--- title: "Meaning & Key Takeaway of: Courtship, properly understood, is the…" description: "\"Courtship, properly understood, is the process whereby both the male and the female are brought into that state of sexual tumescence which is a more or..." image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/aa6/havelock-ellis-3921_ceremony_courtship-properly-understood-is-the-pro_3025992.png" --- # Courtship, properly understood, is the process whereby… ![“Courtship, properly understood, is the process whereby both the male and the female are brought into that state of sexual tumescence which is a more or less necessary condition for sexual intercourse. The play of courtship cannot, therefore, be considered to be definitely brought to an end by the…” quote by Havelock Ellis](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/aa6/havelock-ellis-3921_ceremony_courtship-properly-understood-is-the-pro_3025992.png) [Download](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/aa6/havelock-ellis-3921_ceremony_courtship-properly-understood-is-the-pro_3025992.png) [Open image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/aa6/havelock-ellis-3921_ceremony_courtship-properly-understood-is-the-pro_3025992.png) > “Courtship, properly understood, is the process whereby both the male and the female are brought into that state of sexual tumescence which is a more or less necessary condition for sexual intercourse. The play of courtship cannot, therefore, be considered to be definitely brought to an end by the ceremony of marriage; it may more properly be regarded as the natural preliminary to every act of coitus.” [Havelock Ellis](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/havelock-ellis/) ## About This Quote This interpretation was drafted with AI assistance. It is one reading of the quote, not the author's own explanation. Courtship is a mutual sexual arousal process that precedes intercourse and is not ended by marriage. **In simple terms:** Courtship prepares for sex and continues beyond marriage. Key Takeaway Recognize courtship as ongoing relational development. Themes relationships sexuality marriage biology Mood thoughtful informative Type sociological educational When to use this quote - dating - marital counseling - sex education - relationship building Key Concepts human sexuality social rituals Questions to Reflect On - How does marriage change the nature of courtship? - Can courtship exist without sexual intent? A Different Perspective Marriage does not automatically conclude the courtship dynamic. ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ No ratings yet [Ceremony](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/ceremony/) [Courtship](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/courtship/) [Female](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/female/) [Intercourse](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/intercourse/) [Males](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/males/) [Marriage](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/marriage/) [Play](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/play/) [Process](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/process/) [Romance](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/romance/) [Sex](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/sex/) [Sexual intercourse](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/sexual-intercourse/) ## Related quotes > [“In many a case, the phrase ‘I’d like to get to know you better’ is a euphemism for ‘I want us to fuck.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mokokoma-mokhonoana/in-many-a-case-the-phrase-i-d-like-to-get-to-know-you-better-is-a/) [Mokokoma Mokhonoana](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mokokoma-mokhonoana/) > [The modesty of women, which, in its most primitive form among animals, is based on sexual periodicity, is, with that periodicity, an essential condition…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/havelock-ellis/the-modesty-of-women-which-in-its-most-primitive-form-among-animals/) [Havelock Ellis](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/havelock-ellis/) > [The aesthetic pleasure of dance is a secondary reflection of the primary, vital joy of courtship.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/havelock-ellis/the-aesthetic-pleasure-of-dance-is-a-secondary-reflection-of-the/) [Havelock Ellis](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/havelock-ellis/) > [“So he worked. He lost weight; he walked light on the earth. Lack of physical labor, lack of variety of occupation, lack of social…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ursula-k-le-guin/so-he-worked-he-lost-weight-he-walked-light-on-the-earth-lack-of/) [Ursula K. Le Guin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ursula-k-le-guin/) > [What is the purpose and meaning and nature of sexual intercourse? It seems to me to be quite clear. It's for two things. It's…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/janet-e-smith/what-is-the-purpose-and-meaning-and-nature-of-sexual-intercourse-it/) [Janet E. Smith](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/janet-e-smith/) > [“Young girls frequently report that their early sexual experiences were coerced. In a study in South Africa, 30 percent of girls report that their…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/njovana-watts/young-girls-frequently-report-that-their-early-sexual-experiences/) Njovana Watts > [Smoking marijuana before engaging in sexual intercourse enhances the experience by over 70%.