---
title: "Meaning & Key Takeaway of: But just as no one really knows what it…"
description: "\"“But just as no one really knows what it is like to be a mother until she holds her first child, no one who hadn't felt the sudden loss of a child coul..."
image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/556/gregg-olsen-27288_children_but-just-as-no-one-really-knows-what-it_1365333.png"
---

#  But just as no one really knows what it is like to be a…

![“But just as no one really knows what it is like to be a mother until she holds her first child, no one who hadn't felt the sudden loss of a child could ever even approximate the stabbing ache that came with every breath. I” quote by Gregg Olsen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/556/gregg-olsen-27288_children_but-just-as-no-one-really-knows-what-it_1365333.png)   [Download](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/556/gregg-olsen-27288_children_but-just-as-no-one-really-knows-what-it_1365333.png) [Open image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/556/gregg-olsen-27288_children_but-just-as-no-one-really-knows-what-it_1365333.png)

> ““But just as no one really knows what it is like to be a mother until she holds her first child, no one who hadn't felt the sudden loss of a child could ever even approximate the stabbing ache that came with every breath. I””

[Gregg Olsen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/gregg-olsen/)

## About This Quote

This interpretation was drafted with AI assistance. It is one reading of the quote, not the author's own explanation.

Motherhood and grief are incomprehensible until personally experienced, revealing deep emotional pain.

**In simple terms:** Only experience reveals true feeling.

Key Takeaway

Recognize limits of empathy.

Themes

parenthood grief empathy

Mood

somber reflective

Type

narrative emotional

When to use this quote

- parenting
- loss counseling
- support groups

Key Concepts

subjective experience emotional depth

Questions to Reflect On

- How can we better support those grieving?
- What can we learn from shared stories?

A Different Perspective

Empathy can be cultivated through listening and storytelling.

★ ★ ★ ★ ★   No ratings yet

[Children](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/children/) [Loss of a child](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/loss-of-a-child/) [Mother](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/mother/) [Parenting](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/parenting/)

## Related quotes

> [“There is nothing redemptive about the loss of a child, no lessons of value it can teach you. It is too big, too overwhelming,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jojo-moyes/there-is-nothing-redemptive-about-the-loss-of-a-child-no-lessons-of/)

[Jojo Moyes](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jojo-moyes/)

> [Such is my experience - not that I ever mourned the loss of a child, but that I consider myself as lost!](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/deborah-sampson/such-is-my-experience-not-that-i-ever-mourned-the-loss-of-a-child-but/)

[Deborah Sampson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/deborah-sampson/)

> [Given the loss of a child or the birth of a child or anything like that, I think it's just I'm more moved by…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/milo-ventimiglia/given-the-loss-of-a-child-or-the-birth-of-a-child-or-anything-like/)

[Milo Ventimiglia](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/milo-ventimiglia/)

> [Marriages sometimes fall apart with the loss of a child because of people dealing with it differently. That can take a toll on a…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/melissa-barrera/marriages-sometimes-fall-apart-with-the-loss-of-a-child-because-of/)

[Melissa Barrera](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/melissa-barrera/)

> [So many people break up after the loss of a child; it can be very destructive to a relationship.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kym-marsh/so-many-people-break-up-after-the-loss-of-a-child-it-can-be-very/)

[Kym Marsh](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kym-marsh/)

> [The loss of a child is my greatest nightmare.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/angelina-jolie/the-loss-of-a-child-is-my-greatest-nightmare/)

[Angelina Jolie](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/angelina-jolie/)

> [Everyone surrounding you has gone through similar things. The search for love or the desire to have a family or the loss of a…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alicia-vikander/everyone-surrounding-you-has-gone-through-similar-things-the-search/)

[Alicia Vikander](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alicia-vikander/)

> [“Their relationship was over and probably irreparably damaged. The death of a child had a tendency to do that. It was a known fact,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/richard-c-hale/their-relationship-was-over-and-probably-irreparably-damaged-the/)

