--- title: "Meaning & Key Takeaway of: Our society puts too much emphasis on…" description: "\"Our society puts too much emphasis on finding someone who will love you; our culture focuses too much on being loved and not enough on being a loving p..." image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/061/harold-s-kushner-4877_being-loved_our-society-puts-too-much-emphasis-on-fi_2337603.png" --- # Our society puts too much emphasis on finding someone who… ![“Our society puts too much emphasis on finding someone who will love you; our culture focuses too much on being loved and not enough on being a loving person.” quote by Harold S. Kushner](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/061/harold-s-kushner-4877_being-loved_our-society-puts-too-much-emphasis-on-fi_2337603.png) [Download](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/061/harold-s-kushner-4877_being-loved_our-society-puts-too-much-emphasis-on-fi_2337603.png) [Open image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/061/harold-s-kushner-4877_being-loved_our-society-puts-too-much-emphasis-on-fi_2337603.png) > “Our society puts too much emphasis on finding someone who will love you; our culture focuses too much on being loved and not enough on being a loving person.” [Harold S. Kushner](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/harold-s-kushner/) ## About This Quote This interpretation was drafted with AI assistance. It is one reading of the quote, not the author's own explanation. Society overvalues being loved rather than loving, leading to selfish expectations. **In simple terms:** Being loved is over‑emphasized Key Takeaway Cultivate love‑giving, not just love‑receiving Themes love self‑lessness culture Mood thoughtful hopeful Type philosophical inspirational When to use this quote - relationships - dating - parenting - community building Key Concepts reciprocity self‑worth Questions to Reflect On - How can we shift focus to giving love? - What obstacles prevent loving others fully? A Different Perspective Love can be conditional and fleeting ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ No ratings yet [Being loved](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/being-loved/) [Culture](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/culture/) [Finding love](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/finding-love/) [Love](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/love/) [Our society](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/our-society/) ## Related quotes > [“a culture that focuses too heavily on solutions becomes a culture of advocacy, dampening inquiry. If you’re always expected to have an answer ready,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/adam-m-grant/a-culture-that-focuses-too-heavily-on-solutions-becomes-a-culture-of/) [Adam M. Grant](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/adam-m-grant/) > [I would ask every man and every woman who's had the blessing of having children, 'Would you deny your son or your daughter the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/maya-angelou/i-would-ask-every-man-and-every-woman-who-s-had-the-blessing-of/) [Maya Angelou](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/maya-angelou/) > [“This is a fast love culture, where people fall in and out of something so sacred you wonder if it has the same meaning…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/tarryn-fisher/this-is-a-fast-love-culture-where-people-fall-in-and-out-of-something/) [Tarryn Fisher](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/tarryn-fisher/) > [I've loved Japanese culture for a long, long time, from doing martial arts, to the block prints, to the music. It's a country that…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alexandre-desplat/i-ve-loved-japanese-culture-for-a-long-long-time-from-doing-martial/) [Alexandre Desplat](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alexandre-desplat/) > [N.Y. is definitely one of my favorites. Love the culture, people, attitude and music, art, and fashion.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/cl/n-y-is-definitely-one-of-my-favorites-love-the-culture-people/) CL > [“Love has no culture, boundaries, race and religion. It is pure and beautiful like early morning sunrise falling in lake.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/santosh-kalwar/love-has-no-culture-boundaries-race-and-religion-it-is-pure-and/) [Santosh Kalwar](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/santosh-kalwar/) > [“Such men will never know the added love of their culture which comes from a knowledge of other ways of life.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ruth-benedict/such-men-will-never-know-the-added-love-of-their-culture-which-comes/) [Ruth Benedict](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ruth-benedict/) > [If it is true that love is the pursuit in another of qualities we lack in ourselves, then in our love of someone from…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alain-de-botton/if-it-is-true-that-love-is-the-pursuit-in-another-of-qualities-we/) [Alain de Botton](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alain-de-botton/) > [My formative years were not spent in Hyderabad, so I can only understand Telugu, but I love the culture.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/aditi-rao-hydari/my-formative-years-were-not-spent-in-hyderabad-so-i-can-only/) [Aditi Rao Hydari](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/aditi-rao-hydari/) > [I love my culture.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ruben-gallego/i-love-my-culture/) [Ruben Gallego](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ruben-gallego/) > [I really love the culture of hip-hop.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nipsey-hussle/i-really-love-the-culture-of-hip-hop/) [Nipsey Hussle](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nipsey-hussle/) > [I just love the culture of Melbourne.