---
title: "Meaning & Key Takeaway of: I was surprised to learn from my…"
description: "\"“I was surprised to learn from my research, however, that the well-known notion of anger catharsis is poppycock. There’s no evidence for the belief tha..."
image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/895/gretchen-rubin-867_anger_i-was-surprised-to-learn-from-my-researc_1820931.png"
---

#  I was surprised to learn from my research, however, that…

![“I was surprised to learn from my research, however, that the well-known notion of anger catharsis is poppycock. There’s no evidence for the belief that “letting off steam” is healthy or constructive. In fact, studies show that aggressively expressing anger doesn’t relieve anger but amplifies it…” quote by Gretchen Rubin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/895/gretchen-rubin-867_anger_i-was-surprised-to-learn-from-my-researc_1820931.png)   [Download](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/895/gretchen-rubin-867_anger_i-was-surprised-to-learn-from-my-researc_1820931.png) [Open image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/895/gretchen-rubin-867_anger_i-was-surprised-to-learn-from-my-researc_1820931.png)

> ““I was surprised to learn from my research, however, that the well-known notion of anger catharsis is poppycock. There’s no evidence for the belief that “letting off steam” is healthy or constructive. In fact, studies show that aggressively expressing anger doesn’t relieve anger but amplifies it. On the other hand, not expressing anger often allows it to disappear without leaving ugly traces.””

[Gretchen Rubin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/gretchen-rubin/)

## About This Quote

This interpretation was drafted with AI assistance. It is one reading of the quote, not the author's own explanation.

Research shows expressing anger aggressively worsens it; suppressing it often lets it fade without harm.

**In simple terms:** Letting off steam isn’t helpful; suppression can be better.

Key Takeaway

Consider healthier ways to manage anger.

Themes

psychology emotion health self‑control

Mood

reflective thoughtful

Type

self‑help educational

When to use this quote

- personal relationships
- workplace
- therapy
- mindfulness practices

Key Concepts

catharsis myth emotional regulation stress management

Questions to Reflect On

- What strategies help you release tension without aggression?
- When is it appropriate to express anger openly?

A Different Perspective

Some situations may require constructive expression rather than suppression.

★ ★ ★ ★ ★   No ratings yet

[Anger](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/anger/) [Education](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/education/) [Expressing anger](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/expressing-anger/)

## Related quotes

> [Studies show that aggressively expressing anger doesn't relieve anger but amplifies it. On the other hand, not expressing anger often allows it to disappear…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gretchen-rubin/studies-show-that-aggressively-expressing-anger-doesn-t-relieve-anger/)

[Gretchen Rubin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/gretchen-rubin/)

> [I couldn't carry on straight after doing 'Mother,' it was really hard. Getting my anger out was a catharsis but it was also selfish…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/goldie/i-couldn-t-carry-on-straight-after-doing-mother-it-was-really-hard/)

[Goldie](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/goldie/)

> [Being Angry, and trying to relieve your anger by saying angry things only makes you more angry until this is all you know how…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ritu-ghatourey/being-angry-and-trying-to-relieve-your-anger-by-saying-angry-things/)

[Ritu Ghatourey](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ritu-ghatourey/)

> [My tendency to internalize emotion is probably why I'm an actor. I'm comfortable performing angrily but have such difficulty expressing anger in my life.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dylan-gelulla/my-tendency-to-internalize-emotion-is-probably-why-i-m-an-actor-i-m/)

Dylan Gelulla

> [Expressing anger is necessary.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jenny-holzer/expressing-anger-is-necessary/)

[Jenny Holzer](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jenny-holzer/)

> [When I was younger, I was terrified to express anger because it would often kick-start a horrible reaction in the men in my life.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alanis-morissette/when-i-was-younger-i-was-terrified-to-express-anger-because-it-would/)

[Alanis Morissette](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alanis-morissette/)

> [What influenced me was Tori Amos, who was unapologetic about expressing anger through music, and Sinead O'Connor. Those two in particular were really moving…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alanis-morissette/what-influenced-me-was-tori-amos-who-was-unapologetic-about/)

[Alanis Morissette](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alanis-morissette/)

