--- title: "Meaning & Key Takeaway of: You know, I think everybody I've seen has…" description: "\"You know, I think everybody I've seen has come from some other therapy, and almost invariably it's very much the same thing: the therapist is too disin..." image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/2a0/irvin-d-yalom-1519_aloof_you-know-i-think-everybody-i-ve-seen-has_1019957.png" --- # You know, I think everybody I've seen has come from some… ![“You know, I think everybody I've seen has come from some other therapy, and almost invariably it's very much the same thing: the therapist is too disinterested, a little too aloof, a little too inactive. They're not really interested in the person, he doesn't relate to the person. All these things…” quote by Irvin D. Yalom](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/2a0/irvin-d-yalom-1519_aloof_you-know-i-think-everybody-i-ve-seen-has_1019957.png) [Download](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/2a0/irvin-d-yalom-1519_aloof_you-know-i-think-everybody-i-ve-seen-has_1019957.png) [Open image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/2a0/irvin-d-yalom-1519_aloof_you-know-i-think-everybody-i-ve-seen-has_1019957.png) > “You know, I think everybody I've seen has come from some other therapy, and almost invariably it's very much the same thing: the therapist is too disinterested, a little too aloof, a little too inactive. They're not really interested in the person, he doesn't relate to the person. All these things I've written so much about. That's why I've made such a practice really, over and over to hammer home the point of self-revelation and being more of yourself and showing yourself. Every book I write I want to get that in there.” [Irvin D. Yalom](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/irvin-d-yalom/) ## About This Quote This interpretation was drafted with AI assistance. It is one reading of the quote, not the author's own explanation. Therapists often stay emotionally distant, limiting genuine connection and personal growth for clients. **In simple terms:** Therapists can be too detached, hurting therapy. Key Takeaway Foster authentic, engaged therapeutic relationships. Themes therapy connection authenticity Mood reflective empathetic Type guidance psychology When to use this quote - counseling sessions - training workshops - client‑therapist rapport Key Concepts self‑revelation empathy professional boundaries Questions to Reflect On - How can therapists balance professional distance with genuine care? - What practices help therapists stay emotionally present? A Different Perspective Some clients may prefer a more neutral stance to explore their own thoughts. ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ No ratings yet [Aloof](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/aloof/) [Book](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/book/) [Home](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/home/) [Mental health](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/mental-health/) [Practice](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/practice/) [Revelations](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/revelations/) [Self](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/self/) [Self revelation](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/self-revelation/) [Therapists](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/therapists/) [Therapy](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/therapy/) [Thinking](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/thinking/) [Writing](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/writing/) ## Related quotes > [You know, people come to therapy really for a blessing. Not so much to fix what's broken, but to get what's broken blessed.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/james-hillman/you-know-people-come-to-therapy-really-for-a-blessing-not-so-much-to/) [James Hillman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/james-hillman/) > [“Many people, not least those people who come to therapy, convince themselves that there are alternative options to choose where none exist.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ernesto-spinelli/many-people-not-least-those-people-who-come-to-therapy-convince/) [Ernesto Spinelli](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ernesto-spinelli/) > [When I said on national television I still struggle, a reparative therapist called me and said if you'll come into therapy with me I…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alan-chambers/when-i-said-on-national-television-i-still-struggle-a-reparative/) [Alan Chambers](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alan-chambers/) > [ISABEL: Sorry I missed my session Monday. DR. RUSH: Would you like to tell me why? ISABEL: I was depressed. DR. RUSH: That's a…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lisa-lutz/isabel-sorry-i-missed-my-session-monday-dr-rush-would-you-like-to/) [Lisa Lutz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lisa-lutz/) > [“Given the considerable number of children who come to therapy begrudgingly, you might expect me to rejoice for those who come with bells on…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/richard-bromfield/given-the-considerable-number-of-children-who-come-to-therapy/) [Richard Bromfield](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/richard-bromfield/) > [People don't come to therapy for exclamation; they come for experience.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/frieda-fromm-reichmann/people-don-t-come-to-therapy-for-exclamation-they-come-for-experience/) Frieda Fromm-Reichmann > [People do not come into therapy to change their past but their future.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/milton-h-erickson/people-do-not-come-into-therapy-to-change-their-past-but-their-future/) [Milton H. Erickson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/milton-h-erickson/) > [The traditional gender ideals of the strong-silent man who plays his cards close to his chest and the mysterious woman who disguises her feelings…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sam-keen/the-traditional-gender-ideals-of-the-strong-silent-man-who-plays-his/) [Sam Keen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sam-keen/) > [It is in their 'good' characters that novelists make, unawares, the most shocking self- revelations.