--- title: "Meaning & Key Takeaway of: What was I hoping to gain from this? he…" description: "\"“What was I hoping to gain from this? he asked himself as he strode ahead. Was I trying to confirm the ties that make it possible for me to exist here ..." image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/7ab/haruki-murakami-21_all-god-s-children-c_what-was-i-hoping-to-gain-from-this-he-a_2211744.jpg" --- # What was I hoping to gain from this? he asked himself as… ![“What was I hoping to gain from this? he asked himself as he strode ahead. Was I trying to confirm the ties that make it possible for me to exist here and now? Was I hoping to be woven into some new plot, to be given some new and better-defined role to play? No, he thought, that's not it. What I…” quote by Haruki Murakami](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/7ab/haruki-murakami-21_all-god-s-children-c_what-was-i-hoping-to-gain-from-this-he-a_2211744.jpg) [Download](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/7ab/haruki-murakami-21_all-god-s-children-c_what-was-i-hoping-to-gain-from-this-he-a_2211744.jpg) [Open image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/7ab/haruki-murakami-21_all-god-s-children-c_what-was-i-hoping-to-gain-from-this-he-a_2211744.jpg) > ““What was I hoping to gain from this? he asked himself as he strode ahead. Was I trying to confirm the ties that make it possible for me to exist here and now? Was I hoping to be woven into some new plot, to be given some new and better-defined role to play? No, he thought, that's not it. What I was chasing in circles must have been the tail of the darkness inside me. I just happened to catch sight of it, and followed it, and clung to it, and in the end let it fly into still deeper darkness. I'm sure I'll never see it again.”” [Haruki Murakami](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/haruki-murakami/) ## About This Quote This interpretation was drafted with AI assistance. It is one reading of the quote, not the author's own explanation. A character confronts an inner darkness he chases, realizing it is not a purpose but a self‑destructive impulse that deepens his void. **In simple terms:** He pursues a shadow inside himself, which only makes things worse. Key Takeaway Recognize and release self‑sabotaging pursuits. Themes identity inner darkness self‑sabotage existential search Mood melancholic reflective Type literary philosophical When to use this quote - personal crisis - creative block - nighttime introspection Key Concepts psychology existentialism shadow work Questions to Reflect On - What inner shadows are you pursuing? - How can you break the cycle of self‑destruction? 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