--- title: "Meaning & Key Takeaway of: The lover readily imagines that he and…" description: "\"“The lover readily imagines that he and his mistress are one. He feels he has love enough for both and that his loving will can swathe the two of them ..." image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/81b/iris-murdoch-993_love_the-lover-readily-imagines-that-he-and-h_592396.jpg" --- # The lover readily imagines that he and his mistress are… ![“The lover readily imagines that he and his mistress are one. He feels he has love enough for both and that his loving will can swathe the two of them together like twin nuts in a shell. But what one loves is, after all, another human being, a person with other interests, other pains, in whose…” quote by Iris Murdoch](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/81b/iris-murdoch-993_love_the-lover-readily-imagines-that-he-and-h_592396.jpg) [Download](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/81b/iris-murdoch-993_love_the-lover-readily-imagines-that-he-and-h_592396.jpg) [Open image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/81b/iris-murdoch-993_love_the-lover-readily-imagines-that-he-and-h_592396.jpg) > ““The lover readily imagines that he and his mistress are one. He feels he has love enough for both and that his loving will can swathe the two of them together like twin nuts in a shell. But what one loves is, after all, another human being, a person with other interests, other pains, in whose world one is oneself an object among others.”” [Iris Murdoch](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/iris-murdoch/) ## About This Quote This interpretation was drafted with AI assistance. It is one reading of the quote, not the author's own explanation. Love often blurs boundaries, seeing the beloved as part of oneself while ignoring their separate identity. **In simple terms:** Love merges selves but ignores individuality. Key Takeaway Recognize the other’s autonomy. Themes love identity relationships Mood thoughtful introspective Type philosophical literary When to use this quote - marriage counseling - friendship - conflict resolution - personal growth Key Concepts subjectivity otherness interdependence Questions to Reflect On - Do you respect the other’s individuality? - How does merging affect your sense of self? A Different Perspective Idealizing unity can overlook personal needs. ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ No ratings yet [Love](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/love/) [Lover](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/lover/) [Mistress](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/mistress/) [Relationships](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/relationships/) ## Related quotes > [“Finding out that you are not your lover’s only lover hurts, but not as much as discovering that you are the side chick ……](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mokokoma-mokhonoana/finding-out-that-you-are-not-your-lover-s-only-lover-hurts-but-not-as/) [Mokokoma Mokhonoana](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mokokoma-mokhonoana/) > [I made numerous attempts to find a way to do it all, to be a creative singer, songwriter, producer, and to be the mother,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anita-baker/i-made-numerous-attempts-to-find-a-way-to-do-it-all-to-be-a-creative/) [Anita Baker](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anita-baker/) > [ I can assure the conspiracy theorists who have very effectively savaged \[Gerald\] Posner in their books that they're going to have a much, much… ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/vincent-bugliosi/i-can-assure-the-conspiracy-theorists-who-have-very-effectively/) [Vincent Bugliosi](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/vincent-bugliosi/) > [The man is always the last to know when Cupid has struck him -Anonymous, Memoirs of a Mistress](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sabrina-jeffries/the-man-is-always-the-last-to-know-when-cupid-has-struck-him/) [Sabrina Jeffries](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sabrina-jeffries/) > [When a man marries his mistress, then that leaves that position open.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/when-a-man-marries-his-mistress-then-that-leaves-that-position-open/) [Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/) > [ René of Anjou \[(1409-80)\] painted a picture of his mistress's corpse as he found it eaten by worms on having it \[her tomb\] openedon… ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/horace-walpole/ren-of-anjou-1409-80-painted-a-picture-of-his-mistress-s-corpse-as-he/) [Horace Walpole](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/horace-walpole/) > [“An accepted lover, who deserves to have been accepted, should devote every hour at his command to his mistress.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anthony-trollope/an-accepted-lover-who-deserves-to-have-been-accepted-should-devote/) [Anthony Trollope](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anthony-trollope/) > [That, sir, depends on whether I embrace your mistress or your politics.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-wilkes/that-sir-depends-on-whether-i-embrace-your-mistress-or-your-politics/) [John Wilkes](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-wilkes/) > [The future is religion and commerce, aphrodisiac and Benzedrine, a mother of mysterious comfort and a mistress of familiar ravishments ever on the verge…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/eugene-kennedy/the-future-is-religion-and-commerce-aphrodisiac-and-benzedrine-a/) [Eugene Kennedy](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/eugene-kennedy/) > [In the beginning, people prayed to the Creatress of Life, the Mistress of Heaven. At the very dawn of religion, God was a woman.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/merlin-stone/in-the-beginning-people-prayed-to-the-creatress-of-life-the-mistress/) [Merlin Stone](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/merlin-stone/) > [Dreadful sorry mistress. Ma always said I was too silly to die](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/tamora-pierce/dreadful-sorry-mistress-ma-always-said-i-was-too-silly-to-die/) [Tamora Pierce](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/tamora-pierce/) > [“But if you will not take this Counsel, and persist in thinking a Commerce with the Sex inevitable, then I repeat my former Advice,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/benjamin-franklin/but-if-you-will-not-take-this-counsel-and-persist-in-thinking-a/) [Benjamin Franklin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/benjamin-franklin/) > [The pleasures and the cares of the luckiest ambition, even of limitless power, are nothing next to the intimate happiness that tenderness and love…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/stendhal/the-pleasures-and-the-cares-of-the-luckiest-ambition-even-of/) [Stendhal](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/stendhal/) > [Chess is a good mistress but a bad master.