--- title: "Meaning & Key Takeaway of: Every time I open Facebook, I see a post…" description: "\"Every time I open Facebook, I see a post with something like, \"We must forgive or be prisoners of our own bitterness and hate.\" People think that forgi..." image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/c33/harriet-lerner-4248_bitterness_every-time-i-open-facebook-i-see-a-post_751974.jpg" --- # Every time I open Facebook, I see a post with something… ![“Every time I open Facebook, I see a post with something like, "We must forgive or be prisoners of our own bitterness and hate." People think that forgiveness is all-or-nothing, but this myth hurts people. You can forgive 10, 97, or 14 percent. Forgiveness is complicated.” quote by Harriet Lerner](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/c33/harriet-lerner-4248_bitterness_every-time-i-open-facebook-i-see-a-post_751974.jpg) [Download](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/c33/harriet-lerner-4248_bitterness_every-time-i-open-facebook-i-see-a-post_751974.jpg) [Open image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/c33/harriet-lerner-4248_bitterness_every-time-i-open-facebook-i-see-a-post_751974.jpg) > “Every time I open Facebook, I see a post with something like, "We must forgive or be prisoners of our own bitterness and hate." People think that forgiveness is all-or-nothing, but this myth hurts people. You can forgive 10, 97, or 14 percent. Forgiveness is complicated.” [Harriet Lerner](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/harriet-lerner/) ## About This Quote This interpretation was drafted with AI assistance. It is one reading of the quote, not the author's own explanation. Forgiveness is presented as a nuanced, non‑binary process where partial forgiveness is possible, challenging the myth of all‑or‑nothing forgiveness. **In simple terms:** Forgiveness can be partial, not absolute. Key Takeaway Allow yourself to forgive in degrees. Themes forgiveness complexity self‑growth Mood thoughtful empathetic Type reflective inspirational When to use this quote - personal grievances - family disputes - trauma recovery Key Concepts psychology emotional health conflict resolution Questions to Reflect On - What does partial forgiveness look like for you? - How can you practice compassionate self‑judgment? A Different Perspective Partial forgiveness may feel insufficient. ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ No ratings yet [Bitterness](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/bitterness/) [Complicated](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/complicated/) [Forgive](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/forgive/) [Forgiveness](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/forgiveness/) [Forgiveness Myth](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/forgiveness-myth-5849144/) [Forgiving](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/forgiving/) [Hate](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/hate/) [Hate people](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/hate-people/) [Hurt](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/hurt/) [Myth](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/myth/) [People](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/people/) [Percent Forgiveness](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/percent-forgiveness-5849143/) [Prisoner](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/prisoner/) [Think Forgiveness](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/think-forgiveness-534974/) [Thinking](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/thinking/) [Time](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/time/) ## Related quotes > [I think forgiveness is overrated, personally, because some things people do are unforgivable.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/charlamagne-tha-god/i-think-forgiveness-is-overrated-personally-because-some-things/) [Charlamagne tha God](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/charlamagne-tha-god/) > [I am responsible for what I see. I can elect to change all thoughts that hurt. I could see peace instead of THIS. The…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/hugh-prather/i-am-responsible-for-what-i-see-i-can-elect-to-change-all-thoughts/) [Hugh Prather](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/hugh-prather/) > [When people came to Christ accusing a person of doing wrong, the Master could not think of anything else but forgiveness. For he did…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/hazrat-inayat-khan/when-people-came-to-christ-accusing-a-person-of-doing-wrong-the/) [Hazrat Inayat Khan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/hazrat-inayat-khan/) > [“For forgiveness to work in your life, it has to be genuine. It has to come from the heart. When it does, it is…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/winsome-campbell-green/for-forgiveness-to-work-in-your-life-it-has-to-be-genuine-it-has-to/) [Winsome Campbell-Green](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/winsome-campbell-green/) > [“I think forgiveness is a missing key to corporate success.