--- title: "Meaning & Key Takeaway of: The process of putting Haarlem behind him…" description: "\"“The process of putting Haarlem behind him resembled the changes a man goes through when he divorces. He takes a girl friend to forget his wife, but ju..." image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/4e5/harry-mulisch-12441_change_the-process-of-putting-haarlem-behind-hi_3020144.jpg" --- # The process of putting Haarlem behind him resembled the… ![“The process of putting Haarlem behind him resembled the changes a man goes through when he divorces. He takes a girl friend to forget his wife, but just doing that prolongs the connection with the wife. Possibly things will work out only with the next girl friend - although the third one has the…” quote by Harry Mulisch](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/4e5/harry-mulisch-12441_change_the-process-of-putting-haarlem-behind-hi_3020144.jpg) [Download](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/4e5/harry-mulisch-12441_change_the-process-of-putting-haarlem-behind-hi_3020144.jpg) [Open image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/4e5/harry-mulisch-12441_change_the-process-of-putting-haarlem-behind-hi_3020144.jpg) > ““The process of putting Haarlem behind him resembled the changes a man goes through when he divorces. He takes a girl friend to forget his wife, but just doing that prolongs the connection with the wife. Possibly things will work out only with the next girl friend - although the third one has the best chance. Boundaries have to be continuously sealed off, but it's a hopeless job, fore everything touches everything else in this world. A beginning never disappears, not even with the ending.”” [Harry Mulisch](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/harry-mulisch/) ## About This Quote This interpretation was drafted with AI assistance. It is one reading of the quote, not the author's own explanation. Divorce parallels a continual process of setting boundaries, yet connections persist because everything is interlinked. **In simple terms:** Boundaries are fragile; connections linger. Key Takeaway Accept the difficulty of fully severing ties. Themes relationships boundaries interconnectedness Mood melancholic thoughtful Type literary philosophical When to use this quote - breakups - family dynamics - personal healing - social networks Key Concepts psychology attachment human behavior Questions to Reflect On - Can you find healthy ways to maintain boundaries? - What does “a beginning never disappears” mean to you? A Different Perspective Complete separation may be impossible; emotional entanglements remain. ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ No ratings yet [Change](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/change/) [Divorces Takes](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/divorces-takes-4885388/) [Forget Wife](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/forget-wife-4885386/) [Friendship](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/friendship/) [Girl friend](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/girl-friend/) [Goes Divorces](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/goes-divorces-3126849/) [Haarlem Resembled](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/haarlem-resembled-4885387/) [Marriage](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/marriage/) [Putting Haarlem](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/putting-haarlem-4885385/) ## Related quotes > [“First, I'm not getting married, so you can forget the wife. 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They understand each other in a way not even girl friends can approach. Secrets, heartbreaks,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/juli-caldwell/sisters-share-a-bond-that-no-one-can-explain-they-understand-each/) [Juli Caldwell](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/juli-caldwell/) > [“...and often Lisa thought bitterly of the ideas she had held on "college life" before coming to Denton, ideas and images culled from a…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/grace-metalious/and-often-lisa-thought-bitterly-of-the-ideas-she-had-held-on-college/) [Grace Metalious](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/grace-metalious/) > [I'm the kinda girl who is 'one of the guys' the one who is always there for everyone else when they need it. the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ritu-ghatourey/i-m-the-kinda-girl-who-is-one-of-the-guys-the-one-who-is-always-there/) [Ritu Ghatourey](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ritu-ghatourey/) > [A picture I drew of my girl friend from our first date.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/matthew-campbell/a-picture-i-drew-of-my-girl-friend-from-our-first-date/) [Matthew CAmpbell](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/matthew-campbell/) ## More by Harry Mulisch > [“Un comienzo no desaparece nunca, ni siquiera con un final.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/harry-mulisch/un-comienzo-no-desaparece-nunca-ni-siquiera-con-un-final/) [Harry Mulisch](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/harry-mulisch/) > [“Still, national politics meant little to him: about as much as paper airplanes would mean to the survivor of a plane crash.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/harry-mulisch/still-national-politics-meant-little-to-him-about-as-much-as-paper/) [Harry Mulisch](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/harry-mulisch/) > [“People returning from a journey carry the distances they have traveled with them like outspread wings - until they put the key in their…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/harry-mulisch/people-returning-from-a-journey-carry-the-distances-they-have/) [Harry Mulisch](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/harry-mulisch/) > [“He understood very well that it was just because of this intimacy that their marriage had not survived.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/harry-mulisch/he-understood-very-well-that-it-was-just-because-of-this-intimacy/) [Harry Mulisch](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/harry-mulisch/) > [“Iemand die van iemand anders houdt, zegt altijd dat dat komt doordat die ander zo mooi is, op een of andere manier, van buiten…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/harry-mulisch/iemand-die-van-iemand-anders-houdt-zegt-altijd-dat-dat-komt-doordat/) [Harry Mulisch](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/harry-mulisch/) > [“You could chat with anyone; being silent together without it becoming embarrassing was a lot rarer.