--- title: "Meaning & Key Takeaway of: We have to learn to be kind to ourselves…" description: "\"We have to learn to be kind to ourselves. In the long run avoiding unpleasantness is a very unkind thing to do to yourself.\" — Henepola Gunaratana" image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/018/henepola-gunaratana-10550_avoiding_we-have-to-learn-to-be-kind-to-ourselves_1860635.png" --- # We have to learn to be kind to ourselves. In the long run… ![“We have to learn to be kind to ourselves. In the long run avoiding unpleasantness is a very unkind thing to do to yourself.” quote by Henepola Gunaratana](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/018/henepola-gunaratana-10550_avoiding_we-have-to-learn-to-be-kind-to-ourselves_1860635.png) [Download](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/018/henepola-gunaratana-10550_avoiding_we-have-to-learn-to-be-kind-to-ourselves_1860635.png) [Open image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/018/henepola-gunaratana-10550_avoiding_we-have-to-learn-to-be-kind-to-ourselves_1860635.png) > “We have to learn to be kind to ourselves. In the long run avoiding unpleasantness is a very unkind thing to do to yourself.” [Henepola Gunaratana](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/henepola-gunaratana/) ## About This Quote This interpretation was drafted with AI assistance. It is one reading of the quote, not the author's own explanation. Being kind to ourselves avoids self‑inflicted suffering. **In simple terms:** Self‑kindness prevents unnecessary pain. Key Takeaway Practice self‑compassion and avoid harsh self‑criticism. Themes self‑compassion mental health well‑being Mood gentle encouraging Type inspirational practical When to use this quote - therapy - self‑care routines - stress reduction techniques Key Concepts psychology mindfulness self‑care Questions to Reflect On - How can we balance self‑kindness with growth? - What habits nurture self‑compassion? A Different Perspective Self‑kindness may be mistaken for complacency. ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ No ratings yet [Avoiding](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/avoiding/) [Avoiding Unpleasantness](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/avoiding-unpleasantness-2501787/) [Be kind](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/be-kind/) [Education](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/education/) [Kind](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/kind/) [Long](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/long/) [Long run](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/long-run/) [Long runs](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/long-runs/) [Running](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/running/) [Things to do](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/things-to-do/) [Unkind](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/unkind/) [Unkind Thing](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/unkind-thing-2501789/) [Unpleasantness](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/unpleasantness-1399674/) [Unpleasantness Unkind](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/unpleasantness-unkind-2501788/) ## Related quotes > [It feels like an unkind thing to do, to attack religious people. It just feels rude.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/simon-amstell/it-feels-like-an-unkind-thing-to-do-to-attack-religious-people-it/) [Simon Amstell](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/simon-amstell/) > [“Marriage: a deeply peculiar and ultimately unkind thing to inflict on anyone one claims to care for.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alain-de-botton/marriage-a-deeply-peculiar-and-ultimately-unkind-thing-to-inflict-on/) [Alain de Botton](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alain-de-botton/) > [Your children vividly remember every unkind thing you ever did to them, plus a few you really didn't.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mignon-mclaughlin/your-children-vividly-remember-every-unkind-thing-you-ever-did-to/) [Mignon McLaughlin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mignon-mclaughlin/) > [Kindness. The most unkind thing of all.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/edna-o-brien/kindness-the-most-unkind-thing-of-all/) [Edna O'Brien](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/edna-o-brien/) > [Comedically, unpleasantness is great fun.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/teller/comedically-unpleasantness-is-great-fun/) [Teller](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/teller/) > [Maturity is the capacity to face unpleasantness and frustration, discomfort and defeat, without complaint or collapse.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nikhil-saluja/maturity-is-the-capacity-to-face-unpleasantness-and-frustration/) [Nikhil Saluja](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nikhil-saluja/) > [Habit does much to reconcile us to unpleasantness.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/margaret-deland/habit-does-much-to-reconcile-us-to-unpleasantness/) [Margaret Deland](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/margaret-deland/) > [To postpone unpleasantness is human; to forget it is divine.