--- title: "Meaning & Key Takeaway of: People marry with a deep longing that…" description: "\"People marry with a deep longing that their partner will tend to their wounds, not throw salt in them. Honor your partner's vulnerability.\" — Harriet L..." image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/cdd/harriet-lerner-4248_honor_people-marry-with-a-deep-longing-that-th_2823398.jpg" --- # People marry with a deep longing that their partner will… ![“People marry with a deep longing that their partner will tend to their wounds, not throw salt in them. Honor your partner's vulnerability.” quote by Harriet Lerner](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/cdd/harriet-lerner-4248_honor_people-marry-with-a-deep-longing-that-th_2823398.jpg) [Download](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/cdd/harriet-lerner-4248_honor_people-marry-with-a-deep-longing-that-th_2823398.jpg) [Open image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/cdd/harriet-lerner-4248_honor_people-marry-with-a-deep-longing-that-th_2823398.jpg) > “People marry with a deep longing that their partner will tend to their wounds, not throw salt in them. Honor your partner's vulnerability.” [Harriet Lerner](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/harriet-lerner/) ## About This Quote This interpretation was drafted with AI assistance. It is one reading of the quote, not the author's own explanation. People seek partners who will heal them rather than harm them, and must respect each other's vulnerability. **In simple terms:** Seek healing, not harm, in relationships. Key Takeaway Protect and honor each other's wounds. Themes love vulnerability healing Mood empathetic reflective Type advice relationship When to use this quote - marriage - friendship - therapy - conflict resolution Key Concepts attachment emotional safety Questions to Reflect On - How do you support a partner's vulnerability? - What boundaries protect both partners? A Different Perspective Not all wounds can be healed by a partner; some require personal work. ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ No ratings yet [Honor](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/honor/) [Longing](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/longing/) [Longing Partner](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/longing-partner-3606740/) [Marriage](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/marriage/) [Marry](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/marry/) [Marry Deep](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/marry-deep-3606738/) [Partner Vulnerability](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/partner-vulnerability-3606739/) [Partners](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/partners/) [People](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/people/) [People Marry](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/people-marry/) [Salt](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/salt/) [Vulnerability](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/vulnerability/) [Wounds](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/wounds/) ## Related quotes > [It's not that marriage itself is bad; it's the people we marry who give it a bad name.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/terry-mcmillan/it-s-not-that-marriage-itself-is-bad-it-s-the-people-we-marry-who/) [Terry McMillan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/terry-mcmillan/) > [It's silly that anyone in this world tells you that there are only certain people that can marry you.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kevin-smith/it-s-silly-that-anyone-in-this-world-tells-you-that-there-are-only/) [Kevin Smith](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kevin-smith/) > [“Studies show that 70% of people who marry their best friend stay married their entire lifetime.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/shelly-crane/studies-show-that-70-of-people-who-marry-their-best-friend-stay/) [Shelly Crane](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/shelly-crane/) > [People marry through a variety of other reasons, and with varying results: but to marry for love is to invite inevitable tragedy.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/james-branch-cabell/people-marry-through-a-variety-of-other-reasons-and-with-varying/) [James Branch Cabell](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/james-branch-cabell/) > [What I do know is sometimes we love the wrong people and sometimes we marry them.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/terry-mcmillan/what-i-do-know-is-sometimes-we-love-the-wrong-people-and-sometimes-we/) [Terry McMillan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/terry-mcmillan/) > [The divorce rate would be lower if instead of marrying for better or worse people would marry for good.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ruby-dee/the-divorce-rate-would-be-lower-if-instead-of-marrying-for-better-or/) [Ruby Dee](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ruby-dee/) > [“No, but he’s on his way to it,’ she replies. ‘You don’t think I’m wrong to try to influence Guthrie’s life, do you, Hester?’…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/d-e-stevenson/no-but-he-s-on-his-way-to-it-she-replies-you-don-t-think-i-m-wrong-to/) [D.E. Stevenson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/d-e-stevenson/) > [Most people marry their mother. I married my father.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wayne-gretzky/most-people-marry-their-mother-i-married-my-father/) [Wayne Gretzky](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/wayne-gretzky/) > [I've never quite understood why people marry; marriage is just an invented structure](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/julie-christie/i-ve-never-quite-understood-why-people-marry-marriage-is-just-an/) [Julie Christie](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/julie-christie/) > [The people who marry make a good marriage not marriage in itself.