--- title: "Meaning & Key Takeaway of: It is not fear that stops you from doing…" description: "\"It is not fear that stops you from doing the brave and true thing in your daily life. Rather, the problem is avoidance. You want to feel comfortable so..." image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/e4b/harriet-lerner-4248_avoidance_it-is-not-fear-that-stops-you-from-doing_2828056.jpg" --- # It is not fear that stops you from doing the brave and… ![“It is not fear that stops you from doing the brave and true thing in your daily life. Rather, the problem is avoidance. You want to feel comfortable so you avoid doing or saying the thing that will evoke fear and other difficult emotions. Avoidance will make you feel less vulnerable in the short…” quote by Harriet Lerner](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/e4b/harriet-lerner-4248_avoidance_it-is-not-fear-that-stops-you-from-doing_2828056.jpg) [Download](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/e4b/harriet-lerner-4248_avoidance_it-is-not-fear-that-stops-you-from-doing_2828056.jpg) [Open image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/e4b/harriet-lerner-4248_avoidance_it-is-not-fear-that-stops-you-from-doing_2828056.jpg) > “It is not fear that stops you from doing the brave and true thing in your daily life. Rather, the problem is avoidance. You want to feel comfortable so you avoid doing or saying the thing that will evoke fear and other difficult emotions. Avoidance will make you feel less vulnerable in the short run but, it will never make you less afraid.” [Harriet Lerner](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/harriet-lerner/) ## About This Quote This interpretation was drafted with AI assistance. It is one reading of the quote, not the author's own explanation. Avoidance masks fear but never reduces it; confronting difficult emotions is necessary for true courage. **In simple terms:** Avoidance hides fear but doesn't cure it. Key Takeaway Face discomfort to grow. Themes courage self-awareness emotional health Mood reflective determined Type advice motivational When to use this quote - personal relationships - workplace challenges - public speaking - conflict resolution Key Concepts psychology behavioral avoidance Questions to Reflect On - What fear are you avoiding? - How could confronting it change your life? A Different Perspective Avoidance may provide temporary relief but can reinforce long‑term anxiety. ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ No ratings yet [Brave](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/brave/) [Courage](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/courage/) [Daily life](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/daily-life/) [Emotion](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/emotion/) [Fear](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/fear/) [Life](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/life/) [Problem](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/problem/) [Running](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/running/) ## Related quotes > [“Could doing brave things make you brave, as push-ups made you stronger? Was courage bone or muscle? Somtehing that was meted out at birth…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/fischer/could-doing-brave-things-make-you-brave-as-push-ups-made-you-stronger/) Fischer > [“Welcome to the world of difficult choices. You’re doing a brave thing, Neeva, but it only counts if the ones you love know you’re…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/taylor-stevens/welcome-to-the-world-of-difficult-choices-you-re-doing-a-brave-thing/) [Taylor Stevens](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/taylor-stevens/) > [Whatever we learn to do, we learn by actually doing it; men come to be builders, for instance, by building, and harp players by…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/aristotle/whatever-we-learn-to-do-we-learn-by-actually-doing-it-men-come-to-be/) [Aristotle](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/aristotle/) > [What's risky is living your life and never trying for anything and never doing something brave and never getting yourself scared.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/angelina-jolie/what-s-risky-is-living-your-life-and-never-trying-for-anything-and/) [Angelina Jolie](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/angelina-jolie/) > [We become brave by doing brave acts.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/aristotle/we-become-brave-by-doing-brave-acts/) [Aristotle](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/aristotle/) > [One question," I said. "Did you tell me all that because you think I'm going to die?" "No," he said. "It's because you're doing…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/maureen-johnson/one-question-i-said-did-you-tell-me-all-that-because-you-think-i-m/) [Maureen Johnson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/maureen-johnson/) > [“Nothing encumbered movement more than fear, which was often the most difficult burden to surrender.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/christina-baker-kline/nothing-encumbered-movement-more-than-fear-which-was-often-the-most/) [Christina Baker Kline](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/christina-baker-kline/) > [To have courage, one must first be afraid. The deeper the fear, the more difficult the climb toward courage.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jim-bishop/to-have-courage-one-must-first-be-afraid-the-deeper-the-fear-the-more/) [Jim Bishop](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jim-bishop/) > [“It is very easy to create fear but very difficult to instill confidence.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/balan-gothandaraman/it-is-very-easy-to-create-fear-but-very-difficult-to-instill/) [Balan Gothandaraman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/balan-gothandaraman/) > [I get so nervous on stage I can't help but talk. I try. I try telling my brain: stop sending words to the mouth.