---
title: "Meaning & Key Takeaway of: One thing I've learned is that you can't…"
description: "\"“One thing I've learned is that you can't want a relationship by yourself. A relationship, by definition, is an emotional or other connection between p..."
image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/2ff/j-son-m-lee-36138_love_one-thing-i-ve-learned-is-that-you-can-t_1306741.jpg"
---

#  One thing I've learned is that you can't want a…

![“One thing I've learned is that you can't want a relationship by yourself. A relationship, by definition, is an emotional or other connection between people-&quot;between&quot; being the operative word. That means, you can't be the only one wanting that relationship. If you continually find yourself in a…” quote by J'son M. Lee](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/2ff/j-son-m-lee-36138_love_one-thing-i-ve-learned-is-that-you-can-t_1306741.jpg)   [Download](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/2ff/j-son-m-lee-36138_love_one-thing-i-ve-learned-is-that-you-can-t_1306741.jpg) [Open image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/2ff/j-son-m-lee-36138_love_one-thing-i-ve-learned-is-that-you-can-t_1306741.jpg)

> ““One thing I've learned is that you can't want a relationship by yourself. A relationship, by definition, is an emotional or other connection between people-"between" being the operative word. That means, you can't be the only one wanting that relationship. If you continually find yourself in a place of being the only one actively participating and/or willing to fight for that relationship, maybe it's time to reexamine said relationship. Take care of your heart.””

[J'son M. Lee](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/j-son-m-lee/)

## About This Quote

This interpretation was drafted with AI assistance. It is one reading of the quote, not the author's own explanation.

A healthy relationship requires mutual desire and effort; one-sided investment signals a problem.

**In simple terms:** Both partners must want the relationship.

Key Takeaway

Assess mutual commitment.

Themes

relationships mutual effort self‑care

Mood

reflective concerned

Type

advice relationship

When to use this quote

- dating
- long‑term partnership
- friendship

Key Concepts

emotional reciprocity boundary setting

Questions to Reflect On

- Are you the only one investing?
- What signs show balanced commitment?

A Different Perspective

If the other party is unwilling, the relationship may be unsustainable.

★ ★ ★ ★ ★   No ratings yet

[Love](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/love/) [Relationship](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/relationship/) [Relationship advice](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/relationship-advice/) [Relationship quotes](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/relationship-quotes/) [Relationships](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/relationships/)

## Related quotes

> [Being single has its advantages and disadvantages. Again, I am not saying that wanting to be in a relationship with another person is contemptible,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/shevon/being-single-has-its-advantages-and-disadvantages-again-i-am-not/)

Shevon

> [I can't deal with someone wanting to take a relationship backward or needing space or cheating on you. It's a conscious thing; it's a…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/taylor-swift/i-can-t-deal-with-someone-wanting-to-take-a-relationship-backward-or-2/)

[Taylor Swift](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/taylor-swift/)

> [Complaining about wanting a relationship just makes you look more desprate then you are.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/syoung/complaining-about-wanting-a-relationship-just-makes-you-look-more/)

Syoung

> [“It is a mistake to think that we need a certain type of relationship to be happy. If we crave a relationship when we…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/donna-goddard/it-is-a-mistake-to-think-that-we-need-a-certain-type-of-relationship/)

[Donna Goddard](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/donna-goddard/)

> [Wanting a relationship where people say There STILL together!?](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/wanting-a-relationship-where-people-say-there-still-together/)

[Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/)

> [I can't deal with someone wanting to take a relationship backward or needing space or cheating on you.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/taylor-swift/i-can-t-deal-with-someone-wanting-to-take-a-relationship-backward-or/)

[Taylor Swift](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/taylor-swift/)

> [“Either one is promiscuous or in a relationship - it cannot be both at the same time.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/abhijit-naskar/either-one-is-promiscuous-or-in-a-relationship-it-cannot-be-both-at/)

[Abhijit Naskar](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/abhijit-naskar/)