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/smoking-marijuana-before-engaging-in-sexual-intercourse-enhances-the/) [Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/) > [ “\[Man\] has imagined a heaven, and has left entirely out of it the supremest of all his delights, the one ecstasy that stands first… ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/christopher-ryan/man-has-imagined-a-heaven-and-has-left-entirely-out-of-it-the/) [Christopher Ryan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/christopher-ryan/) > [The pleasant life is not produced by continual drinking and dancing, nor sexual intercourse, nor rare dishes of sea food and other delicacies of…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/epicurus/the-pleasant-life-is-not-produced-by-continual-drinking-and-dancing/) [Epicurus](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/epicurus/) > [“They say rape is the practice of sexual intercourse without consent but in my case, I did consent. I knew it wasn’t him. I…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lunga-no-lia-izata/they-say-rape-is-the-practice-of-sexual-intercourse-without-consent/) [Lunga Noélia Izata](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lunga-no-lia-izata/) > [“And I am overwhelmed now by the awfulness of over-simplification. For now I realize that not only have I been guilty of it through…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alistair-macleod/and-i-am-overwhelmed-now-by-the-awfulness-of-over-simplification-for/) [Alistair MacLeod](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alistair-macleod/) > [Allow me, in conclusion, to congratulate you warmly upon your sexual intercourse, as well as your singing.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/muriel-spark/allow-me-in-conclusion-to-congratulate-you-warmly-upon-your-sexual/) [Muriel Spark](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/muriel-spark/) > [“There are many ways of attaining godhood, say teachers of religion. Acharya Rajneesh disagrees and says there is only one way, and sexual intercourse…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/khushwant-singh/there-are-many-ways-of-attaining-godhood-say-teachers-of-religion/) [Khushwant Singh](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/khushwant-singh/) > [“For their never-ending endeavours to obtain or retain wealth, countries desperately need companies, because they—unlike most human beings—have the means of production, and human…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mokokoma-mokhonoana/for-their-never-ending-endeavours-to-obtain-or-retain-wealth/) [Mokokoma Mokhonoana](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mokokoma-mokhonoana/) > [“Purity culture often functions by shaming us for seeking knowledge about our own bodies. Studying even the scientific elements of sexual intercourse can feel…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dianna-anderson/purity-culture-often-functions-by-shaming-us-for-seeking-knowledge/) [Dianna Anderson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dianna-anderson/) ## More by Havelock Ellis > [The mother is the child's supreme parent.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/havelock-ellis/the-mother-is-the-child-s-supreme-parent/) [Havelock Ellis](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/havelock-ellis/) > [All progress in literary style lies in the heroic resolve to cast aside accretions and exuberances, all the conventions of a past age that…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/havelock-ellis/all-progress-in-literary-style-lies-in-the-heroic-resolve-to-cast/) [Havelock Ellis](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/havelock-ellis/) > [Dreams are real as long as they last. Can we say more of life?](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/havelock-ellis/dreams-are-real-as-long-as-they-last-can-we-say-more-of-life/) [Havelock Ellis](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/havelock-ellis/) > [The immense value of becoming acquainted with a foreign language is that we are thereby led into a new world of tradition and thought…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/havelock-ellis/the-immense-value-of-becoming-acquainted-with-a-foreign-language-is/) [Havelock Ellis](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/havelock-ellis/) > [Greek is the embodiment of the fluent speech that runs or soars, the speech of a people which could not help giving winged feet…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/havelock-ellis/greek-is-the-embodiment-of-the-fluent-speech-that-runs-or-soars-the/) [Havelock Ellis](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/havelock-ellis/) > [Those persons who are burning to display heroism may rest assured that the course of social evolution will offer them every opportunity.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/havelock-ellis/those-persons-who-are-burning-to-display-heroism-may-rest-assured/) [Havelock Ellis](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/havelock-ellis/) > [All arguments are meaningless until we gain personal experience. One must win one's own place in the spiritual world painfully and alone. There is…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/havelock-ellis/all-arguments-are-meaningless-until-we-gain-personal-experience-one/) [Havelock Ellis](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/havelock-ellis/) > [However well organised the foundations of life may be, life must always be full of risks.