--- title: "Meaning & Key Takeaway of: I am startled when people are themselves…" description: "\"I am startled when people are themselves and are not my thoughts of them.\" — Harold Brodkey" image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/5d8/harold-brodkey-14369_inspirational_i-am-startled-when-people-are-themselves_787944.png" --- # I am startled when people are themselves and are not my… ![“I am startled when people are themselves and are not my thoughts of them.” quote by Harold Brodkey](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/5d8/harold-brodkey-14369_inspirational_i-am-startled-when-people-are-themselves_787944.png) [Download](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/5d8/harold-brodkey-14369_inspirational_i-am-startled-when-people-are-themselves_787944.png) [Open image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/5d8/harold-brodkey-14369_inspirational_i-am-startled-when-people-are-themselves_787944.png) > “I am startled when people are themselves and are not my thoughts of them.” [Harold Brodkey](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/harold-brodkey/) ## About This Quote This interpretation was drafted with AI assistance. It is one reading of the quote, not the author's own explanation. People are surprised when they act authentically, contrary to our expectations of them. **In simple terms:** Authenticity can shock others. Key Takeaway Accept genuine behavior. Themes authenticity perception expectations Mood conflicted thoughtful Type observational philosophical When to use this quote - personal relationships - team dynamics - leadership - cultural interactions Key Concepts psychology social identity Questions to Reflect On - How do you respond to authentic behavior? - Why do we expect others to fit our mental images? A Different Perspective People may resist when they feel their mental is challenged. ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ No ratings yet [Inspirational](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/inspirational/) [Love](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/love/) [People](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/people/) [Philosophy of Mind](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/philosophy-of-mind/) [Thoughts](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/thoughts/) ## Related quotes > [I am blessed to have so many great things in my life—family, friends and God. All will be in my thoughts daily.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lil-kim/i-am-blessed-to-have-so-many-great-things-in-my-life-family-friends/) [Lil' Kim](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lil-kim/) > [I write everything many times over. All my thoughts are second thoughts.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/aldous-huxley/i-write-everything-many-times-over-all-my-thoughts-are-second-thoughts/) [Aldous Huxley](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/aldous-huxley/) > [What are your thoughts?' 'My thoughts?' I replied, before I even realized what I was saying. 'My thoughts created my world.' Mac sat up…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/megan-mccafferty/what-are-your-thoughts-my-thoughts-i-replied-before-i-even-realized/) [Megan McCafferty](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/megan-mccafferty/) > [I'm aware of people's association with me and fashion and I certainly take that role on for some occasions, but it doesn't dominate my…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sarah-jessica-parker/i-m-aware-of-people-s-association-with-me-and-fashion-and-i-certainly/) [Sarah Jessica Parker](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sarah-jessica-parker/) > [Yes, I was infatuated with you: I am still. No one has ever heightened such a keen capacity of physical sensation in me. I…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sylvia-plath/yes-i-was-infatuated-with-you-i-am-still-no-one-has-ever-heightened/) [Sylvia Plath](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sylvia-plath/) > [What? My head doctor says I'm not supposed to censor my thoughts. It's part of my therapy.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/suzanne-collins/what-my-head-doctor-says-i-m-not-supposed-to-censor-my-thoughts-it-s/) [Suzanne Collins](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/suzanne-collins/) > [Good Morning, on July 7 My thoughts go out to you, my Immortal Beloved I can only live wholly with you or not at…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ludwig-van-beethoven/good-morning-on-july-7-my-thoughts-go-out-to-you-my-immortal-beloved/) [Ludwig van Beethoven](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ludwig-van-beethoven/) > [I wish I could close my eyes and be blown into dust and nothingness, feel all my thoughts disperse like dandelion fluff drifting off…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lauren-oliver/i-wish-i-could-close-my-eyes-and-be-blown-into-dust-and-nothingness-2/) [Lauren Oliver](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lauren-oliver/) > [My mother finally took me to a child psychologist, who knew exactly what I was, but she just couldn’t accept it and kept trying…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/charlaine-harris/my-mother-finally-took-me-to-a-child-psychologist-who-knew-exactly/) [Charlaine Harris](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/charlaine-harris/) > [“I want to see children curled up with books, finding an awareness of themselves as they discover other people's thoughts.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/patricia-reilly-giff/i-want-to-see-children-curled-up-with-books-finding-an-awareness-of/) [Patricia Reilly Giff](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/patricia-reilly-giff/) > [People who have thoughts like mine can never go back. 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People's ideas cross with other people's thoughts.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/biz-stone/there-s-a-lot-of-social-input-when-you-put-these-things-out-there/) [Biz Stone](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/biz-stone/) > [I do music to tell people my thoughts and opinions about life, emotions, politics, everything.