---
title: "Meaning & Key Takeaway of: If things had been different, she would…"
description: "\"If things had been different, she would be in Carolyn's place right now. She didn't want that sort of existence, but there was something so attractive ..."
image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/4c8/j-courtney-sullivan-7330_attractive_if-things-had-been-different-she-would-b_856491.jpg"
---

#  If things had been different, she would be in Carolyn's…

![“If things had been different, she would be in Carolyn's place right now. She didn't want that sort of existence, but there was something so attractive about the security of feeling like you had stopped moving toward your life, and actually arrived.” quote by J. Courtney Sullivan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/4c8/j-courtney-sullivan-7330_attractive_if-things-had-been-different-she-would-b_856491.jpg)   [Download](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/4c8/j-courtney-sullivan-7330_attractive_if-things-had-been-different-she-would-b_856491.jpg) [Open image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/4c8/j-courtney-sullivan-7330_attractive_if-things-had-been-different-she-would-b_856491.jpg)

> “If things had been different, she would be in Carolyn's place right now. She didn't want that sort of existence, but there was something so attractive about the security of feeling like you had stopped moving toward your life, and actually arrived.”

[J. Courtney Sullivan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/j-courtney-sullivan/)

## About This Quote

This interpretation was drafted with AI assistance. It is one reading of the quote, not the author's own explanation.

A woman envies another’s static existence, recognizing the allure of feeling settled even if it means stagnation.

**In simple terms:** She sees the temptation of a life that feels complete but lacks growth.

Key Takeaway

Beware settling for comfort that halts personal progress.

Themes

stagnation comfort choice identity growth

Mood

nostalgic thoughtful ambivalent

Type

reflective philosophical

When to use this quote

- career decision
- relationship dynamics
- midlife reflection

Key Concepts

psychology existentialism social expectation

Questions to Reflect On

- What does “arriving” mean to you?
- Can comfort coexist with growth?

A Different Perspective

The quote may oversimplify the value of stability.

★ ★ ★ ★ ★   No ratings yet

[Cybersecurity](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/cybersecurity/) [Existence](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/existence/) [Feelings](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/feelings/) [Life](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/life/) [Security](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/security/)

## Related quotes

> [“security—the feeling that nothing could change seriously for the worse, and that the life that you had was invulnerable—was illusory and even dangerous.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/theodore-dalrymple/security-the-feeling-that-nothing-could-change-seriously-for-the/)

[Theodore Dalrymple](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/theodore-dalrymple/)

> [“A sense of security, a feeling that a truce was established between the present hour and the irresistible, disastrous future imparted to me a…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mary-shelley/a-sense-of-security-a-feeling-that-a-truce-was-established-between/)

[Mary Shelley](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mary-shelley/)

> [There's the false security of feeling a great force of love from your audience one day and then the next morning you wake up…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lisa-gerrard/there-s-the-false-security-of-feeling-a-great-force-of-love-from-your/)

[Lisa Gerrard](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lisa-gerrard/)

> [For the most part we humans live with the false impression of security and a feeling of being at home in a seemingly familiar…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/albert-einstein/for-the-most-part-we-humans-live-with-the-false-impression-of/)

[Albert Einstein](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/albert-einstein/)

> [I have faith that God will care for me, and God does provide my needs. I don't in any way feel insecure because I…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/peace-pilgrim/i-have-faith-that-god-will-care-for-me-and-god-does-provide-my-needs/)

[Peace Pilgrim](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/peace-pilgrim/)

> [To put is still more plainly: the desire for security and the feeling of insecurity are the same thing. To hold your breath is…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/to-put-is-still-more-plainly-the-desire-for-security-and-the-feeling/)

[Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/)

> [To have in general but little feeling, seems to be the only security against feeling too much on any particular occasion.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/george-eliot/to-have-in-general-but-little-feeling-seems-to-be-the-only-security/)

[George Eliot](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/george-eliot/)

> [In my big group of girlfriends at home, I am definitely not the best looking. I did not grow up feeling like I was…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/margot-robbie/in-my-big-group-of-girlfriends-at-home-i-am-definitely-not-the-best/)

