--- title: "Meaning & Key Takeaway of: He understood very well that it was just…" description: "\"“He understood very well that it was just because of this intimacy that their marriage had not survived.”\" — Harry Mulisch" image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/e6a/harry-mulisch-12441_intimacy_he-understood-very-well-that-it-was-just_176905.jpg" --- # He understood very well that it was just because of this… ![“He understood very well that it was just because of this intimacy that their marriage had not survived.” quote by Harry Mulisch](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/e6a/harry-mulisch-12441_intimacy_he-understood-very-well-that-it-was-just_176905.jpg) [Download](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/e6a/harry-mulisch-12441_intimacy_he-understood-very-well-that-it-was-just_176905.jpg) [Open image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/e6a/harry-mulisch-12441_intimacy_he-understood-very-well-that-it-was-just_176905.jpg) > ““He understood very well that it was just because of this intimacy that their marriage had not survived.”” [Harry Mulisch](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/harry-mulisch/) ## About This Quote This interpretation was drafted with AI assistance. It is one reading of the quote, not the author's own explanation. The quote reflects that deep familiarity can erode a relationship, leading to its breakdown. **In simple terms:** Intimacy can cause marriage to fail. Key Takeaway Beware of over-familiarity in relationships. Themes relationships intimacy marriage communication psychology Mood reflective melancholic Type observational literary When to use this quote - marriage counseling - family dynamics - personal relationships Key Concepts emotional distance overexposure boundary erosion Questions to Reflect On - How does familiarity affect partnership health? - What boundaries preserve intimacy without suffocating? A Different Perspective Too much closeness may breed resentment and loss of individuality. ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ No ratings yet [Intimacy](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/intimacy/) [Intimacy Marriage](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/intimacy-marriage-1901661/) [Just Intimacy](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/just-intimacy-1901660/) [Marriage](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/marriage/) [Marriage Survived](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/marriage-survived-782589/) [Romance](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/romance/) [Understood Just](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/understood-just-1901662/) ## Related quotes > [Just to see two men or two women dancing together, it's not necessarily about sexuality, it's just about intimacy and respect.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-whaite/just-to-see-two-men-or-two-women-dancing-together-it-s-not/) [John Whaite](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-whaite/) > [If we understood something just one way, we would not understand it at all.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/marvin-minsky/if-we-understood-something-just-one-way-we-would-not-understand-it-at/) [Marvin Minsky](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/marvin-minsky/) > [I'm certain that most couples expect to find intimacy in marriage, but it somehow eludes them.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/james-dobson/i-m-certain-that-most-couples-expect-to-find-intimacy-in-marriage-but/) [James Dobson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/james-dobson/) > [“We tell ourselves that intimacy (and marriage) takes two people who are willing to work at it-but, unfortunately, we rarely have the slightest inkling…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/david-schnarch/we-tell-ourselves-that-intimacy-and-marriage-takes-two-people-who-are/) [David Schnarch](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/david-schnarch/) > [Our marriage has survived because we do things we love.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/valerie-faris/our-marriage-has-survived-because-we-do-things-we-love/) [Valerie Faris](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/valerie-faris/) > [Marriage is survived just on the basis of ordinary etiquette, day in and day out. Also cooking together helps a lot.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jim-harrison/marriage-is-survived-just-on-the-basis-of-ordinary-etiquette-day-in/) [Jim Harrison](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jim-harrison/) > [The message I understood was this: Just don't get caught!](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/patrik-sinkewitz/the-message-i-understood-was-this-just-don-t-get-caught/) [Patrik Sinkewitz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/patrik-sinkewitz/) > [I want to engage people in an honest, enlightened, and provocative conversation about the nature of erotic desire and the intricacies of intimacy and…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/esther-perel/i-want-to-engage-people-in-an-honest-enlightened-and-provocative/) [Esther Perel](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/esther-perel/) > [Awe combined with intimacy is the essence of Christian worship.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/awe-combined-with-intimacy-is-the-essence-of-christian-worship/) [Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/) > [“You thought I was answering "As you wish" but that's only because you were hearing wrong. "I love you" was what it was, but…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/william-goldman/you-thought-i-was-answering-as-you-wish-but-that-s-only-because-you/) [William Goldman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/william-goldman/) > [Is it any wonder that for millions of men the only intimacy is physical, silent, and predictable?](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/phil-donahue/is-it-any-wonder-that-for-millions-of-men-the-only-intimacy-is/) [Phil Donahue](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/phil-donahue/) > [“Intercourse is one thing, Intimacy is everything. Be encouraged”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kerry-e-wagner/intercourse-is-one-thing-intimacy-is-everything-be-encouraged/) [Kerry E. Wagner](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kerry-e-wagner/) > [Intimacy requires an ability to both merge and be separate, to come together and be apart, like oscillating on a giant swing from oneness…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/charlotte-sophia-kasl/intimacy-requires-an-ability-to-both-merge-and-be-separate-to-come/) [Charlotte Sophia Kasl](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/charlotte-sophia-kasl/) > [“One single syllable of intimacy and the world is put to rights.