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/friedrich-nietzsche/the-people-who-marry-make-a-good-marriage-not-marriage-in-itself/) [Friedrich Nietzsche](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/friedrich-nietzsche/) > [When two divorced people marry, four people get into bed](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jewish-proverb/when-two-divorced-people-marry-four-people-get-into-bed/) [Jewish Proverb](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jewish-proverb/) > [I'm about the only person in my family that's made it to 24 without being married. That's the way it works where I'm from.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/carrie-underwood/i-m-about-the-only-person-in-my-family-that-s-made-it-to-24-without/) [Carrie Underwood](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/carrie-underwood/) > [The finest people marry the two sexes in their own person.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ralph-waldo-emerson/the-finest-people-marry-the-two-sexes-in-their-own-person/) [Ralph Waldo Emerson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ralph-waldo-emerson/) > [People don't think about the fact that when Barack Obama's parents had him it was illegal for them to be married in several states…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kerry-washington/people-don-t-think-about-the-fact-that-when-barack-obama-s-parents/) [Kerry Washington](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kerry-washington/) > [It is not from reason and prudence that people marry, but from inclination.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/samuel-johnson/it-is-not-from-reason-and-prudence-that-people-marry-but-from/) [Samuel Johnson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/samuel-johnson/) ## More by Harriet Lerner > [“Letting go of anger and hate requires us to give up the hope for a different past, along with the hope of a fantasized…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/harriet-lerner/letting-go-of-anger-and-hate-requires-us-to-give-up-the-hope-for-a/) [Harriet Lerner](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/harriet-lerner/) > [“There’s a widespread belief that if you have solid self-esteem you don’t need outside affirmation and praise. This is patently untrue, by the way.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/harriet-lerner/there-s-a-widespread-belief-that-if-you-have-solid-self-esteem-you/) [Harriet Lerner](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/harriet-lerner/) > [It is an act of courage to acknowledge our own uncertainty and sit with it for a while.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/harriet-lerner/it-is-an-act-of-courage-to-acknowledge-our-own-uncertainty-and-sit/) [Harriet Lerner](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/harriet-lerner/) > [Silence can pose a greater threat than the difficult truth.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/harriet-lerner/silence-can-pose-a-greater-threat-than-the-difficult-truth/) [Harriet Lerner](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/harriet-lerner/) > [Nothing you say can ensure that the other person will get it, or respond the way you want. You may never exceed his threshold…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/harriet-lerner/nothing-you-say-can-ensure-that-the-other-person-will-get-it-or/) [Harriet Lerner](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/harriet-lerner/) > [If you exchanged wedding vows, tape them to your bathroom mirror and read them aloud to yourself every morning along with the ritual brushing…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/harriet-lerner/if-you-exchanged-wedding-vows-tape-them-to-your-bathroom-mirror-and/) [Harriet Lerner](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/harriet-lerner/) > [Kids want nothing more than for all the important adults in their life to get along.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/harriet-lerner/kids-want-nothing-more-than-for-all-the-important-adults-in-their/) [Harriet Lerner](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/harriet-lerner/) > [“People's sense of self worth is pivotal to their ability to look clearly at the hurt they've caused. The more solid one's sense of…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/harriet-lerner/people-s-sense-of-self-worth-is-pivotal-to-their-ability-to-look/) [Harriet Lerner](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/harriet-lerner/) > [Being able to make a sincere apology - one that says, "Yes, I get it; I screwed up. Your feelings make sense, and I'm…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/harriet-lerner/being-able-to-make-a-sincere-apology-one-that-says-yes-i-get-it-i/) [Harriet Lerner](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/harriet-lerner/) > [“Everyone freaks out. Sometimes the best we can do with fear is befriend it. Expect it and understand that fear will always reappear. Eventually…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/harriet-lerner/everyone-freaks-out-sometimes-the-best-we-can-do-with-fear-is/) [Harriet Lerner](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/harriet-lerner/) > [The bolder and more courageous you are, the more you will learn about yourself.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/harriet-lerner/the-bolder-and-more-courageous-you-are-the-more-you-will-learn-about/) [Harriet Lerner](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/harriet-lerner/) > [Underground issues from one relationship or context invariably fuel our fires in another.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/harriet-lerner/underground-issues-from-one-relationship-or-context-invariably-fuel/) [Harriet Lerner](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/harriet-lerner/) > [There are some things for which there is no apology, and on the question of slavery, there is no adequate apology for ripping people…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/harriet-lerner/there-are-some-things-for-which-there-is-no-apology-and-on-the/) [Harriet Lerner](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/harriet-lerner/) > [Don't count on the power of your love or your nagging to create something that wasn't there to begin with.