--- title: "Meaning & Key Takeaway of: While women once acquired relationship…" description: "\"While women once acquired relationship skills to \"hook,\" \"snare,\" or \"catch\" a husband who would provide access to economic security and social status,..." image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/a76/harriet-lerner-4248_ability_while-women-once-acquired-relationship-s_2492460.jpg" --- # While women once acquired relationship skills to "hook,"… ![“While women once acquired relationship skills to "hook," "snare," or "catch" a husband who would provide access to economic security and social status, the position of contemporary women has not changed that radically. Much of our success still depends on our attunement to "male culture," our…” quote by Harriet Lerner](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/a76/harriet-lerner-4248_ability_while-women-once-acquired-relationship-s_2492460.jpg) [Download](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/a76/harriet-lerner-4248_ability_while-women-once-acquired-relationship-s_2492460.jpg) [Open image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/a76/harriet-lerner-4248_ability_while-women-once-acquired-relationship-s_2492460.jpg) > “While women once acquired relationship skills to "hook," "snare," or "catch" a husband who would provide access to economic security and social status, the position of contemporary women has not changed that radically. Much of our success still depends on our attunement to "male culture," our ability to please men, and our readiness to conform to the masculine values of our institutions.” [Harriet Lerner](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/harriet-lerner/) ## About This Quote This interpretation was drafted with AI assistance. It is one reading of the quote, not the author's own explanation. Women still often adapt to masculine cultural expectations, shaping their success by aligning with male‑centric values despite social progress. **In simple terms:** Women adjust to male norms for success. Key Takeaway Recognize and challenge gendered expectations. Themes gender roles social expectations power dynamics Mood critical empowering Type feminist social When to use this quote - career advancement - relationship negotiation - leadership Key Concepts feminist theory cultural critique Questions to Reflect On - How can women assert authenticity? - What changes can institutions make? A Different Perspective Can reinforce gender stereotypes and limit authentic expression. ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ No ratings yet [Ability](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/ability/) [Access](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/access/) [Changed](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/changed/) [Conform](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/conform/) [Contemporary](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/contemporary/) [Contemporary Women](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/contemporary-women-978289/) [Culture](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/culture/) [Cybersecurity](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/cybersecurity/) [Depends](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/depends/) [Economic](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/economic/) [Economic security](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/economic-security/) [Feminism](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/feminism/) [Hook](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/hook/) [Husband](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/husband/) [Institutions](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/institutions/) [Male Culture](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/male-culture-978292/) [Males](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/males/) [Masculine](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/masculine/) [Masculine Values](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/masculine-values-528613/) [Men](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/men/) [Please](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/please/) [Position](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/position/) [Readiness](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/readiness/) [Relationship Skills](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/relationship-skills-978291/) [Security](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/security/) [Skills](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/skills/) [Snares](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/snares/) [Social](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/social/) [Social status](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/social-status/) [Stills](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/stills/) [Values](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/values/) [Women](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/women/) [Women Changed](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/women-changed-978290/) ## Related quotes > [Perhaps there is no greater issue facing contemporary women than the choices they must make about balancing home and work.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/camille-paglia/perhaps-there-is-no-greater-issue-facing-contemporary-women-than-the/) [Camille Paglia](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/camille-paglia/) > [When I spoke at the 2012 Contemporary Women Writers' Conference in Taipei, I thought it offered an appropriate moment and site to announce my…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/shirley-geok-lin-lim/when-i-spoke-at-the-2012-contemporary-women-writers-conference-in/) [Shirley Geok-lin Lim](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/shirley-geok-lin-lim/) > [“Identify the people in your industries who always seem to be out in front, and use all the relationship skills you've acquired to connect…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/keith-ferrazzi/identify-the-people-in-your-industries-who-always-seem-to-be-out-in/) [Keith Ferrazzi](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/keith-ferrazzi/) > [“One study showed that an individual in an open relationship tends to be "individualistic, an academic achiever, creative, nonconforming, stimulated by complexity and chaos,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/tristan-taormino/one-study-showed-that-an-individual-in-an-open-relationship-tends-to/) [Tristan Taormino](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/tristan-taormino/) > [“Yet it is the masculine values that prevail. Speaking crudely, football and sport are ‘important’; the worship of fashion, the buying of clothes ‘trivial’.