--- title: "Meaning & Key Takeaway of: In the beginning, being alone is always a…" description: "\"“In the beginning, being alone is always a choice. Then it's not a choice anymore. When did it stop being a choice? What is it in me that stopped choos..." image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/4b3/gunnar-ardelius-62039_alone_in-the-beginning-being-alone-is-always-a_590615.jpg" --- # In the beginning, being alone is always a choice. Then… ![“In the beginning, being alone is always a choice. Then it's not a choice anymore. When did it stop being a choice? What is it in me that stopped choosing you, that moved into you instead so that I have to be with you in order to be with myself?” quote by Gunnar Ardelius](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/4b3/gunnar-ardelius-62039_alone_in-the-beginning-being-alone-is-always-a_590615.jpg) [Download](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/4b3/gunnar-ardelius-62039_alone_in-the-beginning-being-alone-is-always-a_590615.jpg) [Open image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/4b3/gunnar-ardelius-62039_alone_in-the-beginning-being-alone-is-always-a_590615.jpg) > ““In the beginning, being alone is always a choice. Then it's not a choice anymore. When did it stop being a choice? What is it in me that stopped choosing you, that moved into you instead so that I have to be with you in order to be with myself?”” [Gunnar Ardelius](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/gunnar-ardelius/) ## About This Quote This interpretation was drafted with AI assistance. It is one reading of the quote, not the author's own explanation. The quote reflects on how initial solitude is a deliberate decision, but over time relationships become involuntary, blurring personal identity and dependence. **In simple terms:** Alone is a choice at first, later it feels forced. Key Takeaway Recognize when autonomy shifts to dependency. Themes identity relationships autonomy dependence selfhood Mood reflective melancholic Type philosophical introspective When to use this quote - romantic partnership - family caregiving - friendship dynamics - cohabitation decisions Key Concepts psychology existentialism attachment theory Questions to Reflect On - When did you feel your independence fade? - How can you maintain selfhood while connecting? A Different Perspective It may overlook the agency individuals retain within relationships. ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ No ratings yet [Alone](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/alone/) [Choice](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/choice/) [Choice Anymore](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/choice-anymore-660010/) [Choice Choice](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/choice-choice/) [Choice Stopped](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/choice-stopped-4834429/) [Romance](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/romance/) [Stopped Choosing](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/stopped-choosing-4834430/) ## Related quotes > [I don't want to be your second choice anymore. If I'm not your first choice, then just turn around & walk away now. I'm…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nishan-panwar/i-don-t-want-to-be-your-second-choice-anymore-if-i-m-not-your-first/) [Nishan Panwar](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nishan-panwar/) > [Im not gonna be your second choice anymore, its either now or never.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/im-not-gonna-be-your-second-choice-anymore-its-either-now-or-never/) [Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/) > [Leadership is a choice. It's the choice not to do nothing.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/seth-godin/leadership-is-a-choice-it-s-the-choice-not-to-do-nothing/) [Seth Godin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/seth-godin/) > [“There is always a choice to be had, you even have the choice to choose it.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/travis-besecker/there-is-always-a-choice-to-be-had-you-even-have-the-choice-to-choose/) [Travis Besecker](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/travis-besecker/) > [“You can walk on the shady side of a mountain or on the sunny side! The choice is yours! And the same choice applies…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mehmet-murat-ildan/you-can-walk-on-the-shady-side-of-a-mountain-or-on-the-sunny-side-the/) [Mehmet Murat ildan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mehmet-murat-ildan/) > [Every time you're making a choice, one choice is the safe/comfortable choice - and one choice is the risky/uncomfortable choice. the risky/uncomfortable choice is…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/derek-sivers/every-time-you-re-making-a-choice-one-choice-is-the-safe-comfortable/) [Derek Sivers](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/derek-sivers/) > [“We all have choices. What are you choosing to believe about yourself, and about your life Believing you don't have a choice is a…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/scott-stabile/we-all-have-choices-what-are-you-choosing-to-believe-about-yourself/) [Scott Stabile](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/scott-stabile/) > [“I don’t!” I said. “I don’t care what she thinks!” “Of course you do. Why else would you be angry?” I couldn’t think of…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/catherine-m-wilson/i-don-t-i-said-i-don-t-care-what-she-thinks-of-course-you-do-why-else/) [Catherine M. Wilson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/catherine-m-wilson/) > [“That is what love is. A possibility that becomes a choice. A choice you keep making, over and over. Day after day. Year after…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/cameron-dokey/that-is-what-love-is-a-possibility-that-becomes-a-choice-a-choice-you/) [Cameron Dokey](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/cameron-dokey/) > [I've made mistakes, and I know why I made them, but I made that choice. Nobody's ever made a choice for me.