--- title: "Meaning & Key Takeaway of: How often we find ourselves turning our…" description: "\"How often we find ourselves turning our backs on our actual friends, that we might go and meet their ideal cousins.\" — Henry David Thoreau" image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/7bc/henry-david-thoreau-20_cousin_how-often-we-find-ourselves-turning-our_612437.jpg" --- # How often we find ourselves turning our backs on our… ![“How often we find ourselves turning our backs on our actual friends, that we might go and meet their ideal cousins.” quote by Henry David Thoreau](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/7bc/henry-david-thoreau-20_cousin_how-often-we-find-ourselves-turning-our_612437.jpg) [Download](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/7bc/henry-david-thoreau-20_cousin_how-often-we-find-ourselves-turning-our_612437.jpg) [Open image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/7bc/henry-david-thoreau-20_cousin_how-often-we-find-ourselves-turning-our_612437.jpg) > “How often we find ourselves turning our backs on our actual friends, that we might go and meet their ideal cousins.” [Henry David Thoreau](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/henry-david-thoreau/) ## About This Quote This interpretation was drafted with AI assistance. It is one reading of the quote, not the author's own explanation. We often abandon genuine friends for imagined, idealized relationships, seeking perfection over authenticity. **In simple terms:** Choosing imagined over real friends. Key Takeaway Value true friendships over fantasies. Themes friendship authenticity social pressure Mood reflective melancholic Type philosophical advice When to use this quote - college life - social media interactions - career networking - family gatherings Key Concepts idealization self-deception relationship dynamics Questions to Reflect On - Do you prioritize ideal images over real people? - How does fear of authenticity affect your relationships? A Different Perspective Idealized connections can overlook deeper, lasting bonds. ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ No ratings yet [Cousins](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/cousins/) [Friend](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/friend/) [Friendship](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/friendship/) [Real friends](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/real-friends/) ## Related quotes > [How often we find ourselves turning our backs on our actual friends, that we may go and meet their ideal cousins.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/how-often-we-find-ourselves-turning-our-backs-on-our-actual-friends-2/) [Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/) > [It is equally impossible to forget our Friends, and to make them answer to our ideal. When they say farewell, then indeed we beginto…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/henry-david-thoreau/it-is-equally-impossible-to-forget-our-friends-and-to-make-them/) [Henry David Thoreau](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/henry-david-thoreau/) > [Our actual Friends are but distant relations of those to whom we are pledged.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/henry-david-thoreau/our-actual-friends-are-but-distant-relations-of-those-to-whom-we-are/) [Henry David Thoreau](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/henry-david-thoreau/) > [For how many generations now had his people been turning their backs on things? How long had they sat in their living rooms and…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/clare-b-dunkle/for-how-many-generations-now-had-his-people-been-turning-their-backs/) [Clare B. Dunkle](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/clare-b-dunkle/) > [“I mean, it was hard on them. They were turning their backs on everything they’d ever known, because they’d decided there was something that…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/seanan-mcguire/i-mean-it-was-hard-on-them-they-were-turning-their-backs-on/) [Seanan McGuire](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/seanan-mcguire/) > [The girls at 'Loose Women' are my actual friends. 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A watery way an instant seen, The darkly closing clouds…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/when-true-friends-meet-in-adverse-hour-tis-like-a-sunbeam-through-a/) [Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/) > [Sleep is a prison for a boy who has friends to meet.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/michael-ondaatje/sleep-is-a-prison-for-a-boy-who-has-friends-to-meet/) [Michael Ondaatje](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/michael-ondaatje/) > [Strangers are friends whom we yet to meet and our foes are nobody but strangers.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/vikrant-parsai/strangers-are-friends-whom-we-yet-to-meet-and-our-foes-are-nobody-but/) [Vikrant Parsai](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/vikrant-parsai/) ## More by Henry David Thoreau > [If ever I did a man any goodof course it was something exceptional and insignificant compared with the good or evil which I am…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/henry-david-thoreau/if-ever-i-did-a-man-any-goodof-course-it-was-something-exceptional/) [Henry David Thoreau](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/henry-david-thoreau/) > [Our inventions are wont to be pretty toys, which distract our attention from serious things. They are but improved means to an unimproved end.