--- title: "Meaning & Key Takeaway of: Of one thing I am sure. Complaining is…" description: "\"Of one thing I am sure. Complaining is self-perpetuating and counterproductive. Whenever I express my complaints in the hope of evoking pity and receiv..." image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/8fa/henri-nouwen-600_complainers_of-one-thing-i-am-sure-complaining-is-se_2893344.jpg" --- # Of one thing I am sure. Complaining is self-perpetuating… ![“Of one thing I am sure. Complaining is self-perpetuating and counterproductive. Whenever I express my complaints in the hope of evoking pity and receiving the satisfaction I so much desire, the result is always the opposite of what I tried to get. A complainer is hard to live with, and very few…” quote by Henri Nouwen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/8fa/henri-nouwen-600_complainers_of-one-thing-i-am-sure-complaining-is-se_2893344.jpg) [Download](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/8fa/henri-nouwen-600_complainers_of-one-thing-i-am-sure-complaining-is-se_2893344.jpg) [Open image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/8fa/henri-nouwen-600_complainers_of-one-thing-i-am-sure-complaining-is-se_2893344.jpg) > “Of one thing I am sure. Complaining is self-perpetuating and counterproductive. Whenever I express my complaints in the hope of evoking pity and receiving the satisfaction I so much desire, the result is always the opposite of what I tried to get. A complainer is hard to live with, and very few people know how to respond to the complaints made by a self-rejecting person. The tragedy is that, often, the complaint, once expressed, leads to that which is most feared: further rejection.” [Henri Nouwen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/henri-nouwen/) ## About This Quote This interpretation was drafted with AI assistance. It is one reading of the quote, not the author's own explanation. Complaining fuels self‑rejection and invites further rejection; it’s counterproductive and hard for others to handle. **In simple terms:** Complaints create a cycle of rejection. Key Takeaway Stop complaining, seek constructive dialogue. Themes psychology communication self‑esteem Mood introspective empathetic Type advice philosophical When to use this quote - personal relationships - therapy groups - workplace Key Concepts rejection cycle emotional health Questions to Reflect On - Why do you seek pity through complaints? - How can you express needs without complaining? A Different Perspective Some may not recognize the underlying self‑rejection. ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ No ratings yet [Complaints](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/complaints/) [Desire](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/desire/) [Hope](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/hope/) [Opposites](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/opposites/) [People](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/people/) [Pity](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/pity/) [Rejection](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/rejection/) [Satisfaction](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/satisfaction/) [Self](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/self/) [Tragedy](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/tragedy/) ## Related quotes > [Discontent, blaming, complaining, self-pity cannot serve as a foundation for a good future, no matter how much effort you make.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/eckhart-tolle/discontent-blaming-complaining-self-pity-cannot-serve-as-a-foundation/) [Eckhart Tolle](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/eckhart-tolle/) > [“One cannot create a superior future self without rejecting and destroying their inferior past self. All acts of self-improvement are acts of self-destruction.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/scott-meyer/one-cannot-create-a-superior-future-self-without-rejecting-and/) [Scott Meyer](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/scott-meyer/) > [Try to avoid complaints. Self-pity even when legitimate never fails to undermine your strength.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mariane-pearl/try-to-avoid-complaints-self-pity-even-when-legitimate-never-fails-to/) [Mariane Pearl](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mariane-pearl/) > [But poverty, with most who whimper forth Their long complaints, is self-inflicted woe; The effect of laziness, or sottish write.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/william-cowper/but-poverty-with-most-who-whimper-forth-their-long-complaints-is-self/) [William Cowper](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/william-cowper/) > [Stress impacts the way we think, feel, and behave. It often leads to a negative, self-perpetuating cycle that is hard to escape.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/amy-morin/stress-impacts-the-way-we-think-feel-and-behave-it-often-leads-to-a/) [Amy Morin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/amy-morin/) > [But I realized something. About art. And psychiatry. They're both self-perpetuating systems. Like religion. All three of them promise you a sense of inner…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/samuel-r-delany/but-i-realized-something-about-art-and-psychiatry-they-re-both-self-2/) [Samuel R. Delany](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/samuel-r-delany/) > [Anything that's any good is self-perpetuating.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bill-mollison/anything-that-s-any-good-is-self-perpetuating/) [Bill Mollison](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bill-mollison/) > [We can so reconstruct society that it will be self-perpetuating instead of as now, self-exhaustive.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/charles-lindbergh/we-can-so-reconstruct-society-that-it-will-be-self-perpetuating/) [Charles Lindbergh](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/charles-lindbergh/) > [By its very nature, hard-line ideology is self-serving and self-perpetuating; its primary goal is to survive - and that precludes everything.