Richard C. Hale

> [If the Richter scale could measure human calamities, the loss of a child would register a ten.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/letty-cottin-pogrebin/if-the-richter-scale-could-measure-human-calamities-the-loss-of-a/)

[Letty Cottin Pogrebin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/letty-cottin-pogrebin/)

> [The loss of a child is the most terrifying place for me to go.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nicole-kidman/the-loss-of-a-child-is-the-most-terrifying-place-for-me-to-go/)

[Nicole Kidman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nicole-kidman/)

> [“My mother holds Bram tightly. I draw i ragged breath, the kind you take when the pain is too deep to cry, when you…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ally-condie/my-mother-holds-bram-tightly-i-draw-i-ragged-breath-the-kind-you-take/)

[Ally Condie](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ally-condie/)

> [“My mother holds these markers all over town; people who owe her a favour. It might be a peek into planning documents, or preferential…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i-m-millennial/my-mother-holds-these-markers-all-over-town-people-who-owe-her-a/)

[I.M. Millennial](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/i-m-millennial/)

> [A mother holds her childs hand for just a short time, but holds their hearts forever.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/a-mother-holds-her-childs-hand-for-just-a-short-time-but-holds-their/)

[Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/)

> [Without religion, man is an atheist, woman is a monster. As daughter, sister, wife and mother, she holds in her hands, under God, the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/henry-benjamin-whipple/without-religion-man-is-an-atheist-woman-is-a-monster-as-daughter/)

Henry Benjamin Whipple

> [A mother holds her child's hand for a short time, but holds their heart forever](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/a-mother-holds-her-child-s-hand-for-a-short-time-but-holds-their/)

[Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/)

## More by Gregg Olsen

> [Some of this story is completely true. And some of it isn't. Like truth, evil comes in all sorts of flavors. Some bitter. Some…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gregg-olsen/some-of-this-story-is-completely-true-and-some-of-it-isn-t-like-truth/)

[Gregg Olsen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/gregg-olsen/)

> [“Her daughter's comment amused Emily. 'I didn't know stalking could be a group activity”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gregg-olsen/her-daughter-s-comment-amused-emily-i-didn-t-know-stalking-could-be-a/)

[Gregg Olsen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/gregg-olsen/)

> [Why you need a reason for everything? Reason is something people say to make sense of things that don't make sense.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gregg-olsen/why-you-need-a-reason-for-everything-reason-is-something-people-say/)

[Gregg Olsen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/gregg-olsen/)

> [“Beetles never stop. They gnaw silently and relentlessly. Guilt is like that too.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gregg-olsen/beetles-never-stop-they-gnaw-silently-and-relentlessly-guilt-is-like/)

[Gregg Olsen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/gregg-olsen/)

> [“She was only fifteen! What is the matter with these kids today? Can't they wait to have sex until they get their driver's license…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gregg-olsen/she-was-only-fifteen-what-is-the-matter-with-these-kids-today-can-t/)

[Gregg Olsen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/gregg-olsen/)

> [“If she pleaded not guilty, David said she could suggest that the boy had been the agressor, or maybe it was all some teenage…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gregg-olsen/if-she-pleaded-not-guilty-david-said-she-could-suggest-that-the-boy/)

[Gregg Olsen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/gregg-olsen/)

> [“I was free. Free also means nothing.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gregg-olsen/i-was-free-free-also-means-nothing/)

[Gregg Olsen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/gregg-olsen/)

> [“And he'd kill Lily Ann Denton, put her in the trunkm and go to arbys. God. he was hungry. ”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gregg-olsen/and-he-d-kill-lily-ann-denton-put-her-in-the-trunkm-and-go-to-arbys/)

[Gregg Olsen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/gregg-olsen/)

> [If only these walls could talk…the world would know just how hard it is to tell the truth in a story in which everyone’s…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gregg-olsen/if-only-these-walls-could-talk-the-world-would-know-just-how-hard-it/)

[Gregg Olsen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/gregg-olsen/)

