--- title: "Meaning & Key Takeaway of: The dilemma I was faced with was one…" description: "\"“The dilemma I was faced with was one every parent faces sooner or later: you want to defend your child, of course; you stand up for your child, but yo..." image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/807/herman-koch-7856_bullying_the-dilemma-i-was-faced-with-was-one-eve_2018470.jpg" --- # The dilemma I was faced with was one every parent faces… ![“The dilemma I was faced with was one every parent faces sooner or later: you want to defend your child, of course; you stand up for your child, but you mustn't do it all too vehemently, and above all not too eloquently - you mustn't drive anyone into a corner. The educators, the teachers, will let…” quote by Herman Koch](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/807/herman-koch-7856_bullying_the-dilemma-i-was-faced-with-was-one-eve_2018470.jpg) [Download](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/807/herman-koch-7856_bullying_the-dilemma-i-was-faced-with-was-one-eve_2018470.jpg) [Open image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/807/herman-koch-7856_bullying_the-dilemma-i-was-faced-with-was-one-eve_2018470.jpg) > ““The dilemma I was faced with was one every parent faces sooner or later: you want to defend your child, of course; you stand up for your child, but you mustn't do it all too vehemently, and above all not too eloquently - you mustn't drive anyone into a corner. The educators, the teachers, will let you have your say, but afterwards they'll take revenge on your child. You may come up with better arguments - it's not too hard to come up with better arguments than the educators, the teachers - but in the end, your child to going to pay for it. Their frustration at being shown up is something they'll take out on the student.”” [Herman Koch](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/herman-koch/) ## About This Quote This interpretation was drafted with AI assistance. It is one reading of the quote, not the author's own explanation. Parents must protect children without provoking educators, balancing advocacy with restraint to avoid retaliation. **In simple terms:** Protect kids gently, avoid provoking teachers. Key Takeaway Speak up calmly, avoid escalation. Themes parenting advocacy conflict education communication Mood concerned reflective Type advice cautionary When to use this quote - parent‑teacher meetings - school disputes - advocacy letters - public complaints Key Concepts power dynamics social pressure reputation management Questions to Reflect On - How can you support your child without alienating teachers? - What strategies keep advocacy effective yet diplomatic? A Different Perspective Over‑defending can backfire, harming the child you aim to protect. ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ No ratings yet [Arguments Educators](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/arguments-educators-3643119/) [Arguments Hard](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/arguments-hard-1184563/) [Bullying](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/bullying/) [Children](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/children/) [Defend Child](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/defend-child-3643118/) [Dilemma Faced](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/dilemma-faced-1905198/) [Parent Faces](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/parent-faces-3643120/) [Parenting](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/parenting/) [Public education](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/public-education/) [Sooner or later](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/sooner-or-later/) ## Related quotes > [“No culture has yet solved the dilemma each has faced with the growth of a conscious mind: how to live a moral and compassionate…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/barry-l-pez/no-culture-has-yet-solved-the-dilemma-each-has-faced-with-the-growth-2/) [Barry López](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/barry-l-pez/) > [I suppose that every relationship I have been in has had a lot of arguments. 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I have visited some of the best schools in Bengal and Bombay,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/keshub-chandra-sen/bombay-is-far-ahead-of-bengal-in-the-matter-of-female-education-i/) [Keshub Chandra Sen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/keshub-chandra-sen/) > [We are afraid to face the hard questions. We are willing to tackle drugs, crime, and public education only if it doesn't cost us…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/j-irwin-miller/we-are-afraid-to-face-the-hard-questions-we-are-willing-to-tackle/) [J. Irwin Miller](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/j-irwin-miller/) > [Our public education system does a great job. I don't think it's broken. We aren't interested in doing reform for reform's sake. I believe…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/denise-juneau/our-public-education-system-does-a-great-job-i-don-t-think-it-s/) [Denise Juneau](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/denise-juneau/) > [I think Democrats are right. We fight for the American dream, for the environment, for privacy rights, a woman's right to choose, a good…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/barbara-boxer/i-think-democrats-are-right-we-fight-for-the-american-dream-for-the/) [Barbara Boxer](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/barbara-boxer/) > [ Randi Weingarten, head of the American Federation of Teachers, calls \[Betsy\] DeVos the most ideological, anti-public education nominee since the creation of the U.S.… ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/claudio-sanchez/randi-weingarten-head-of-the-american-federation-of-teachers-calls/) [Claudio Sanchez](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/claudio-sanchez/) ## More by Herman Koch > [“We looked at each other. At that moment, I was also a hundred percent sure that Van Dieren and I were thinking the same…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/herman-koch/we-looked-at-each-other-at-that-moment-i-was-also-a-hundred-percent/) [Herman Koch](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/herman-koch/) > [The stupid woman is the one who thinks she doesn’t need any help.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/herman-koch/the-stupid-woman-is-the-one-who-thinks-she-doesn-t-need-any-help/) [Herman Koch](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/herman-koch/) > [“Christ, what an asshole!" Babette said.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/herman-koch/christ-what-an-asshole-babette-said/) [Herman Koch](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/herman-koch/) > [“Some people might say it's not smart to be so insecure about what you wear. But that's not how I see it. 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What double lives are…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/herman-koch/in-one-way-or-another-every-parent-is-curious-what-their-children/) [Herman Koch](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/herman-koch/) > [“Life as a widow, she thinks, will always be like this. The friends will go on proposing toasts for months (for years!). To her.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/herman-koch/life-as-a-widow-she-thinks-will-always-be-like-this-the-friends-will/) [Herman koch](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/herman-koch/) > [“Er was een dokter in de zaal.