--- title: "Meaning & Key Takeaway of: Marriage is like a barbecue. When you…" description: "\"Marriage is like a barbecue. When you light a barbecue, it's very exciting to see the flames. That's lovely, but you have to wait until the flames have..." image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/a9c/howard-jacobson-1484_barbecue_marriage-is-like-a-barbecue-when-you-lig_599254.jpg" --- # Marriage is like a barbecue. When you light a barbecue… ![“Marriage is like a barbecue. When you light a barbecue, it's very exciting to see the flames. That's lovely, but you have to wait until the flames have died down. Everything that you want from a barbecue happens on the hot embers. You can't cook on those flames.” quote by Howard Jacobson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/a9c/howard-jacobson-1484_barbecue_marriage-is-like-a-barbecue-when-you-lig_599254.jpg) [Download](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/a9c/howard-jacobson-1484_barbecue_marriage-is-like-a-barbecue-when-you-lig_599254.jpg) [Open image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/a9c/howard-jacobson-1484_barbecue_marriage-is-like-a-barbecue-when-you-lig_599254.jpg) > “Marriage is like a barbecue. When you light a barbecue, it's very exciting to see the flames. That's lovely, but you have to wait until the flames have died down. Everything that you want from a barbecue happens on the hot embers. You can't cook on those flames.” [Howard Jacobson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/howard-jacobson/) ## About This Quote This interpretation was drafted with AI assistance. It is one reading of the quote, not the author's own explanation. Marriage requires patience; initial excitement fades, and lasting fulfillment comes from steady, moderate effort rather than intense bursts. **In simple terms:** Love needs calm, steady care after excitement. Key Takeaway Cultivate patience and steady effort in relationships. Themes patience relationships moderation expectations growth Mood reflective thoughtful hopeful Type advice philosophical relationship When to use this quote - early dating - conflict resolution - building trust - shared projects - parenting Key Concepts emotional intelligence relationship dynamics long‑term satisfaction Questions to Reflect On - How do you maintain connection after the initial excitement fades? - What steady habits support lasting love? A Different Perspective Intense passion alone cannot sustain a partnership without ongoing nurturing. ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ No ratings yet [Light](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/light/) [Marriage](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/marriage/) ## Related quotes > [Come on outside when youʹre done,ʺ I told her. ʺItʹs like the barbecue of the damned. Except . . . thereʹs no grill.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/richelle-mead/come-on-outside-when-you-re-done-i-told-her-it-s-like-the-barbecue-of/) [Richelle Mead](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/richelle-mead/) > [I don't know why men like to barbecue so much. Maybe its the only thing they can cook. Or maybe they're just closet pyromaniacs.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/cecelia-ahern/i-don-t-know-why-men-like-to-barbecue-so-much-maybe-its-the-only/) [Cecelia Ahern](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/cecelia-ahern/) > [Another way I like to barbecue king salmon is as a whole fish stuffed, literally to the gills, with sweet onions, sliced lemons, and…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/tom-douglas/another-way-i-like-to-barbecue-king-salmon-is-as-a-whole-fish-stuffed/) [Tom Douglas](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/tom-douglas/) > [He won’t last long, akri. Thanatos is barbecue. And I like my barbecue. Just tell me how you want him, akri, normal recipe or…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sherrilyn-kenyon/he-won-t-last-long-akri-thanatos-is-barbecue-and-i-like-my-barbecue/) [Sherrilyn Kenyon](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sherrilyn-kenyon/) > [Men like to barbecue. Men will cook if danger is involved.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/rita-rudner/men-like-to-barbecue-men-will-cook-if-danger-is-involved/) [Rita Rudner](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/rita-rudner/) > [Yeah, and I like barbecue Fuckin' with me, I'm fuckin' with you](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/odd-future/yeah-and-i-like-barbecue-fuckin-with-me-i-m-fuckin-with-you/) Odd Future > [And when I told my sons I might be in City of Ember, they said, 'Oh! You're gonna be the mayor?' And I hadn't…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bill-murray/and-when-i-told-my-sons-i-might-be-in-city-of-ember-they-said-oh-you/) [Bill Murray](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bill-murray/) > [Ods me I marle what pleasure or felicity they have in taking their roguish tobacco. It is good for nothing but to choke a…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ben-jonson/ods-me-i-marle-what-pleasure-or-felicity-they-have-in-taking-their/) [Ben Jonson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ben-jonson/) > [He set fire to some potatoes, then cooked some undelivered post in the embers." - Dad "Did he now? What a strange fellow. I…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jasper-fforde/he-set-fire-to-some-potatoes-then-cooked-some-undelivered-post-in-the/) [Jasper Fforde](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jasper-fforde/) > [“Flames