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/queen-rania-of-jordan/by-its-very-nature-hard-line-ideology-is-self-serving-and-self/) [Queen Rania of Jordan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/queen-rania-of-jordan/) > [Lawlessness is a self-perpetuating, ever-expanding habit.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dorothy-thompson/lawlessness-is-a-self-perpetuating-ever-expanding-habit/) [Dorothy Thompson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dorothy-thompson/) > [Oppression has no logic--just a self-fulfilling prophecy, justified by a self-perpetuating system.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gloria-steinem/oppression-has-no-logic-just-a-self-fulfilling-prophecy-justified-by/) [Gloria Steinem](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/gloria-steinem/) > [I have come to think of violence as a self-perpetuating mania of the power of the aggressive over those less strong.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kathy-reichs/i-have-come-to-think-of-violence-as-a-self-perpetuating-mania-of-the/) [Kathy Reichs](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kathy-reichs/) > [Every action is self-perpetuating, every thought is self-perpetuating. Once you cooperate with it, you are giving energy to it. Sooner or later it will…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/rajneesh/every-action-is-self-perpetuating-every-thought-is-self-perpetuating/) [Rajneesh](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/rajneesh/) > [I am basically a complainer and all the grounds for complaint have been swept out from under me.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/joseph-epstein/i-am-basically-a-complainer-and-all-the-grounds-for-complaint-have/) [Joseph Epstein](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/joseph-epstein/) > [It is a general popular error to suppose the loudest complainers for the public to be the most anxious for its welfare.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/edmund-burke/it-is-a-general-popular-error-to-suppose-the-loudest-complainers-for/) [Edmund Burke](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/edmund-burke/) ## More by Henri Nouwen > [We are not the healers, we are not the reconcilers, we are not the givers of life. We are sinful, broken, vulnerable people who…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/henri-nouwen/we-are-not-the-healers-we-are-not-the-reconcilers-we-are-not-the/) [Henri Nouwen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/henri-nouwen/) > [The more we touch the intimate love of God which creates, sustains, and guides us, the more we recognize the multitude of fruits that…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/henri-nouwen/the-more-we-touch-the-intimate-love-of-god-which-creates-sustains-and/) [Henri Nouwen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/henri-nouwen/) > [Feelings of guilt dominate our work as peacemakers we cannot last long. But when we have opened each other's eyes to the great human…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/henri-nouwen/feelings-of-guilt-dominate-our-work-as-peacemakers-we-cannot-last/) [Henri Nouwen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/henri-nouwen/) > [...we all want to hear stories, from the moment we are born to the moment we die. Stories connect our little lives with the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/henri-nouwen/we-all-want-to-hear-stories-from-the-moment-we-are-born-to-the-moment/) [Henri Nouwen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/henri-nouwen/) > [I have found it very important...to let go of my wishes and start hoping.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/henri-nouwen/i-have-found-it-very-important-to-let-go-of-my-wishes-and-start-hoping/) [Henri Nouwen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/henri-nouwen/) > [Simply being with someone is difficult because it asks of us that we share in the other's vulnerability, enter with him or her into…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/henri-nouwen/simply-being-with-someone-is-difficult-because-it-asks-of-us-that-we/) [Henri Nouwen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/henri-nouwen/) > [Somewhere we know that without silence, words lose their meaning.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/henri-nouwen/somewhere-we-know-that-without-silence-words-lose-their-meaning/) [Henri Nouwen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/henri-nouwen/) > [Jesus says, "Keep your heart on the kingdom first. Keep your heart on God's love. Keep focused on the fact that you are God's…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/henri-nouwen/jesus-says-keep-your-heart-on-the-kingdom-first-keep-your-heart-on/) [Henri Nouwen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/henri-nouwen/) > [This sounds very simple and maybe even trite, but very few people know that they are loved without condition or limits.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/henri-nouwen/this-sounds-very-simple-and-maybe-even-trite-but-very-few-people-know/) [Henri Nouwen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/henri-nouwen/) > [“The more preoccupied we are with security the more visible the force of death becomes, whether in the form of a pistol beside our…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/henri-nouwen/the-more-preoccupied-we-are-with-security-the-more-visible-the-force/) [Henri Nouwen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/henri-nouwen/) > [If you feel a great loneliness and a deep longing for human contact, you have to be extremely discerning...and ask yourself whether this situation…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/henri-nouwen/if-you-feel-a-great-loneliness-and-a-deep-longing-for-human-contact/) [Henri Nouwen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/henri-nouwen/) > [I choose L'Arche; L'Arche chooses me. I would be dead if I weren't here. I need people to love me and care for me.