[Margot Robbie](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/margot-robbie/)

> [I wish things were different but I'm too shallow to care.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/i-wish-things-were-different-but-i-m-too-shallow-to-care/)

[Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/)

> [Being trans means different things to different people. Some people don't take hormones, some people don't have surgery, some people are just happy living…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/courtney-act/being-trans-means-different-things-to-different-people-some-people/)

[Courtney Act](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/courtney-act/)

> [When I grew up where I grew up, things were very, very different, and nobody had a filter. And that's what brought us together.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/michelle-visage/when-i-grew-up-where-i-grew-up-things-were-very-very-different-and/)

[Michelle Visage](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/michelle-visage/)

> [What if I lived there, or You lived here? Could things be different? Would things be different?](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/what-if-i-lived-there-or-you-lived-here-could-things-be-different/)

[Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/)

> [Yes, the more I go through life I realize that there's really no separation between practice and art at all. The two things more…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/meredith-monk/yes-the-more-i-go-through-life-i-realize-that-there-s-really-no/)

[Meredith Monk](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/meredith-monk/)

> [“Things should have been so different to the way they are now.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/emma-cameron/things-should-have-been-so-different-to-the-way-they-are-now/)

[Emma Cameron](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/emma-cameron/)

> [I think there are a lot of things that are different and there are a lot of things that are the same.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/klayton/i-think-there-are-a-lot-of-things-that-are-different-and-there-are-a/)

[Klayton](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/klayton/)

## More by J. Courtney Sullivan

> [“She often wondered what the hell was wrong with men. Sex could be fun, natural, good. Why did they have to corrupt it? Why…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/j-courtney-sullivan/she-often-wondered-what-the-hell-was-wrong-with-men-sex-could-be-fun/)

[J. Courtney Sullivan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/j-courtney-sullivan/)

> [“It felt something like being in love, but without the weight of having to choose just one heart to hold on to, and without…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/j-courtney-sullivan/it-felt-something-like-being-in-love-but-without-the-weight-of-having/)

[J. Courtney Sullivan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/j-courtney-sullivan/)

> [“Bree knew this habit of hers rankled Lara more than any other--her ability to make a decision and announce that there would be no…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/j-courtney-sullivan/bree-knew-this-habit-of-hers-rankled-lara-more-than-any-other-her/)

[J. Courtney Sullivan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/j-courtney-sullivan/)

> [Every woman needs secrets,' her mother said with a smile then, her eyes meeting Sally's in the rearview mirror. 'Remember that when you're old…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/j-courtney-sullivan/every-woman-needs-secrets-her-mother-said-with-a-smile-then-her-eyes/)

[J. Courtney Sullivan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/j-courtney-sullivan/)

> [“The moment a woman was born determined so much of who she was allowed to become.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/j-courtney-sullivan/the-moment-a-woman-was-born-determined-so-much-of-who-she-was-allowed/)

[J. Courtney Sullivan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/j-courtney-sullivan/)

> [“Her mother… told Kate that after women got out of lousy marriages, they generally had the good sense to stay away from the institution…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/j-courtney-sullivan/her-mother-told-kate-that-after-women-got-out-of-lousy-marriages-they/)

[J. Courtney Sullivan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/j-courtney-sullivan/)

> [“You could sell crack on the street and go to jail for decades. Or you could sell a woman, and be back out by…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/j-courtney-sullivan/you-could-sell-crack-on-the-street-and-go-to-jail-for-decades-or-you/)

[J. Courtney Sullivan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/j-courtney-sullivan/)

> [For whatever reason, various outlets and individuals are committed to making the world think that young girls don't talk or care about feminism anymore,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/j-courtney-sullivan/for-whatever-reason-various-outlets-and-individuals-are-committed-to/)

[J. Courtney Sullivan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/j-courtney-sullivan/)

> [When I started writing my second novel, I decided that one of the characters would have a passion for dollhouses, which allowed me to…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/j-courtney-sullivan/when-i-started-writing-my-second-novel-i-decided-that-one-of-the/)

[J. Courtney Sullivan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/j-courtney-sullivan/)