beaten by the Ocean's Rage; Shrouded in Molten Haze; Blithely sheathed in Splendor. An Angel rises from the Embers. Calming Waters brew Courage…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/renee-rentmeester/flames-beaten-by-the-ocean-s-rage-shrouded-in-molten-haze-blithely/) [Renee Rentmeester](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/renee-rentmeester/) > [Mars tugs at the human imagination like no other planet. With a force mightier than gravity, it attracts the eye to its shimmering red…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-noble-wilford/mars-tugs-at-the-human-imagination-like-no-other-planet-with-a-force/) John Noble Wilford > [It's there. The white rose among the dried flowers in the vase. Shriveled and fragile, but holding on to that unnatural perfection cultivated in…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/suzanne-collins/it-s-there-the-white-rose-among-the-dried-flowers-in-the-vase/) [Suzanne Collins](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/suzanne-collins/) > [Will closed his eyes. 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Holland](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jeffrey-r-holland/) ## More by Howard Jacobson > [Everything is allowable in literature, but what is not allowable in criticism is objection on the grounds of probability.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/howard-jacobson/everything-is-allowable-in-literature-but-what-is-not-allowable-in/) [Howard Jacobson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/howard-jacobson/) > [There's a simple arithmetical logic at work. Build more unaffordable and not always architecturally sympathetic apartments, watch the rents rise, the tarts leave, the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/howard-jacobson/there-s-a-simple-arithmetical-logic-at-work-build-more-unaffordable/) [Howard Jacobson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/howard-jacobson/) > [The novel is a thing of irony and ambiguity. That's at the heart of 'J', a world that has stopped arguing with itself. We…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/howard-jacobson/the-novel-is-a-thing-of-irony-and-ambiguity-that-s-at-the-heart-of-j/) [Howard Jacobson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/howard-jacobson/) > [I was a 'reverence for life' man - 'see life steadily and see it whole' - in my days as a lecturer in English…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/howard-jacobson/i-was-a-reverence-for-life-man-see-life-steadily-and-see-it-whole-in/) [Howard Jacobson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/howard-jacobson/) > [How Donald Trump has come so far with so few words - how he even managed to keep up conversationally with all those beauty…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/howard-jacobson/how-donald-trump-has-come-so-far-with-so-few-words-how-he-even/) [Howard Jacobson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/howard-jacobson/) > [It is a nonsense to me when people come along and tell me not to be pessimistic; or that culture has always been going…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/howard-jacobson/it-is-a-nonsense-to-me-when-people-come-along-and-tell-me-not-to-be/) [Howard Jacobson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/howard-jacobson/) > [For me a Writing Day was an occasion for self-reproach and panic, a time to lament the passing of the years, stare out of…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/howard-jacobson/for-me-a-writing-day-was-an-occasion-for-self-reproach-and-panic-a/) [Howard Jacobson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/howard-jacobson/) > [Even the wordiest of men know there's a time to button it.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/howard-jacobson/even-the-wordiest-of-men-know-there-s-a-time-to-button-it/) [Howard Jacobson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/howard-jacobson/) > [That a nation's statuary will reflect beliefs and attitudes that are no longer current or congenial hardly needs arguing. In most instances, it doesn't…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/howard-jacobson/that-a-nation-s-statuary-will-reflect-beliefs-and-attitudes-that-are/) [Howard Jacobson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/howard-jacobson/) > [“Was he a bad man or just a foolish one? He didn't feel bad to himself. As a husband he believed himself to be…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/howard-jacobson/was-he-a-bad-man-or-just-a-foolish-one-he-didn-t-feel-bad-to-himself/) [Howard Jacobson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/howard-jacobson/) > [The young come in many guises: vigorous and passionate, vindictive and mean-spirited. And not every person over 65 is dozing in a retirement home.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/howard-jacobson/the-young-come-in-many-guises-vigorous-and-passionate-vindictive-and/) [Howard Jacobson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/howard-jacobson/) > [To a philosopher like Nietzsche, the Jew is culpable not for rejecting Christianity but for inventing it.