--- title: "Meaning & Key Takeaway of: I know how much you grieve over those who…" description: "\"“I know how much you grieve over those who are under your care: those you try to help and fail, those you cannot help. Have faith in God and remember t..." image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/088/iris-murdoch-993_better-way_i-know-how-much-you-grieve-over-those-wh_2984871.jpg" --- # I know how much you grieve over those who are under your… ![“I know how much you grieve over those who are under your care: those you try to help and fail, those you cannot help. Have faith in God and remember that He will is His own way and in His own time complete what we so poorly attempt. Often we do not achieve for others the good that we intend but…” quote by Iris Murdoch](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/088/iris-murdoch-993_better-way_i-know-how-much-you-grieve-over-those-wh_2984871.jpg) [Download](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/088/iris-murdoch-993_better-way_i-know-how-much-you-grieve-over-those-wh_2984871.jpg) [Open image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/088/iris-murdoch-993_better-way_i-know-how-much-you-grieve-over-those-wh_2984871.jpg) > ““I know how much you grieve over those who are under your care: those you try to help and fail, those you cannot help. Have faith in God and remember that He will is His own way and in His own time complete what we so poorly attempt. Often we do not achieve for others the good that we intend but achieve something, something that goes on from our effort. Good is an overflow. Where we generously and sincerely intend it, we are engaged in a work of creation which may be mysterious even to ourselves - and because it is mysterious we may be afraid of it. But this should not make us draw back. God can always show us, if we will, a higher and a better way; and we can only learn to love by loving. Remember that all our failures are ultimately failures in love. Imperfect love must not be condemned and rejected but made perfect. The way is always forward, never back.”” [Iris Murdoch](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/iris-murdoch/) ## About This Quote This interpretation was drafted with AI assistance. It is one reading of the quote, not the author's own explanation. Love’s imperfections are part of growth; failures in caring are opportunities to deepen love and move forward. **In simple terms:** Imperfect love can become perfect through effort. Key Takeaway Embrace love’s messiness and keep progressing. Themes love faith imperfection growth spirituality resilience Mood reflective hopeful serene Type philosophical inspirational spiritual When to use this quote - counseling - volunteering - parenting - relationships - spiritual practice Key Concepts theology psychology ethics existentialism compassion Questions to Reflect On - How does suffering shape our capacity to love? - What practices help transform imperfect love into something greater? A Different Perspective Love alone cannot solve all problems; external factors matter. ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ No ratings yet [Better way](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/better-way/) [Failure](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/failure/) [Faith in god](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/faith-in-god/) [Imperfect love](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/imperfect-love/) [Love](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/love/) ## Related quotes > [All our failures are ultimately failures in love.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/iris-murdoch/all-our-failures-are-ultimately-failures-in-love/) [Iris Murdoch](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/iris-murdoch/) > [Failures to love are irremediable and irredeemable.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/storm-jameson/failures-to-love-are-irremediable-and-irredeemable/) [Storm Jameson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/storm-jameson/) > [We have much to be judged on when he comes, slums and battlefields and insane asylums, but these are the symptoms of our illness…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/madeleine-l-engle/we-have-much-to-be-judged-on-when-he-comes-slums-and-battlefields-and/) [Madeleine L'Engle](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/madeleine-l-engle/) > [Kindness and intelligence don't always deliver us from the pitfalls and traps: there are always failures of love, of will, of imagination. There is…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/barbara-grizzuti-harrison/kindness-and-intelligence-don-t-always-deliver-us-from-the-pitfalls/) [Barbara Grizzuti Harrison](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/barbara-grizzuti-harrison/) > [You learn just as much from your failures. Sometimes you love your failures even more.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/tina-weymouth/you-learn-just-as-much-from-your-failures-sometimes-you-love-your/) [Tina Weymouth](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/tina-weymouth/) > [“It should also be pointed out that some of the strains of smart mice were exceptionally timid compared to normal mice. Some suspect that,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/michio-kaku/it-should-also-be-pointed-out-that-some-of-the-strains-of-smart-mice/) [Michio Kaku](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/michio-kaku/) > [ALWAYS REMEMBER ' THAT THERE ARE NO FAILURES IN LIFE, THEY ARE BUT ONLY DOUBT ELIMINATORS - GJK](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/george-kincses/always-remember-that-there-are-no-failures-in-life-they-are-but-only/) [George Kincses](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/george-kincses/) > [“Never remember your failures but remember why you failed.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ludiah-mong-are/never-remember-your-failures-but-remember-why-you-failed/) [Ludiah Mong'are](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ludiah-mong-are/) > [Despite the successes, you remember the failures - rather lovingly.