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/virginia-woolf/yet-it-is-the-masculine-values-that-prevail-speaking-crudely-football/) [Virginia Woolf](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/virginia-woolf/) > [“And since a novel has this correspondence to real life, its values are to some extent those of real life. But it is obvious…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/virginia-woolf/and-since-a-novel-has-this-correspondence-to-real-life-its-values-are/) [Virginia Woolf](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/virginia-woolf/) > [Institutions of higher education in the United Statesare products of Western society in which masculine values like an orientation toward achievement and objectivity are…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/yolanda-moses/institutions-of-higher-education-in-the-united-statesare-products-of/) [Yolanda Moses](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/yolanda-moses/) > [To be feminist doesn't mean simply to do nothing, to reduce yourself to total impotence under the pretext of refusing masculine values. There is…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/simone-de-beauvoir/to-be-feminist-doesn-t-mean-simply-to-do-nothing-to-reduce-yourself/) [Simone de Beauvoir](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/simone-de-beauvoir/) > [In the beginning, I thought that women needed protection, on a style level, to have the right impact to let them realize their desire…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/giorgio-armani/in-the-beginning-i-thought-that-women-needed-protection-on-a-style/) [Giorgio Armani](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/giorgio-armani/) > [Tina Fey is part of a generation of women who have changed the face of comedy at 'Second City,' 'SNL,' in sitcoms and in…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/janeane-garofalo/tina-fey-is-part-of-a-generation-of-women-who-have-changed-the-face/) [Janeane Garofalo](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/janeane-garofalo/) > [Righteous women have changed the course of history and will continue to do so, and their influence will spread and grow exponentially throughout the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/julie-b-beck/righteous-women-have-changed-the-course-of-history-and-will-continue/) [Julie B. Beck](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/julie-b-beck/) > [“I thought, men who changed their names were likely to be con-men, criminals, undercover agents or magicians, whereas women who changed their names were…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/margaret-atwood/i-thought-men-who-changed-their-names-were-likely-to-be-con-men/) [Margaret Atwood](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/margaret-atwood/) > [There used to be a category called women's fiction - meaning not too rude, not too much sex, a bit domestic and internal. Women…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/janet-fitch/there-used-to-be-a-category-called-women-s-fiction-meaning-not-too/) [Janet Fitch](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/janet-fitch/) > [I care very much about women and their progress. I didn't go march in the streets, but when I was in the Arizona Legislature,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sandra-day-o-connor/i-care-very-much-about-women-and-their-progress-i-didn-t-go-march-in/) [Sandra Day O'Connor](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sandra-day-o-connor/) > [Men are rewarded for learning the practice of violence in virtually any sphere of activity by money, admiration, recognition, respect, and the genuflection of…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/andrea-dworkin/men-are-rewarded-for-learning-the-practice-of-violence-in-virtually/) [Andrea Dworkin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/andrea-dworkin/) ## More by Harriet Lerner > [“Letting go of anger and hate requires us to give up the hope for a different past, along with the hope of a fantasized…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/harriet-lerner/letting-go-of-anger-and-hate-requires-us-to-give-up-the-hope-for-a/) [Harriet Lerner](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/harriet-lerner/) > [“There’s a widespread belief that if you have solid self-esteem you don’t need outside affirmation and praise. This is patently untrue, by the way.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/harriet-lerner/there-s-a-widespread-belief-that-if-you-have-solid-self-esteem-you/) [Harriet Lerner](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/harriet-lerner/) > [It is an act of courage to acknowledge our own uncertainty and sit with it for a while.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/harriet-lerner/it-is-an-act-of-courage-to-acknowledge-our-own-uncertainty-and-sit/) [Harriet Lerner](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/harriet-lerner/) > [Silence can pose a greater threat than the difficult truth.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/harriet-lerner/silence-can-pose-a-greater-threat-than-the-difficult-truth/) [Harriet Lerner](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/harriet-lerner/) > [Nothing you say can ensure that the other person will get it, or respond the way you want. You may never exceed his threshold…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/harriet-lerner/nothing-you-say-can-ensure-that-the-other-person-will-get-it-or/) [Harriet Lerner](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/harriet-lerner/) > [If you exchanged wedding vows, tape them to your bathroom mirror and read them aloud to yourself every morning along with the ritual brushing…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/harriet-lerner/if-you-exchanged-wedding-vows-tape-them-to-your-bathroom-mirror-and/) [Harriet Lerner](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/harriet-lerner/) > [Kids want nothing more than for all the important adults in their life to get along.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/harriet-lerner/kids-want-nothing-more-than-for-all-the-important-adults-in-their/) [Harriet Lerner](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/harriet-lerner/) > [“People's sense of self worth is pivotal to their ability to look clearly at the hurt they've caused. The more solid one's sense of…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/harriet-lerner/people-s-sense-of-self-worth-is-pivotal-to-their-ability-to-look/) [Harriet Lerner](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/harriet-lerner/) > [Being able to make a sincere apology - one that says, "Yes, I get it; I screwed up. Your feelings make sense, and I'm…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/harriet-lerner/being-able-to-make-a-sincere-apology-one-that-says-yes-i-get-it-i/) [Harriet Lerner](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/harriet-lerner/) > [“Everyone freaks out. Sometimes the best we can do with fear is befriend it. Expect it and understand that fear will always reappear. Eventually…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/harriet-lerner/everyone-freaks-out-sometimes-the-best-we-can-do-with-fear-is/) [Harriet Lerner](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/harriet-lerner/) > [The bolder and more courageous you are, the more you will learn about yourself.