--- title: "Meaning & Key Takeaway of: Grief and disappointment are like hate…" description: "\"Grief and disappointment are like hate: they make men ugly with self-pity and bitterness. And how selfish they make us too.\" — Graham Greene" image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/238/graham-greene-441_bitterness_grief-and-disappointment-are-like-hate-t_1575722.jpg" --- # Grief and disappointment are like hate: they make men ugly… ![“Grief and disappointment are like hate: they make men ugly with self-pity and bitterness. And how selfish they make us too.” quote by Graham Greene](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/238/graham-greene-441_bitterness_grief-and-disappointment-are-like-hate-t_1575722.jpg) [Download](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/238/graham-greene-441_bitterness_grief-and-disappointment-are-like-hate-t_1575722.jpg) [Open image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/238/graham-greene-441_bitterness_grief-and-disappointment-are-like-hate-t_1575722.jpg) > “Grief and disappointment are like hate: they make men ugly with self-pity and bitterness. And how selfish they make us too.” [Graham Greene](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/graham-greene/) ## About This Quote This interpretation was drafted with AI assistance. It is one reading of the quote, not the author's own explanation. Grief and disappointment turn people bitter and self‑absorbed, making them appear ugly. **In simple terms:** Bitterness makes us ugly. Key Takeaway Avoid self‑pity; seek compassion. Themes grief disappointment bitterness self‑reflection Mood sad reflective Type philosophical emotional When to use this quote - counseling - personal loss - relationship breakdown - conflict resolution Key Concepts psychology emotional health human nature Questions to Reflect On - How does bitterness affect your relationships? - What steps can reduce self‑pity? A Different Perspective Self‑pity can hinder healing and growth. ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ No ratings yet [Bitterness](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/bitterness/) [Bitterness Selfish](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/bitterness-selfish-5313662/) [Death](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/death/) [Disappointment](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/disappointment/) [Grief](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/grief/) [Grief Disappointment](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/grief-disappointment-2770194/) [Hate](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/hate/) [Men](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/men/) [Pity](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/pity/) [Pity Bitterness](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/pity-bitterness-1301927/) [Self](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/self/) [Self pity](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/self-pity/) [Selfish](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/selfish/) [Ugly](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/ugly/) ## Related quotes > [“Loneliness had made the Queen bitter, bitterness had made her selfish, and selfishness had made her suspicious. --The Changeling”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kate-morton/loneliness-had-made-the-queen-bitter-bitterness-had-made-her-selfish/) [Kate Morton](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kate-morton/) > [Grief and disappointment give rise to anger, anger to envy, envy to malice, and malice to grief again, till the whole circle be completed.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/david-hume/grief-and-disappointment-give-rise-to-anger-anger-to-envy-envy-to/) [David Hume](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/david-hume/) > [“He acted like he didn't hear me. "He will let you down, because that's what he does. That's who he is." For the rest…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jenny-han/he-acted-like-he-didn-t-hear-me-he-will-let-you-down-because-that-s/) [Jenny Han](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jenny-han/) > [Any real change implies the breakup of the world as one has always known it, the loss of all that gave one an identity,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/james-a-baldwin/any-real-change-implies-the-breakup-of-the-world-as-one-has-always/) [James A. Baldwin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/james-a-baldwin/) > [“Bitterness, principle of your determination, your mode of action, and understanding, is the one fixed point in your oscillation between disgust for the world…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/emil-cioran/bitterness-principle-of-your-determination-your-mode-of-action-and/) [Emil Cioran](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/emil-cioran/) > [We can be bitter about our shortcomings; or we can be thankful for our blessings.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/we-can-be-bitter-about-our-shortcomings-or-we-can-be-thankful-for-our/) [Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/) > [Overcome any bitterness that may have come because you were not up to the magnitude of the pain entrusted to you. Like the mother…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/vilayat-inayat-khan/overcome-any-bitterness-that-may-have-come-because-you-were-not-up-to/) [Vilayat Inayat Khan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/vilayat-inayat-khan/) > [My name is Nwori Joshua and I am the world's most sorrowful young man on earth and the world's biggest Jerk. I sought for…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nwori-joshua/my-name-is-nwori-joshua-and-i-am-the-world-s-most-sorrowful-young-man/) [Nwori Joshua](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nwori-joshua/) > [The teeth of self-pity had gnawed away her essential self.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/willa-gibbs/the-teeth-of-self-pity-had-gnawed-away-her-essential-self/) [Willa Gibbs](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/willa-gibbs/) > [I must learn that the purpose of my life belongs to God, not me. God is using me from His great personal perspective, and…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/oswald-chambers/i-must-learn-that-the-purpose-of-my-life-belongs-to-god-not-me-god-is/) [Oswald Chambers](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/oswald-chambers/) > [“Self-pity was like wearing a wool jacket in the sweltering heat, and I wanted it gone.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wendy-higgins/self-pity-was-like-wearing-a-wool-jacket-in-the-sweltering-heat-and-i/) [Wendy Higgins](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/wendy-higgins/) > [I give myself a good cry if I need it. But then I concentrate on the good things still in my life. I don't…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mitch-albom/i-give-myself-a-good-cry-if-i-need-it-but-then-i-concentrate-on-the/) [Mitch Albom](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mitch-albom/) > [“Wallowing in self-pity hurts no one except you. Boss up and find a way to get going again.