--- title: "Meaning & Key Takeaway of: And it dawned on me that I had not…" description: "\"“And it dawned on me that I had not designed the questionnaire to find a woman I could accept, but to find someone who might accept me.”\" — Graeme Simsion" image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/bc7/graeme-simsion-3122_accept_and-it-dawned-on-me-that-i-had-not-desig_527201.png" --- # And it dawned on me that I had not designed the… ![“And it dawned on me that I had not designed the questionnaire to find a woman I could accept, but to find someone who might accept me.” quote by Graeme Simsion](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/bc7/graeme-simsion-3122_accept_and-it-dawned-on-me-that-i-had-not-desig_527201.png) [Download](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/bc7/graeme-simsion-3122_accept_and-it-dawned-on-me-that-i-had-not-desig_527201.png) [Open image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/bc7/graeme-simsion-3122_accept_and-it-dawned-on-me-that-i-had-not-desig_527201.png) > ““And it dawned on me that I had not designed the questionnaire to find a woman I could accept, but to find someone who might accept me.”” [Graeme Simsion](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/graeme-simsion/) ## About This Quote This interpretation was drafted with AI assistance. It is one reading of the quote, not the author's own explanation. He realized his questionnaire sought a partner to accept him, not a woman he could accept. **In simple terms:** He was looking for acceptance, not compatibility. Key Takeaway Seek mutual acceptance rather than self‑validation. Themes relationships self‑awareness compatibility Mood contemplative empathetic Type literary relationship When to use this quote - dating - self‑reflection - relationship counseling Key Concepts psychological projection personal growth Questions to Reflect On - What qualities do you truly seek in a partner? - How can you balance self‑acceptance with mutual respect? A Different Perspective Focusing on acceptance may ignore essential compatibility factors. ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ No ratings yet [Accept](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/accept/) [Designed Questionnaire](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/designed-questionnaire-4437266/) [Questionnaire](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/questionnaire-1515694/) [Questionnaire Woman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/questionnaire-woman-4437265/) [Woman Accept](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/woman-accept-1266604/) ## Related quotes > [As a woman, you accept the situation, adapt to it, and do your best, whereas men would choose violence.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/asne-seierstad/as-a-woman-you-accept-the-situation-adapt-to-it-and-do-your-best/) [Asne Seierstad](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/asne-seierstad/) > [Woman must not accept; she must challenge.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/margaret-sanger/woman-must-not-accept-she-must-challenge/) [Margaret Sanger](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/margaret-sanger/) > [Woman must not accept; she must challenge. She must not be awed by that which has been built up around her; she must reverence…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/margaret-sanger/woman-must-not-accept-she-must-challenge-she-must-not-be-awed-by-that/) [Margaret Sanger](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/margaret-sanger/) > [“A guy might find a woman attractive but she might find him repulsive. The two must tango together. And LSM is capturing the dance—whereas…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/james-w-pennebaker/a-guy-might-find-a-woman-attractive-but-she-might-find-him-repulsive/) [James W. Pennebaker](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/james-w-pennebaker/) > [I think that is just a limitation of any questionnaire - that we apply a frame of reference or standard. It's a well-known finding…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/angela-duckworth/i-think-that-is-just-a-limitation-of-any-questionnaire-that-we-apply/) [Angela Duckworth](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/angela-duckworth/) > [The questionnaire is a simple first step toward becoming more self-aware.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nick-morgan/the-questionnaire-is-a-simple-first-step-toward-becoming-more-self/) [Nick Morgan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nick-morgan/) > [There's nothing like a medical questionnaire to dampen the romance of any moment.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/liz-carr/there-s-nothing-like-a-medical-questionnaire-to-dampen-the-romance-of/) [Liz Carr](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/liz-carr/) > [I've always taken care of myself, and I'm a non-conformist, so I don't accept the negativity that comes with birthdays.