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/harriet-lerner/the-bolder-and-more-courageous-you-are-the-more-you-will-learn-about/) [Harriet Lerner](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/harriet-lerner/) > [Underground issues from one relationship or context invariably fuel our fires in another.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/harriet-lerner/underground-issues-from-one-relationship-or-context-invariably-fuel/) [Harriet Lerner](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/harriet-lerner/) > [There are some things for which there is no apology, and on the question of slavery, there is no adequate apology for ripping people…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/harriet-lerner/there-are-some-things-for-which-there-is-no-apology-and-on-the/) [Harriet Lerner](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/harriet-lerner/) > [Don't count on the power of your love or your nagging to create something that wasn't there to begin with.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/harriet-lerner/don-t-count-on-the-power-of-your-love-or-your-nagging-to-create/) [Harriet Lerner](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/harriet-lerner/) > [If we only listened with the same passion that we feel about being heard.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/harriet-lerner/if-we-only-listened-with-the-same-passion-that-we-feel-about-being/) [Harriet Lerner](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/harriet-lerner/) [Explore all 113 Harriet Lerner quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/harriet-lerner/) ## More Ability quotes > [I don't think there's a direct correlation between my sexuality and my skiing ability. But I think because I was so concerned about it…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gus-kenworthy/i-don-t-think-there-s-a-direct-correlation-between-my-sexuality-and/) [Gus Kenworthy](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/gus-kenworthy/) > [“the importance of ability. The things that make a great job great, I discovered, are rare and valuable. If you want them in your…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/cal-newport/the-importance-of-ability-the-things-that-make-a-great-job-great-i/) [Cal Newport](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/cal-newport/) > [Ambition drives you on, ability certainly helps, but the fickle finger of fate and luck are great things.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/fergus-henderson/ambition-drives-you-on-ability-certainly-helps-but-the-fickle-finger/) [Fergus Henderson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/fergus-henderson/) > [The ability of the gospel to unite us on common strengths and common truths is one of the great miracles . . . of the gospel.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jeffrey-r-holland/the-ability-of-the-gospel-to-unite-us-on-common-strengths-and-common/) [Jeffrey R. Holland](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jeffrey-r-holland/) > [Maybe law enforcement would like the ability to turn on the camera on your Mac.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/tim-cook/maybe-law-enforcement-would-like-the-ability-to-turn-on-the-camera-on/) [Tim Cook](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/tim-cook/) > [I've seen guys come along with more ability - they've been faster or bigger or stronger - but they never worked hard to develop…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/steve-largent/i-ve-seen-guys-come-along-with-more-ability-they-ve-been-faster-or/) [Steve Largent](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/steve-largent/) > [The youth of India has the strength to move the entire World with a click of a mouse, we have generated that ability!](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/narendra-modi/the-youth-of-india-has-the-strength-to-move-the-entire-world-with-a/) [Narendra Modi](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/narendra-modi/) > [Time hath not yet so dried this blood of mine, Nor age so eat up my invention, Nor fortune made such havoc of my…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/william-shakespeare/time-hath-not-yet-so-dried-this-blood-of-mine-nor-age-so-eat-up-my/) [William Shakespeare](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/william-shakespeare/) > [An absolutely necessary part of a writer's equipment, almost as necessary as talent, is the ability to stand up under punishment, both the punishment…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/irwin-shaw/an-absolutely-necessary-part-of-a-writer-s-equipment-almost-as/) [Irwin Shaw](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/irwin-shaw/) > [I'd be more frightened by not using whatever abilities I'd been given. I'd be more frightened by procrastination and laziness.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/denzel-washington/i-d-be-more-frightened-by-not-using-whatever-abilities-i-d-been-given/) [Denzel Washington](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/denzel-washington/) > [Bring into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ. Take what I cannot give: my heart, body, thoughts, time, abilities, money, health, strength,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/elizabeth-prentiss/bring-into-captivity-every-thought-to-the-obedience-of-christ-take/) [Elizabeth Prentiss](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/elizabeth-prentiss/) > [You can only do the work to the very best of your ability.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/christine-baranski/you-can-only-do-the-work-to-the-very-best-of-your-ability/) [Christine Baranski](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/christine-baranski/) > [Judge a person not by his ability to make money but by his ability to retain it.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/vikrant-parsai/judge-a-person-not-by-his-ability-to-make-money-but-by-his-ability-to/) [Vikrant Parsai](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/vikrant-parsai/) > [Balance is the ability to be happy in the midst of the most chaotic or even boring or transient circumstance.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/frederick-lenz/balance-is-the-ability-to-be-happy-in-the-midst-of-the-most-chaotic/) [Frederick Lenz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/frederick-lenz/) > [Bobby had faith in my ability as a singer.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/julie-london/bobby-had-faith-in-my-ability-as-a-singer/) [Julie London](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/julie-london/) [Browse all 9,990 Ability quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/ability/) ```json { "@context": "https://schema.org", "@graph": [ { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "While women once acquired relationship skills to \"hook,\" \"snare,\" or \"catch\" a husband who would provide access to economic security and social status, the position of contemporary women has not changed that radically. 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