twenty-three-23-i-want-a-new-puppy/) [Becka Miller](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/becka-miller/) > [I've always taken care of myself, and I'm a non-conformist, so I don't accept the negativity that comes with birthdays.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/rob-van-dam/i-ve-always-taken-care-of-myself-and-i-m-a-non-conformist-so-i-don-t/) [Rob Van Dam](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/rob-van-dam/) > [If you're going to do a job, do it right. If you're going to throw a birthday party, make it amazing. If you're going…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jimmy-john-liautaud/if-you-re-going-to-do-a-job-do-it-right-if-you-re-going-to-throw-a/) [Jimmy John Liautaud](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jimmy-john-liautaud/) > [On Father's Day, we again wish you all happy birthday.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ralph-kiner/on-father-s-day-we-again-wish-you-all-happy-birthday/) [Ralph Kiner](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ralph-kiner/) > [I got Mary pregnant and man that's all she wrote. And for my 19th birthday, I got a union card and a factory coat.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bruce-springsteen/i-got-mary-pregnant-and-man-that-s-all-she-wrote-and-for-my-19th/) [Bruce Springsteen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bruce-springsteen/) > [There's a vintage which comes with age and experience.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jon-bon-jovi/there-s-a-vintage-which-comes-with-age-and-experience/) [Jon Bon Jovi](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jon-bon-jovi/) > [When I turned 35, I thought, 'Mozart was dead at 36, so I set the bar: I'm going to start writing a book on…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/diana-gabaldon/when-i-turned-35-i-thought-mozart-was-dead-at-36-so-i-set-the-bar-i-m/) [Diana Gabaldon](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/diana-gabaldon/) > [Every day we have a special reason to make a good celebration! And that reason is our very existence!](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mehmet-murat-ildan/every-day-we-have-a-special-reason-to-make-a-good-celebration-and/) [Mehmet Murat Ildan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mehmet-murat-ildan/) [Browse all 2,984 Birthday quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/birthday/) ```json { "@context": "https://schema.org", "@graph": [ { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "Instead of burning a guy at the stake, what about burning him at the STILTS It probably lasts longer, plus it moves around.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Jack Handey" }, "isPartOf": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jack-handey/instead-of-burning-a-guy-at-the-stake-what-about-burning-him-at-the/", "about": { "@type": "Thing", "name": "Birthday" }, "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jack-handey/instead-of-burning-a-guy-at-the-stake-what-about-burning-him-at-the/#quotation", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/ddb/jack-handey-829_birthday_instead-of-burning-a-guy-at-the-stake-wh_188725.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/ddb/jack-handey-829_birthday_instead-of-burning-a-guy-at-the-stake-wh_188725.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/ddb/jack-handey-829_birthday_instead-of-burning-a-guy-at-the-stake-wh_188725.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“Instead of burning a guy at the stake, what about burning him at the STILTS It probably lasts longer, plus…” — Jack Handey", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } }, { "@type": "BreadcrumbList", "itemListElement": [ { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 1, "name": "Home", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/" }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 2, "name": "Quotes", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/" }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 3, "name": "Jack Handey", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jack-handey/" }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 4, "name": "Instead of burning a guy at...", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jack-handey/instead-of-burning-a-guy-at-the-stake-what-about-burning-him-at-the/" } ], "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jack-handey/instead-of-burning-a-guy-at-the-stake-what-about-burning-him-at-the/#breadcrumb" }, { "@type": "WebSite", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website", "name": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/", "publisher": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } }, { "@type": "Organization", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization", "name": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/", "logo": { "@type": "ImageObject", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wp-content/themes/sq/assets/icons/icon-512.png", "width": 512, "height": 512 } } ] } ```