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-boyne/one-single-syllable-of-intimacy-and-the-world-is-put-to-rights/) [John Boyne](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-boyne/) > [“It's morning now, and I miss the soft rasp of her voice already. Ugh. I'm in trouble, aren't I?”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/pat-shand/it-s-morning-now-and-i-miss-the-soft-rasp-of-her-voice-already-ugh-i/) [Pat Shand](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/pat-shand/) ## More by Harry Mulisch > [“Un comienzo no desaparece nunca, ni siquiera con un final.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/harry-mulisch/un-comienzo-no-desaparece-nunca-ni-siquiera-con-un-final/) [Harry Mulisch](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/harry-mulisch/) > [“Still, national politics meant little to him: about as much as paper airplanes would mean to the survivor of a plane crash.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/harry-mulisch/still-national-politics-meant-little-to-him-about-as-much-as-paper/) [Harry Mulisch](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/harry-mulisch/) > [“People returning from a journey carry the distances they have traveled with them like outspread wings - until they put the key in their…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/harry-mulisch/people-returning-from-a-journey-carry-the-distances-they-have/) [Harry Mulisch](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/harry-mulisch/) > [“Iemand die van iemand anders houdt, zegt altijd dat dat komt doordat die ander zo mooi is, op een of andere manier, van buiten…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/harry-mulisch/iemand-die-van-iemand-anders-houdt-zegt-altijd-dat-dat-komt-doordat/) [Harry Mulisch](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/harry-mulisch/) > [“You could chat with anyone; being silent together without it becoming embarrassing was a lot rarer.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/harry-mulisch/you-could-chat-with-anyone-being-silent-together-without-it-becoming/) [Harry Mulisch](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/harry-mulisch/) > [“The oldest thing of all is the present, because there's never been anything else but present. No one has ever lived in the past,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/harry-mulisch/the-oldest-thing-of-all-is-the-present-because-there-s-never-been/) [Harry Mulisch](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/harry-mulisch/) > [“Hate is the darkness, that's no good. And yet we've got to hate Fascists, and that's considered perfectly all right. How is that possible?…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/harry-mulisch/hate-is-the-darkness-that-s-no-good-and-yet-we-ve-got-to-hate/) [Harry Mulisch](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/harry-mulisch/) > [That question is too good to spoil with an answer.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/harry-mulisch/that-question-is-too-good-to-spoil-with-an-answer/) [Harry Mulisch](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/harry-mulisch/) > [“When we heard those shots and he saw Ploeg lying in front of the house, what he said was, 'My God, the lizards!'" With…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/harry-mulisch/when-we-heard-those-shots-and-he-saw-ploeg-lying-in-front-of-the/) [Harry Mulisch](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/harry-mulisch/) > [Perhaps, he thought, true pure love, like all flowers, flourished best with its roots in muck and mud. Perhaps that was a law of…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/harry-mulisch/perhaps-he-thought-true-pure-love-like-all-flowers-flourished-best/) [Harry Mulisch](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/harry-mulisch/) > [“His father in law, who was as old as the century, had just retired and was living in a country house in Gelderland. He…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/harry-mulisch/his-father-in-law-who-was-as-old-as-the-century-had-just-retired-and/) [Harry Mulisch](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/harry-mulisch/) > [All cows were like other cows, all tigers like all other tigers - What on earth happened to human beings?](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/harry-mulisch/all-cows-were-like-other-cows-all-tigers-like-all-other-tigers-what/) [Harry Mulisch](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/harry-mulisch/) > [“We underestimated human potential, both the strength of man's intellect and the weakness of his flesh, and therefore his receptivity to satanic inspiration --…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/harry-mulisch/we-underestimated-human-potential-both-the-strength-of-man-s/) [Harry Mulisch](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/harry-mulisch/) > [“If you believe we shouldn't have done it, then you also believe that, in the light of history, the human race shouldn't have existed.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/harry-mulisch/if-you-believe-we-shouldn-t-have-done-it-then-you-also-believe-that/) [Harry Mulisch](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/harry-mulisch/) > [“That's politics, power: it's all verbal, a continuous blizzard of words. But it's not just speaking, it's making statements. It's action; it's doing something…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/harry-mulisch/that-s-politics-power-it-s-all-verbal-a-continuous-blizzard-of-words/) [Harry Mulisch](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/harry-mulisch/) [Explore all 38 Harry Mulisch quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/harry-mulisch/) ## More Intimacy quotes > [“It's morning now, and I miss the soft rasp of her voice already. Ugh. I'm in trouble, aren't I?”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/pat-shand/it-s-morning-now-and-i-miss-the-soft-rasp-of-her-voice-already-ugh-i/) [Pat Shand](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/pat-shand/) > [“One single syllable of intimacy and the world is put to rights.