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/adele/i-get-so-nervous-on-stage-i-can-t-help-but-talk-i-try-i-try-telling/) [Adele](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/adele/) > [The shackles of belief, when reinforced by fear, are difficult to break free from and rarely done.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/richard-paul-evans/the-shackles-of-belief-when-reinforced-by-fear-are-difficult-to-break/) [Richard Paul Evans](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/richard-paul-evans/) > [With a hangover and with fear, it is difficult to put a helmet on your head.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/tim-o-brien/with-a-hangover-and-with-fear-it-is-difficult-to-put-a-helmet-on-your/) [Tim O'Brien](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/tim-o-brien/) > [Above all, don’t fear difficult moments. The best comes from them](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/rita-levi-montalcini/above-all-don-t-fear-difficult-moments-the-best-comes-from-them/) [Rita Levi-Montalcini](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/rita-levi-montalcini/) > [DON'T be afraid to reach toward your dreams. FEAR stops you only if you let it. PLAN carefully for that first essential move- and…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/don-t-be-afraid-to-reach-toward-your-dreams-fear-stops-you-only-if/) [Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/) > [Living with fear stops us taking risks, and if you don't go out on the branch, you're never going to get the best fruit.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sarah-parish/living-with-fear-stops-us-taking-risks-and-if-you-don-t-go-out-on-the/) [Sarah Parish](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sarah-parish/) ## More by Harriet Lerner > [“Letting go of anger and hate requires us to give up the hope for a different past, along with the hope of a fantasized…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/harriet-lerner/letting-go-of-anger-and-hate-requires-us-to-give-up-the-hope-for-a/) [Harriet Lerner](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/harriet-lerner/) > [“There’s a widespread belief that if you have solid self-esteem you don’t need outside affirmation and praise. This is patently untrue, by the way.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/harriet-lerner/there-s-a-widespread-belief-that-if-you-have-solid-self-esteem-you/) [Harriet Lerner](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/harriet-lerner/) > [It is an act of courage to acknowledge our own uncertainty and sit with it for a while.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/harriet-lerner/it-is-an-act-of-courage-to-acknowledge-our-own-uncertainty-and-sit/) [Harriet Lerner](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/harriet-lerner/) > [Silence can pose a greater threat than the difficult truth.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/harriet-lerner/silence-can-pose-a-greater-threat-than-the-difficult-truth/) [Harriet Lerner](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/harriet-lerner/) > [Nothing you say can ensure that the other person will get it, or respond the way you want. You may never exceed his threshold…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/harriet-lerner/nothing-you-say-can-ensure-that-the-other-person-will-get-it-or/) [Harriet Lerner](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/harriet-lerner/) > [If you exchanged wedding vows, tape them to your bathroom mirror and read them aloud to yourself every morning along with the ritual brushing…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/harriet-lerner/if-you-exchanged-wedding-vows-tape-them-to-your-bathroom-mirror-and/) [Harriet Lerner](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/harriet-lerner/) > [Kids want nothing more than for all the important adults in their life to get along.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/harriet-lerner/kids-want-nothing-more-than-for-all-the-important-adults-in-their/) [Harriet Lerner](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/harriet-lerner/) > [“People's sense of self worth is pivotal to their ability to look clearly at the hurt they've caused. The more solid one's sense of…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/harriet-lerner/people-s-sense-of-self-worth-is-pivotal-to-their-ability-to-look/) [Harriet Lerner](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/harriet-lerner/) > [Being able to make a sincere apology - one that says, "Yes, I get it; I screwed up. Your feelings make sense, and I'm…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/harriet-lerner/being-able-to-make-a-sincere-apology-one-that-says-yes-i-get-it-i/) [Harriet Lerner](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/harriet-lerner/) > [“Everyone freaks out. Sometimes the best we can do with fear is befriend it. Expect it and understand that fear will always reappear. Eventually…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/harriet-lerner/everyone-freaks-out-sometimes-the-best-we-can-do-with-fear-is/) [Harriet Lerner](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/harriet-lerner/) > [The bolder and more courageous you are, the more you will learn about yourself.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/harriet-lerner/the-bolder-and-more-courageous-you-are-the-more-you-will-learn-about/) [Harriet Lerner](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/harriet-lerner/) > [Underground issues from one relationship or context invariably fuel our fires in another.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/harriet-lerner/underground-issues-from-one-relationship-or-context-invariably-fuel/) [Harriet Lerner](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/harriet-lerner/) > [There are some things for which there is no apology, and on the question of slavery, there is no adequate apology for ripping people…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/harriet-lerner/there-are-some-things-for-which-there-is-no-apology-and-on-the/) [Harriet Lerner](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/harriet-lerner/) > [Don't count on the power of your love or your nagging to create something that wasn't there to begin with.