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/henry-david-thoreau/our-inventions-are-wont-to-be-pretty-toys-which-distract-our/) [Henry David Thoreau](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/henry-david-thoreau/) > [“Men say they know many things; But lo! they have taken wings, — The arts and sciences, And a thousand appliances; The wind that…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/henry-david-thoreau/men-say-they-know-many-things-but-lo-they-have-taken-wings-the-arts/) [Henry David Thoreau](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/henry-david-thoreau/) > [I am not afraid of praise, for I have practiced it on myself.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/henry-david-thoreau/i-am-not-afraid-of-praise-for-i-have-practiced-it-on-myself/) [Henry David Thoreau](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/henry-david-thoreau/) > [“All voting is a sort of gaming, like checkers or back gammon, with a slight moral tinge to it, a playing with right and…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/henry-david-thoreau/all-voting-is-a-sort-of-gaming-like-checkers-or-back-gammon-with-a/) [Henry David Thoreau](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/henry-david-thoreau/) > [“This spending of the best part of one's life earning money in order to enjoy a questionable liberty during the least valuable part of…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/henry-david-thoreau/this-spending-of-the-best-part-of-one-s-life-earning-money-in-order/) [Henry David Thoreau](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/henry-david-thoreau/) > [As for doing good; that is one of the professions which is full. 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You may depend on it, that the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/henry-david-thoreau/in-proportion-as-our-inward-life-fails-we-go-more-constantly-and/) [Henry David Thoreau](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/henry-david-thoreau/) > [I had three chairs in my house; one for solitude, two for friendship, three for society.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/henry-david-thoreau/i-had-three-chairs-in-my-house-one-for-solitude-two-for-friendship/) [Henry David Thoreau](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/henry-david-thoreau/) > [The still youthful energies of the globe have only to be directed in their proper channel.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/henry-david-thoreau/the-still-youthful-energies-of-the-globe-have-only-to-be-directed-in/) [Henry David Thoreau](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/henry-david-thoreau/) > [Concord's little arch does not span all our fate, nor is what transpires under it law for the universe.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/henry-david-thoreau/concord-s-little-arch-does-not-span-all-our-fate-nor-is-what/) [Henry David Thoreau](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/henry-david-thoreau/) > [The lumberers rarely trouble themselves to put out their fires, such is the dampness of the primitive forest; and this is one cause, no…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/henry-david-thoreau/the-lumberers-rarely-trouble-themselves-to-put-out-their-fires-such/) [Henry David Thoreau](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/henry-david-thoreau/) > [“When he has obtained those things which are necessary to life, there is another alternative than to obtain the superfluities; and that is, to…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/henry-david-thoreau/when-he-has-obtained-those-things-which-are-necessary-to-life-there/) [Henry David Thoreau](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/henry-david-thoreau/) > [Wealth is measured by the level of experience in all aspects of life](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/henry-david-thoreau/wealth-is-measured-by-the-level-of-experience-in-all-aspects-of-life/) [Henry David Thoreau](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/henry-david-thoreau/) [Explore all 3,376 Henry David Thoreau quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/henry-david-thoreau/) ## More Cousin quotes > [“Cousins are like celebrities for little kids.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jim-gaffigan/cousins-are-like-celebrities-for-little-kids/) [Jim Gaffigan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jim-gaffigan/) > [I love a lot of things, a whole lot of things / Like / My cousin comes to visit and you know he's from…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/eloise-greenfield/i-love-a-lot-of-things-a-whole-lot-of-things-like-my-cousin-comes-to/) Eloise Greenfield > [Memoirs are going to be problematic sells for a while, though, because even if memoir means "based in memory," right now, in the collective…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/debra-monroe/memoirs-are-going-to-be-problematic-sells-for-a-while-though-because/) [Debra Monroe](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/debra-monroe/) > [Going where no man has gone before is more difficult than it sounds. 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Wilson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/n-d-wilson/) > [I ought to tell you I'm probably your cousin.