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/rob-van-dam/i-ve-always-taken-care-of-myself-and-i-m-a-non-conformist-so-i-don-t/) [Rob Van Dam](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/rob-van-dam/) > [It's very important to me that people accept me as a transgendered female. But it's ridiculous to a lot of people and I understand…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alexis-arquette/it-s-very-important-to-me-that-people-accept-me-as-a-transgendered/) [Alexis Arquette](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alexis-arquette/) > [Things don't go on forever, and the quicker you accept that change is inevitable, the happier you're gonna be.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/trey-anastasio/things-don-t-go-on-forever-and-the-quicker-you-accept-that-change-is/) [Trey Anastasio](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/trey-anastasio/) > [If you're disabled or different from what general society deems normal, it's fine. There will always be people who won't accept you, but there…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/millicent-simmonds/if-you-re-disabled-or-different-from-what-general-society-deems/) [Millicent Simmonds](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/millicent-simmonds/) > [“See, I know what they think about me. That I’m some project. And, yeah, I’ll accept their help. But I’m gonna pay my way.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kirsty-eagar/see-i-know-what-they-think-about-me-that-i-m-some-project-and-yeah-i/) [Kirsty Eagar](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kirsty-eagar/) > [The fans can accept a poor performance, but they won't take it when you choose not to put in the effort.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/pep-guardiola/the-fans-can-accept-a-poor-performance-but-they-won-t-take-it-when/) [Pep Guardiola](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/pep-guardiola/) > [The shelves of many evangelicals are full of books that point out the flaws in evolution, discuss it only as a theory, and almost…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/francis-collins/the-shelves-of-many-evangelicals-are-full-of-books-that-point-out-the/) [Francis Collins](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/francis-collins/) > [If we accept being talked to any kind of a way, then we are telling ourselves we are not quite worth the best. And…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/maya-angelou/if-we-accept-being-talked-to-any-kind-of-a-way-then-we-are-telling/) [Maya Angelou](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/maya-angelou/) ## More by Graeme Simsion > [“My questionnaire would be ruthless in filtering out women who were concerned with appearance.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/graeme-simsion/my-questionnaire-would-be-ruthless-in-filtering-out-women-who-were/) [Graeme Simsion](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/graeme-simsion/) > [“I decided that ten positions would be sufficient initially. More could be learned if the initial encounter was successful. It did not take long—less…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/graeme-simsion/i-decided-that-ten-positions-would-be-sufficient-initially-more-could/) [Graeme Simsion](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/graeme-simsion/) > [“Fault! Asperger’s isn’t a fault. It’s a variant. It’s potentially a major advantage. Asperger’s syndrome is associated with organization, focus, innovative thinking, and rational…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/graeme-simsion/fault-asperger-s-isn-t-a-fault-it-s-a-variant-it-s-potentially-a/) [Graeme Simsion](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/graeme-simsion/) > [I feel I've done the 10,000 hours you have to do to get good at something.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/graeme-simsion/i-feel-i-ve-done-the-10-000-hours-you-have-to-do-to-get-good-at/) [Graeme Simsion](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/graeme-simsion/) > [Research consistently shows that the risks to health outweigh the benefits of drinking alcohol. My argument is that the benefits to my mental health…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/graeme-simsion/research-consistently-shows-that-the-risks-to-health-outweigh-the/) [Graeme Simsion](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/graeme-simsion/) > [“When I returned, wearing an uncomfortably large white shirt, with a decorative frill in the front, I tried to introduce the Wife Project, but…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/graeme-simsion/when-i-returned-wearing-an-uncomfortably-large-white-shirt-with-a/) [Graeme Simsion](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/graeme-simsion/) > [I am a big advocate of the role of the bookstore in the community.