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/benjamin-clementine/i-do-music-to-tell-people-my-thoughts-and-opinions-about-life/) [Benjamin Clementine](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/benjamin-clementine/) ## More by Harold Brodkey > [Being ill like this combines shock - this time I will die - with a pain and agony that are unfamiliar, that wrench me…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/harold-brodkey/being-ill-like-this-combines-shock-this-time-i-will-die-with-a-pain/) [Harold Brodkey](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/harold-brodkey/) > [“I figured I had kept her from being too depressed after fucking--it's hard for a girl with any force in her and any brains…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/harold-brodkey/i-figured-i-had-kept-her-from-being-too-depressed-after-fucking-it-s/) [Harold Brodkey](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/harold-brodkey/) > [I was always crazy about New York, dependent on it, scared of it - well, it is dangerous - but beyond that there was…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/harold-brodkey/i-was-always-crazy-about-new-york-dependent-on-it-scared-of-it-well/) [Harold Brodkey](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/harold-brodkey/) > [In our opposed forms of loneliness and self-recognition and recognition of the other, we touched each other often as we spoke; and on shore…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/harold-brodkey/in-our-opposed-forms-of-loneliness-and-self-recognition-and/) [Harold Brodkey](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/harold-brodkey/) > [It is death that goes down to the center of the earth, the great burial church the earth is, and then to the curved…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/harold-brodkey/it-is-death-that-goes-down-to-the-center-of-the-earth-the-great/) [Harold Brodkey](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/harold-brodkey/) > [“Reading is an intimate act, perhaps more intimate than any other human act. I say that because of the prolonged (or intense) exposure of…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/harold-brodkey/reading-is-an-intimate-act-perhaps-more-intimate-than-any-other-human/) [Harold Brodkey](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/harold-brodkey/) > [“There is a certain shade of red brick--a dark, almost melodious red, sombre and riddled with blue--that is my childhood in St.Louis. Not the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/harold-brodkey/there-is-a-certain-shade-of-red-brick-a-dark-almost-melodious-red/) [Harold Brodkey](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/harold-brodkey/) > [I'm sixty-two, and it's ecological sense to die while you're still productive, die and clear a space for others, old and young.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/harold-brodkey/i-m-sixty-two-and-it-s-ecological-sense-to-die-while-you-re-still/) [Harold Brodkey](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/harold-brodkey/) > [It is like visiting one's funeral, like visiting loss in its purest and most monumental form, this wild darkness, which is not only unknown…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/harold-brodkey/it-is-like-visiting-one-s-funeral-like-visiting-loss-in-its-purest/) [Harold Brodkey](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/harold-brodkey/) > [In New York one lives in the moment rather more than Socrates advised, so that at a party or alone in your room it…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/harold-brodkey/in-new-york-one-lives-in-the-moment-rather-more-than-socrates-advised/) [Harold Brodkey](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/harold-brodkey/) > [I have thousands of opinions still - but that is down from millions - and, as always, I know nothing.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/harold-brodkey/i-have-thousands-of-opinions-still-but-that-is-down-from-millions-and/) [Harold Brodkey](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/harold-brodkey/) > [Almost the first thing I did when I became ill was to buy a truly good television set.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/harold-brodkey/almost-the-first-thing-i-did-when-i-became-ill-was-to-buy-a-truly/) [Harold Brodkey](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/harold-brodkey/) > [You really can’t write unless you read. You have to know what the game is all about.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/harold-brodkey/you-really-can-t-write-unless-you-read-you-have-to-know-what-the-game/) [Harold Brodkey](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/harold-brodkey/) > [I often thought men stank of rage; it is why I preferred women, and homosexuals.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/harold-brodkey/i-often-thought-men-stank-of-rage-it-is-why-i-preferred-women-and/) [Harold Brodkey](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/harold-brodkey/) > [I have the sense that if I push too hard or too far into memory I’ll come apart.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/harold-brodkey/i-have-the-sense-that-if-i-push-too-hard-or-too-far-into-memory-i-ll/) [Harold Brodkey](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/harold-brodkey/) [Explore all 47 Harold Brodkey quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/harold-brodkey/) ## More Inspirational quotes > [Life is full of change. That's how we learn and grow.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/life-is-full-of-change-that-s-how-we-learn-and-grow/) [Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/) > [We talk to God--that is prayer; God talks to us--that is inspiration.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/h-emilie-cady/we-talk-to-god-that-is-prayer-god-talks-to-us-that-is-inspiration/) [H. Emilie Cady](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/h-emilie-cady/) > [You cant be controlling in improv.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/matt-walsh/you-cant-be-controlling-in-improv/) [Matt Walsh](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/matt-walsh/) > [The man who can master his time can master nearly anything.