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/harriet-lerner/don-t-count-on-the-power-of-your-love-or-your-nagging-to-create/) [Harriet Lerner](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/harriet-lerner/) > [If we only listened with the same passion that we feel about being heard.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/harriet-lerner/if-we-only-listened-with-the-same-passion-that-we-feel-about-being/) [Harriet Lerner](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/harriet-lerner/) [Explore all 113 Harriet Lerner quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/harriet-lerner/) ## More Avoidance quotes > [Unmarried couples should get married - that's an excellent tax avoidance measure, if a bit drastic.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-whiting/unmarried-couples-should-get-married-that-s-an-excellent-tax/) John Whiting > [“Collect yourself: to smother what you feel, recall to order, summon in one place; making, like Orpheus, a system against loss.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ruth-padel/collect-yourself-to-smother-what-you-feel-recall-to-order-summon-in/) [Ruth Padel](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ruth-padel/) > [All work is the avoidance of harder work.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/james-richardson/all-work-is-the-avoidance-of-harder-work/) [James Richardson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/james-richardson/) > [“People spend entire lifetimes trying to avoid the things that have already happened.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/silvia-hartmann/people-spend-entire-lifetimes-trying-to-avoid-the-things-that-have/) [Silvia Hartmann](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/silvia-hartmann/) > [America is not static. America is striving. And sometimes, America requires critique. Jingoism is an avoidance of realism. You can simultaneously love and be…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/charles-m-blow/america-is-not-static-america-is-striving-and-sometimes-america/) [Charles M. Blow](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/charles-m-blow/) > [I am not in favour of the takeover of excellent and strategically important British companies by struggling foreign firms whose actions are fuelled by…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/david-sainsbury-baron-sainsbury-of-turville/i-am-not-in-favour-of-the-takeover-of-excellent-and-strategically/) [David Sainsbury, Baron Sainsbury of Turville](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/david-sainsbury-baron-sainsbury-of-turville/) > [Most human behavior is nothing other than the avoidance of pain and the pursuit of pleasure.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/deepak-chopra/most-human-behavior-is-nothing-other-than-the-avoidance-of-pain-and/) [Deepak Chopra](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/deepak-chopra/) > [You can gain power by avoidance. You can gain power by doing certain things. You can gain much more power by meditating.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/frederick-lenz/you-can-gain-power-by-avoidance-you-can-gain-power-by-doing-certain/) [Frederick Lenz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/frederick-lenz/) > [“If you love stress, practice avoidance.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sharon-rowe/if-you-love-stress-practice-avoidance/) Sharon Rowe > [I've been trying to avoid my problems, and I don't know what to do. I get high, but when I come down, my problems…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/eugene-nathaniel-butler/i-ve-been-trying-to-avoid-my-problems-and-i-don-t-know-what-to-do-i/) [Eugene Nathaniel Butler](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/eugene-nathaniel-butler/) > [All the textbooks talk about avoidance as a classic hallmark of anxiety disorder. So you need a therapist who is sympathetic and understanding but…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/scott-stossel/all-the-textbooks-talk-about-avoidance-as-a-classic-hallmark-of/) [Scott Stossel](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/scott-stossel/) > [I read recently in an article by G.K. Chesterton, that sex without gestation and parturition is like blowing the trumpets and waving the flags…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dora-russell/i-read-recently-in-an-article-by-g-k-chesterton-that-sex-without/) [Dora Russell](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dora-russell/) > [Be truthful... and pay attention. I would also recommend the avoidance of credit cards.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mary-mccarthy/be-truthful-and-pay-attention-i-would-also-recommend-the-avoidance-of/) [Mary McCarthy](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mary-mccarthy/) > [“Most of us will do anything to avoid facing ourselves”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lolly-daskal/most-of-us-will-do-anything-to-avoid-facing-ourselves/) [Lolly Daskal](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lolly-daskal/) > [The pleasant life is not produced by continual drinking and dancing, nor sexual intercourse, nor rare dishes of sea food and other delicacies of…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/epicurus/the-pleasant-life-is-not-produced-by-continual-drinking-and-dancing/) [Epicurus](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/epicurus/) Browse all 290 Avoidance quotes ```json { "@context": "https://schema.org", "@graph": [ { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "It is not fear that stops you from doing the brave and true thing in your daily life. 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