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/havelock-ellis/however-well-organised-the-foundations-of-life-may-be-life-must/) [Havelock Ellis](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/havelock-ellis/) > [Dancing and building are the two primary and essential arts. The art of dancing stands at the source of all the arts that expressthemselves…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/havelock-ellis/dancing-and-building-are-the-two-primary-and-essential-arts-the-art/) [Havelock Ellis](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/havelock-ellis/) > [Failing to find in women exactly the same kind of sexual emotions, as they find in themselves, men have concluded that there are none…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/havelock-ellis/failing-to-find-in-women-exactly-the-same-kind-of-sexual-emotions-as/) [Havelock Ellis](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/havelock-ellis/) > [The husband - by primitive instinct partly, certainly by ancient tradition - regards himself as the active partner in matters of love and his…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/havelock-ellis/the-husband-by-primitive-instinct-partly-certainly-by-ancient/) [Havelock Ellis](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/havelock-ellis/) > [“All civilisation has from time to time become a thin crust over a volcano of revolution.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/havelock-ellis/all-civilisation-has-from-time-to-time-become-a-thin-crust-over-a/) [Havelock Ellis](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/havelock-ellis/) > [For every fresh stage in our lives we need a fresh education, and there is no stage for which so little educational preparation is…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/havelock-ellis/for-every-fresh-stage-in-our-lives-we-need-a-fresh-education-and/) [Havelock Ellis](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/havelock-ellis/) > [The sexual regions constitute a particularly vulnerable spot, and remain so even in man, and the need for their protection which thus exists conflicts…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/havelock-ellis/the-sexual-regions-constitute-a-particularly-vulnerable-spot-and/) [Havelock Ellis](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/havelock-ellis/) > [Sexual pleasure, wisely used and not abused, may prove the stimulus and liberator of our finest and most exalted activities.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/havelock-ellis/sexual-pleasure-wisely-used-and-not-abused-may-prove-the-stimulus-and/) [Havelock Ellis](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/havelock-ellis/) [Explore all 119 Havelock Ellis quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/havelock-ellis/) ## More Ceremony quotes > [We do not want nowadays temples of worship and outward rites and ceremonies. What we really want is an Asram. We want a place…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/rabindranath-tagore/we-do-not-want-nowadays-temples-of-worship-and-outward-rites-and/) [Rabindranath Tagore](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/rabindranath-tagore/) > [Jesus never said a word about homosexuality. In all of his teachings about multiple things - he never said that gay people should be…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jimmy-carter/jesus-never-said-a-word-about-homosexuality-in-all-of-his-teachings/) [Jimmy Carter](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jimmy-carter/) > [It is merely the egoism of the man, who wants to bury a woman like a treasure. All attempts at using vows, contracts, and…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/leopold-von-sacher-masoch/it-is-merely-the-egoism-of-the-man-who-wants-to-bury-a-woman-like-a/) [Leopold von Sacher-Masoch](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/leopold-von-sacher-masoch/) > [Layla brought her arms around herself, no doubt because she was remembering the feel of another, stronger set. "I have wanted to, but he…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/j-r-ward/layla-brought-her-arms-around-herself-no-doubt-because-she-was/) [J.R. Ward](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/j-r-ward/) > [There are ceremonious bows that repel one like a cudgel.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/christian-nestell-bovee/there-are-ceremonious-bows-that-repel-one-like-a-cudgel/) [Christian Nestell Bovee](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/christian-nestell-bovee/) > [The cocktail party - as the name itself indicates - was originally invented by dogs. They are simply bottom-sniffings raised to the rank of…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lawrence-durrell/the-cocktail-party-as-the-name-itself-indicates-was-originally/) [Lawrence Durrell](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lawrence-durrell/) > [I am unable to distinguish clearly between your religious ceremonies and apparently identical behavior at the sporting and cultural functions you have transmitted to…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/arthur-c-clarke/i-am-unable-to-distinguish-clearly-between-your-religious-ceremonies/) [Arthur C. Clarke](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/arthur-c-clarke/) > [Politics resemble religion; attempting to divest either of ceremony is the most certain mode of bringing either into contempt.