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/graeme-simsion/i-am-a-big-advocate-of-the-role-of-the-bookstore-in-the-community/) [Graeme Simsion](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/graeme-simsion/) > [“I need a minute to think,” she said. I automatically started the timer on my watch. Suddenly Rosie started laughing. I looked at her,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/graeme-simsion/i-need-a-minute-to-think-she-said-i-automatically-started-the-timer/) [Graeme Simsion](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/graeme-simsion/) > [“I would normally have scheduled my driving time according to published studies on fatigue and booked accommodation accordingly. But I had been too busy…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/graeme-simsion/i-would-normally-have-scheduled-my-driving-time-according-to/) [Graeme Simsion](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/graeme-simsion/) > [“used the precise speed indication on the GPS to set the cruise control to the exact speed limit, rather than relying on the artificially…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/graeme-simsion/used-the-precise-speed-indication-on-the-gps-to-set-the-cruise/) [Graeme Simsion](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/graeme-simsion/) > [“In the last eight weeks I had experienced two of the three best times of my adult life, assuming all visits to the Museum…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/graeme-simsion/in-the-last-eight-weeks-i-had-experienced-two-of-the-three-best-times/) [Graeme Simsion](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/graeme-simsion/) > [“Asperger's isn't a fault. It's a variant. It's potentially a major advantage.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/graeme-simsion/asperger-s-isn-t-a-fault-it-s-a-variant-it-s-potentially-a-major/) [Graeme Simsion](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/graeme-simsion/) > [“I could no longer be equated with the Virgin Mary. I had been corrupted. I was like everyone else. My stone-casting credibility had been…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/graeme-simsion/i-could-no-longer-be-equated-with-the-virgin-mary-i-had-been/) [Graeme Simsion](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/graeme-simsion/) > [“Once a week, in order to deal with the demands of living with another person, and to continue to improve my skills in this…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/graeme-simsion/once-a-week-in-order-to-deal-with-the-demands-of-living-with-another/) [Graeme Simsion](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/graeme-simsion/) > [“Nothing would change the fault in my brain that made me unacceptable.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/graeme-simsion/nothing-would-change-the-fault-in-my-brain-that-made-me-unacceptable/) [Graeme Simsion](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/graeme-simsion/) [Explore all 138 Graeme Simsion quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/graeme-simsion/) ## More Accept quotes > [If we accept being talked to any kind of a way, then we are telling ourselves we are not quite worth the best. And…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/maya-angelou/if-we-accept-being-talked-to-any-kind-of-a-way-then-we-are-telling/) [Maya Angelou](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/maya-angelou/) > [The shelves of many evangelicals are full of books that point out the flaws in evolution, discuss it only as a theory, and almost…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/francis-collins/the-shelves-of-many-evangelicals-are-full-of-books-that-point-out-the/) [Francis Collins](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/francis-collins/) > [The fans can accept a poor performance, but they won't take it when you choose not to put in the effort.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/pep-guardiola/the-fans-can-accept-a-poor-performance-but-they-won-t-take-it-when/) [Pep Guardiola](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/pep-guardiola/) > [“See, I know what they think about me. That I’m some project. And, yeah, I’ll accept their help. But I’m gonna pay my way.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kirsty-eagar/see-i-know-what-they-think-about-me-that-i-m-some-project-and-yeah-i/) [Kirsty Eagar](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kirsty-eagar/) > [If you're disabled or different from what general society deems normal, it's fine. There will always be people who won't accept you, but there…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/millicent-simmonds/if-you-re-disabled-or-different-from-what-general-society-deems/) [Millicent Simmonds](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/millicent-simmonds/) > [Things don't go on forever, and the quicker you accept that change is inevitable, the happier you're gonna be.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/trey-anastasio/things-don-t-go-on-forever-and-the-quicker-you-accept-that-change-is/) [Trey Anastasio](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/trey-anastasio/) > [It's very important to me that people accept me as a transgendered female. But it's ridiculous to a lot of people and I understand…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alexis-arquette/it-s-very-important-to-me-that-people-accept-me-as-a-transgendered/) [Alexis Arquette](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alexis-arquette/) > [I've always taken care of myself, and I'm a non-conformist, so I don't accept the negativity that comes with birthdays.