> [Reading poetry gives me a sense of calm, well-being, and love for humanity - the same stuff more flexible women get from yoga.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/j-courtney-sullivan/reading-poetry-gives-me-a-sense-of-calm-well-being-and-love-for/)

[J. Courtney Sullivan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/j-courtney-sullivan/)

> [I read 'Love in the Time of Cholera' when I was 19, and I still think about the characters.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/j-courtney-sullivan/i-read-love-in-the-time-of-cholera-when-i-was-19-and-i-still-think/)

[J. Courtney Sullivan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/j-courtney-sullivan/)

> [“awake. James would force himself to close his eyes. For the next few hours, he’d lie there, thrashing around, trying to get comfortable. By…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/j-courtney-sullivan/awake-james-would-force-himself-to-close-his-eyes-for-the-next-few/)

[J. Courtney Sullivan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/j-courtney-sullivan/)

> [“You all seem to think you should marry someone when you feel this intense emotion, which you call love. And then you expect the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/j-courtney-sullivan/you-all-seem-to-think-you-should-marry-someone-when-you-feel-this/)

[J. Courtney Sullivan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/j-courtney-sullivan/)

> [I love making lists.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/j-courtney-sullivan/i-love-making-lists/)

[J. Courtney Sullivan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/j-courtney-sullivan/)

> [“Once this kid came into the world, Sally knew, she would live in constant terror of somehow injuring or losing her. Having her tucked…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/j-courtney-sullivan/once-this-kid-came-into-the-world-sally-knew-she-would-live-in/)

[J. Courtney Sullivan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/j-courtney-sullivan/)

[Explore all 91 J. Courtney Sullivan quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/j-courtney-sullivan/)

## More Attractive quotes

> [Every woman thinks herself attractive; even the plainest is satisfied with the charms she deems that she possesses.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ovid/every-woman-thinks-herself-attractive-even-the-plainest-is-satisfied/)

[Ovid](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ovid/)

> [A beautiful woman must expect to be more accountable for her steps, than one less attractive.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/samuel-richardson/a-beautiful-woman-must-expect-to-be-more-accountable-for-her-steps/)

[Samuel Richardson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/samuel-richardson/)

> [We are Bay Aryans from Berkeley: prepare to be reengineered in an attractive range of color schemes for your safety and comfort!](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/charles-stross/we-are-bay-aryans-from-berkeley-prepare-to-be-reengineered-in-an/)

[Charles Stross](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/charles-stross/)

> [I was unusual looking - I didn't have the look of that time. If you look at 'Lucas' - and, basically, my first five…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/winona-ryder/i-was-unusual-looking-i-didn-t-have-the-look-of-that-time-if-you-look/)

[Winona Ryder](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/winona-ryder/)

> [Violence is what people do when they run out of good ideas. It's attractive because it's simple, it's direct, it's almost always available as…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/james-s-a-corey/violence-is-what-people-do-when-they-run-out-of-good-ideas-it-s/)

[James S.A. Corey](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/james-s-a-corey/)

> [I hated grunge. No one’s more feminist than me, but you don’t have to look as if you don’t give a - you know.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/catherine-zeta-jones/i-hated-grunge-no-one-s-more-feminist-than-me-but-you-don-t-have-to/)

[Catherine Zeta-Jones](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/catherine-zeta-jones/)

> [Web users ultimately want to get at data quickly and easily. They don't care as much about attractive sites and pretty design.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/tim-berners-lee/web-users-ultimately-want-to-get-at-data-quickly-and-easily-they-don/)

[Tim Berners-Lee](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/tim-berners-lee/)

> [Just be confident. Confidence is the most attractive part of a person. Because if they're not confident enough to show you who they are,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/curtis-jackson/just-be-confident-confidence-is-the-most-attractive-part-of-a-person/)

[Curtis Jackson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/curtis-jackson/)

> [It is very pleasant to scratch an itching ring-worm, but the sensation one gets afterwards is very painful and intolerable. In the same way…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ramakrishna/it-is-very-pleasant-to-scratch-an-itching-ring-worm-but-the-sensation/)

[Ramakrishna](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ramakrishna/)