> [“Cheating in relationship is a sign of self-regulation failure. When it happens ones, it is a mistake. When it happens twice, it is unfortunate.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/abhijit-naskar/cheating-in-relationship-is-a-sign-of-self-regulation-failure-when-it/)

[Abhijit Naskar](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/abhijit-naskar/)

> [“Marriage is not a competition. Marriage is completion of two souls.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/abhijit-naskar/marriage-is-not-a-competition-marriage-is-completion-of-two-souls/)

[Abhijit Naskar](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/abhijit-naskar/)

> [“Cheating is an innate evolutionarily programmed desire, especially in men, but it is not a desire that cannot be controlled.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/abhijit-naskar/cheating-is-an-innate-evolutionarily-programmed-desire-especially-in/)

[Abhijit Naskar](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/abhijit-naskar/)

> [“A human is the one, who would give up a thousand Cleopatras to be with the person he or she loves.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/abhijit-naskar/a-human-is-the-one-who-would-give-up-a-thousand-cleopatras-to-be-with/)

[Abhijit Naskar](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/abhijit-naskar/)

> [“Polygamy is about sex, whereas monogamy is about love.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/abhijit-naskar/polygamy-is-about-sex-whereas-monogamy-is-about-love/)

[Abhijit Naskar](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/abhijit-naskar/)

> [“Home is not just walls and a roof; it is where the heart finds love and peace, and where memories take root, grounding us…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bhuwan-thapaliya/home-is-not-just-walls-and-a-roof-it-is-where-the-heart-finds-love/)

[Bhuwan Thapaliya](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bhuwan-thapaliya/)

> [“If we are unable to tolerate ourselves when we are alone, how can we expect anyone else to be enriched by our company? Before…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gerald-corey/if-we-are-unable-to-tolerate-ourselves-when-we-are-alone-how-can-we/)

Gerald Corey

> [“The most powerful relationship you will ever have is the relationship with yourself. It is in this relationship that you set the standard for…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/steve-maraboli/the-most-powerful-relationship-you-will-ever-have-is-the-relationship/)

[Steve Maraboli](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/steve-maraboli/)

## More by J'son M. Lee

> [“I can share my dreams, and even encourage you along the way, but you have to have your own dreams. You have to want…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/j-son-m-lee/i-can-share-my-dreams-and-even-encourage-you-along-the-way-but-you/)

[J'son M. Lee](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/j-son-m-lee/)

> [“I don't debate where there is no debate. I'm smart. You're stupid. Debate over.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/j-son-m-lee/i-don-t-debate-where-there-is-no-debate-i-m-smart-you-re-stupid/)

[J'son M. Lee](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/j-son-m-lee/)

> [“Yesterday I was talking to a friend, and she mentioned there was a difference in me. She asked if I was happy, and commented…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/j-son-m-lee/yesterday-i-was-talking-to-a-friend-and-she-mentioned-there-was-a/)

[J'son M. Lee](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/j-son-m-lee/)

> [“Sometimes people are so genuinely themselves they aren't conscious of the fact they have wronged you; sometimes you shouldn't care enough to bring it…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/j-son-m-lee/sometimes-people-are-so-genuinely-themselves-they-aren-t-conscious-of/)

[J'son M. Lee](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/j-son-m-lee/)

> [“People need to learn the art of making an argument. Often there is no right or wrong. It's just your opinion vs someone else's…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/j-son-m-lee/people-need-to-learn-the-art-of-making-an-argument-often-there-is-no/)

[J'son M. Lee](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/j-son-m-lee/)

> [“Sometimes I get so frustrated with folk talking about how busy the devil is. Own your mess! You might be the devil. Stop inviting…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/j-son-m-lee/sometimes-i-get-so-frustrated-with-folk-talking-about-how-busy-the/)

[J'son M. Lee](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/j-son-m-lee/)

> [“Shame is the demon that keeps many of us trapped in our pain; healing comes when we gain the courage to confront our demon(s).”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/j-son-m-lee/shame-is-the-demon-that-keeps-many-of-us-trapped-in-our-pain-healing/)