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/c-s-lewis/it-is-in-their-good-characters-that-novelists-make-unawares-the-most/) [C. S. Lewis](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/c-s-lewis/) > [ For a justice of this ultimate tribunal \[the U.S. Supreme Court\], the opportunity for self-discovery and the occasion for self-revelation is great. ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/abe-fortas/for-a-justice-of-this-ultimate-tribunal-the-u-s-supreme-court-the/) [Abe Fortas](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/abe-fortas/) > [“Don't wait for the law of attraction to happen to you; make it happen for you, by taking action. Once you do this, you…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/charles-f-glassman/don-t-wait-for-the-law-of-attraction-to-happen-to-you-make-it-happen/) [Charles F. Glassman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/charles-f-glassman/) > [In anthropology, which historically exists to 'give voice' to others, there is no greater taboo than self-revelation. The impetus of our discipline, with its…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ruth-behar/in-anthropology-which-historically-exists-to-give-voice-to-others/) [Ruth Behar](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ruth-behar/) > [The transformation of silence into language and action is an act of self-revelation .](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/audre-lorde/the-transformation-of-silence-into-language-and-action-is-an-act-of/) [Audre Lorde](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/audre-lorde/) > [The greatest act of self-revelation occurs when we choose what we will believe, in that space of freedom that exists between knowing that a…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/the-greatest-act-of-self-revelation-occurs-when-we-choose-what-we/) [Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/) > [Sincerity is a Christian virtue, as is honesty about our struggles. But my generation needs to realize that Christianity is more than chic fragility,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kevin-deyoung/sincerity-is-a-christian-virtue-as-is-honesty-about-our-struggles-but/) [Kevin DeYoung](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kevin-deyoung/) ## More by Irvin D. Yalom > [“ALAS, IF ALL HUMANS WERE WISE AND HAD MORE GOOD WILL THE WORLD WOULD BE A PARADISE NOW IT IS MOSTLY A HELL”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/irvin-d-yalom/alas-if-all-humans-were-wise-and-had-more-good-will-the-world-would/) [Irvin D. Yalom](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/irvin-d-yalom/) > [I dream of a love that is more than two people craving to possess one another.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/irvin-d-yalom/i-dream-of-a-love-that-is-more-than-two-people-craving-to-possess-one/) [Irvin D. Yalom](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/irvin-d-yalom/) > [“Ümitsizlik özfarkındalık uğruna ödenen bedeldir.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/irvin-d-yalom/mitsizlik-zfark-ndal-k-u-runa-denen-bedeldir/) [Irvin D. Yalom](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/irvin-d-yalom/) > [Therapists need to have a long experience in personal therapy to see what it's like to be on the other side of the couch…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/irvin-d-yalom/therapists-need-to-have-a-long-experience-in-personal-therapy-to-see/) [Irvin D. Yalom](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/irvin-d-yalom/) > [“Beginning therapists must learn that there are times to sit in silence, sometimes in silent communion, sometimes simply while waiting for patients' thoughts to…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/irvin-d-yalom/beginning-therapists-must-learn-that-there-are-times-to-sit-in/) [Irvin D. Yalom](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/irvin-d-yalom/) > [If one is to learn to live with the dead, one must first learn to live with the living!](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/irvin-d-yalom/if-one-is-to-learn-to-live-with-the-dead-one-must-first-learn-to-live/) [Irvin D. Yalom](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/irvin-d-yalom/) > [Specialness as a primary mode of death transcendence takes a number of other maladaptive forms. The drive for power is not uncommonly motivated by…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/irvin-d-yalom/specialness-as-a-primary-mode-of-death-transcendence-takes-a-number/) [Irvin D. Yalom](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/irvin-d-yalom/) > [“Exactly. We know that the great Goethe carried a copy of Spinoza’s Ethics in his pocket for a year. Imagine that—an entire year! And…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/irvin-d-yalom/exactly-we-know-that-the-great-goethe-carried-a-copy-of-spinoza-s/) [Irvin D. Yalom](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/irvin-d-yalom/) > [“Hope is the worst of evils because it protracts torment.” “Your”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/irvin-d-yalom/hope-is-the-worst-of-evils-because-it-protracts-torment-your/) [Irvin D. Yalom](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/irvin-d-yalom/) > [Mature love is loving, not being loved.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/irvin-d-yalom/mature-love-is-loving-not-being-loved/) [Irvin D. Yalom](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/irvin-d-yalom/) > [Absolute power, as we have always known, corrupts absolutely; it corrupts because it does not do the trick for the individual. Reality always creeps…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/irvin-d-yalom/absolute-power-as-we-have-always-known-corrupts-absolutely-it/) [Irvin D. Yalom](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/irvin-d-yalom/) > [“Indeed, the capacity to tolerate uncertainty is a prerequisite for the profession. Though the public may believe that therapists guide patients systematically and sure-handedly…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/irvin-d-yalom/indeed-the-capacity-to-tolerate-uncertainty-is-a-prerequisite-for-the/) [Irvin D. Yalom](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/irvin-d-yalom/) > [“Rollo May quipped that anxiety about nothing tries to become anxiety about something. In other words, anxiety about nothingness quickly attaches itself to a…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/irvin-d-yalom/rollo-may-quipped-that-anxiety-about-nothing-tries-to-become-anxiety/) [Irvin D. Yalom](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/irvin-d-yalom/) > [“I often urge patients to project themselves into the future and to consider how they can live now so that five years hence they…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/irvin-d-yalom/i-often-urge-patients-to-project-themselves-into-the-future-and-to/) [Irvin D. Yalom](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/irvin-d-yalom/) > [When people don't have any curiosity about themselves, that is always a bad sign.