> [“I'd tell my mother to, you know, go you-know-what herself and I would go help those children. They're in an orphanage and they've got…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gregg-olsen/i-d-tell-my-mother-to-you-know-go-you-know-what-herself-and-i-would/)

[Gregg Olsen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/gregg-olsen/)

> [“He always told his girl, "If only these walls could talk... the world would know just how hard it is to tell the truth…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gregg-olsen/he-always-told-his-girl-if-only-these-walls-could-talk-the-world/)

[Gregg Olsen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/gregg-olsen/)

> [“And he'd kill Lily Ann Denton, put her in the trunkm and go to arbys. Godm he was hungry. ”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gregg-olsen/and-he-d-kill-lily-ann-denton-put-her-in-the-trunkm-and-go-to-arbys-2/)

[Gregg Olsen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/gregg-olsen/)

> [“touching on the points of two lives that had once intersected, and were now reunited.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gregg-olsen/touching-on-the-points-of-two-lives-that-had-once-intersected-and/)

[Gregg Olsen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/gregg-olsen/)

> [“She looked at ways to quantify life. Analytic in nature, her head almost always overruled her heart. Love it? Hate it? She wanted to…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gregg-olsen/she-looked-at-ways-to-quantify-life-analytic-in-nature-her-head/)

[Gregg Olsen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/gregg-olsen/)

> [“You should have dragged my butt out of bed." "Your butt's too big to drag," Taylor said. Hayley sat on the floor, facing her…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gregg-olsen/you-should-have-dragged-my-butt-out-of-bed-your-butt-s-too-big-to/)

[Gregg Olsen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/gregg-olsen/)

[Explore all 20 Gregg Olsen quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/gregg-olsen/)

## More Children quotes

> [I am certain that children always know more than they are able to tell, and that makes the big difference between them and adults,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jacques-lusseyran/i-am-certain-that-children-always-know-more-than-they-are-able-to/)

[Jacques Lusseyran](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jacques-lusseyran/)

> [Behind every successful child is an adult who believed in him.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/rick-warren/behind-every-successful-child-is-an-adult-who-believed-in-him/)

[Rick Warren](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/rick-warren/)

> [I believe in freedom to do what you want if you aren't hurting others, but pictures of obese protesters giving their children big gulps.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/philip-defranco/i-believe-in-freedom-to-do-what-you-want-if-you-aren-t-hurting-others/)

[Philip DeFranco](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/philip-defranco/)

> [If the audience likes your work, if they like you, they don't think whether you are married or have children or not. I made…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dimple-kapadia/if-the-audience-likes-your-work-if-they-like-you-they-don-t-think/)

[Dimple Kapadia](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dimple-kapadia/)

> [It doesnt seem to me strange that children should like the macabre, the sensational, and the forbidden.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anthony-hecht/it-doesnt-seem-to-me-strange-that-children-should-like-the-macabre/)

[Anthony Hecht](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anthony-hecht/)

> [Let children support their parents or be imprisoned.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/let-children-support-their-parents-or-be-imprisoned/)

[Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/)

> [Gratitude isn't just a feeling, it's an action. Expressing gratitude by writing in a journal, taking a photo, or shooting a video creates a…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/janice-kaplan/gratitude-isn-t-just-a-feeling-it-s-an-action-expressing-gratitude-by/)

[Janice Kaplan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/janice-kaplan/)

> [My embarrassing confession is that my father is a 'Camelot: The Musical' obsessive. So as a child, when we were going to visit relatives…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/chris-chibnall/my-embarrassing-confession-is-that-my-father-is-a-camelot-the-musical/)

[Chris Chibnall](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/chris-chibnall/)

> [I have many who keep me going, I am very fortunate in this sense. There is nothing like a child who knows more about…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/floyd-cooper/i-have-many-who-keep-me-going-i-am-very-fortunate-in-this-sense-there/)

[Floyd Cooper](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/floyd-cooper/)

> [My school was one of the most beautiful places a child can grow up in. You are surrounded by nature - cats, dogs, birds…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/amala-akkineni/my-school-was-one-of-the-most-beautiful-places-a-child-can-grow-up-in/)