[J'son M. Lee](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/j-son-m-lee/)

> [“The more money I make...the more I focus on my marriage...the more I love...the more I forgive...the more I mind my business...the less fucks…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/j-son-m-lee/the-more-money-i-make-the-more-i-focus-on-my-marriage-the-more-i-love/)

[J'son M. Lee](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/j-son-m-lee/)

> [“I, too, am a drum major for justice. I will continue to speak out-LOUD and PROUD- as long as gay youth are killing themselves…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/j-son-m-lee/i-too-am-a-drum-major-for-justice-i-will-continue-to-speak-out-loud/)

[J'son M. Lee](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/j-son-m-lee/)

> [“Folk spend so much time trying to be connected to people because of who they are, what that relationship represents to them or what…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/j-son-m-lee/folk-spend-so-much-time-trying-to-be-connected-to-people-because-of/)

[J'son M. Lee](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/j-son-m-lee/)

> [“I get so excited when I hear people saying their greater is coming. After all, I’m always telling everyone to find the positive. Yes,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/j-son-m-lee/i-get-so-excited-when-i-hear-people-saying-their-greater-is-coming/)

[J'son M. Lee](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/j-son-m-lee/)

> [“Existing is going through the motions of life with no zeal and feeling you have no control; living means embracing all that this large…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/j-son-m-lee/existing-is-going-through-the-motions-of-life-with-no-zeal-and/)

[J'son M. Lee](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/j-son-m-lee/)

[Explore all 13 J'son M. Lee quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/j-son-m-lee/)

## More Love quotes

> [Whatever meaning 'Annie's Song' had for me on a personal level, there was also a larger context. It could just as easily have been…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-denver/whatever-meaning-annie-s-song-had-for-me-on-a-personal-level-there/)

[John Denver](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-denver/)

> [Life is full of change. That's how we learn and grow.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/life-is-full-of-change-that-s-how-we-learn-and-grow/)

[Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/)

> [I need a bath." He chuckled. "You smell of smoke, as do I." The duke turned, leaning heavily on his cane. "Jameson, open the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/karen-hawkins/i-need-a-bath-he-chuckled-you-smell-of-smoke-as-do-i-the-duke-turned/)

[Karen Hawkins](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/karen-hawkins/)

> [I love going to Columbia, Missouri. That is a really underrated campus. It shocked me when I went there because I really didn't know…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kirk-herbstreit/i-love-going-to-columbia-missouri-that-is-a-really-underrated-campus/)

[Kirk Herbstreit](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kirk-herbstreit/)

> [Life works most perfectly when a reciprocal love relationship is in place between man and God.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/beth-moore/life-works-most-perfectly-when-a-reciprocal-love-relationship-is-in/)

[Beth Moore](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/beth-moore/)

> [We talk to God--that is prayer; God talks to us--that is inspiration.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/h-emilie-cady/we-talk-to-god-that-is-prayer-god-talks-to-us-that-is-inspiration/)

[H. Emilie Cady](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/h-emilie-cady/)

> [I fell in love with social work, and that was my undoing as a poet.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/carl-rakosi/i-fell-in-love-with-social-work-and-that-was-my-undoing-as-a-poet/)

[Carl Rakosi](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/carl-rakosi/)

> [You cant be controlling in improv.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/matt-walsh/you-cant-be-controlling-in-improv/)

[Matt Walsh](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/matt-walsh/)

> [Everyone needs someone to love, and I choose you.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/everyone-needs-someone-to-love-and-i-choose-you/)

[Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/)

> [I think, here's what I've realized from interviewing people, and I've been very open about my Catholicism and my love of Christ and I…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jay-mohr/i-think-here-s-what-i-ve-realized-from-interviewing-people-and-i-ve/)

[Jay Mohr](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jay-mohr/)

> [“To be loved by a man, truly loved, made a woman feel as if she could burst. Of course, Lia was strong and could…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/melody-anne/to-be-loved-by-a-man-truly-loved-made-a-woman-feel-as-if-she-could/)