> [I think it's sort of the hypothetical point where communism and fascism meet. They love tragedy, and they love surface beauty. You just watch…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/emma-forrest/i-think-it-s-sort-of-the-hypothetical-point-where-communism-and/)

[Emma Forrest](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/emma-forrest/)

> [My dad had a personal style which was very attractive. It was quite reserved and quite elegant, and it was infectious.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bill-nighy/my-dad-had-a-personal-style-which-was-very-attractive-it-was-quite/)

[Bill Nighy](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bill-nighy/)

> [When you consider the sheer magnitude of investable equities to choose from in the world's emerging markets, you realize that finding one that looks…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mark-mobius/when-you-consider-the-sheer-magnitude-of-investable-equities-to/)

[Mark Mobius](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mark-mobius/)

> [“Are pervs only pervs if you don't find them attractive?”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/rick-yancy/are-pervs-only-pervs-if-you-don-t-find-them-attractive/)

Rick Yancy

> [I've tried to stay true, in my own fashion, to the ideas of The Sex Pistols, even while I was working with bands like…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/julien-temple/i-ve-tried-to-stay-true-in-my-own-fashion-to-the-ideas-of-the-sex/)

[Julien Temple](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/julien-temple/)

> [I remember the early 1980s, when I first got one of these fabulous film critic jobs. The downside was sitting through 'Splatteria III: The…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/stephen-hunter/i-remember-the-early-1980s-when-i-first-got-one-of-these-fabulous/)

[Stephen Hunter](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/stephen-hunter/)

Browse all 1,796 Attractive quotes

```json
{
    "@context": "https://schema.org",
    "@graph": [
        {
            "@type": "Quotation",
            "text": "If things had been different, she would be in Carolyn's place right now. She didn't want that sort of existence, but there was something so attractive about the security of feeling like you had stopped moving toward your life, and actually arrived.",
            "creator": {
                "@type": "Person",
                "name": "J. Courtney Sullivan"
            },
            "isPartOf": {
                "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website"
            },
            "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/j-courtney-sullivan/if-things-had-been-different-she-would-be-in-carolyn-s-place-right/",
            "about": {
                "@type": "Thing",
                "name": "Attractive"
            },
            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/j-courtney-sullivan/if-things-had-been-different-she-would-be-in-carolyn-s-place-right/#quotation",
            "image": {
                "@type": "ImageObject",
                "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/4c8/j-courtney-sullivan-7330_attractive_if-things-had-been-different-she-would-b_856491.jpg",
                "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/4c8/j-courtney-sullivan-7330_attractive_if-things-had-been-different-she-would-b_856491.jpg",
                "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/4c8/j-courtney-sullivan-7330_attractive_if-things-had-been-different-she-would-b_856491.jpg",
                "width": 1080,
                "height": 1080,
                "caption": "“If things had been different, she would be in Carolyn's place right now. She didn't want that sort of…” — J. Courtney Sullivan",
                "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes",
                "creator": {
                    "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization"
                }
            }
        },
        {
            "@type": "BreadcrumbList",
            "itemListElement": [
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 1,
                    "name": "Home",
                    "item": "https://sms4smile.com/"
                },
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 2,
                    "name": "Quotes",
                    "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/"
                },
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 3,
                    "name": "J. Courtney Sullivan",
                    "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/j-courtney-sullivan/"
                },
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 4,
                    "name": "If things had been different, she...",
                    "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/j-courtney-sullivan/if-things-had-been-different-she-would-be-in-carolyn-s-place-right/"
                }
            ],
            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/j-courtney-sullivan/if-things-had-been-different-she-would-be-in-carolyn-s-place-right/#breadcrumb"
        },
        {
            "@type": "WebSite",
            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website",
            "name": "SMS4Smile Quotes",
            "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/",
            "publisher": {
                "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization"
            }
        },
        {
            "@type": "Organization",
            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization",
            "name": "SMS4Smile Quotes",
            "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/",
            "logo": {
                "@type": "ImageObject",
                "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wp-content/themes/sq/assets/icons/icon-512.png",
                "width": 512,
                "height": 512
            }
        }
    ]
}
```