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sandra-bullock/i-ve-made-mistakes-and-i-know-why-i-made-them-but-i-made-that-choice/) [Sandra Bullock](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sandra-bullock/) > [“She cried, 'No choice! No choice!' She doesn't know. If she doesn't speak, she is making a choice. If she doesn't try, she can…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/amy-tan/she-cried-no-choice-no-choice-she-doesn-t-know-if-she-doesn-t-speak/) [Amy Tan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/amy-tan/) > [Marriage should not be a goal; it should be a choice. One choice available out of many recognized as valid by society. But it…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/david-mcgee/marriage-should-not-be-a-goal-it-should-be-a-choice-one-choice/) [David McGee](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/david-mcgee/) > [We often feel paralyzed by choice and make no choice. But the thing is, no choice is a choice. If you’re not doing something…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/chris-guillebeau/we-often-feel-paralyzed-by-choice-and-make-no-choice-but-the-thing-is/) [Chris Guillebeau](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/chris-guillebeau/) > [But now I wonder--what if everyone is pretty much the same and it's just a thousand small choices that add up to the person…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/holly-black/but-now-i-wonder-what-if-everyone-is-pretty-much-the-same-and-it-s/) [Holly Black](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/holly-black/) > [To be free, the workers must have choice. To have choice they must retain in their own hands the right to determine under what…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/samuel-gompers/to-be-free-the-workers-must-have-choice-to-have-choice-they-must/) [Samuel Gompers](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/samuel-gompers/) ## More by Gunnar Ardelius > [“It frightens me that I can't do anything sensible about it." "Are you scared that you'll wind up with a boring job where you…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gunnar-ardelius/it-frightens-me-that-i-can-t-do-anything-sensible-about-it-are-you/) [Gunnar Ardelius](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/gunnar-ardelius/) > [“I don't think every person is unique. If every person is unique, then unique is a completely unneccessary word." "Don't you think that every…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gunnar-ardelius/i-don-t-think-every-person-is-unique-if-every-person-is-unique-then/) [Gunnar Ardelius](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/gunnar-ardelius/) > [“Tonight we're going to listen to this." She skips ahead to "Mute Witness" and hits repeat. "What we do tonight will be stored in…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gunnar-ardelius/tonight-we-re-going-to-listen-to-this-she-skips-ahead-to-mute-witness/) [Gunnar Ardelius](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/gunnar-ardelius/) [Explore all 4 Gunnar Ardelius quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/gunnar-ardelius/) ## More Alone quotes > [I can be taken away from myself quite easily, I kind of start betraying myself and compromising my integrity, to keep someone else happy.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/aimee-lou-wood/i-can-be-taken-away-from-myself-quite-easily-i-kind-of-start/) [Aimee Lou Wood](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/aimee-lou-wood/) > [Perhaps our own opposition to even the level of European integration we have now, let alone any more, is well known.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nigel-farage/perhaps-our-own-opposition-to-even-the-level-of-european-integration/) [Nigel Farage](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nigel-farage/) > [If your goal is to look different, you'll see results faster with strength training than with cardio alone.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anna-kaiser/if-your-goal-is-to-look-different-you-ll-see-results-faster-with/) [Anna Kaiser](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anna-kaiser/) > [With my songs, the question is always, 'Can you pull it off live, alone on just an acoustic guitar?' That's the litmus test. If…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/shawn-colvin/with-my-songs-the-question-is-always-can-you-pull-it-off-live-alone/) [Shawn Colvin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/shawn-colvin/) > [I should have liked to get married, but over many decades I have lived essentially alone. I go to sleep when I'm tired, get…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/felix-dennis/i-should-have-liked-to-get-married-but-over-many-decades-i-have-lived/) [Felix Dennis](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/felix-dennis/) > [I am not alone in that I've had times of unemployment - unemployment is huge amongst disabled people.