--- title: "Meaning & Key Takeaway of: Right, that's exactly what I mean by your…" description: "\"“Right, that's exactly what I mean by your being both the prisoner and the jailer.”\" — Irvin D. Yalom" image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/07e/irvin-d-yalom-1519_jailer_right-that-s-exactly-what-i-mean-by-your_2848221.png" --- # Right, that's exactly what I mean by your being both the… ![“Right, that's exactly what I mean by your being both the prisoner and the jailer.” quote by Irvin D. Yalom](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/07e/irvin-d-yalom-1519_jailer_right-that-s-exactly-what-i-mean-by-your_2848221.png) [Download](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/07e/irvin-d-yalom-1519_jailer_right-that-s-exactly-what-i-mean-by-your_2848221.png) [Open image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/07e/irvin-d-yalom-1519_jailer_right-that-s-exactly-what-i-mean-by-your_2848221.png) > ““Right, that's exactly what I mean by your being both the prisoner and the jailer.”” [Irvin D. Yalom](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/irvin-d-yalom/) ## About This Quote This interpretation was drafted with AI assistance. It is one reading of the quote, not the author's own explanation. One can be both the victim and the oppressor in a situation. **In simple terms:** People can be both captive and jailer. Key Takeaway Beware of dual roles in conflicts. Themes psychology conflict self-awareness Mood reflective introspective Type therapeutic philosophical When to use this quote - therapy sessions - workplace disputes - family dynamics Key Concepts dualism personal responsibility Questions to Reflect On - What role do you play in your own suffering? - How can you shift from oppressor to liberator? A Different Perspective Self‑imposed constraints limit freedom. ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ No ratings yet [Prison](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/prison/) [Prisoner](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/prisoner/) ## Related quotes > [“The prisoner is the jailer's jailer.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ursula-k-le-guin/the-prisoner-is-the-jailer-s-jailer/) [Ursula K. Le Guin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ursula-k-le-guin/) > [“A prisoner is imprisoned by the crime that he has committed. A jailer is imprisoned — in the very same prison — by the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mokokoma-mokhonoana/a-prisoner-is-imprisoned-by-the-crime-that-he-has-committed-a-jailer/) [Mokokoma Mokhonoana](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mokokoma-mokhonoana/) > [“I know that right here, right now, with him, is exactly where I´m supposed to be.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/i-know-that-right-here-right-now-with-him-is-exactly-where-i-m/) [Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/) > [“Every word the right one and exactly where it should be. That's basically the highest compliment I can give.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gabrielle-zevin/every-word-the-right-one-and-exactly-where-it-should-be-that-s/) [Gabrielle Zevin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/gabrielle-zevin/) > [I have never regarded any man as my superior, either in my life outside or inside prison.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nelson-mandela/i-have-never-regarded-any-man-as-my-superior-either-in-my-life/) [Nelson Mandela](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nelson-mandela/) > [Depression is a prison where you are both the suffering prisoner and the cruel jailer.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dorothy-rowe/depression-is-a-prison-where-you-are-both-the-suffering-prisoner-and/) [Dorothy Rowe](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dorothy-rowe/) > [“I never said you were supposed to be a jailer, i only said a normal person would have questioned why someone would create a…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/janette-rallison/i-never-said-you-were-supposed-to-be-a-jailer-i-only-said-a-normal/) [Janette Rallison](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/janette-rallison/) > [Now there is no taboo; everything is allowed. But one cannot simply go back to tonality, it’s not the way. We must find a…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gyorgy-ligeti/now-there-is-no-taboo-everything-is-allowed-but-one-cannot-simply-go/) [Gyorgy Ligeti](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/gyorgy-ligeti/) > [Remember the story of the Spanish prisoner. For many years he was confined in a dungeon... One day it occurred to him to push…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/winston-churchill/remember-the-story-of-the-spanish-prisoner-for-many-years-he-was/) [Winston Churchill](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/winston-churchill/) > [It appears that the murder rate inside prisons is ten times higher than that outside prisons. 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Byatt](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/a-s-byatt-2/) > [There's no straight line between closing the mental institutions and filling the prisons but there is some sort of relationship. And it's hard to…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/peter-moskos/there-s-no-straight-line-between-closing-the-mental-institutions-and/) [Peter Moskos](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/peter-moskos/) > [Arrival = Prison, and the artist must never be a prisoner.