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/winston-churchill/the-man-who-can-master-his-time-can-master-nearly-anything/) [Winston Churchill](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/winston-churchill/) > [You'll seldom experience regret for anything that you've done. It is what you haven't done that will torment you. The message, therefore, is clear.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/you-ll-seldom-experience-regret-for-anything-that-you-ve-done-it-is/) [Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/) > [Just understand that the good that you want is already here. All you have to do is get in harmony with it. And you…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bob-proctor/just-understand-that-the-good-that-you-want-is-already-here-all-you/) [Bob Proctor](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bob-proctor/) > [“If you want to build a ship, don’t drum up the men to gather wood, divide the work, and give orders. Instead, teach them…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/antoine-de-saint-exup-ry/if-you-want-to-build-a-ship-don-t-drum-up-the-men-to-gather-wood/) [Antoine de Saint-Exupéry](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/antoine-de-saint-exup-ry/) > [Obviously, if you don't love life, you can't enjoy an oyster.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/eleanor-clark/obviously-if-you-don-t-love-life-you-can-t-enjoy-an-oyster/) [Eleanor Clark](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/eleanor-clark/) > [It's not the method, it's the mindset.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/andy-gilbert/it-s-not-the-method-it-s-the-mindset/) [Andy Gilbert](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/andy-gilbert/) > [It's a hard thing to describe. It's just this sense that you got something to say.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jonah-lehrer/it-s-a-hard-thing-to-describe-it-s-just-this-sense-that-you-got/) [Jonah Lehrer](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jonah-lehrer/) > [Too much familiarity breeds contempt.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/vikrant-parsai/too-much-familiarity-breeds-contempt/) [Vikrant Parsai](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/vikrant-parsai/) > [We never really perceive what color is physically!](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/josef-albers/we-never-really-perceive-what-color-is-physically/) [Josef Albers](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/josef-albers/) > [Politics is not an issue whether you like or dislike , but every citizen must involve.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/khem-veasna/politics-is-not-an-issue-whether-you-like-or-dislike-but-every/) [Khem Veasna](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/khem-veasna/) > [God reveals Himself through surprises.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/pope-francis/god-reveals-himself-through-surprises/) [Pope Francis](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/pope-francis/) > [Never underestimate the power of the human mind to believe what it wants to believe, no matter the conflicting evidence.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/brian-herbert/never-underestimate-the-power-of-the-human-mind-to-believe-what-it/) [Brian Herbert](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/brian-herbert/) [Browse all 114,561 Inspirational quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/inspirational/) ```json { "@context": "https://schema.org", "@graph": [ { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "I am startled when people are themselves and are not my thoughts of them.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Harold Brodkey" }, "isPartOf": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/harold-brodkey/i-am-startled-when-people-are-themselves-and-are-not-my-thoughts-of/", "about": { "@type": "Thing", "name": "Inspirational" }, "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/harold-brodkey/i-am-startled-when-people-are-themselves-and-are-not-my-thoughts-of/#quotation", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/5d8/harold-brodkey-14369_inspirational_i-am-startled-when-people-are-themselves_787944.png", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/5d8/harold-brodkey-14369_inspirational_i-am-startled-when-people-are-themselves_787944.png", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/5d8/harold-brodkey-14369_inspirational_i-am-startled-when-people-are-themselves_787944.png", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“I am startled when people are themselves and are not my thoughts of them.” — Harold Brodkey", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } }, { "@type": "BreadcrumbList", "itemListElement": [ { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 1, "name": "Home", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/" }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 2, "name": "Quotes", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/" }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 3, "name": "Harold Brodkey", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/harold-brodkey/" }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 4, "name": "I am startled when people are...", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/harold-brodkey/i-am-startled-when-people-are-themselves-and-are-not-my-thoughts-of/" } ], "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/harold-brodkey/i-am-startled-when-people-are-themselves-and-are-not-my-thoughts-of/#breadcrumb" }, { "@type": "WebSite", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website", "name": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/", "publisher": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } }, { "@type": "Organization", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization", "name": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/", "logo": { "@type": "ImageObject", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wp-content/themes/sq/assets/icons/icon-512.png", "width": 512, "height": 512 } } ] } ```