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/irvin-d-yalom/when-people-don-t-have-any-curiosity-about-themselves-that-is-always/) [Irvin D. Yalom](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/irvin-d-yalom/) [Explore all 184 Irvin D. Yalom quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/irvin-d-yalom/) ## More Aloof quotes > [Against the suffering which may come upon one from human relationships the readiest safeguard is voluntary isolation, keeping oneself aloof from other people. The…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sigmund-freud/against-the-suffering-which-may-come-upon-one-from-human/) [Sigmund Freud](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sigmund-freud/) > [To combat social awkwardness, I would just act like I couldn't be bothered - that kind of aloof persona or aloof demeanor. It's so…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/janeane-garofalo/to-combat-social-awkwardness-i-would-just-act-like-i-couldn-t-be/) [Janeane Garofalo](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/janeane-garofalo/) > [If someone were plucked from the group and given those responsibilities, they might find themselves growing more aloof, just by virtue of that promotion.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/joshua-ferris/if-someone-were-plucked-from-the-group-and-given-those/) [Joshua Ferris](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/joshua-ferris/) > [Hungry wailing standeth not aloof.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/aeschylus/hungry-wailing-standeth-not-aloof/) [Aeschylus](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/aeschylus/) > [ \[Kellyanne Conway\]taking \[Jennifer\] Palmieri to school. You had a lousy candidate, you've got a candidate who's arrogant and aloof and didn't even campaign in… ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/rush-limbaugh/kellyanne-conway-taking-jennifer-palmieri-to-school-you-had-a-lousy/) [Rush Limbaugh](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/rush-limbaugh/) > [“Relax; the world's not watching that closely. It's too busy contemplating itself in the mirror.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/richelle-e-goodrich/relax-the-world-s-not-watching-that-closely-it-s-too-busy/) [Richelle E. Goodrich](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/richelle-e-goodrich/) > [Love's not love When it is mingled with regards that stand Aloof from th' entire point.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/william-shakespeare/love-s-not-love-when-it-is-mingled-with-regards-that-stand-aloof-from/) [William Shakespeare](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/william-shakespeare/) > [It is well known that we fight in God's cause... but unless God helps us by a miracle the English, who have faster and…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nicholas-rodger/it-is-well-known-that-we-fight-in-god-s-cause-but-unless-god-helps-us/) [Nicholas Rodger](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nicholas-rodger/) > [There comes a terrible moment to many souls when the great movements of the world, the larger destinies of mankind, which have lain aloof…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/george-eliot/there-comes-a-terrible-moment-to-many-souls-when-the-great-movements/) [George Eliot](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/george-eliot/) > [My father was aloof, very strange and very distant.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anthony-horowitz/my-father-was-aloof-very-strange-and-very-distant/) [Anthony Horowitz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anthony-horowitz/) > [If you're a Brit you kinda get used to people being cold and aloof and just generally arrogant - particularly musicians. (Compared to Londoners…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/thea-gilmore/if-you-re-a-brit-you-kinda-get-used-to-people-being-cold-and-aloof/) [Thea Gilmore](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/thea-gilmore/) > [People tell me all the time that I look forbidding or aloof. That doesn't bother me much - I am fairly private, withdrawn, and...…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ric-ocasek/people-tell-me-all-the-time-that-i-look-forbidding-or-aloof-that/) [Ric Ocasek](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ric-ocasek/) > [I know that keeping aloof is not a wise thing but since I have nothing to prove, please don't depict me as an escapist.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/suresh-gopi/i-know-that-keeping-aloof-is-not-a-wise-thing-but-since-i-have/) [Suresh Gopi](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/suresh-gopi/) > [When I am with French people, I am not aloof because I belong to them. My view is that the French president belongs to…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/emmanuel-macron/when-i-am-with-french-people-i-am-not-aloof-because-i-belong-to-them/) [Emmanuel Macron](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/emmanuel-macron/) > [I was drawn to be very solitary as a scholar. I lived a very quiet life, aloof, with my books, with my walks in…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/frederick-lenz/i-was-drawn-to-be-very-solitary-as-a-scholar-i-lived-a-very-quiet/) [Frederick Lenz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/frederick-lenz/) [Browse all 146 Aloof quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/aloof/) ```json { "@context": "https://schema.org", "@graph": [ { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "You know, I think everybody I've seen has come from some other therapy, and almost invariably it's very much the same thing: the therapist is too disinterested, a little too aloof, a little too inactive. They're not really interested in the person, he doesn't relate to the person. 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