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/henri-matisse/arrival-prison-and-the-artist-must-never-be-a-prisoner/) [Henri Matisse](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/henri-matisse/) > [In the innermost recesses of humanism, as its very soul, there rages a frantic prisoner who, as a Fascist, turns the world into a…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/in-the-innermost-recesses-of-humanism-as-its-very-soul-there-rages-a/) [Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/) ## More by Irvin D. Yalom > [“ALAS, IF ALL HUMANS WERE WISE AND HAD MORE GOOD WILL THE WORLD WOULD BE A PARADISE NOW IT IS MOSTLY A HELL”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/irvin-d-yalom/alas-if-all-humans-were-wise-and-had-more-good-will-the-world-would/) [Irvin D. Yalom](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/irvin-d-yalom/) > [I dream of a love that is more than two people craving to possess one another.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/irvin-d-yalom/i-dream-of-a-love-that-is-more-than-two-people-craving-to-possess-one/) [Irvin D. Yalom](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/irvin-d-yalom/) > [“Ümitsizlik özfarkındalık uğruna ödenen bedeldir.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/irvin-d-yalom/mitsizlik-zfark-ndal-k-u-runa-denen-bedeldir/) [Irvin D. Yalom](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/irvin-d-yalom/) > [Therapists need to have a long experience in personal therapy to see what it's like to be on the other side of the couch…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/irvin-d-yalom/therapists-need-to-have-a-long-experience-in-personal-therapy-to-see/) [Irvin D. Yalom](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/irvin-d-yalom/) > [“Beginning therapists must learn that there are times to sit in silence, sometimes in silent communion, sometimes simply while waiting for patients' thoughts to…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/irvin-d-yalom/beginning-therapists-must-learn-that-there-are-times-to-sit-in/) [Irvin D. Yalom](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/irvin-d-yalom/) > [If one is to learn to live with the dead, one must first learn to live with the living!](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/irvin-d-yalom/if-one-is-to-learn-to-live-with-the-dead-one-must-first-learn-to-live/) [Irvin D. Yalom](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/irvin-d-yalom/) > [Specialness as a primary mode of death transcendence takes a number of other maladaptive forms. The drive for power is not uncommonly motivated by…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/irvin-d-yalom/specialness-as-a-primary-mode-of-death-transcendence-takes-a-number/) [Irvin D. Yalom](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/irvin-d-yalom/) > [“Exactly. We know that the great Goethe carried a copy of Spinoza’s Ethics in his pocket for a year. Imagine that—an entire year! And…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/irvin-d-yalom/exactly-we-know-that-the-great-goethe-carried-a-copy-of-spinoza-s/) [Irvin D. Yalom](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/irvin-d-yalom/) > [“Hope is the worst of evils because it protracts torment.” “Your”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/irvin-d-yalom/hope-is-the-worst-of-evils-because-it-protracts-torment-your/) [Irvin D. Yalom](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/irvin-d-yalom/) > [Mature love is loving, not being loved.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/irvin-d-yalom/mature-love-is-loving-not-being-loved/) [Irvin D. Yalom](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/irvin-d-yalom/) > [Absolute power, as we have always known, corrupts absolutely; it corrupts because it does not do the trick for the individual. Reality always creeps…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/irvin-d-yalom/absolute-power-as-we-have-always-known-corrupts-absolutely-it/) [Irvin D. Yalom](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/irvin-d-yalom/) > [“Indeed, the capacity to tolerate uncertainty is a prerequisite for the profession. Though the public may believe that therapists guide patients systematically and sure-handedly…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/irvin-d-yalom/indeed-the-capacity-to-tolerate-uncertainty-is-a-prerequisite-for-the/) [Irvin D. Yalom](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/irvin-d-yalom/) > [“Rollo May quipped that anxiety about nothing tries to become anxiety about something. In other words, anxiety about nothingness quickly attaches itself to a…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/irvin-d-yalom/rollo-may-quipped-that-anxiety-about-nothing-tries-to-become-anxiety/) [Irvin D. Yalom](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/irvin-d-yalom/) > [“I often urge patients to project themselves into the future and to consider how they can live now so that five years hence they…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/irvin-d-yalom/i-often-urge-patients-to-project-themselves-into-the-future-and-to/) [Irvin D. Yalom](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/irvin-d-yalom/) > [When people don't have any curiosity about themselves, that is always a bad sign.