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/yvonne-strahovski/i-just-love-the-culture-of-melbourne/) [Yvonne Strahovski](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/yvonne-strahovski/) > [I was just a kid in love with hip hop music. I love music. I love the culture. I wanted to be a part…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/troy-carter/i-was-just-a-kid-in-love-with-hip-hop-music-i-love-music-i-love-the/) [Troy Carter](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/troy-carter/) > [I'm sad because I want to bow out of my race and leave my beautiful identity? Chinese love Chinese. They love their little slant…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/muhammad-ali/i-m-sad-because-i-want-to-bow-out-of-my-race-and-leave-my-beautiful/) [Muhammad Ali](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/muhammad-ali/) > [People love culture and authenticity.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bebe-zahara-benet/people-love-culture-and-authenticity/) [BeBe Zahara Benet](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bebe-zahara-benet/) ## More by Harold S. Kushner > [When a mentally retarded child is born, the religious question we often ask is, "Why does God let this happen?" The better question to…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/harold-s-kushner/when-a-mentally-retarded-child-is-born-the-religious-question-we/) [Harold S. Kushner](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/harold-s-kushner/) > [Seek something outside your nine-to-five job as an additional source of fulfillment and as a way to feel the joy of helping others.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/harold-s-kushner/seek-something-outside-your-nine-to-five-job-as-an-additional-source/) [Harold S. Kushner](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/harold-s-kushner/) > [But at the end, if we are brave enough to love, if we are strong enough to forgive, if we are generous enough to…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/harold-s-kushner/but-at-the-end-if-we-are-brave-enough-to-love-if-we-are-strong-enough/) [Harold S. Kushner](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/harold-s-kushner/) > [Life is like the baseball season, where even the best team loses at least a third of its games, and even the worst team…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/harold-s-kushner/life-is-like-the-baseball-season-where-even-the-best-team-loses-at/) [Harold S. Kushner](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/harold-s-kushner/) > [The circumstances of your life have uniquely qualified you to make a contribution. And if you don't make that contribution, nobody else can make…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/harold-s-kushner/the-circumstances-of-your-life-have-uniquely-qualified-you-to-make-a/) [Harold S. Kushner](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/harold-s-kushner/) > [None of us has the power to make someone else love us. But we all have the power to give away love, to love…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/harold-s-kushner/none-of-us-has-the-power-to-make-someone-else-love-us-but-we-all-have/) [Harold S. Kushner](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/harold-s-kushner/) > [We teach children how to measure and how to weigh. We fail to teach them how to revere, how to sense wonder and awe.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/harold-s-kushner/we-teach-children-how-to-measure-and-how-to-weigh-we-fail-to-teach/) [Harold S. Kushner](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/harold-s-kushner/) > [God, who neither causes nor prevents tragedies, helps by inspiring people to help.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/harold-s-kushner/god-who-neither-causes-nor-prevents-tragedies-helps-by-inspiring/) [Harold S. Kushner](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/harold-s-kushner/) > [There seems to be something in the human soul that causes us to think less of ourselves every time we do something wrong... And…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/harold-s-kushner/there-seems-to-be-something-in-the-human-soul-that-causes-us-to-think/) [Harold S. Kushner](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/harold-s-kushner/) > [There is a Jewish notion that holiness is found with other people. To understand what life really is, one has to share it.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/harold-s-kushner/there-is-a-jewish-notion-that-holiness-is-found-with-other-people-to/) [Harold S. Kushner](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/harold-s-kushner/) > [The path to God is rarely a steady climb upward. We climb, we fall back, and we climb higher again.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/harold-s-kushner/the-path-to-god-is-rarely-a-steady-climb-upward-we-climb-we-fall-back/) [Harold S. Kushner](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/harold-s-kushner/) > [You don't have to be religious to have a soul; everybody has one. You don't have to be religious to perfect your soul; I…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/harold-s-kushner/you-don-t-have-to-be-religious-to-have-a-soul-everybody-has-one-you/) [Harold S. Kushner](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/harold-s-kushner/) > [When your life is filled with the desire to see the holiness in everyday life, something magical happens: Ordinary life becomes extraordinary, and the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/harold-s-kushner/when-your-life-is-filled-with-the-desire-to-see-the-holiness-in/) [Harold S. Kushner](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/harold-s-kushner/) > [When I talk to people who feel this emptiness and lack of fulfillment, I recommend they find a source of balance in their lives.