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/shandel-slaten/i-think-forgiveness-is-a-missing-key-to-corporate-success/) [Shandel Slaten](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/shandel-slaten/) > [I think forgiveness is absolutely mandatory. When you don't forgive the only person you are hurting is yourself because you are still harboring the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-assaraf/i-think-forgiveness-is-absolutely-mandatory-when-you-don-t-forgive/) [John Assaraf](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-assaraf/) > [I have truly moved beyond my victimization. I do not think of myself as a victim. I don't think of myself as a survivor.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/stephanie-davis/i-have-truly-moved-beyond-my-victimization-i-do-not-think-of-myself/) [Stephanie Davis](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/stephanie-davis/) > [“Elle: "You really think there's no forgiveness in what happened?" Nico: "Forgiveness from who, Elle?”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/vi-keeland/elle-you-really-think-there-s-no-forgiveness-in-what-happened-nico/) [Vi Keeland](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/vi-keeland/) > [I think forgiveness plays a very important part in Western society and it comes from the Judeo Christian heritage.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ibn-warraq/i-think-forgiveness-plays-a-very-important-part-in-western-society/) [Ibn Warraq](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ibn-warraq/) > [“People think that forgiveness is for the person who wronged you, but it's not. Because when we allow things to bottle up inside of…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/vanessa-miller/people-think-that-forgiveness-is-for-the-person-who-wronged-you-but/) [Vanessa Miller](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/vanessa-miller/) > [ I think \[forgiveness\] may be the greatest virtue on earth, and certainly the most needed. There is so much of meanness and abuse, of… ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gordon-b-hinckley/i-think-forgiveness-may-be-the-greatest-virtue-on-earth-and-certainly/) [Gordon B. Hinckley](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/gordon-b-hinckley/) > [“He knew exactly how to hit a woman, so that the marks hardly showed. He knew how to kiss her, too, so that her…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alice-hoffman/he-knew-exactly-how-to-hit-a-woman-so-that-the-marks-hardly-showed-he/) [Alice Hoffman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alice-hoffman/) > [I think forgiveness is probably one of the greatest forms of self-love there is because you don't do forgiveness for anybody else. My captors…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/elizabeth-smart/i-think-forgiveness-is-probably-one-of-the-greatest-forms-of-self/) [Elizabeth Smart](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/elizabeth-smart/) > [I think forgiveness is a release of emotions, a release to say "No I let go". I think it is critical for our mental…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-assaraf/i-think-forgiveness-is-a-release-of-emotions-a-release-to-say-no-i/) [John Assaraf](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-assaraf/) > [We think that forgiveness is weakness, but it's absolutely not; it takes a very strong person to forgive.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/t-d-jakes/we-think-that-forgiveness-is-weakness-but-it-s-absolutely-not-it/) [T. D. Jakes](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/t-d-jakes/) ## More by Harriet Lerner > [“Letting go of anger and hate requires us to give up the hope for a different past, along with the hope of a fantasized…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/harriet-lerner/letting-go-of-anger-and-hate-requires-us-to-give-up-the-hope-for-a/) [Harriet Lerner](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/harriet-lerner/) > [“There’s a widespread belief that if you have solid self-esteem you don’t need outside affirmation and praise. This is patently untrue, by the way.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/harriet-lerner/there-s-a-widespread-belief-that-if-you-have-solid-self-esteem-you/) [Harriet Lerner](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/harriet-lerner/) > [It is an act of courage to acknowledge our own uncertainty and sit with it for a while.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/harriet-lerner/it-is-an-act-of-courage-to-acknowledge-our-own-uncertainty-and-sit/) [Harriet Lerner](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/harriet-lerner/) > [Silence can pose a greater threat than the difficult truth.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/harriet-lerner/silence-can-pose-a-greater-threat-than-the-difficult-truth/) [Harriet Lerner](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/harriet-lerner/) > [Nothing you say can ensure that the other person will get it, or respond the way you want. You may never exceed his threshold…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/harriet-lerner/nothing-you-say-can-ensure-that-the-other-person-will-get-it-or/) [Harriet Lerner](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/harriet-lerner/) > [If you exchanged wedding vows, tape them to your bathroom mirror and read them aloud to yourself every morning along with the ritual brushing…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/harriet-lerner/if-you-exchanged-wedding-vows-tape-them-to-your-bathroom-mirror-and/) [Harriet Lerner](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/harriet-lerner/) > [Kids want nothing more than for all the important adults in their life to get along.