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/henry-james/i-ought-to-tell-you-i-m-probably-your-cousin/) [Henry James](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/henry-james/) > [If astronomy teaches anything, it teaches that man is but a detail in the evolution of the universe, and the resemblant though diverse details…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/percival-lowell/if-astronomy-teaches-anything-it-teaches-that-man-is-but-a-detail-in/) [Percival Lowell](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/percival-lowell/) > [“The platonic love I feel for my cousin, made me write this diary ...” Leione”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/pet-torres/the-platonic-love-i-feel-for-my-cousin-made-me-write-this-diary-leione/) [Pet Torres](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/pet-torres/) > [As long as I sit at Henry Clay's desk, I will remember his lifelong desire to forge agreement, but I will also keep close…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/rand-paul/as-long-as-i-sit-at-henry-clay-s-desk-i-will-remember-his-lifelong/) [Rand Paul](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/rand-paul/) > [“I know you’re cousins but you’re like fourth cousins.  It’s not necessarily too icky.” ”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/r-e-butler/i-know-you-re-cousins-but-you-re-like-fourth-cousins-it-s-not/) [R.E. Butler](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/r-e-butler/) > [My dear young cousin, if there's one thing I've learned over the eons, it's that you can't give up on your family, no matter…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/rick-riordan/my-dear-young-cousin-if-there-s-one-thing-i-ve-learned-over-the-eons/) [Rick Riordan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/rick-riordan/) > [Everybody I've ever met was destroyed by a member of the opposite sex early on and that damage you took into every relationship after…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/christopher-titus/everybody-i-ve-ever-met-was-destroyed-by-a-member-of-the-opposite-sex/) [Christopher Titus](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/christopher-titus/) > [I was fifteen, or sixteen. I was in high school. I was spending a summer in California with my second cousins. And I wanted…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/steven-spielberg/i-was-fifteen-or-sixteen-i-was-in-high-school-i-was-spending-a-summer/) [Steven Spielberg](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/steven-spielberg/) > [“We agree that it is too late to think of visiting Cousin Ellen today – in fact if we do not hurry home we…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/d-e-stevenson/we-agree-that-it-is-too-late-to-think-of-visiting-cousin-ellen-today/) [D.E. Stevenson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/d-e-stevenson/) > [I feel like science and art are cousins.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kate-mckinnon/i-feel-like-science-and-art-are-cousins/) [Kate McKinnon](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kate-mckinnon/) > [Mother, sister, daughter, wife, cousins - they are a part of your everyday life. You interact with them, communicate, altercate and that they would…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/vikram-bhatt/mother-sister-daughter-wife-cousins-they-are-a-part-of-your-everyday/) [Vikram Bhatt](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/vikram-bhatt/) Browse all 805 Cousin quotes ```json { "@context": "https://schema.org", "@graph": [ { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "How often we find ourselves turning our backs on our actual friends, that we might go and meet their ideal cousins.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Henry David Thoreau" }, "isPartOf": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/henry-david-thoreau/how-often-we-find-ourselves-turning-our-backs-on-our-actual-friends/", "about": { "@type": "Thing", "name": "Cousin" }, "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/henry-david-thoreau/how-often-we-find-ourselves-turning-our-backs-on-our-actual-friends/#quotation", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/7bc/henry-david-thoreau-20_cousin_how-often-we-find-ourselves-turning-our_612437.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/7bc/henry-david-thoreau-20_cousin_how-often-we-find-ourselves-turning-our_612437.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/7bc/henry-david-thoreau-20_cousin_how-often-we-find-ourselves-turning-our_612437.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“How often we find ourselves turning our backs on our actual friends, that we might go and meet their ideal…” — Henry David Thoreau", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } }, { "@type": "BreadcrumbList", "itemListElement": [ { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 1, "name": "Home", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/" }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 2, "name": "Quotes", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/" }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 3, "name": "Henry David Thoreau", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/henry-david-thoreau/" }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 4, "name": "How often we find ourselves turning...", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/henry-david-thoreau/how-often-we-find-ourselves-turning-our-backs-on-our-actual-friends/" } ], "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/henry-david-thoreau/how-often-we-find-ourselves-turning-our-backs-on-our-actual-friends/#breadcrumb" }, { "@type": "WebSite", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website", "name": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/", "publisher": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } }, { "@type": "Organization", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization", "name": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/", "logo": { "@type": "ImageObject", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wp-content/themes/sq/assets/icons/icon-512.png", "width": 512, "height": 512 } } ] } ```