--- title: "Meaning & Key Takeaway of: I wish I had a Kryptonite cross, because…" description: "\"I wish I had a Kryptonite cross, because then you could keep both Dracula AND Superman away.\" — Jack Handey" image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/dd0/jack-handey-829_comic_i-wish-i-had-a-kryptonite-cross-because_2867572.jpg" --- # I wish I had a Kryptonite cross, because then you could… ![“I wish I had a Kryptonite cross, because then you could keep both Dracula AND Superman away.” quote by Jack Handey](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/dd0/jack-handey-829_comic_i-wish-i-had-a-kryptonite-cross-because_2867572.jpg) [Download](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/dd0/jack-handey-829_comic_i-wish-i-had-a-kryptonite-cross-because_2867572.jpg) [Open image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/dd0/jack-handey-829_comic_i-wish-i-had-a-kryptonite-cross-because_2867572.jpg) > “I wish I had a Kryptonite cross, because then you could keep both Dracula AND Superman away.” [Jack Handey](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jack-handey/) ## About This Quote This interpretation was drafted with AI assistance. It is one reading of the quote, not the author's own explanation. A humorous wish for a Kryptonite cross to repel both Dracula and Superman, blending pop culture villains. **In simple terms:** Wishes for a cross to block villains. Key Takeaway Use humor to blend absurdities. Themes humor pop culture fantasy Mood playful lighthearted Type comedic satirical When to use this quote - creative writing - stand‑up - media satire - fan conventions Key Concepts comedic juxtaposition mythic symbolism Questions to Reflect On - What does this say about modern myth? - How does humor soften fear? ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ No ratings yet [Comic](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/comic/) [Cross Dracula](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/cross-dracula-3904708/) [Crosses](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/crosses/) [Dracula Superman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/dracula-superman-3904707/) [Inspirational](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/inspirational/) [Kryptonite](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/kryptonite/) [Kryptonite Cross](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/kryptonite-cross-3010483/) [Superman Away](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/superman-away-3904709/) [Wish](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/wish/) [Wish Kryptonite](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/wish-kryptonite-3010481/) ## Related quotes > [I wish I had a kryptonite cross, that way I could defeat superman and dracula at the same time](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/some-crazy-guy/i-wish-i-had-a-kryptonite-cross-that-way-i-could-defeat-superman-and/) [some Crazy Guy](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/some-crazy-guy/) > [We understand a person with problems, someone who is wrong about a lot of things in his or her life, who makes messes. We…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/tod-goldberg/we-understand-a-person-with-problems-someone-who-is-wrong-about-a-lot/) [Tod Goldberg](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/tod-goldberg/) > [For the record, if I were Superman, a pale, scrawny guy holding a guitar would be Kryptonite.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/tiffanie-debartolo/for-the-record-if-i-were-superman-a-pale-scrawny-guy-holding-a-guitar/) [Tiffanie DeBartolo](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/tiffanie-debartolo/) > [Just remember, their fans think their players are supermen. We'll we're the kryptonite, and we're going to win.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jim-larranaga/just-remember-their-fans-think-their-players-are-supermen-we-ll-we-re/) [Jim Larranaga](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jim-larranaga/) > [“Superman comics are a fable, not of strength, but of disintegration. They appeal to the preadolescent, (sic) mind not because they reiterate grandiose delusions,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/david-mamet/superman-comics-are-a-fable-not-of-strength-but-of-disintegration/) [David Mamet](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/david-mamet/) > [If I go crazy will you still call me superman? If I'm alive and well will you be there holding my hand?](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/3-doors-down/if-i-go-crazy-will-you-still-call-me-superman-if-i-m-alive-and-well/) [3 Doors Down](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/3-doors-down/) > [Fashion magazine disease articles. My personal Kryptonite.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/carolyn-crane/fashion-magazine-disease-articles-my-personal-kryptonite/) [Carolyn Crane](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/carolyn-crane/) > [Age to women is like Kryptonite to Superman.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kathy-lette/age-to-women-is-like-kryptonite-to-superman/) [Kathy Lette](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kathy-lette/) > [I liked "Superman/Batman: The Search for Kryptonite" because I really enjoyed the interaction between those two characters.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/henry-cavill/i-liked-superman-batman-the-search-for-kryptonite-because-i-really/) [Henry Cavill](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/henry-cavill/) > [In a fight against Juggernaut and Cassidy in their spacious castle basement, Cassidy mentions the word 'tomb' to the X-Men. That's all it took…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/seanbaby/in-a-fight-against-juggernaut-and-cassidy-in-their-spacious-castle/) [Seanbaby](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/seanbaby/) > [Because there’s a clock attached to every beautiful woman. From the second she comes into her own, she begins to decline, because she begins…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/paul-rudnick/because-there-s-a-clock-attached-to-every-beautiful-woman-from-the/) [Paul Rudnick](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/paul-rudnick/) > [I've just returned from my daughter's Halloween parade at grade school. She was supergirl - and she was perfect. And, even better, she still…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jonah-goldberg/i-ve-just-returned-from-my-daughter-s-halloween-parade-at-grade/) [Jonah Goldberg](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jonah-goldberg/) > [I am Superman. And the only thing that can kill Superman is Kryptonite. And Kryptonite doesn't exist.