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/herman-koch/er-was-een-dokter-in-de-zaal/) [Herman Koch](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/herman-koch/) > [“The smile remained suspended on her face, but it was as though it had been disconnected from the emotion behind it – if there…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/herman-koch/the-smile-remained-suspended-on-her-face-but-it-was-as-though-it-had/) [Herman Koch](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/herman-koch/) > [“I let go of the pump as well now. I registered a sense of fatigue. And regret. It was the same fatigue and regret…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/herman-koch/i-let-go-of-the-pump-as-well-now-i-registered-a-sense-of-fatigue-and/) [Herman Koch](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/herman-koch/) > [“Is it life threatening?” they asked. They said it slightly sotto voce, but you could hear the thirst for sensation right through it: when…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/herman-koch/is-it-life-threatening-they-asked-they-said-it-slightly-sotto-voce/) [Herman Koch](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/herman-koch/) > [“happiness needs nothing but itself, it doesn’t have to be validated.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/herman-koch/happiness-needs-nothing-but-itself-it-doesn-t-have-to-be-validated/) [Herman Koch](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/herman-koch/) > [Around here, we're as happy as God in France.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/herman-koch/around-here-we-re-as-happy-as-god-in-france/) [Herman Koch](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/herman-koch/) > [“...het was van dat weer dat je niet weet of het al avond wordt of dat de dag nog moet beginnen...”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/herman-koch/het-was-van-dat-weer-dat-je-niet-weet-of-het-al-avond-wordt-of-dat-de/) [Herman Koch](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/herman-koch/) [Explore all 65 Herman Koch quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/herman-koch/) ## More Bullying quotes > [When it comes to bullying small businesses, Donald Trump is the poster boy.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/hillary-clinton/when-it-comes-to-bullying-small-businesses-donald-trump-is-the-poster/) [Hillary Clinton](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/hillary-clinton/) > [I never caught on to being a bully.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nick-nolte/i-never-caught-on-to-being-a-bully/) [Nick Nolte](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nick-nolte/) > [“Don’t turn your face away. Once you’ve seen, you can no longer act like you don’t know. Open your eyes to the truth. It’s…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/vashti-quiroz-vega/don-t-turn-your-face-away-once-you-ve-seen-you-can-no-longer-act-like/) [Vashti Quiroz-Vega](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/vashti-quiroz-vega/) > [I think the sooner that all of us in society stop accepting any type of bullying or harassment from other people - in spite…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jason-priestley/i-think-the-sooner-that-all-of-us-in-society-stop-accepting-any-type/) [Jason Priestley](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jason-priestley/) > [Have a heart, Lend a hand, To help a friend, Stop bullying!](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/babloo/have-a-heart-lend-a-hand-to-help-a-friend-stop-bullying/) [Babloo](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/babloo/) > [Any kind of restrictions put on free speech would have worse consequences than bullying.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lady-starlight/any-kind-of-restrictions-put-on-free-speech-would-have-worse/) [Lady Starlight](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lady-starlight/) > [I think everyone has been annoyed at school or in their life, that's a type of bullying. So, you can take those feelings and…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kodi-smit-mcphee/i-think-everyone-has-been-annoyed-at-school-or-in-their-life-that-s-a/) [Kodi Smit-McPhee](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kodi-smit-mcphee/) > [I just dont know why people stalk. like forreal why? it's a big waste of your time! and plus its called cyberstalking. which is…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/patience/i-just-dont-know-why-people-stalk-like-forreal-why-it-s-a-big-waste/) [Patience](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/patience/) > [Each Act of Parliament intended to address harassment and discrimination has faced objections on the basis of 'you'll never be able to prove...' and…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/tim-field/each-act-of-parliament-intended-to-address-harassment-and/) [Tim Field](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/tim-field/) > [“Why I am Passionate and Dedicated 1000% to producing and bringing my books Loving Summer, Bitter Frost, and other book series to the Screen…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kailin-gow/why-i-am-passionate-and-dedicated-1000-to-producing-and-bringing-my/) [Kailin Gow](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kailin-gow/) > [ \[Putin\] is a bully. And bullies only understand when we punch them in the nose, but we need to do that economically. ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kelly-ayotte/putin-is-a-bully-and-bullies-only-understand-when-we-punch-them-in/) [Kelly Ayotte](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kelly-ayotte/) > [“It is chilling to know that some accepted ways of being with children can leave them vulnerable to suffering from anxiety, depression, or rage…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/natalie-taylor/it-is-chilling-to-know-that-some-accepted-ways-of-being-with-children/) [Natalie Taylor](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/natalie-taylor/) > [Bullies enjoy dark happiness; these are the blank parts that eventually fill their minds with nothingness.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/emily-shanks/bullies-enjoy-dark-happiness-these-are-the-blank-parts-that/) [Emily Shanks](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/emily-shanks/) > [Melissa McCarthy just opened this new movie, 'Identity Thief,' and Rex Reed, who's a known critic, wrote a scathing commentary on her weight. I…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/josh-gad/melissa-mccarthy-just-opened-this-new-movie-identity-thief-and-rex/) [Josh Gad](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/josh-gad/) > [Nothing can prepare you for living or working with a sociopathic serial bully. It is the most devastating, draining, misunderstood, and ultimately futile experience…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/tim-field/nothing-can-prepare-you-for-living-or-working-with-a-sociopathic/) [Tim Field](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/tim-field/) [Browse all 1,611 Bullying quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/bullying/) ```json { "@context": "https://schema.org", "@graph": [ { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "“The dilemma I was faced with was one every parent faces sooner or later: you want to defend your child, of course; you stand up for your child, but you mustn't do it all too vehemently, and above all not too eloquently - you mustn't drive anyone into a corner. The educators, the teachers, will let you have your say, but afterwards they'll take revenge on your child. You may come up with better arguments - it's not too hard to come up with better arguments than the educators, the teachers - but in the end, your child to going to pay for it. 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