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/harriet-lerner/kids-want-nothing-more-than-for-all-the-important-adults-in-their/) [Harriet Lerner](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/harriet-lerner/) > [“People's sense of self worth is pivotal to their ability to look clearly at the hurt they've caused. The more solid one's sense of…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/harriet-lerner/people-s-sense-of-self-worth-is-pivotal-to-their-ability-to-look/) [Harriet Lerner](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/harriet-lerner/) > [Being able to make a sincere apology - one that says, "Yes, I get it; I screwed up. Your feelings make sense, and I'm…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/harriet-lerner/being-able-to-make-a-sincere-apology-one-that-says-yes-i-get-it-i/) [Harriet Lerner](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/harriet-lerner/) > [“Everyone freaks out. Sometimes the best we can do with fear is befriend it. Expect it and understand that fear will always reappear. Eventually…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/harriet-lerner/everyone-freaks-out-sometimes-the-best-we-can-do-with-fear-is/) [Harriet Lerner](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/harriet-lerner/) > [The bolder and more courageous you are, the more you will learn about yourself.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/harriet-lerner/the-bolder-and-more-courageous-you-are-the-more-you-will-learn-about/) [Harriet Lerner](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/harriet-lerner/) > [Underground issues from one relationship or context invariably fuel our fires in another.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/harriet-lerner/underground-issues-from-one-relationship-or-context-invariably-fuel/) [Harriet Lerner](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/harriet-lerner/) > [There are some things for which there is no apology, and on the question of slavery, there is no adequate apology for ripping people…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/harriet-lerner/there-are-some-things-for-which-there-is-no-apology-and-on-the/) [Harriet Lerner](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/harriet-lerner/) > [Don't count on the power of your love or your nagging to create something that wasn't there to begin with.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/harriet-lerner/don-t-count-on-the-power-of-your-love-or-your-nagging-to-create/) [Harriet Lerner](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/harriet-lerner/) > [If we only listened with the same passion that we feel about being heard.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/harriet-lerner/if-we-only-listened-with-the-same-passion-that-we-feel-about-being/) [Harriet Lerner](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/harriet-lerner/) [Explore all 113 Harriet Lerner quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/harriet-lerner/) ## More Bitterness quotes > [You should be angry. You must not be bitter. Bitterness is like cancer. It eats upon the host. It doesn't do anything to the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/maya-angelou/you-should-be-angry-you-must-not-be-bitter-bitterness-is-like-cancer/) [Maya Angelou](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/maya-angelou/) > [If Japanese tea 'stands,' it acquires a coarse bitterness and an unwholesome astringency. Milk and sugar are not used.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/isabella-bird/if-japanese-tea-stands-it-acquires-a-coarse-bitterness-and-an/) [Isabella Bird](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/isabella-bird/) > [Stronger than alcohol, vaster than poetry, Ferment the freckled red bitterness of love!](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/arthur-rimbaud/stronger-than-alcohol-vaster-than-poetry-ferment-the-freckled-red/) [Arthur Rimbaud](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/arthur-rimbaud/) > [“What?" I ask. I try not to get snappy with her. She hasn't really done anything wrong. Falling in love with Turner isn't a…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/c-m-stunich/what-i-ask-i-try-not-to-get-snappy-with-her-she-hasn-t-really-done/) [C.M. Stunich](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/c-m-stunich/) > [“The fairest things have fleetest end, Their scent survives their close: But the rose’s scent is bitterness To him that loved the rose. —Francis…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ann-rule/the-fairest-things-have-fleetest-end-their-scent-survives-their-close/) [Ann Rule](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ann-rule/) > [Life appears to me too short to be spent in nursing animosity, or registering wrongs. With this creed, revenge never worries my heart, degradation…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/charlotte-bronte/life-appears-to-me-too-short-to-be-spent-in-nursing-animosity-or/) [Charlotte Bronte](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/charlotte-bronte/) > [“No," I say. "I didn't know that," and as I say it I feel flooded with bitterness at all the things Ingrid kept secret…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nina-lacour/no-i-say-i-didn-t-know-that-and-as-i-say-it-i-feel-flooded-with/) [Nina LaCour](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nina-lacour/) > [Forgiving someone who've done you wrong or didn't treat you right could mean that you are allowing yourself to end up away from bitterness.