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/harold-s-kushner/when-i-talk-to-people-who-feel-this-emptiness-and-lack-of-fulfillment/) [Harold S. Kushner](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/harold-s-kushner/) > [Forgiveness is a favor we do for ourselves, not a favor we do to the other party.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/harold-s-kushner/forgiveness-is-a-favor-we-do-for-ourselves-not-a-favor-we-do-to-the/) [Harold S. Kushner](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/harold-s-kushner/) [Explore all 105 Harold S. Kushner quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/harold-s-kushner/) ## More Being loved quotes > [I want everyone to meet you. Youre my favorite person of all time.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mercy-pheona/i-want-everyone-to-meet-you-youre-my-favorite-person-of-all-time/) [Mercy Pheona](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mercy-pheona/) > [At least with pets, and for all I know, people too, intelligence and quick-wittedness have nothing to do with a talent for being loved,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/charles-baxter/at-least-with-pets-and-for-all-i-know-people-too-intelligence-and/) [Charles Baxter](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/charles-baxter/) > [When you are in real love; you forget about any bills or problems that may have for a minute, because all that matters that…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/london-mond/when-you-are-in-real-love-you-forget-about-any-bills-or-problems-that/) [London Mond](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/london-mond/) > [He said that in a way being loved is like being told you never have to die.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/timothy-findley/he-said-that-in-a-way-being-loved-is-like-being-told-you-never-have/) [Timothy Findley](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/timothy-findley/) > [How do I love thee? Let me count the ways.I love thee to the depth and breadth and height My soul can reach, when…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/elizabeth-barrett-browning/how-do-i-love-thee-let-me-count-the-ways-i-love-thee-to-the-depth-and/) [Elizabeth Barrett Browning](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/elizabeth-barrett-browning/) > [Love is a strong emotion. We are willing to throw our lives away even if it means only being loved a little bit.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/love-is-a-strong-emotion-we-are-willing-to-throw-our-lives-away-even/) [Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/) > [There cannot be a sense of abundance or the experience of prosperity without appreciation. You cannot find beauty unless you appreciate beauty. You cannot…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/william-r-miller/there-cannot-be-a-sense-of-abundance-or-the-experience-of-prosperity/) [William R. Miller](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/william-r-miller/) > [Work is its own cure. You have to like it better than being loved.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/marge-piercy/work-is-its-own-cure-you-have-to-like-it-better-than-being-loved/) [Marge Piercy](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/marge-piercy/) > [Mature love is loving, not being loved.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/irvin-d-yalom/mature-love-is-loving-not-being-loved/) [Irvin D. Yalom](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/irvin-d-yalom/) > [I used to think being loved was the greatest thing to think about, but now I know love is never satisfied just thinking about…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bob-goff/i-used-to-think-being-loved-was-the-greatest-thing-to-think-about-but/) [Bob Goff](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bob-goff/) > [You can never love a girl who isn't being loved.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/you-can-never-love-a-girl-who-isn-t-being-loved/) [Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/) > [Love is willing self-sacrifice for the good of another that does not require reciprocation or that the person being loved is deserving](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/paul-david-tripp/love-is-willing-self-sacrifice-for-the-good-of-another-that-does-not/) [Paul David Tripp](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/paul-david-tripp/) > [But to be fully known and truly loved is, well, a lot like being loved by God.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/timothy-keller/but-to-be-fully-known-and-truly-loved-is-well-a-lot-like-being-loved/) [Timothy Keller](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/timothy-keller/) > [You cannot experience the fullness of your authentic self or life when you live to avoid hurt. You will never know the joy of…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/iyanla-vanzant/you-cannot-experience-the-fullness-of-your-authentic-self-or-life/) [Iyanla Vanzant](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/iyanla-vanzant/) > [I'm tired of living unable to love anyone. I don't have a single friend - not one. And, worst of all, I can't even…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/haruki-murakami/i-m-tired-of-living-unable-to-love-anyone-i-don-t-have-a-single/) [Haruki Murakami](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/haruki-murakami/) [Browse all 209 Being loved quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/being-loved/) ```json { "@context": "https://schema.org", "@graph": [ { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "Our society puts too much emphasis on finding someone who will love you; our culture focuses too much on being loved and not enough on being a loving person.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Harold S. 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