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/irvin-d-yalom/when-people-don-t-have-any-curiosity-about-themselves-that-is-always/) [Irvin D. Yalom](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/irvin-d-yalom/) [Explore all 184 Irvin D. Yalom quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/irvin-d-yalom/) ## More Jailer quotes > [“A prisoner is imprisoned by the crime that he has committed. A jailer is imprisoned — in the very same prison — by the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mokokoma-mokhonoana/a-prisoner-is-imprisoned-by-the-crime-that-he-has-committed-a-jailer/) [Mokokoma Mokhonoana](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mokokoma-mokhonoana/) > [Church membership was so important that Paul and Silas baptized the Philippian jailer into the membership of Christ's church at midnight with Paul's back…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jay-adams/church-membership-was-so-important-that-paul-and-silas-baptized-the/) [Jay Adams](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jay-adams/) > [I like to think of myself as a 'Mord the jailer' type.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/d-b-weiss/i-like-to-think-of-myself-as-a-mord-the-jailer-type/) [D. B. Weiss](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/d-b-weiss/) > [I think filmmaking should be a wonderfully free collaborative process, and it so very rarely is. I often see directors as jailers of my…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gary-oldman/i-think-filmmaking-should-be-a-wonderfully-free-collaborative-process/) [Gary Oldman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/gary-oldman/) > [“She was prisoner to an old, forgotten god, kept from her home, probably never to see it again, and yet... the way she sat,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sarah-diemer/she-was-prisoner-to-an-old-forgotten-god-kept-from-her-home-probably/) [Sarah Diemer](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sarah-diemer/) > [“I never said you were supposed to be a jailer, i only said a normal person would have questioned why someone would create a…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/janette-rallison/i-never-said-you-were-supposed-to-be-a-jailer-i-only-said-a-normal/) [Janette Rallison](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/janette-rallison/) > [Priests, kings, statesmen, soldiers, bankers and public functionaries of all sorts; policemen, jailers and hangmen; capitalists, usurers, businessmen and property-owners; lawyers, economists and politicians…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mikhail-bakunin/priests-kings-statesmen-soldiers-bankers-and-public-functionaries-of/) [Mikhail Bakunin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mikhail-bakunin/) > [Cage of freedom, that's our prison; we're the jailer and captive combined Cage of freedom, cast in power; all the trappings of our own…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jon-anderson/cage-of-freedom-that-s-our-prison-we-re-the-jailer-and-captive/) [Jon Anderson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jon-anderson/) > [Ah," said the jailer, "do not always brood over what is impossible, or you will be mad in a fortnight.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alexandre-dumas/ah-said-the-jailer-do-not-always-brood-over-what-is-impossible-or-you/) [Alexandre Dumas](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alexandre-dumas/) > [Americans are given the sole option of electing their jailer for four years and sometimes do him the honour of re-electing him.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/che-guevara/americans-are-given-the-sole-option-of-electing-their-jailer-for-four/) [Che Guevara](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/che-guevara/) > [“The prisoner is the jailer's jailer.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ursula-k-le-guin/the-prisoner-is-the-jailer-s-jailer/) [Ursula K. Le Guin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ursula-k-le-guin/) > [It's about realizing, painfully, you've kept that voice inside yourself, locked away from even yourself. And you step back and see that your jailer…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/tori-amos/it-s-about-realizing-painfully-you-ve-kept-that-voice-inside-yourself/) [Tori Amos](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/tori-amos/) > [A boy is a magical creature you can lock him out of your workshop, but you can't lock him out of your heart. You…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/a-boy-is-a-magical-creature-you-can-lock-him-out-of-your-workshop-but/) [Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/) > [Beware of those who seek to take care of you lest your caretakers become your jailers.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jim-rohn/beware-of-those-who-seek-to-take-care-of-you-lest-your-caretakers/) [Jim Rohn](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jim-rohn/) > [“No one took a smiling jailer seriously. A smiling executioner was worse.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/j-kyle-mcneal/no-one-took-a-smiling-jailer-seriously-a-smiling-executioner-was-worse/) [J. Kyle McNeal](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/j-kyle-mcneal/) Browse all 55 Jailer quotes ```json { "@context": "https://schema.org", "@graph": [ { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "“Right, that's exactly what I mean by your being both the prisoner and the jailer.”", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Irvin D. 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