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/april-t-pascua/forgiving-someone-who-ve-done-you-wrong-or-didn-t-treat-you-right/) [April T Pascua](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/april-t-pascua/) > [You cannot be inspired if you are surrounded with negativity, open the door and step into the inspirational garden of nature. Do not let…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kemmy-nola/you-cannot-be-inspired-if-you-are-surrounded-with-negativity-open-the/) [Kemmy Nola](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kemmy-nola/) > [It's not the load that breaks you down, it's the way you carry it. Carry it by the comfortable handles of gratitude for what's…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lena-horne/it-s-not-the-load-that-breaks-you-down-it-s-the-way-you-carry-it/) [Lena Horne](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lena-horne/) > [Not forgiving prolongs hurt and anger and leads to smoldering resentment, which will make us miserable until it kills us. Resentment destroys the perception…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/richard-walters/not-forgiving-prolongs-hurt-and-anger-and-leads-to-smoldering/) [Richard Walters](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/richard-walters/) > [Let us not give in to pessimism, to that bitterness that the devil offers us every day.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/pope-francis/let-us-not-give-in-to-pessimism-to-that-bitterness-that-the-devil/) [Pope Francis](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/pope-francis/) > [“Sometimes it is good to remind ourselves how bitterness tastes.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/rin-chupeco/sometimes-it-is-good-to-remind-ourselves-how-bitterness-tastes/) [Rin Chupeco](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/rin-chupeco/) > [What folly made young people, even those in middle age, think they were immortal? How much better, their lives, if they could remember the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/rohinton-mistry/what-folly-made-young-people-even-those-in-middle-age-think-they-were/) [Rohinton Mistry](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/rohinton-mistry/) > [Be sure there is something waiting for you after much patience, to astonish you to a degree, that you forget the bitterness of the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ritu-ghatourey/be-sure-there-is-something-waiting-for-you-after-much-patience-to/) [Ritu Ghatourey](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ritu-ghatourey/) [Browse all 1,210 Bitterness quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/bitterness/) ```json { "@context": "https://schema.org", "@graph": [ { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "Every time I open Facebook, I see a post with something like, \"We must forgive or be prisoners of our own bitterness and hate.\" People think that forgiveness is all-or-nothing, but this myth hurts people. You can forgive 10, 97, or 14 percent. Forgiveness is complicated.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Harriet Lerner" }, "isPartOf": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/harriet-lerner/every-time-i-open-facebook-i-see-a-post-with-something-like-we-must/", "about": { "@type": "Thing", "name": "Bitterness" }, "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/harriet-lerner/every-time-i-open-facebook-i-see-a-post-with-something-like-we-must/#quotation", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/c33/harriet-lerner-4248_bitterness_every-time-i-open-facebook-i-see-a-post_751974.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/c33/harriet-lerner-4248_bitterness_every-time-i-open-facebook-i-see-a-post_751974.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/c33/harriet-lerner-4248_bitterness_every-time-i-open-facebook-i-see-a-post_751974.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“Every time I open Facebook, I see a post with something like, \"We must forgive or be prisoners of our own…” — Harriet Lerner", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } }, { "@type": "BreadcrumbList", "itemListElement": [ { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 1, "name": "Home", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/" }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 2, "name": "Quotes", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/" }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 3, "name": "Harriet Lerner", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/harriet-lerner/" }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 4, "name": "Every time I open Facebook, I...", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/harriet-lerner/every-time-i-open-facebook-i-see-a-post-with-something-like-we-must/" } ], "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/harriet-lerner/every-time-i-open-facebook-i-see-a-post-with-something-like-we-must/#breadcrumb" }, { "@type": "WebSite", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website", "name": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/", "publisher": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } }, { "@type": "Organization", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization", "name": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/", "logo": { "@type": "ImageObject", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wp-content/themes/sq/assets/icons/icon-512.png", "width": 512, "height": 512 } } ] } ```