[Melody Anne](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/melody-anne/)

> [So when you take those tears, don't look to see I'm alright. …\*Seal - Violet](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/eric-nickel/so-when-you-take-those-tears-don-t-look-to-see-i-m-alright-seal-violet/)

[Eric Nickel](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/eric-nickel/)

> [Two things revolutionised life: moving to the countryside and falling in love.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nick-love/two-things-revolutionised-life-moving-to-the-countryside-and-falling/)

[Nick Love](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nick-love/)

> [“That horrible stinging sensation returned, the muscles behind my eyes straining as the first tear began to fall. “I’m scared, too. For eighteen months…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/devon-ashley/that-horrible-stinging-sensation-returned-the-muscles-behind-my-eyes/)

[Devon Ashley](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/devon-ashley/)

> [I could program a 'fabulous, I love it' kind of hit season right now. I'm more interested in breaking boundaries, telling a story, defying…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/george-c-wolfe/i-could-program-a-fabulous-i-love-it-kind-of-hit-season-right-now-i-m/)

[George C. Wolfe](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/george-c-wolfe/)

[Browse all 233,035 Love quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/love/)

```json
{
    "@context": "https://schema.org",
    "@graph": [
        {
            "@type": "Quotation",
            "text": "“One thing I've learned is that you can't want a relationship by yourself. A relationship, by definition, is an emotional or other connection between people-\"between\" being the operative word. That means, you can't be the only one wanting that relationship. If you continually find yourself in a place of being the only one actively participating and/or willing to fight for that relationship, maybe it's time to reexamine said relationship. Take care of your heart.”",
            "creator": {
                "@type": "Person",
                "name": "J'son M. Lee"
            },
            "isPartOf": {
                "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website"
            },
            "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/j-son-m-lee/one-thing-i-ve-learned-is-that-you-can-t-want-a-relationship-by/",
            "about": {
                "@type": "Thing",
                "name": "Love"
            },
            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/j-son-m-lee/one-thing-i-ve-learned-is-that-you-can-t-want-a-relationship-by/#quotation",
            "image": {
                "@type": "ImageObject",
                "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/2ff/j-son-m-lee-36138_love_one-thing-i-ve-learned-is-that-you-can-t_1306741.jpg",
                "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/2ff/j-son-m-lee-36138_love_one-thing-i-ve-learned-is-that-you-can-t_1306741.jpg",
                "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/2ff/j-son-m-lee-36138_love_one-thing-i-ve-learned-is-that-you-can-t_1306741.jpg",
                "width": 1080,
                "height": 1080,
                "caption": "“One thing I've learned is that you can't want a relationship by yourself. A relationship, by definition, is…” — J'son M. Lee",
                "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes",
                "creator": {
                    "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization"
                }
            }
        },
        {
            "@type": "BreadcrumbList",
            "itemListElement": [
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 1,
                    "name": "Home",
                    "item": "https://sms4smile.com/"
                },
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 2,
                    "name": "Quotes",
                    "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/"
                },
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 3,
                    "name": "J'son M. Lee",
                    "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/j-son-m-lee/"
                },
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 4,
                    "name": "“One thing I've learned is that...",
                    "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/j-son-m-lee/one-thing-i-ve-learned-is-that-you-can-t-want-a-relationship-by/"
                }
            ],
            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/j-son-m-lee/one-thing-i-ve-learned-is-that-you-can-t-want-a-relationship-by/#breadcrumb"
        },
        {
            "@type": "WebSite",
            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website",
            "name": "SMS4Smile Quotes",
            "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/",
            "publisher": {
                "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization"
            }
        },
        {
            "@type": "Organization",
            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization",
            "name": "SMS4Smile Quotes",
            "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/",
            "logo": {
                "@type": "ImageObject",
                "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wp-content/themes/sq/assets/icons/icon-512.png",
                "width": 512,
                "height": 512
            }
        }
    ]
}
```