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/shaquille-o-neal/i-am-superman-and-the-only-thing-that-can-kill-superman-is-kryptonite/) [Shaquille O'Neal](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/shaquille-o-neal/) > [It turns out Superman is weak to Kryptonite and horses.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/zach-braff/it-turns-out-superman-is-weak-to-kryptonite-and-horses/) [Zach Braff](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/zach-braff/) > [Too often, in novels that are speculative, God is a kind of kryptonite, and that's about all that it is, and it goes back…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/stephen-king/too-often-in-novels-that-are-speculative-god-is-a-kind-of-kryptonite/) [Stephen King](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/stephen-king/) ## More by Jack Handey > [Sometimes life seems like a dream, especially when I look down and see that I forgot to put on my pants.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jack-handey/sometimes-life-seems-like-a-dream-especially-when-i-look-down-and-see/) [Jack Handey](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jack-handey/) > [I think the best Thanksgiving we ever had was one where we didn't even have a turkey. Mom and Dad sat us kids down…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jack-handey/i-think-the-best-thanksgiving-we-ever-had-was-one-where-we-didn-t/) [Jack Handey](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jack-handey/) > [At first I thought, if I were Superman, a perfect secret identity would be "Clark Kent, Dentist," because you could save money on tooth…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jack-handey/at-first-i-thought-if-i-were-superman-a-perfect-secret-identity-would/) [Jack Handey](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jack-handey/) > [Sometimes I wonder if I'm patriotic enough. Yes, I want to kill people, but on both sides.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jack-handey/sometimes-i-wonder-if-i-m-patriotic-enough-yes-i-want-to-kill-people/) [Jack Handey](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jack-handey/) > [I don't understand people who say life is a mystery, because what is it they want to know?](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jack-handey/i-don-t-understand-people-who-say-life-is-a-mystery-because-what-is/) [Jack Handey](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jack-handey/) > [It's probably not a good idea to be chewing on a toothpick if you're talking to the president, because what if he tells a…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jack-handey/it-s-probably-not-a-good-idea-to-be-chewing-on-a-toothpick-if-you-re/) [Jack Handey](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jack-handey/) > [Probably to a shark, about the funniest thing there is is a wounded seal, trying to swim to shore, because WHERE DOES HE THINK…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jack-handey/probably-to-a-shark-about-the-funniest-thing-there-is-is-a-wounded/) [Jack Handey](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jack-handey/) > [I wish I lived back in the Old West days, because I'd save up my money for about twenty years so I could buy…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jack-handey/i-wish-i-lived-back-in-the-old-west-days-because-i-d-save-up-my-money/) [Jack Handey](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jack-handey/) > [Why do there have to be rules for everything? It's gotten to the point that rules dominate just about every aspect of our lives.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jack-handey/why-do-there-have-to-be-rules-for-everything-it-s-gotten-to-the-point/) [Jack Handey](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jack-handey/) > [Most people don't realize that large pieces of coral, which have been painted brown and attached to the skull by common wood screws, can…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jack-handey/most-people-don-t-realize-that-large-pieces-of-coral-which-have-been/) [Jack Handey](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jack-handey/) > [Here's a suggestion for a new animal, if some new ones get created or evolve: something that stings you, then laughs at you.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jack-handey/here-s-a-suggestion-for-a-new-animal-if-some-new-ones-get-created-or/) [Jack Handey](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jack-handey/) > [When you go ice-skating, try not to swing your arms too much, because that really annoys me.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jack-handey/when-you-go-ice-skating-try-not-to-swing-your-arms-too-much-because/) [Jack Handey](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jack-handey/) > [When you go to a party at somebody's house, don't automatically assume that the drinks are free. Ask, and ask often.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jack-handey/when-you-go-to-a-party-at-somebody-s-house-don-t-automatically-assume/) [Jack Handey](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jack-handey/) > [He was a cowboy, mister, and he loved the land. He loved it so much he made a woman out of dirt and married…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jack-handey/he-was-a-cowboy-mister-and-he-loved-the-land-he-loved-it-so-much-he/) [Jack Handey](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jack-handey/) > [If you were a gladiator in olden days, I bet the inefficiency of how the gladiator fights were organized and scheduled would just drive…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jack-handey/if-you-were-a-gladiator-in-olden-days-i-bet-the-inefficiency-of-how/) [Jack Handey](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jack-handey/) [Explore all 358 Jack Handey quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jack-handey/) ## More Comic quotes > [Any incarnation of 'Batman' I am delighted to do.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/adam-west/any-incarnation-of-batman-i-am-delighted-to-do/) [Adam West](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/adam-west/) > [I always loved as a kid reading 'Spider-Man,' and the 'Fantastic Four' would show up... it was all about that larger universe.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/peyton-reed/i-always-loved-as-a-kid-reading-spider-man-and-the-fantastic-four/) [Peyton Reed](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/peyton-reed/) > [One of the key characteristics of the comic book medium is that it is not brought to life by just one voice.