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/howard-jacobson/to-a-philosopher-like-nietzsche-the-jew-is-culpable-not-for-rejecting/) [Howard Jacobson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/howard-jacobson/) > [Shakespeare's always been sitting on my back, since I began reading. And, certainly, as a writer, he's who I hear all the time. And…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/howard-jacobson/shakespeare-s-always-been-sitting-on-my-back-since-i-began-reading/) [Howard Jacobson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/howard-jacobson/) > [A novelist should make you realize nothing is stable. If you don't believe anything with robustness, you're doing something more radical than anything else.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/howard-jacobson/a-novelist-should-make-you-realize-nothing-is-stable-if-you-don-t/) [Howard Jacobson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/howard-jacobson/) > [The Stop The War Coalition is a sort of home to Jew-haters because its hate music about Israel is so catchy.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/howard-jacobson/the-stop-the-war-coalition-is-a-sort-of-home-to-jew-haters-because/) [Howard Jacobson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/howard-jacobson/) [Explore all 235 Howard Jacobson quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/howard-jacobson/) ## More Barbecue quotes > [Many individuals spend a considerable portion of their lifetimes in terror of one imagined catastrophe or another. The classic is that your immortal soul…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/l-neil-smith/many-individuals-spend-a-considerable-portion-of-their-lifetimes-in/) [L. Neil Smith](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/l-neil-smith/) > [I think I can capture the taste buds of the average right-wing conservative who loves barbecue.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bobby-seale/i-think-i-can-capture-the-taste-buds-of-the-average-right-wing/) [Bobby Seale](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bobby-seale/) > [The price of barbecue is eternal vigilance.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/thomas-jefferson/the-price-of-barbecue-is-eternal-vigilance/) [Thomas Jefferson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/thomas-jefferson/) > [No one would barbecue their family dog. Why is a cow or a pig or a chicken different?](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mike-ness/no-one-would-barbecue-their-family-dog-why-is-a-cow-or-a-pig-or-a/) [Mike Ness](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mike-ness/) > [I felt like I couldn't meet a single rich person. Regardless of where I live, they don't want to talk to me. I threw…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/chris-cubas/i-felt-like-i-couldn-t-meet-a-single-rich-person-regardless-of-where/) [Chris Cubas](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/chris-cubas/) > [Tell him to leave me alone, Astrid. Else I’ll have to barbecue him and make akri angry at me. I don’t want to make…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sherrilyn-kenyon/tell-him-to-leave-me-alone-astrid-else-i-ll-have-to-barbecue-him-and/) [Sherrilyn Kenyon](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sherrilyn-kenyon/) > [He cleared his throat and reminded himself that if you pissed Her Holiness off, they'd need barbecue tongs to pick up your steaming pieces.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/he-cleared-his-throat-and-reminded-himself-that-if-you-pissed-her/) [Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/) > [Obviously, for my line of work, I cannot eat barbecue that often. It takes a little bit to digest and it's not the healthiest…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/marc-gasol/obviously-for-my-line-of-work-i-cannot-eat-barbecue-that-often-it/) [Marc Gasol](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/marc-gasol/) > [(The baby sneezed. Wulf jumped as fire shot out of its nostrils and almost singed his leg.) Excuse me. I almost made Dark-Hunter barbecue,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sherrilyn-kenyon/the-baby-sneezed-wulf-jumped-as-fire-shot-out-of-its-nostrils-and/) [Sherrilyn Kenyon](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sherrilyn-kenyon/) > [“She had to laugh. "You're making me hungry." "Me, too." His gaze locked with hers, making it clear it wasn't just barbecue he was…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/b-j-daniels/she-had-to-laugh-you-re-making-me-hungry-me-too-his-gaze-locked-with/) [B.J. Daniels](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/b-j-daniels/) > [The Simi gots some barbecue sauce in her bag. It kind of looks like blood if you squint at it the right way. And…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sherrilyn-kenyon/the-simi-gots-some-barbecue-sauce-in-her-bag-it-kind-of-looks-like/) [Sherrilyn Kenyon](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sherrilyn-kenyon/) > [I don't diet. There's going to be barbecues and macaroni and cheese - but I'll have broccoli and salad the next day.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ginnifer-goodwin/i-don-t-diet-there-s-going-to-be-barbecues-and-macaroni-and-cheese/) [Ginnifer Goodwin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ginnifer-goodwin/) > [Every year, I do a New Year's day party at my home. I invite my staff and my friends and their kids. Around 40-50…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nobu-matsuhisa/every-year-i-do-a-new-year-s-day-party-at-my-home-i-invite-my-staff/) [Nobu Matsuhisa](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nobu-matsuhisa/) > [In England "The Day After," though unpopular with viewers, seems to have confirmed the average Englishman's mindless prejudice against Kansas. 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