> [“Women have less direct relationship to anger...When a woman "bites" her tongue to avoid expressing anger, its not at all socialization. A lot of…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/louann-brizendine/women-have-less-direct-relationship-to-anger-when-a-woman-bites-her/)

[Louann Brizendine](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/louann-brizendine/)

> [Think of anger as a muscle. The way you express anger isn't the way that I do, or you. If you have a good…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jane-fonda/think-of-anger-as-a-muscle-the-way-you-express-anger-isn-t-the-way/)

[Jane Fonda](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jane-fonda/)

> [But one of the hardest things for me to do was to access anger. I could do it on stage. But when I did…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ellen-barkin/but-one-of-the-hardest-things-for-me-to-do-was-to-access-anger-i/)

[Ellen Barkin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ellen-barkin/)

> [When someone says that I'm angry it's actually a compliment. I have not always been direct with my anger in my relationships, which is…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alanis-morissette/when-someone-says-that-i-m-angry-it-s-actually-a-compliment-i-have/)

[Alanis Morissette](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alanis-morissette/)

> [If we wish to express anger fully, the first step is to divorce the other person from any responsibility for our anger.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/marshall-b-rosenberg/if-we-wish-to-express-anger-fully-the-first-step-is-to-divorce-the/)

[Marshall B. Rosenberg](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/marshall-b-rosenberg/)

> [“Anger is stereotypically normal for men because they are supposed to be aggressors. Women are supposed to be victims, and good victims shouldn’t become…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lisa-feldman-barrett/anger-is-stereotypically-normal-for-men-because-they-are-supposed-to/)

[Lisa Feldman Barrett](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lisa-feldman-barrett/)

> [If I see any sort of injustice, I can fight like a dog. I'm not frightened to be outspoken and I can get very…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/rosamund-pike/if-i-see-any-sort-of-injustice-i-can-fight-like-a-dog-i-m-not/)

[Rosamund Pike](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/rosamund-pike/)

> [I was never in favor of violence. I am always in favor of expressing anger, though. I am always in favor of revolt, and…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/margarethe-von-trotta/i-was-never-in-favor-of-violence-i-am-always-in-favor-of-expressing/)

Margarethe von Trotta

## More by Gretchen Rubin

> [“Second Splendid Truth One of the best ways to make yourself happy is to make other people happy. One of the best ways to…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gretchen-rubin/second-splendid-truth-one-of-the-best-ways-to-make-yourself-happy-is/)

[Gretchen Rubin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/gretchen-rubin/)

> [Knowing what you admire in others is a wonderful mirror into your deepest, as yet unborn, self.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gretchen-rubin/knowing-what-you-admire-in-others-is-a-wonderful-mirror-into-your/)

[Gretchen Rubin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/gretchen-rubin/)

> [Being taken for granted is an unpleasant but sincere form of praise. Ironically, the more reliable you are and the less you complain, the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gretchen-rubin/being-taken-for-granted-is-an-unpleasant-but-sincere-form-of-praise/)

[Gretchen Rubin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/gretchen-rubin/)

> [“one Secret of Adulthood is “Never start a sentence with the words ‘No offense’”? “And”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gretchen-rubin/one-secret-of-adulthood-is-never-start-a-sentence-with-the-words-no/)

[Gretchen Rubin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/gretchen-rubin/)

> [One of the findings that really interests me is that, although we think we ACT because of the way we FEEL, we often FEEL…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gretchen-rubin/one-of-the-findings-that-really-interests-me-is-that-although-we/)

[Gretchen Rubin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/gretchen-rubin/)

> [We all want to get along well with other people, and one way to do this is to help people feel good about themselves.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gretchen-rubin/we-all-want-to-get-along-well-with-other-people-and-one-way-to-do/)

[Gretchen Rubin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/gretchen-rubin/)

> [During my study of happiness, I noticed something that surprised me: I often learn more from one person's highly idiosyncratic experiences than I do…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gretchen-rubin/during-my-study-of-happiness-i-noticed-something-that-surprised-me-i/)

[Gretchen Rubin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/gretchen-rubin/)

> [There is a preppy wabi-sabi to soft, faded khakis and cotton shirts, but it's not nice to be surrounded by things that are worn…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gretchen-rubin/there-is-a-preppy-wabi-sabi-to-soft-faded-khakis-and-cotton-shirts/)