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/harriet-lerner/don-t-count-on-the-power-of-your-love-or-your-nagging-to-create/) [Harriet Lerner](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/harriet-lerner/) > [If we only listened with the same passion that we feel about being heard.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/harriet-lerner/if-we-only-listened-with-the-same-passion-that-we-feel-about-being/) [Harriet Lerner](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/harriet-lerner/) [Explore all 113 Harriet Lerner quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/harriet-lerner/) ## More Honor quotes > [Women still, when they have breast cancer, go to work; they still lead their lives. They have to. I just did what I was…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/monica-potter/women-still-when-they-have-breast-cancer-go-to-work-they-still-lead/) [Monica Potter](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/monica-potter/) > [If you had made the acquiring of ignorance the study of your life, you could not have graduated with higher honor than you could…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mark-twain/if-you-had-made-the-acquiring-of-ignorance-the-study-of-your-life-you/) [Mark Twain](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mark-twain/) > [From the bitter cold winter at Valley Forge, to the mountains of Afghanistan and the deserts of Iraq, our soldiers have courageously answered when…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/solomon-ortiz/from-the-bitter-cold-winter-at-valley-forge-to-the-mountains-of/) [Solomon Ortiz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/solomon-ortiz/) > [It is sure that those are most desirous of honour or glory who cry out loudest of its abuse and the vanity of the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/baruch-spinoza/it-is-sure-that-those-are-most-desirous-of-honour-or-glory-who-cry/) [Baruch Spinoza](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/baruch-spinoza/) > [This is what I say about the scorn of the media elite: I wear their scorn as a badge of honor.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dan-quayle/this-is-what-i-say-about-the-scorn-of-the-media-elite-i-wear-their/) [Dan Quayle](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dan-quayle/) > [Just being in a video game is an honor, and being on the cover, I can't really describe it.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/aaron-judge/just-being-in-a-video-game-is-an-honor-and-being-on-the-cover-i-can-t/) [Aaron Judge](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/aaron-judge/) > [Spade! Thou art a tool of honor in my hands. I press thee, through a yielding soil, with pride.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/william-wordsworth/spade-thou-art-a-tool-of-honor-in-my-hands-i-press-thee-through-a/) [William Wordsworth](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/william-wordsworth/) > [Although I write in English, and despite the fact that I'm from America, I consider myself an Armenian writer. The words I use are…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/william-saroyan/although-i-write-in-english-and-despite-the-fact-that-i-m-from/) [William Saroyan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/william-saroyan/) > [Making money doesn't oblige people to forfeit their honor or their conscience.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/guy-de-rothschild/making-money-doesn-t-oblige-people-to-forfeit-their-honor-or-their/) [Guy de Rothschild](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/guy-de-rothschild/) > [The dog is guided by kindly instinct to the man or woman whose heart is open to his advances. The cat often leaves the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/agnes-repplier/the-dog-is-guided-by-kindly-instinct-to-the-man-or-woman-whose-heart/) [Agnes Repplier](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/agnes-repplier/) > [“He put his forehead against hers. “Alannah, my heart is yours.” He said softly. “And yet, I must hand it over to someone else…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/b-c-morin/he-put-his-forehead-against-hers-alannah-my-heart-is-yours-he-said/) [B.C. Morin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/b-c-morin/) > [Use every man according to his desert and who should 'scape whipping? Use them after your own honor and dignity, the less they deserve…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/william-shakespeare/use-every-man-according-to-his-desert-and-who-should-scape-whipping/) [William Shakespeare](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/william-shakespeare/) > [There is honor between bitches](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/tess-gerritsen/there-is-honor-between-bitches/) [Tess Gerritsen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/tess-gerritsen/) > [A man should be upright, not kept upright.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/marcus-aurelius/a-man-should-be-upright-not-kept-upright/) [Marcus Aurelius](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/marcus-aurelius/) > [I know my idea of beauty isn't what most people's is, and the fact that I'm getting the opportunity to show my beauty and…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kelly-osbourne/i-know-my-idea-of-beauty-isn-t-what-most-people-s-is-and-the-fact/) [Kelly Osbourne](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kelly-osbourne/) [Browse all 5,016 Honor quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/honor/) ```json { "@context": "https://schema.org", "@graph": [ { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "People marry with a deep longing that their partner will tend to their wounds, not throw salt in them. 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