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jim-lee/one-of-the-key-characteristics-of-the-comic-book-medium-is-that-it-is/) [Jim Lee](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jim-lee/) > [I identify with Superman. I am adopted, I am an only child, and I love the idea that he comes from another world, that…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bryan-singer/i-identify-with-superman-i-am-adopted-i-am-an-only-child-and-i-love/) [Bryan Singer](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bryan-singer/) > [Before World War II, I was living a very cloistered existence, as most cartoonists do. The work I was pouring out did not come…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/will-eisner/before-world-war-ii-i-was-living-a-very-cloistered-existence-as-most/) [Will Eisner](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/will-eisner/) > [If you look at Marvel Comics, there are very few Marvel characters I would like to write.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/garth-ennis/if-you-look-at-marvel-comics-there-are-very-few-marvel-characters-i/) [Garth Ennis](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/garth-ennis/) > [The big problem for comic art is you don't want to overwork it. If a drawing is overworked it isn't funny. It's the spontaneity…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/edward-sorel/the-big-problem-for-comic-art-is-you-don-t-want-to-overwork-it-if-a/) [Edward Sorel](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/edward-sorel/) > [Leslie Stein's comics give readers privileged access to a complete and wholly original world of gently skewed wonders.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jim-woodring/leslie-stein-s-comics-give-readers-privileged-access-to-a-complete/) [Jim Woodring](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jim-woodring/) > [I've certainly seen a lot of my cartoonist friends embrace 'Little Lulu' in a much deeper way because their kids love it so much.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/seth/i-ve-certainly-seen-a-lot-of-my-cartoonist-friends-embrace-little/) [Seth](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/seth/) > [Batman doesn't have any superpowers. He's not superhuman. He's not super. So therefore he can't be a superhero.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/craig-silvey/batman-doesn-t-have-any-superpowers-he-s-not-superhuman-he-s-not/) [Craig Silvey](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/craig-silvey/) > [When I was writing 'Black Panther,' on one level, I was angry because DC would never let me write 'Batman,' so I was doing…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/christopher-priest/when-i-was-writing-black-panther-on-one-level-i-was-angry-because-dc/) [Christopher Priest](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/christopher-priest/) > [I was really into the first 'Spider-Man' films with Tobey Maguire, so it's pretty cool how it all came full circle.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jacob-batalon/i-was-really-into-the-first-spider-man-films-with-tobey-maguire-so-it/) [Jacob Batalon](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jacob-batalon/) > [Most men are secretly still mad at their mothers for throwing away their comic books. They would be valuable now.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/rita-rudner/most-men-are-secretly-still-mad-at-their-mothers-for-throwing-away/) [Rita Rudner](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/rita-rudner/) > [I'll only diet for a Marvel movie. I will give up bacon and waffles to be Storm.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/janelle-james/i-ll-only-diet-for-a-marvel-movie-i-will-give-up-bacon-and-waffles-to/) [Janelle James](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/janelle-james/) > [You've seen the first issue and what happened in the last page. Some pretty awful stuff. I don't know why I seem to be…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/declan-shalvey/you-ve-seen-the-first-issue-and-what-happened-in-the-last-page-some/) [Declan Shalvey](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/declan-shalvey/) [Browse all 5,841 Comic quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/comic/) ```json { "@context": "https://schema.org", "@graph": [ { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "I wish I had a Kryptonite cross, because then you could keep both Dracula AND Superman away.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Jack Handey" }, "isPartOf": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jack-handey/i-wish-i-had-a-kryptonite-cross-because-then-you-could-keep-both/", "about": { "@type": "Thing", "name": "Comic" }, "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jack-handey/i-wish-i-had-a-kryptonite-cross-because-then-you-could-keep-both/#quotation", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/dd0/jack-handey-829_comic_i-wish-i-had-a-kryptonite-cross-because_2867572.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/dd0/jack-handey-829_comic_i-wish-i-had-a-kryptonite-cross-because_2867572.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/dd0/jack-handey-829_comic_i-wish-i-had-a-kryptonite-cross-because_2867572.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“I wish I had a Kryptonite cross, because then you could keep both Dracula AND Superman away.” — Jack Handey", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } }, { "@type": "BreadcrumbList", "itemListElement": [ { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 1, "name": "Home", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/" }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 2, "name": "Quotes", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/" }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 3, "name": "Jack Handey", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jack-handey/" }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 4, "name": "I wish I had a Kryptonite...", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jack-handey/i-wish-i-had-a-kryptonite-cross-because-then-you-could-keep-both/" } ], "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jack-handey/i-wish-i-had-a-kryptonite-cross-because-then-you-could-keep-both/#breadcrumb" }, { "@type": "WebSite", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website", "name": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/", "publisher": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } }, { "@type": "Organization", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization", "name": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/", "logo": { "@type": "ImageObject", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wp-content/themes/sq/assets/icons/icon-512.png", "width": 512, "height": 512 } } ] } ```