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mason-cooley/to-postpone-unpleasantness-is-human-to-forget-it-is-divine/) [Mason Cooley](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mason-cooley/) > [Trade-offs have been with us ever since the late unpleasantness in the Garden of Eden.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/thomas-sowell/trade-offs-have-been-with-us-ever-since-the-late-unpleasantness-in/) [Thomas Sowell](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/thomas-sowell/) > [The place we want to explore unpleasantness in the real world is in art.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/teller/the-place-we-want-to-explore-unpleasantness-in-the-real-world-is-in/) [Teller](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/teller/) > [“There was so much unpleasantness in the workaday world. The last thing you ever wanted to do at night was go home and do…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/joshua-ferris/there-was-so-much-unpleasantness-in-the-workaday-world-the-last-thing/) [Joshua Ferris](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/joshua-ferris/) > [The expectation of an unpleasantness is more terrible than the thing itself.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/marie-bashkirtseff/the-expectation-of-an-unpleasantness-is-more-terrible-than-the-thing/) [Marie Bashkirtseff](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/marie-bashkirtseff/) > [“Rex has never been unkind to me intentionally. It's just that he isn't a real person at all; he's just a few faculties of…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/evelyn-waugh/rex-has-never-been-unkind-to-me-intentionally-it-s-just-that-he-isn-t/) [Evelyn Waugh](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/evelyn-waugh/) > [“I make people uncomfortable. The kind ones get angry because their kindness doesn't work. The unkind ones get angry because they think I'm attacking…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-marsden/i-make-people-uncomfortable-the-kind-ones-get-angry-because-their/) [John Marsden](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-marsden/) > [“Nothing human disgusts me unless its unkind”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/tennessee-williams/nothing-human-disgusts-me-unless-its-unkind/) [Tennessee Williams](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/tennessee-williams/) ## More by Henepola Gunaratana > [You can only have bliss if you don't chase it.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/henepola-gunaratana/you-can-only-have-bliss-if-you-don-t-chase-it/) [Henepola Gunaratana](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/henepola-gunaratana/) > [“we try mentally to grab onto it or push it away. That sets the worry response in motion.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/henepola-gunaratana/we-try-mentally-to-grab-onto-it-or-push-it-away-that-sets-the-worry/) [Henepola Gunaratana](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/henepola-gunaratana/) > [You can learn not to want what you want, to recognize desires but not be controlled by them.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/henepola-gunaratana/you-can-learn-not-to-want-what-you-want-to-recognize-desires-but-not/) [Henepola Gunaratana](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/henepola-gunaratana/) > [The Buddha's message was simple but profound. Neither a life of self-indulgence nor one of self-mortification can bring happiness. Only a middle path, avoiding…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/henepola-gunaratana/the-buddha-s-message-was-simple-but-profound-neither-a-life-of-self/) [Henepola Gunaratana](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/henepola-gunaratana/) > [Mindfulness helps us freeze the frame so that we can become aware of our sensations and experiences as they are, without the distorting coloration…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/henepola-gunaratana/mindfulness-helps-us-freeze-the-frame-so-that-we-can-become-aware-of/) [Henepola Gunaratana](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/henepola-gunaratana/) > [But look within and watch the stuff coming up-restlessness, anxiety, impatience, pain-just watch it come up and don't get involved. Much to your surprise,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/henepola-gunaratana/but-look-within-and-watch-the-stuff-coming-up-restlessness-anxiety/) [Henepola Gunaratana](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/henepola-gunaratana/) > [“You can learn to perceive your life as an ever-flowing movement. You can learn to see the continuous flow of all conditioned”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/henepola-gunaratana/you-can-learn-to-perceive-your-life-as-an-ever-flowing-movement-you/) [Henepola Gunaratana](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/henepola-gunaratana/) > [No problem. You are not crazier than you were yesterday. It has always been this way, and you just never noticed.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/henepola-gunaratana/no-problem-you-are-not-crazier-than-you-were-yesterday-it-has-always/) [Henepola Gunaratana](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/henepola-gunaratana/) > [“We spend all of our energies trying to make ourselves feel better, trying to bury our fears, endlessly seeking security.