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/harold-prince/despite-the-successes-you-remember-the-failures-rather-lovingly/) [Harold Prince](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/harold-prince/) > [Brain surgeons are dealing with the very last thread of life, and they have to be very confident, but I think they tend to…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/james-nesbitt/brain-surgeons-are-dealing-with-the-very-last-thread-of-life-and-they/) [James Nesbitt](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/james-nesbitt/) > [I've probably failed more often than anybody else in Silicon Valley. Those don't matter. I don't remember the failures. You remember the big successes.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/vinod-khosla/i-ve-probably-failed-more-often-than-anybody-else-in-silicon-valley/) [Vinod Khosla](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/vinod-khosla/) > [Don’t get caught up in hopes of what you’ll achieve and how good your situation will be some day in the future. What you…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/pema-ch-dr-n/don-t-get-caught-up-in-hopes-of-what-you-ll-achieve-and-how-good-your/) [Pema Chodron](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/pema-ch-dr-n/) > [Nothing in life is easy. Don't expect things to be given to you. Go out and achieve them. Good things come to those who…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/melchor-lim/nothing-in-life-is-easy-don-t-expect-things-to-be-given-to-you-go-out/) [Melchor Lim](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/melchor-lim/) > [Have faith and you will achieve. Good things happen when you believe.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nishan-panwar/have-faith-and-you-will-achieve-good-things-happen-when-you-believe/) [Nishan Panwar](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nishan-panwar/) > [I think one thing we went through was common to a lot of people: You work your whole life to achieve something, then you…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/elliot-easton/i-think-one-thing-we-went-through-was-common-to-a-lot-of-people-you/) Elliot Easton ## More by Iris Murdoch > [Falling out of love is chiefly a matter of forgetting how charming someone is.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/iris-murdoch/falling-out-of-love-is-chiefly-a-matter-of-forgetting-how-charming/) [Iris Murdoch](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/iris-murdoch/) > [One doesn't have to get anywhere in a marriage. It's not a public conveyance.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/iris-murdoch/one-doesn-t-have-to-get-anywhere-in-a-marriage-it-s-not-a-public/) [Iris Murdoch](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/iris-murdoch/) > [“I think being a woman is like being Irish... Everyone says you're important and nice, but you take second place all the time.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/iris-murdoch/i-think-being-a-woman-is-like-being-irish-everyone-says-you-re/) [Iris Murdoch](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/iris-murdoch/) > [Art is the final cunning of the human soul which would rather do anything than face the gods.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/iris-murdoch/art-is-the-final-cunning-of-the-human-soul-which-would-rather-do/) [Iris Murdoch](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/iris-murdoch/) > [The sending of a letter constitutes a magical grasp upon the future.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/iris-murdoch/the-sending-of-a-letter-constitutes-a-magical-grasp-upon-the-future/) [Iris Murdoch](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/iris-murdoch/) > [emotions really exist at the bottom of the personality or at the top. in the middle they are acted. this is why all the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/iris-murdoch/emotions-really-exist-at-the-bottom-of-the-personality-or-at-the-top/) [Iris Murdoch](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/iris-murdoch/) > [I have used the word "attention," which I borrow from Simone Weil, to express the idea of a just and loving gaze directed upon…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/iris-murdoch/i-have-used-the-word-attention-which-i-borrow-from-simone-weil-to/) [Iris Murdoch](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/iris-murdoch/) > [Starting a novel is opening a door on a misty landscape; you can still see very little but you can smell the earth and…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/iris-murdoch/starting-a-novel-is-opening-a-door-on-a-misty-landscape-you-can-still/) [Iris Murdoch](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/iris-murdoch/) > [Art and morality are, with certain provisos…one. Their essence is the same. The essence of both of them is love. Love is the perception…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/iris-murdoch/art-and-morality-are-with-certain-provisos-one-their-essence-is-the/) [Iris Murdoch](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/iris-murdoch/) > [being homosexual doesn't determine a man's whole character any more than being heterosexual does.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/iris-murdoch/being-homosexual-doesn-t-determine-a-man-s-whole-character-any-more/) [Iris Murdoch](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/iris-murdoch/) > [All artists dream of a silence which they must enter, as some creatures return to the sea to spawn.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/iris-murdoch/all-artists-dream-of-a-silence-which-they-must-enter-as-some/) [Iris Murdoch](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/iris-murdoch/) > [“Oh if only I could take my mother away and never know of these things again. But it was impossible, the machine would go…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/iris-murdoch/oh-if-only-i-could-take-my-mother-away-and-never-know-of-these-things/) [Iris Murdoch](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/iris-murdoch/) > [We defend ourselves by descriptions and tame the world by generalizing.