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/rob-van-dam/i-ve-always-taken-care-of-myself-and-i-m-a-non-conformist-so-i-don-t/) [Rob Van Dam](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/rob-van-dam/) > [Not harder than it should be, no. We're about the business, we're about the work. It's all about the work, always. We have fun…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/antoine-fuqua/not-harder-than-it-should-be-no-we-re-about-the-business-we-re-about/) [Antoine Fuqua](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/antoine-fuqua/) > [I wish I could just accept that I'm not that good and not be shy about the fact that I'm not that professional.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/charlotte-gainsbourg/i-wish-i-could-just-accept-that-i-m-not-that-good-and-not-be-shy/) [Charlotte Gainsbourg](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/charlotte-gainsbourg/) > [I cannot accept being silent in the face of injustice.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jasmine-crockett/i-cannot-accept-being-silent-in-the-face-of-injustice/) [Jasmine Crockett](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jasmine-crockett/) > [“I hope there is less stigma and judgment against working moms and childless career women. All should be acceptable positions and society should not…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/chan-heng-chee/i-hope-there-is-less-stigma-and-judgment-against-working-moms-and/) [Chan Heng Chee](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/chan-heng-chee/) > [“Of course I can accept you for who you are. You are someone I need to change.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/randy-glasbergen/of-course-i-can-accept-you-for-who-you-are-you-are-someone-i-need-to/) [Randy Glasbergen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/randy-glasbergen/) > [I can't be that kind of person others want me to be.I know I can't please everybody for just being me But I'm glad…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nix/i-can-t-be-that-kind-of-person-others-want-me-to-be-i-know-i-can-t/) [Nix](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nix/) > [I don't care who you are,Where you from,As long as you love me.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mks-vibz/i-don-t-care-who-you-are-where-you-from-as-long-as-you-love-me/) [Mks Vibz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mks-vibz/) [Browse all 2,963 Accept quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/accept/) ```json { "@context": "https://schema.org", "@graph": [ { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "“And it dawned on me that I had not designed the questionnaire to find a woman I could accept, but to find someone who might accept me.”", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Graeme Simsion" }, "isPartOf": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/graeme-simsion/and-it-dawned-on-me-that-i-had-not-designed-the-questionnaire-to-find/", "about": { "@type": "Thing", "name": "Accept" }, "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/graeme-simsion/and-it-dawned-on-me-that-i-had-not-designed-the-questionnaire-to-find/#quotation", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/bc7/graeme-simsion-3122_accept_and-it-dawned-on-me-that-i-had-not-desig_527201.png", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/bc7/graeme-simsion-3122_accept_and-it-dawned-on-me-that-i-had-not-desig_527201.png", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/bc7/graeme-simsion-3122_accept_and-it-dawned-on-me-that-i-had-not-desig_527201.png", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“And it dawned on me that I had not designed the questionnaire to find a woman I could accept, but to find…” — Graeme Simsion", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } }, { "@type": "BreadcrumbList", "itemListElement": [ { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 1, "name": "Home", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/" }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 2, "name": "Quotes", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/" }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 3, "name": "Graeme Simsion", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/graeme-simsion/" }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 4, "name": "“And it dawned on me that...", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/graeme-simsion/and-it-dawned-on-me-that-i-had-not-designed-the-questionnaire-to-find/" } ], "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/graeme-simsion/and-it-dawned-on-me-that-i-had-not-designed-the-questionnaire-to-find/#breadcrumb" }, { "@type": "WebSite", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website", "name": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/", "publisher": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } }, { "@type": "Organization", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization", "name": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/", "logo": { "@type": "ImageObject", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wp-content/themes/sq/assets/icons/icon-512.png", "width": 512, "height": 512 } } ] } ```