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-boyne/one-single-syllable-of-intimacy-and-the-world-is-put-to-rights/) [John Boyne](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-boyne/) > [Intimacy requires an ability to both merge and be separate, to come together and be apart, like oscillating on a giant swing from oneness…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/charlotte-sophia-kasl/intimacy-requires-an-ability-to-both-merge-and-be-separate-to-come/) [Charlotte Sophia Kasl](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/charlotte-sophia-kasl/) > [When you write something by hand, there's a sort of intimacy that is just intrinsic to that act. You don't get to delete something…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jenny-han/when-you-write-something-by-hand-there-s-a-sort-of-intimacy-that-is/) [Jenny Han](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jenny-han/) > [“Intercourse is one thing, Intimacy is everything. Be encouraged”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kerry-e-wagner/intercourse-is-one-thing-intimacy-is-everything-be-encouraged/) [Kerry E. Wagner](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kerry-e-wagner/) > [Is it any wonder that for millions of men the only intimacy is physical, silent, and predictable?](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/phil-donahue/is-it-any-wonder-that-for-millions-of-men-the-only-intimacy-is/) [Phil Donahue](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/phil-donahue/) > [The lasting value of our public service for God is measured by the depth of the intimacy of our private times of fellowship and…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/oswald-chambers/the-lasting-value-of-our-public-service-for-god-is-measured-by-the/) [Oswald Chambers](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/oswald-chambers/) > [“You thought I was answering "As you wish" but that's only because you were hearing wrong. "I love you" was what it was, but…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/william-goldman/you-thought-i-was-answering-as-you-wish-but-that-s-only-because-you/) [William Goldman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/william-goldman/) > [Awe combined with intimacy is the essence of Christian worship.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/awe-combined-with-intimacy-is-the-essence-of-christian-worship/) [Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/) > [I want to engage people in an honest, enlightened, and provocative conversation about the nature of erotic desire and the intricacies of intimacy and…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/esther-perel/i-want-to-engage-people-in-an-honest-enlightened-and-provocative/) [Esther Perel](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/esther-perel/) > [Communication is a continual balancing act, juggling the conflicting needs for intimacy and independence](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/deborah-tannen/communication-is-a-continual-balancing-act-juggling-the-conflicting/) [Deborah Tannen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/deborah-tannen/) > [Physical love is total intimacy. It is the sign that the lovers have nothing to refuse each other, that they belong wholly to each…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jacques-leclercq/physical-love-is-total-intimacy-it-is-the-sign-that-the-lovers-have/) [Jacques Leclercq](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jacques-leclercq/) > [True intimacy is the experience of real acceptance and authentic vulnerability without feeling the need to apologize or fear rejection. The freedom to just…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jordan-blake-michiels/true-intimacy-is-the-experience-of-real-acceptance-and-authentic/) [Jordan Blake Michiels](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jordan-blake-michiels/) > [“Eschew evil and it's machinations.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jaachynma-n-e-agu/eschew-evil-and-it-s-machinations/) [Jaachynma N.E. Agu](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jaachynma-n-e-agu/) > [“Lack of intimacy among friends is a mistake that cannot be censured without becoming irreparable.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nietzsche-friedrich-wilhelm/lack-of-intimacy-among-friends-is-a-mistake-that-cannot-be-censured/) [NIETZSCHE FRIEDRICH WILHELM](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nietzsche-friedrich-wilhelm/) [Browse all 1,461 Intimacy quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/intimacy/) ```json { "@context": "https://schema.org", "@graph": [ { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "“He understood very well that it was just because of this intimacy that their marriage had not survived.”", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Harry Mulisch" }, "isPartOf": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/harry-mulisch/he-understood-very-well-that-it-was-just-because-of-this-intimacy/", "about": { "@type": "Thing", "name": "Intimacy" }, "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/harry-mulisch/he-understood-very-well-that-it-was-just-because-of-this-intimacy/#quotation", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/e6a/harry-mulisch-12441_intimacy_he-understood-very-well-that-it-was-just_176905.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/e6a/harry-mulisch-12441_intimacy_he-understood-very-well-that-it-was-just_176905.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/e6a/harry-mulisch-12441_intimacy_he-understood-very-well-that-it-was-just_176905.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“He understood very well that it was just because of this intimacy that their marriage had not survived.” — Harry Mulisch", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } }, { "@type": "BreadcrumbList", "itemListElement": [ { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 1, "name": "Home", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/" }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 2, "name": "Quotes", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/" }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 3, "name": "Harry Mulisch", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/harry-mulisch/" }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 4, "name": "“He understood very well that it...", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/harry-mulisch/he-understood-very-well-that-it-was-just-because-of-this-intimacy/" } ], "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/harry-mulisch/he-understood-very-well-that-it-was-just-because-of-this-intimacy/#breadcrumb" }, { "@type": "WebSite", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website", "name": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/", "publisher": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } }, { "@type": "Organization", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization", "name": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/", "logo": { "@type": "ImageObject", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wp-content/themes/sq/assets/icons/icon-512.png", "width": 512, "height": 512 } } ] } ```