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/henepola-gunaratana/we-spend-all-of-our-energies-trying-to-make-ourselves-feel-better/) [Henepola Gunaratana](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/henepola-gunaratana/) > [Peace is not a thought, not a concept; it is a nonverbal experience.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/henepola-gunaratana/peace-is-not-a-thought-not-a-concept-it-is-a-nonverbal-experience/) [Henepola Gunaratana](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/henepola-gunaratana/) > [You can't ever get everything you want. It is impossible. Luckily, there is another option: You can learn to control your mind, to step…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/henepola-gunaratana/you-can-t-ever-get-everything-you-want-it-is-impossible-luckily-there/) [Henepola Gunaratana](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/henepola-gunaratana/) > [Whatever attitudes we habitually use toward ourselves, we will use on others, and whatever attitudes we habitually use toward others, we will use on…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/henepola-gunaratana/whatever-attitudes-we-habitually-use-toward-ourselves-we-will-use-on/) [Henepola Gunaratana](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/henepola-gunaratana/) > [When you have learned compassion for yourself, compassion for others is automatic.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/henepola-gunaratana/when-you-have-learned-compassion-for-yourself-compassion-for-others/) [Henepola Gunaratana](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/henepola-gunaratana/) > [“There is no clinging to the pleasant, no fleeing from the unpleasant. Mindfulness treats all experiences equally, all thoughts equally, all feelings equally. Nothing…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/henepola-gunaratana/there-is-no-clinging-to-the-pleasant-no-fleeing-from-the-unpleasant/) [Henepola Gunaratana](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/henepola-gunaratana/) > [“Place no head above your own.” By this he meant, don’t just accept somebody else’s word. See for yourself. We want you to apply…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/henepola-gunaratana/place-no-head-above-your-own-by-this-he-meant-don-t-just-accept/) [Henepola Gunaratana](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/henepola-gunaratana/) [Explore all 65 Henepola Gunaratana quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/henepola-gunaratana/) ## More Avoiding quotes > [Because after you've crossed some lines, you just keep crossing them. And there's no escaping from constant escape. Distracting ourselves. Avoiding confrontation. Getting past…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/chuck-palahniuk/because-after-you-ve-crossed-some-lines-you-just-keep-crossing-them/) [Chuck Palahniuk](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/chuck-palahniuk/) > [“Exactly. So, what can't you take? Decide which of the two options is harder, and do the other. That way, no matter how hard…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/josephine-angelini/exactly-so-what-can-t-you-take-decide-which-of-the-two-options-is/) [Josephine Angelini](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/josephine-angelini/) > [I've always been a very restless person. I work hard, spend too much time looking after my son, I dance like a mad thing,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/paulo-coelho/i-ve-always-been-a-very-restless-person-i-work-hard-spend-too-much/) [Paulo Coelho](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/paulo-coelho/) > [“What I'm trying to say is that I spent the last four months learning to be alone, avoiding the world, hating pretty much anyone…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/andrea-cremer/what-i-m-trying-to-say-is-that-i-spent-the-last-four-months-learning/) [Andrea Cremer](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/andrea-cremer/) > [ I can hardly believe what these 12 caricatures \[about Prophet Muhammad\] have caused in the world. We Danes feel like we have been placed… ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anders-fogh-rasmussen/i-can-hardly-believe-what-these-12-caricatures-about-prophet-muhammad/) [Anders Fogh Rasmussen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anders-fogh-rasmussen/) > [I know a bit about taxation and the remarkable effort that goes in to avoiding it.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/robert-rinder/i-know-a-bit-about-taxation-and-the-remarkable-effort-that-goes-in-to/) [Robert Rinder](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/robert-rinder/) > [When you are in hard labor, remember that the length of labor is usually proportional to the number of people around. Avoid the presence…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/michel-odent/when-you-are-in-hard-labor-remember-that-the-length-of-labor-is/) [Michel Odent](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/michel-odent/) > [I don't believe in happy endings. Children have got to face death sooner or later. Granny and Grandpa die, dogs die, cats die, gerbils…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/raymond-briggs/i-don-t-believe-in-happy-endings-children-have-got-to-face-death/) [Raymond Briggs](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/raymond-briggs/) > [Resisting and avoiding pain sucks energy-and time. The more you let yourself feel those minute-and-a-half hells, the quicker you'll start feeling those minute-and-a-half happinesses.