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/oliver-goldsmith/politics-resemble-religion-attempting-to-divest-either-of-ceremony-is/) [Oliver Goldsmith](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/oliver-goldsmith/) > [Singing at the Opening Ceremonies of the Sydney Olympics in 2000 was amazing and, probably the highlight of this decade is the opening of…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/olivia-newton-john/singing-at-the-opening-ceremonies-of-the-sydney-olympics-in-2000-was/) [Olivia Newton-John](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/olivia-newton-john/) > [Nostalgia is also a trait of the organizations that I call lodges - everything from corporate cultures to religious sects. Their bonding power often…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jennifer-james/nostalgia-is-also-a-trait-of-the-organizations-that-i-call-lodges/) [Jennifer James](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jennifer-james/) > [Over the weekend, former Enron executives Jeffrey Skilling and Rebecca Carter married each other during a huge ceremony in Houston. The happy couple is…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/conan-o-brien/over-the-weekend-former-enron-executives-jeffrey-skilling-and-rebecca/) [Conan O'Brien](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/conan-o-brien/) > [“Japanese tea ceremony,”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sheryl-berk/japanese-tea-ceremony/) Sheryl Berk > [Truth and ceremony are two things.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/marcus-aurelius/truth-and-ceremony-are-two-things/) [Marcus Aurelius](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/marcus-aurelius/) > [The trappings of a religious cult tend to fall into candlelit ceremonies and robes and group chanting and singing and prayer.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sean-durkin/the-trappings-of-a-religious-cult-tend-to-fall-into-candlelit/) [Sean Durkin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sean-durkin/) > [No known human group... simply throw out its dead without any ritual or ceremony. In stark contrast, no animal practices burial of dead individuals…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/theodosius-dobzhansky/no-known-human-group-simply-throw-out-its-dead-without-any-ritual-or/) [Theodosius Dobzhansky](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/theodosius-dobzhansky/) [Browse all 534 Ceremony quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/ceremony/) ```json { "@context": "https://schema.org", "@graph": [ { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "Courtship, properly understood, is the process whereby both the male and the female are brought into that state of sexual tumescence which is a more or less necessary condition for sexual intercourse. The play of courtship cannot, therefore, be considered to be definitely brought to an end by the ceremony of marriage; it may more properly be regarded as the natural preliminary to every act of coitus.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Havelock Ellis" }, "isPartOf": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/havelock-ellis/courtship-properly-understood-is-the-process-whereby-both-the-male/", "about": { "@type": "Thing", "name": "Ceremony" }, "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/havelock-ellis/courtship-properly-understood-is-the-process-whereby-both-the-male/#quotation", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/aa6/havelock-ellis-3921_ceremony_courtship-properly-understood-is-the-pro_3025992.png", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/aa6/havelock-ellis-3921_ceremony_courtship-properly-understood-is-the-pro_3025992.png", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/aa6/havelock-ellis-3921_ceremony_courtship-properly-understood-is-the-pro_3025992.png", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“Courtship, properly understood, is the process whereby both the male and the female are brought into that…” — Havelock Ellis", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } }, { "@type": "BreadcrumbList", "itemListElement": [ { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 1, "name": "Home", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/" }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 2, "name": "Quotes", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/" }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 3, "name": "Havelock Ellis", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/havelock-ellis/" }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 4, "name": "Courtship, properly understood, is the process...", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/havelock-ellis/courtship-properly-understood-is-the-process-whereby-both-the-male/" } ], "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/havelock-ellis/courtship-properly-understood-is-the-process-whereby-both-the-male/#breadcrumb" }, { "@type": "WebSite", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website", "name": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/", "publisher": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } }, { "@type": "Organization", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization", "name": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/", "logo": { "@type": "ImageObject", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wp-content/themes/sq/assets/icons/icon-512.png", "width": 512, "height": 512 } } ] } ```