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/germany-kent/wallowing-in-self-pity-hurts-no-one-except-you-boss-up-and-find-a-way/) [Germany Kent](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/germany-kent/) > [“Self-pity is the worst disability a person can have, Callie. It's crippling.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/shelley-terrell/self-pity-is-the-worst-disability-a-person-can-have-callie-it-s/) [Shelley Terrell](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/shelley-terrell/) > [But victimhood was seductive, a release from responsibility and caring. Fear would be transmuted into weary resignation; failure would no longer generate guilt but,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dean-koontz/but-victimhood-was-seductive-a-release-from-responsibility-and-caring/) [Dean Koontz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dean-koontz/) ## More by Graham Greene > [“Time gives poetry to a battlefield...”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/graham-greene/time-gives-poetry-to-a-battlefield/) [Graham Greene](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/graham-greene/) > [“What is cowardice in the young is wisdom in the old, but all the same one can be ashamed of wisdom.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/graham-greene/what-is-cowardice-in-the-young-is-wisdom-in-the-old-but-all-the-same/) [Graham Greene](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/graham-greene/) > [Pity is cruel. Pity destroys.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/graham-greene/pity-is-cruel-pity-destroys/) [Graham Greene](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/graham-greene/) > [Hate is a lack of imagination.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/graham-greene/hate-is-a-lack-of-imagination/) [Graham Greene](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/graham-greene/) > [Despair is the price one pays for setting oneself an impossible aim. It is, one is told, the unforgivable sin, but it is a…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/graham-greene/despair-is-the-price-one-pays-for-setting-oneself-an-impossible-aim/) [Graham Greene](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/graham-greene/) > [“Knowledge was the great thing--not abstract knowledge in which Dr. Forester had been so rich, the theories which lead one enticingly on with their…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/graham-greene/knowledge-was-the-great-thing-not-abstract-knowledge-in-which-dr/) [Graham Greene](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/graham-greene/) > [With Your great schemes, You ruin our happiness like a harvester ruins a mouse's nest: I hate You, God, I hate You as though…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/graham-greene/with-your-great-schemes-you-ruin-our-happiness-like-a-harvester-ruins/) [Graham Greene](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/graham-greene/) > [Heresy is only another word for freedom of thought.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/graham-greene/heresy-is-only-another-word-for-freedom-of-thought/) [Graham Greene](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/graham-greene/) > [“He had thought that home was something one possessed, but the things one had possessed were cursed with change; it was what one didn't…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/graham-greene/he-had-thought-that-home-was-something-one-possessed-but-the-things/) [Graham Greene](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/graham-greene/) > [Perhaps the comparison is closer to the Chinese cook who leaves hardly any part of a duck unserved.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/graham-greene/perhaps-the-comparison-is-closer-to-the-chinese-cook-who-leaves/) [Graham Greene](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/graham-greene/) > [“He said, ‘Oh god, help her. Damn me, I deserve it, but let her live forever.’ This was the love he should have felt…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/graham-greene/he-said-oh-god-help-her-damn-me-i-deserve-it-but-let-her-live-forever/) [Graham Greene](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/graham-greene/) > [“A police photograph is like a passport photograph: the intelligence which casts a veil over the crude common shape is never recorded by the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/graham-greene/a-police-photograph-is-like-a-passport-photograph-the-intelligence/) [Graham Greene](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/graham-greene/) > [ “I tossed up whether I'd see \[the critic\] or not: I knew too well the pompous phrases of his article, the buried significance he… ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/graham-greene/i-tossed-up-whether-i-d-see-the-critic-or-not-i-knew-too-well-the/) [Graham Greene](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/graham-greene/) > [Success is more dangerous than failure, the ripples break over a wider coastline.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/graham-greene/success-is-more-dangerous-than-failure-the-ripples-break-over-a-wider/) [Graham Greene](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/graham-greene/) > [“But we do not love people for what they do for us. Love happens to us; it isn't created.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/graham-greene/but-we-do-not-love-people-for-what-they-do-for-us-love-happens-to-us/) [Graham Greene](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/graham-greene/) [Explore all 550 Graham Greene quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/graham-greene/) ## More Bitterness quotes > [You should be angry. You must not be bitter. Bitterness is like cancer. It eats upon the host. It doesn't do anything to the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/maya-angelou/you-should-be-angry-you-must-not-be-bitter-bitterness-is-like-cancer/) [Maya Angelou](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/maya-angelou/) > [If Japanese tea 'stands,' it acquires a coarse bitterness and an unwholesome astringency. Milk and sugar are not used.