[Gretchen Rubin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/gretchen-rubin/)

> [“There are times in the lives of most of us,” observed William Edward Hartpole Lecky, “when we would have given all the world to…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gretchen-rubin/there-are-times-in-the-lives-of-most-of-us-observed-william-edward/)

[Gretchen Rubin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/gretchen-rubin/)

> [“I started thinking more about music. I thought I'd accepted the fact that, as part of "Being Gretchen," I didn't really like music, but…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gretchen-rubin/i-started-thinking-more-about-music-i-thought-i-d-accepted-the-fact/)

[Gretchen Rubin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/gretchen-rubin/)

> [If you've had something for more than six months, and it's still not repaired, it's clutter.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gretchen-rubin/if-you-ve-had-something-for-more-than-six-months-and-it-s-still-not/)

[Gretchen Rubin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/gretchen-rubin/)

> [“The pleasure of doing the same thing, in the same way, every day, shouldn't be overlooked. The things I do every day take on…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gretchen-rubin/the-pleasure-of-doing-the-same-thing-in-the-same-way-every-day/)

[Gretchen Rubin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/gretchen-rubin/)

> [Although we often assume that feelings inspire actions, in fact, actions also inspire feelings. By pushing myself to act happier, I make myself feel…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gretchen-rubin/although-we-often-assume-that-feelings-inspire-actions-in-fact/)

[Gretchen Rubin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/gretchen-rubin/)

> [I love finding - or inventing - ways to categorize people.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gretchen-rubin/i-love-finding-or-inventing-ways-to-categorize-people/)

[Gretchen Rubin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/gretchen-rubin/)

> [“After someone's death, how strange to see the value drain away from his or her possessions; useful objects such as clothes, or dish towels,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gretchen-rubin/after-someone-s-death-how-strange-to-see-the-value-drain-away-from/)

[Gretchen Rubin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/gretchen-rubin/)

[Explore all 346 Gretchen Rubin quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/gretchen-rubin/)

## More Anger quotes

> [“If I let myself think of it the pain and anger were still fresh, adrenalin racing down my limbs to pool, hot and itchy,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kylie-ladd/if-i-let-myself-think-of-it-the-pain-and-anger-were-still-fresh/)

[Kylie Ladd](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kylie-ladd/)

> [I receive something we might euphemistically call an 'inappropriately hostile' response - that is to say, more than fair criticism or even fair anger…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mary-beard/i-receive-something-we-might-euphemistically-call-an-inappropriately/)

[Mary Beard](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mary-beard/)

> [The vision of the left, full of envy and resentment, takes its worst toll on those at the bottom - whether black or white…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/thomas-sowell/the-vision-of-the-left-full-of-envy-and-resentment-takes-its-worst/)

[Thomas Sowell](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/thomas-sowell/)

> [Anger is a rough water; if you can canalize it into a water mill, you can benefit from it. Anything bad can be transformed…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mehmet-murat-ildan/anger-is-a-rough-water-if-you-can-canalize-it-into-a-water-mill-you/)

[Mehmet Murat Ildan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mehmet-murat-ildan/)

> [“Some say the Earth is angry Because he wants no company; I say the Earth is angry Because he lives alone.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/n-k-jemisin/some-say-the-earth-is-angry-because-he-wants-no-company-i-say-the/)

[N.K. Jemisin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/n-k-jemisin/)

> [“When you feel terribly angry, you're possessed by anger ghost.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/toba-beta/when-you-feel-terribly-angry-you-re-possessed-by-anger-ghost/)

[Toba Beta](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/toba-beta/)

> [“Medical studies have shown that cursing reduces levels of stress and pain. Repressing your anger is not healthy. It's much better to verbalize it,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/oliver-markus-malloy/medical-studies-have-shown-that-cursing-reduces-levels-of-stress-and/)

[Oliver Markus Malloy](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/oliver-markus-malloy/)

> [My care will be in the heart n not in words My anger will be in Words n not in the Heart](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ritu-ghatourey/my-care-will-be-in-the-heart-n-not-in-words-my-anger-will-be-in-words/)

[Ritu Ghatourey](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ritu-ghatourey/)