[Amala Akkineni](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/amala-akkineni/)

> [A lesser complaint: hair extensions. There are moments on 'All My Children' when half the women actors, young and old, seem to be afflicted…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/camille-paglia/a-lesser-complaint-hair-extensions-there-are-moments-on-all-my/)

[Camille Paglia](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/camille-paglia/)

> [As a child, I had a lot of older gay men taking care of me. There's a trust there. I feel like little girls…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/margaret-cho/as-a-child-i-had-a-lot-of-older-gay-men-taking-care-of-me-there-s-a/)

[Margaret Cho](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/margaret-cho/)

> [If my child had prejudice in his head, I'd be ashamed. I would see it as my failure as a parent.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/salman-rushdie/if-my-child-had-prejudice-in-his-head-i-d-be-ashamed-i-would-see-it/)

[Salman Rushdie](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/salman-rushdie/)

> [“Children's lives are always beginning and adults' lives are always ending. Or is it the opposite? Your childhood is always ending and your adult…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alison-espach/children-s-lives-are-always-beginning-and-adults-lives-are-always/)

[Alison Espach](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alison-espach/)

> [As a child I was very involved with sports and I knew at age 9 that I wanted to be an Olympic champion.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/marion-jones/as-a-child-i-was-very-involved-with-sports-and-i-knew-at-age-9-that-i/)

[Marion Jones](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/marion-jones/)

[Browse all 62,396 Children quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/children/)

```json
{
    "@context": "https://schema.org",
    "@graph": [
        {
            "@type": "Quotation",
            "text": "“But just as no one really knows what it is like to be a mother until she holds her first child, no one who hadn't felt the sudden loss of a child could ever even approximate the stabbing ache that came with every breath. I”",
            "creator": {
                "@type": "Person",
                "name": "Gregg Olsen"
            },
            "isPartOf": {
                "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website"
            },
            "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gregg-olsen/but-just-as-no-one-really-knows-what-it-is-like-to-be-a-mother-until/",
            "about": {
                "@type": "Thing",
                "name": "Children"
            },
            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gregg-olsen/but-just-as-no-one-really-knows-what-it-is-like-to-be-a-mother-until/#quotation",
            "image": {
                "@type": "ImageObject",
                "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/556/gregg-olsen-27288_children_but-just-as-no-one-really-knows-what-it_1365333.png",
                "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/556/gregg-olsen-27288_children_but-just-as-no-one-really-knows-what-it_1365333.png",
                "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/556/gregg-olsen-27288_children_but-just-as-no-one-really-knows-what-it_1365333.png",
                "width": 1080,
                "height": 1080,
                "caption": "“But just as no one really knows what it is like to be a mother until she holds her first child, no one who…” — Gregg Olsen",
                "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes",
                "creator": {
                    "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization"
                }
            }
        },
        {
            "@type": "BreadcrumbList",
            "itemListElement": [
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 1,
                    "name": "Home",
                    "item": "https://sms4smile.com/"
                },
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 2,
                    "name": "Quotes",
                    "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/"
                },
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 3,
                    "name": "Gregg Olsen",
                    "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/gregg-olsen/"
                },
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 4,
                    "name": "“But just as no one really...",
                    "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gregg-olsen/but-just-as-no-one-really-knows-what-it-is-like-to-be-a-mother-until/"
                }
            ],
            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gregg-olsen/but-just-as-no-one-really-knows-what-it-is-like-to-be-a-mother-until/#breadcrumb"
        },
        {
            "@type": "WebSite",
            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website",
            "name": "SMS4Smile Quotes",
            "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/",
            "publisher": {
                "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization"
            }
        },
        {
            "@type": "Organization",
            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization",
            "name": "SMS4Smile Quotes",
            "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/",
            "logo": {
                "@type": "ImageObject",
                "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wp-content/themes/sq/assets/icons/icon-512.png",
                "width": 512,
                "height": 512
            }
        }
    ]
}
```