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/iris-murdoch/we-defend-ourselves-by-descriptions-and-tame-the-world-by-generalizing/) [Iris Murdoch](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/iris-murdoch/) > [“I'm sorry I was awful. I'm so full of terrors.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/iris-murdoch/i-m-sorry-i-was-awful-i-m-so-full-of-terrors/) [Iris Murdoch](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/iris-murdoch/) > [I live, I live, with an absolutely continuous sense of failure. I am always defeated, always. Every book is the wreck of a perfect…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/iris-murdoch/i-live-i-live-with-an-absolutely-continuous-sense-of-failure-i-am/) [Iris Murdoch](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/iris-murdoch/) [Explore all 306 Iris Murdoch quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/iris-murdoch/) ## More Better way quotes > [We're also fairly stubborn, I think, fairly independent. We have our share of difficulties with our federal government, although I've tried to as I…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dan-miller/we-re-also-fairly-stubborn-i-think-fairly-independent-we-have-our/) [Dan Miller](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dan-miller/) > [You know, I'm blessed. 'Blessed' is a better way of saying 'rich.'](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/roseanne-barr/you-know-i-m-blessed-blessed-is-a-better-way-of-saying-rich/) [Roseanne Barr](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/roseanne-barr/) > [I believe there should be a better way to start each day...instead of waking up every morning...](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/i-believe-there-should-be-a-better-way-to-start-each-day-instead-of/) [Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/) > [WE NEED TO TALK. Why do we fear these four little words? Why do they arouse the same physical protective responses that occur in…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/santanu-mishra/we-need-to-talk-why-do-we-fear-these-four-little-words-why-do-they/) [Santanu Mishra](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/santanu-mishra/) > [If you really know how to live, what better way to start the day than with a smile?](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nhat-hanh/if-you-really-know-how-to-live-what-better-way-to-start-the-day-than/) [Nhat Hanh](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nhat-hanh/) > [“Frequently, when I suggest to people that they detach from a person or problem, they recoil in horror. “Oh, no!” they say. “I could…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/melody-beattie/frequently-when-i-suggest-to-people-that-they-detach-from-a-person-or/) [Melody Beattie](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/melody-beattie/) > [“I was reminded ... the way that wood crumbles into dissolution.’ ‘The release of energy. Perhaps a better way of seeing it.’ ‘Such release…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/steven-erikson/i-was-reminded-the-way-that-wood-crumbles-into-dissolution-the/) [Steven Erikson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/steven-erikson/) > [I explain at the parties that I believe knitting is a transformative and intriguing act that can change the life and brain of the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/stephanie-pearl-mcphee/i-explain-at-the-parties-that-i-believe-knitting-is-a-transformative/) [Stephanie Pearl-McPhee](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/stephanie-pearl-mcphee/) > [“No better way to avoid making a decision than burying yourself in a big fat book.” (p. 105).”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/elizabeth-bard/no-better-way-to-avoid-making-a-decision-than-burying-yourself-in-a/) [Elizabeth Bard](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/elizabeth-bard/) > [Failure does not mean that God has left you, but it does mean that God has a better way and idea for you to…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/prodigy/failure-does-not-mean-that-god-has-left-you-but-it-does-mean-that-god/) [Prodigy](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/prodigy/) > [The answer lies in preventing these failures, not in looking for better ways to fix the people who are failing.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/william-glasser/the-answer-lies-in-preventing-these-failures-not-in-looking-for/) [William Glasser](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/william-glasser/) > [There never was a tonic that would cure more social ailments than a healthy, happy home. 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Evans](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/richard-l-evans/) > [It's a truly disgusting idea that the creator of the universe - capable of inventing the laws of physics and designing the evolutionary process…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/richard-dawkins/it-s-a-truly-disgusting-idea-that-the-creator-of-the-universe-capable/) [Richard Dawkins](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/richard-dawkins/) > [It was only after I had been out of the art school that I actually copied a small Seurat, and I copied it in…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bridget-riley/it-was-only-after-i-had-been-out-of-the-art-school-that-i-actually/) [Bridget Riley](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bridget-riley/) > [There is no better way of elevating the novel than by making it into a construct which contains ideas.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/heinrich-mann/there-is-no-better-way-of-elevating-the-novel-than-by-making-it-into/) Heinrich Mann [Browse all 882 Better way quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/better-way/) ```json { "@context": "https://schema.org", "@graph": [ { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "“I know how much you grieve over those who are under your care: those you try to help and fail, those you cannot help. 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