> [You should be angry. You must not be bitter. Bitterness is like cancer. It eats upon the host. It doesn't do anything to the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/maya-angelou/you-should-be-angry-you-must-not-be-bitter-bitterness-is-like-cancer/)

[Maya Angelou](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/maya-angelou/)

> [To be a Negro in this country and to be relatively conscious is to be in a rage almost all the time.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/to-be-a-negro-in-this-country-and-to-be-relatively-conscious-is-to-be/)

[Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/)

> [“God, you had enough time to have been through it three times. You've been through my stuff. I bet you over and let one…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/stephen-king/god-you-had-enough-time-to-have-been-through-it-three-times-you-ve/)

[Stephen King](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/stephen-king/)

> [The present contains nothing more than the past, and what is found in the effect was already in the cause.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/henri-bergson/the-present-contains-nothing-more-than-the-past-and-what-is-found-in/)

[Henri Bergson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/henri-bergson/)

> [Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/steven-wright/depression-is-merely-anger-without-enthusiasm/)

[Steven Wright](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/steven-wright/)

> [I always fight better when my opponent's angry.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/david-haye/i-always-fight-better-when-my-opponent-s-angry/)

[David Haye](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/david-haye/)

> [ “Where there are kashays (anger-pride-deceit-greed), there is worldly life. As long as anger-pride-deceit-greed exist; one is a sansaari \[living a worldly life\] regardless of… ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dada-bhagwan/where-there-are-kashays-anger-pride-deceit-greed-there-is-worldly/)

[Dada Bhagwan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dada-bhagwan/)

[Browse all 7,469 Anger quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/anger/)

```json
{
    "@context": "https://schema.org",
    "@graph": [
        {
            "@type": "Quotation",
            "text": "“I was surprised to learn from my research, however, that the well-known notion of anger catharsis is poppycock. There’s no evidence for the belief that “letting off steam” is healthy or constructive. In fact, studies show that aggressively expressing anger doesn’t relieve anger but amplifies it. On the other hand, not expressing anger often allows it to disappear without leaving ugly traces.”",
            "creator": {
                "@type": "Person",
                "name": "Gretchen Rubin"
            },
            "isPartOf": {
                "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website"
            },
            "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gretchen-rubin/i-was-surprised-to-learn-from-my-research-however-that-the-well-known/",
            "about": {
                "@type": "Thing",
                "name": "Anger"
            },
            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gretchen-rubin/i-was-surprised-to-learn-from-my-research-however-that-the-well-known/#quotation",
            "image": {
                "@type": "ImageObject",
                "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/895/gretchen-rubin-867_anger_i-was-surprised-to-learn-from-my-researc_1820931.png",
                "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/895/gretchen-rubin-867_anger_i-was-surprised-to-learn-from-my-researc_1820931.png",
                "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/895/gretchen-rubin-867_anger_i-was-surprised-to-learn-from-my-researc_1820931.png",
                "width": 1080,
                "height": 1080,
                "caption": "“I was surprised to learn from my research, however, that the well-known notion of anger catharsis is…” — Gretchen Rubin",
                "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes",
                "creator": {
                    "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization"
                }
            }
        },
        {
            "@type": "BreadcrumbList",
            "itemListElement": [
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 1,
                    "name": "Home",
                    "item": "https://sms4smile.com/"
                },
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 2,
                    "name": "Quotes",
                    "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/"
                },
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 3,
                    "name": "Gretchen Rubin",
                    "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/gretchen-rubin/"
                },
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 4,
                    "name": "“I was surprised to learn from...",
                    "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gretchen-rubin/i-was-surprised-to-learn-from-my-research-however-that-the-well-known/"
                }
            ],
            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gretchen-rubin/i-was-surprised-to-learn-from-my-research-however-that-the-well-known/#breadcrumb"
        },
        {
            "@type": "WebSite",
            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website",
            "name": "SMS4Smile Quotes",
            "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/",
            "publisher": {
                "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization"
            }
        },
        {
            "@type": "Organization",
            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization",
            "name": "SMS4Smile Quotes",
            "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/",
            "logo": {
                "@type": "ImageObject",
                "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wp-content/themes/sq/assets/icons/icon-512.png",
                "width": 512,
                "height": 512
            }
        }
    ]
}
```