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/isabella-bird/if-japanese-tea-stands-it-acquires-a-coarse-bitterness-and-an/) [Isabella Bird](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/isabella-bird/) > [Stronger than alcohol, vaster than poetry, Ferment the freckled red bitterness of love!](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/arthur-rimbaud/stronger-than-alcohol-vaster-than-poetry-ferment-the-freckled-red/) [Arthur Rimbaud](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/arthur-rimbaud/) > [“What?" I ask. I try not to get snappy with her. She hasn't really done anything wrong. Falling in love with Turner isn't a…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/c-m-stunich/what-i-ask-i-try-not-to-get-snappy-with-her-she-hasn-t-really-done/) [C.M. Stunich](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/c-m-stunich/) > [“The fairest things have fleetest end, Their scent survives their close: But the rose’s scent is bitterness To him that loved the rose. —Francis…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ann-rule/the-fairest-things-have-fleetest-end-their-scent-survives-their-close/) [Ann Rule](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ann-rule/) > [Life appears to me too short to be spent in nursing animosity, or registering wrongs. With this creed, revenge never worries my heart, degradation…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/charlotte-bronte/life-appears-to-me-too-short-to-be-spent-in-nursing-animosity-or/) [Charlotte Bronte](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/charlotte-bronte/) > [“No," I say. "I didn't know that," and as I say it I feel flooded with bitterness at all the things Ingrid kept secret…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nina-lacour/no-i-say-i-didn-t-know-that-and-as-i-say-it-i-feel-flooded-with/) [Nina LaCour](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nina-lacour/) > [Forgiving someone who've done you wrong or didn't treat you right could mean that you are allowing yourself to end up away from bitterness.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/april-t-pascua/forgiving-someone-who-ve-done-you-wrong-or-didn-t-treat-you-right/) [April T Pascua](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/april-t-pascua/) > [You cannot be inspired if you are surrounded with negativity, open the door and step into the inspirational garden of nature. Do not let…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kemmy-nola/you-cannot-be-inspired-if-you-are-surrounded-with-negativity-open-the/) [Kemmy Nola](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kemmy-nola/) > [It's not the load that breaks you down, it's the way you carry it. Carry it by the comfortable handles of gratitude for what's…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lena-horne/it-s-not-the-load-that-breaks-you-down-it-s-the-way-you-carry-it/) [Lena Horne](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lena-horne/) > [Not forgiving prolongs hurt and anger and leads to smoldering resentment, which will make us miserable until it kills us. Resentment destroys the perception…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/richard-walters/not-forgiving-prolongs-hurt-and-anger-and-leads-to-smoldering/) [Richard Walters](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/richard-walters/) > [Let us not give in to pessimism, to that bitterness that the devil offers us every day.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/pope-francis/let-us-not-give-in-to-pessimism-to-that-bitterness-that-the-devil/) [Pope Francis](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/pope-francis/) > [“Sometimes it is good to remind ourselves how bitterness tastes.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/rin-chupeco/sometimes-it-is-good-to-remind-ourselves-how-bitterness-tastes/) [Rin Chupeco](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/rin-chupeco/) > [What folly made young people, even those in middle age, think they were immortal? How much better, their lives, if they could remember the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/rohinton-mistry/what-folly-made-young-people-even-those-in-middle-age-think-they-were/) [Rohinton Mistry](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/rohinton-mistry/) > [Be sure there is something waiting for you after much patience, to astonish you to a degree, that you forget the bitterness of the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ritu-ghatourey/be-sure-there-is-something-waiting-for-you-after-much-patience-to/) [Ritu Ghatourey](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ritu-ghatourey/) [Browse all 1,210 Bitterness quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/bitterness/) ```json { "@context": "https://schema.org", "@graph": [ { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "Grief and disappointment are like hate: they make men ugly with self-pity and bitterness. And how selfish they make us too.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Graham Greene" }, "isPartOf": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/graham-greene/grief-and-disappointment-are-like-hate-they-make-men-ugly-with-self/", "about": { "@type": "Thing", "name": "Bitterness" }, "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/graham-greene/grief-and-disappointment-are-like-hate-they-make-men-ugly-with-self/#quotation", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/238/graham-greene-441_bitterness_grief-and-disappointment-are-like-hate-t_1575722.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/238/graham-greene-441_bitterness_grief-and-disappointment-are-like-hate-t_1575722.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/238/graham-greene-441_bitterness_grief-and-disappointment-are-like-hate-t_1575722.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“Grief and disappointment are like hate: they make men ugly with self-pity and bitterness. And how selfish…” — Graham Greene", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } }, { "@type": "BreadcrumbList", "itemListElement": [ { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 1, "name": "Home", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/" }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 2, "name": "Quotes", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/" }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 3, "name": "Graham Greene", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/graham-greene/" }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 4, "name": "Grief and disappointment are like hate:...", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/graham-greene/grief-and-disappointment-are-like-hate-they-make-men-ugly-with-self/" } ], "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/graham-greene/grief-and-disappointment-are-like-hate-they-make-men-ugly-with-self/#breadcrumb" }, { "@type": "WebSite", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website", "name": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/", "publisher": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } }, { "@type": "Organization", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization", "name": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/", "logo": { "@type": "ImageObject", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wp-content/themes/sq/assets/icons/icon-512.png", "width": 512, "height": 512 } } ] } ```