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/rosie-jones/i-am-not-alone-in-that-i-ve-had-times-of-unemployment-unemployment-is/) [Rosie Jones](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/rosie-jones/) > [I never knew a heart could feel so cold so empty so broken until now , I don't know what to say I don't…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/i-never-knew-a-heart-could-feel-so-cold-so-empty-so-broken-until-now/) [Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/) > [If you're disabled or different from what general society deems normal, it's fine. There will always be people who won't accept you, but there…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/millicent-simmonds/if-you-re-disabled-or-different-from-what-general-society-deems/) [Millicent Simmonds](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/millicent-simmonds/) > [Real love is a permanently self-enlarging experience…A Journey With My Girl](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/luckybannu/real-love-is-a-permanently-self-enlarging-experience-a-journey-with/) [Luckybannu](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/luckybannu/) > [“What I'm trying to say is that I spent the last four months learning to be alone, avoiding the world, hating pretty much anyone…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/andrea-cremer/what-i-m-trying-to-say-is-that-i-spent-the-last-four-months-learning/) [Andrea Cremer](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/andrea-cremer/) > [I'm used to being alone in a quiet, isolated environment - I'm kind of a low-energy, low-vibration, low-stamina person to begin with - so…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ethel-cain/i-m-used-to-being-alone-in-a-quiet-isolated-environment-i-m-kind-of-a/) [Ethel Cain](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ethel-cain/) > [“When I look back at myself at age twenty, what I remember most is being alone and lonely. I had no girlfriend to warm…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/haruki-murakami/when-i-look-back-at-myself-at-age-twenty-what-i-remember-most-is/) [Haruki Murakami](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/haruki-murakami/) > [I have developed a nasty habit of losing to the guy who wins the tournament, and that alone makes you think what you could…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/neil-robertson/i-have-developed-a-nasty-habit-of-losing-to-the-guy-who-wins-the/) [Neil Robertson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/neil-robertson/) > [As a child, I was this record collector/listener that would sit in a room and listen to the entire Beatles catalog alone, over and…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/chris-cornell/as-a-child-i-was-this-record-collector-listener-that-would-sit-in-a/) [Chris Cornell](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/chris-cornell/) > [How one hates to think of oneself as alone. How one avoids it. It seems to imply rejection or unpopularity.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anne-morrow-lindbergh/how-one-hates-to-think-of-oneself-as-alone-how-one-avoids-it-it-seems/) [Anne Morrow Lindbergh](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anne-morrow-lindbergh/) [Browse all 3,082 Alone quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/alone/) ```json { "@context": "https://schema.org", "@graph": [ { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "“In the beginning, being alone is always a choice. Then it's not a choice anymore. When did it stop being a choice? What is it in me that stopped choosing you, that moved into you instead so that I have to be with you in order to be with myself?”", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Gunnar Ardelius" }, "isPartOf": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gunnar-ardelius/in-the-beginning-being-alone-is-always-a-choice-then-it-s-not-a/", "about": { "@type": "Thing", "name": "Alone" }, "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gunnar-ardelius/in-the-beginning-being-alone-is-always-a-choice-then-it-s-not-a/#quotation", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/4b3/gunnar-ardelius-62039_alone_in-the-beginning-being-alone-is-always-a_590615.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/4b3/gunnar-ardelius-62039_alone_in-the-beginning-being-alone-is-always-a_590615.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/4b3/gunnar-ardelius-62039_alone_in-the-beginning-being-alone-is-always-a_590615.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“In the beginning, being alone is always a choice. Then it's not a choice anymore. When did it stop being a…” — Gunnar Ardelius", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } }, { "@type": "BreadcrumbList", "itemListElement": [ { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 1, "name": "Home", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/" }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 2, "name": "Quotes", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/" }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 3, "name": "Gunnar Ardelius", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/gunnar-ardelius/" }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 4, "name": "“In the beginning, being alone is...", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gunnar-ardelius/in-the-beginning-being-alone-is-always-a-choice-then-it-s-not-a/" } ], "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gunnar-ardelius/in-the-beginning-being-alone-is-always-a-choice-then-it-s-not-a/#breadcrumb" }, { "@type": "WebSite", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website", "name": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/", "publisher": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } }, { "@type": "Organization", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization", "name": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/", "logo": { "@type": "ImageObject", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wp-content/themes/sq/assets/icons/icon-512.png", "width": 512, "height": 512 } } ] } ```