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/henri-nouwen/i-choose-l-arche-l-arche-chooses-me-i-would-be-dead-if-i-weren-t-here/) [Henri Nouwen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/henri-nouwen/) > [The truth, even though I cannot feel it right now, is that I am the chosen child of God, precious in God's eyes, called…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/henri-nouwen/the-truth-even-though-i-cannot-feel-it-right-now-is-that-i-am-the/) [Henri Nouwen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/henri-nouwen/) > [In a world so torn apart by rivalry, anger, and hatred, we have the privileged vocation to be living signs of a love that…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/henri-nouwen/in-a-world-so-torn-apart-by-rivalry-anger-and-hatred-we-have-the/) [Henri Nouwen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/henri-nouwen/) > [Where true inner freedom is, there is God. And where God is, there we want to be.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/henri-nouwen/where-true-inner-freedom-is-there-is-god-and-where-god-is-there-we/) [Henri Nouwen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/henri-nouwen/) [Explore all 452 Henri Nouwen quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/henri-nouwen/) ## More Complainers quotes > [It is a general popular error to suppose the loudest complainers for the public to be the most anxious for its welfare.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/edmund-burke/it-is-a-general-popular-error-to-suppose-the-loudest-complainers-for/) [Edmund Burke](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/edmund-burke/) > [I am basically a complainer and all the grounds for complaint have been swept out from under me.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/joseph-epstein/i-am-basically-a-complainer-and-all-the-grounds-for-complaint-have/) [Joseph Epstein](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/joseph-epstein/) > [It's hard to put into words. Gorillas are not complainers. We're dreamers, poets, philosophers, nap takers.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/katherine-applegate/it-s-hard-to-put-into-words-gorillas-are-not-complainers-we-re/) [Katherine Applegate](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/katherine-applegate/) > [“Excuses and complaints are signs of a dreamless life”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bangambiki-habyarimana/excuses-and-complaints-are-signs-of-a-dreamless-life/) [Bangambiki Habyarimana](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bangambiki-habyarimana/) > [Complainers detest each other.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mason-cooley/complainers-detest-each-other/) [Mason Cooley](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mason-cooley/) > [“We are soon approaching a refined holiday, "Merry Mas," where Christ will be taken out of its context.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anthony-liccione/we-are-soon-approaching-a-refined-holiday-merry-mas-where-christ-will/) [Anthony Liccione](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anthony-liccione/) > [Gymnasts, lazy people, complainers and successful people have all practiced to be what they are good at. So if you keep practicing being lazy,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/tsem-tulku/gymnasts-lazy-people-complainers-and-successful-people-have-all/) [Tsem Tulku](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/tsem-tulku/) > [If you are a complainer you might have already spent your HELP quota.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/zig-ziglar/if-you-are-a-complainer-you-might-have-already-spent-your-help-quota/) [Zig Ziglar](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/zig-ziglar/) > [“Why is it people will complain, when they have an open door, where they can walk out to and gaze the stars; rather than…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anthony-liccione/why-is-it-people-will-complain-when-they-have-an-open-door-where-they/) [Anthony Liccione](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anthony-liccione/) > [All complaining comes from pride.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/joyce-meyer/all-complaining-comes-from-pride/) [Joyce Meyer](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/joyce-meyer/) > [Don't be a complainer; make things better, let it go, or take action to make it better.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/tina-roth-eisenberg/don-t-be-a-complainer-make-things-better-let-it-go-or-take-action-to/) Tina Roth-Eisenberg > [When a person finds themselves predisposed to complaining about how little they are regarded by others, let them reflect how little they have contributed…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lyndon-b-johnson/when-a-person-finds-themselves-predisposed-to-complaining-about-how/) [Lyndon B. Johnson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lyndon-b-johnson/) > [A complaining tongue reveals an ungrateful heart.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/william-arthur-ward/a-complaining-tongue-reveals-an-ungrateful-heart/) [William Arthur Ward](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/william-arthur-ward/) > [“People are complaining of having rags and not riches, but I find it a blessing just to have rags, to wipe away the dirt…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anthony-liccione/people-are-complaining-of-having-rags-and-not-riches-but-i-find-it-a/) [Anthony Liccione](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anthony-liccione/) > [The more we complain, the more unhappy we get](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dennis-prager/the-more-we-complain-the-more-unhappy-we-get/) [Dennis Prager](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dennis-prager/) Browse all 45 Complainers quotes ```json { "@context": "https://schema.org", "@graph": [ { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "Of one thing I am sure. 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