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gerald-abrahams/chess-is-a-good-mistress-but-a-bad-master/) [Gerald Abrahams](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/gerald-abrahams/) > [The old men of the village of Mahotière say that the Mistress of the Water is a mulatto woman. At midnight she comes out…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jacques-roumain/the-old-men-of-the-village-of-mahoti-re-say-that-the-mistress-of-the/) [Jacques Roumain](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jacques-roumain/) ## More by Iris Murdoch > [Falling out of love is chiefly a matter of forgetting how charming someone is.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/iris-murdoch/falling-out-of-love-is-chiefly-a-matter-of-forgetting-how-charming/) [Iris Murdoch](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/iris-murdoch/) > [One doesn't have to get anywhere in a marriage. It's not a public conveyance.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/iris-murdoch/one-doesn-t-have-to-get-anywhere-in-a-marriage-it-s-not-a-public/) [Iris Murdoch](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/iris-murdoch/) > [“I think being a woman is like being Irish... Everyone says you're important and nice, but you take second place all the time.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/iris-murdoch/i-think-being-a-woman-is-like-being-irish-everyone-says-you-re/) [Iris Murdoch](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/iris-murdoch/) > [Art is the final cunning of the human soul which would rather do anything than face the gods.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/iris-murdoch/art-is-the-final-cunning-of-the-human-soul-which-would-rather-do/) [Iris Murdoch](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/iris-murdoch/) > [The sending of a letter constitutes a magical grasp upon the future.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/iris-murdoch/the-sending-of-a-letter-constitutes-a-magical-grasp-upon-the-future/) [Iris Murdoch](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/iris-murdoch/) > [emotions really exist at the bottom of the personality or at the top. in the middle they are acted. this is why all the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/iris-murdoch/emotions-really-exist-at-the-bottom-of-the-personality-or-at-the-top/) [Iris Murdoch](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/iris-murdoch/) > [I have used the word "attention," which I borrow from Simone Weil, to express the idea of a just and loving gaze directed upon…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/iris-murdoch/i-have-used-the-word-attention-which-i-borrow-from-simone-weil-to/) [Iris Murdoch](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/iris-murdoch/) > [Starting a novel is opening a door on a misty landscape; you can still see very little but you can smell the earth and…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/iris-murdoch/starting-a-novel-is-opening-a-door-on-a-misty-landscape-you-can-still/) [Iris Murdoch](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/iris-murdoch/) > [Art and morality are, with certain provisos…one. Their essence is the same. The essence of both of them is love. Love is the perception…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/iris-murdoch/art-and-morality-are-with-certain-provisos-one-their-essence-is-the/) [Iris Murdoch](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/iris-murdoch/) > [being homosexual doesn't determine a man's whole character any more than being heterosexual does.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/iris-murdoch/being-homosexual-doesn-t-determine-a-man-s-whole-character-any-more/) [Iris Murdoch](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/iris-murdoch/) > [All artists dream of a silence which they must enter, as some creatures return to the sea to spawn.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/iris-murdoch/all-artists-dream-of-a-silence-which-they-must-enter-as-some/) [Iris Murdoch](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/iris-murdoch/) > [“Oh if only I could take my mother away and never know of these things again. But it was impossible, the machine would go…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/iris-murdoch/oh-if-only-i-could-take-my-mother-away-and-never-know-of-these-things/) [Iris Murdoch](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/iris-murdoch/) > [We defend ourselves by descriptions and tame the world by generalizing.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/iris-murdoch/we-defend-ourselves-by-descriptions-and-tame-the-world-by-generalizing/) [Iris Murdoch](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/iris-murdoch/) > [“I'm sorry I was awful. I'm so full of terrors.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/iris-murdoch/i-m-sorry-i-was-awful-i-m-so-full-of-terrors/) [Iris Murdoch](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/iris-murdoch/) > [I live, I live, with an absolutely continuous sense of failure. I am always defeated, always. Every book is the wreck of a perfect…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/iris-murdoch/i-live-i-live-with-an-absolutely-continuous-sense-of-failure-i-am/) [Iris Murdoch](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/iris-murdoch/) [Explore all 306 Iris Murdoch quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/iris-murdoch/) ## More Love quotes > [Whatever meaning 'Annie's Song' had for me on a personal level, there was also a larger context. It could just as easily have been…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-denver/whatever-meaning-annie-s-song-had-for-me-on-a-personal-level-there/) [John Denver](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-denver/) > [Life is full of change. That's how we learn and grow.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/life-is-full-of-change-that-s-how-we-learn-and-grow/) [Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/) > [I need a bath." He chuckled. "You smell of smoke, as do I." The duke turned, leaning heavily on his cane. "Jameson, open the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/karen-hawkins/i-need-a-bath-he-chuckled-you-smell-of-smoke-as-do-i-the-duke-turned/) [Karen Hawkins](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/karen-hawkins/) > [I love going to Columbia, Missouri. That is a really underrated campus. It shocked me when I went there because I really didn't know…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kirk-herbstreit/i-love-going-to-columbia-missouri-that-is-a-really-underrated-campus/) [Kirk Herbstreit](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kirk-herbstreit/) > [Life works most perfectly when a reciprocal love relationship is in place between man and God.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/beth-moore/life-works-most-perfectly-when-a-reciprocal-love-relationship-is-in/) [Beth Moore](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/beth-moore/) > [We talk to God--that is prayer; God talks to us--that is inspiration.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/h-emilie-cady/we-talk-to-god-that-is-prayer-god-talks-to-us-that-is-inspiration/) [H. 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