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/leigh-newman/resisting-and-avoiding-pain-sucks-energy-and-time-the-more-you-let/) [Leigh Newman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/leigh-newman/) > [Reading is sometimes an ingenious device for avoiding thought.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/arthur-helps/reading-is-sometimes-an-ingenious-device-for-avoiding-thought/) [Arthur Helps](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/arthur-helps/) > [A day can really slip by when you're deliberately avoiding what you're supposed to do.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bill-watterson/a-day-can-really-slip-by-when-you-re-deliberately-avoiding-what-you/) [Bill Watterson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bill-watterson/) > [When someone starts Ignoring you, just back off without staying there with them Just to know the reason for avoiding..](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/vishak/when-someone-starts-ignoring-you-just-back-off-without-staying-there/) [Vishak](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/vishak/) > [You know what takes effort? Being kind, being patient, being respectful, telling someone how you feel politely instead of just avoiding them for six…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jake-tapper/you-know-what-takes-effort-being-kind-being-patient-being-respectful/) [Jake Tapper](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jake-tapper/) > [It's all about being flexible, and avoiding choices whenever possible. Choices suck, they are inherently limiting.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/craig-armstrong/it-s-all-about-being-flexible-and-avoiding-choices-whenever-possible/) [Craig Armstrong](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/craig-armstrong/) > [In my personal life I'm very conservative. I've been married to the same person for nearly 50 years, I'm scrupulous about paying bills, avoiding…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/christopher-walken/in-my-personal-life-i-m-very-conservative-i-ve-been-married-to-the/) [Christopher Walken](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/christopher-walken/) [Browse all 713 Avoiding quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/avoiding/) ```json { "@context": "https://schema.org", "@graph": [ { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "We have to learn to be kind to ourselves. In the long run avoiding unpleasantness is a very unkind thing to do to yourself.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Henepola Gunaratana" }, "isPartOf": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/henepola-gunaratana/we-have-to-learn-to-be-kind-to-ourselves-in-the-long-run-avoiding/", "about": { "@type": "Thing", "name": "Avoiding" }, "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/henepola-gunaratana/we-have-to-learn-to-be-kind-to-ourselves-in-the-long-run-avoiding/#quotation", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/018/henepola-gunaratana-10550_avoiding_we-have-to-learn-to-be-kind-to-ourselves_1860635.png", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/018/henepola-gunaratana-10550_avoiding_we-have-to-learn-to-be-kind-to-ourselves_1860635.png", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/018/henepola-gunaratana-10550_avoiding_we-have-to-learn-to-be-kind-to-ourselves_1860635.png", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“We have to learn to be kind to ourselves. In the long run avoiding unpleasantness is a very unkind thing to…” — Henepola Gunaratana", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } }, { "@type": "BreadcrumbList", "itemListElement": [ { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 1, "name": "Home", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/" }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 2, "name": "Quotes", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/" }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 3, "name": "Henepola Gunaratana", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/henepola-gunaratana/" }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 4, "name": "We have to learn to be...", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/henepola-gunaratana/we-have-to-learn-to-be-kind-to-ourselves-in-the-long-run-avoiding/" } ], "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/henepola-gunaratana/we-have-to-learn-to-be-kind-to-ourselves-in-the-long-run-avoiding/#breadcrumb" }, { "@type": "WebSite", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website", "name": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/", "publisher": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } }, { "@type": "Organization", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization", "name": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/", "logo": { "@type": "ImageObject", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wp-content/themes/sq/assets/icons/icon-512.png", "width": 512, "height": 512 } } ] } ```