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/harry-mulisch/you-could-chat-with-anyone-being-silent-together-without-it-becoming/) [Harry Mulisch](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/harry-mulisch/) > [“The oldest thing of all is the present, because there's never been anything else but present. No one has ever lived in the past,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/harry-mulisch/the-oldest-thing-of-all-is-the-present-because-there-s-never-been/) [Harry Mulisch](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/harry-mulisch/) > [“Hate is the darkness, that's no good. And yet we've got to hate Fascists, and that's considered perfectly all right. How is that possible?…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/harry-mulisch/hate-is-the-darkness-that-s-no-good-and-yet-we-ve-got-to-hate/) [Harry Mulisch](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/harry-mulisch/) > [That question is too good to spoil with an answer.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/harry-mulisch/that-question-is-too-good-to-spoil-with-an-answer/) [Harry Mulisch](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/harry-mulisch/) > [“When we heard those shots and he saw Ploeg lying in front of the house, what he said was, 'My God, the lizards!'" With…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/harry-mulisch/when-we-heard-those-shots-and-he-saw-ploeg-lying-in-front-of-the/) [Harry Mulisch](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/harry-mulisch/) > [Perhaps, he thought, true pure love, like all flowers, flourished best with its roots in muck and mud. Perhaps that was a law of…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/harry-mulisch/perhaps-he-thought-true-pure-love-like-all-flowers-flourished-best/) [Harry Mulisch](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/harry-mulisch/) > [“His father in law, who was as old as the century, had just retired and was living in a country house in Gelderland. He…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/harry-mulisch/his-father-in-law-who-was-as-old-as-the-century-had-just-retired-and/) [Harry Mulisch](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/harry-mulisch/) > [All cows were like other cows, all tigers like all other tigers - What on earth happened to human beings?](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/harry-mulisch/all-cows-were-like-other-cows-all-tigers-like-all-other-tigers-what/) [Harry Mulisch](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/harry-mulisch/) > [“We underestimated human potential, both the strength of man's intellect and the weakness of his flesh, and therefore his receptivity to satanic inspiration --…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/harry-mulisch/we-underestimated-human-potential-both-the-strength-of-man-s/) [Harry Mulisch](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/harry-mulisch/) > [“If you believe we shouldn't have done it, then you also believe that, in the light of history, the human race shouldn't have existed.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/harry-mulisch/if-you-believe-we-shouldn-t-have-done-it-then-you-also-believe-that/) [Harry Mulisch](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/harry-mulisch/) [Explore all 38 Harry Mulisch quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/harry-mulisch/) ## More Change quotes > [Only within yourself exists the other reality for which you long. I can give you nothing that has not already its being within yourself.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/hermann-hesse/only-within-yourself-exists-the-other-reality-for-which-you-long-i/) [Hermann Hesse](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/hermann-hesse/) > [Life is full of change. That's how we learn and grow.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/life-is-full-of-change-that-s-how-we-learn-and-grow/) [Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/) > [I can't believe that I'm sitting in meetings with Steven Spielberg, Tom Hanks, and Annette Bening. I want to take on that responsibility to…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/roger-ross-williams/i-can-t-believe-that-i-m-sitting-in-meetings-with-steven-spielberg/) [Roger Ross Williams](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/roger-ross-williams/) > [“…progress isn't necessarily about change but about things turning out as we want them to”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/phil-hogan/progress-isn-t-necessarily-about-change-but-about-things-turning-out/) [Phil Hogan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/phil-hogan/) > [Nobody can tell me that no changes are necessary in Washington.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/william-weld/nobody-can-tell-me-that-no-changes-are-necessary-in-washington/) [William Weld](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/william-weld/) > [If my campaign is not in the debate, we will not be talking about how we really fix this problem of endless and expanding…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jill-stein/if-my-campaign-is-not-in-the-debate-we-will-not-be-talking-about-how/) [Jill Stein](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jill-stein/) > [When you walk down the street of Kabul your values for life changes, they do change.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/marco-pierre-white/when-you-walk-down-the-street-of-kabul-your-values-for-life-changes/) [Marco Pierre White](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/marco-pierre-white/) > [Your world will change whether or not you choose to change, but you have the power to choose it's direction.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/napoleon-hill/your-world-will-change-whether-or-not-you-choose-to-change-but-you/) [Napoleon Hill](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/napoleon-hill/) > [I hope I continue to evolve.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/charlotte-flair/i-hope-i-continue-to-evolve/) [Charlotte Flair](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/charlotte-flair/) > [“Stay focused on bringing people together and more on positive messaging so that you can be the change you wish to see in the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/germany-kent/stay-focused-on-bringing-people-together-and-more-on-positive/) [Germany Kent](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/germany-kent/) > [The biggest change for me as a mom was realizing I needed to put someone else before me. 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