--- title: "Meaning & Key Takeaway of: It turns out that we literally don't…" description: "\"It turns out that we literally don't empathize unless we're physically present - that the oxytocin, the famous \"tend and befriend\" hormone is not produ..." image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/a61/gloria-steinem-277_empathize_it-turns-out-that-we-literally-don-t-emp_3127933.jpg" --- # It turns out that we literally don't empathize unless… ![“It turns out that we literally don't empathize unless we're physically present - that the oxytocin, the famous "tend and befriend" hormone is not produced unless we're present with all five senses.” quote by Gloria Steinem](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/a61/gloria-steinem-277_empathize_it-turns-out-that-we-literally-don-t-emp_3127933.jpg) [Download](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/a61/gloria-steinem-277_empathize_it-turns-out-that-we-literally-don-t-emp_3127933.jpg) [Open image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/a61/gloria-steinem-277_empathize_it-turns-out-that-we-literally-don-t-emp_3127933.jpg) > “It turns out that we literally don't empathize unless we're physically present - that the oxytocin, the famous "tend and befriend" hormone is not produced unless we're present with all five senses.” [Gloria Steinem](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/gloria-steinem/) ## About This Quote This interpretation was drafted with AI assistance. It is one reading of the quote, not the author's own explanation. Empathy relies on physical presence because sensory cues trigger oxytocin release, which underpins the “tend and befriend” response. **In simple terms:** Physical presence triggers empathy hormones. Key Takeaway Foster face‑to‑face connections. Themes empathy biology human connection Mood reflective empathetic Type advice psychology When to use this quote - team meetings - counseling sessions - conflict resolution - education - healthcare Key Concepts oxytocin social bonding neuroscience Questions to Reflect On - How can virtual interactions be made more embodied? - What sensory cues most affect empathy? A Different Perspective Remote communication lacks the sensory richness needed for full empathic response. ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ No ratings yet [Befriend Hormone](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/befriend-hormone-5520134/) [Empathize](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/empathize/) [Empathize Unless](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/empathize-unless-5520136/) [Five](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/five/) [Five senses](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/five-senses/) [Hormones](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/hormones/) [Oxytocin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/oxytocin/) [Oxytocin Famous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/oxytocin-famous-5520135/) [Senses](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/senses/) [Turns](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/turns/) ## Related quotes > [I hope readers will consider, especially in this age of the World Wide Web, that as miraculous as it is, we still need to…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gloria-steinem/i-hope-readers-will-consider-especially-in-this-age-of-the-world-wide/) [Gloria Steinem](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/gloria-steinem/) > [“if I had to name the most important discovery of my life, it would be the portable community of talking circles; groups that gather…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gloria-steinem/if-i-had-to-name-the-most-important-discovery-of-my-life-it-would-be/) [Gloria Steinem](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/gloria-steinem/) > [ \[On the Internet and activism:\] The danger of the Internet is cocooning with the like-minded online - of sending an email or twitter and… ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gloria-steinem/on-the-internet-and-activism-the-danger-of-the-internet-is-cocooning/) [Gloria Steinem](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/gloria-steinem/) > [“When we make a positive social connection, the pleasure-inducing hormone oxytocin is released into our bloodstream, immediately reducing anxiety and improving concentration and focus.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/shawn-achor/when-we-make-a-positive-social-connection-the-pleasure-inducing/) [Shawn Achor](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/shawn-achor/) > [Oxytocin is the hormone of love. We share it when we have a good conversation, we share it when we make love, and when…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/robin-lim/oxytocin-is-the-hormone-of-love-we-share-it-when-we-have-a-good/) [Robin Lim](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/robin-lim/) > [“Thus, oxytocin and vasopressin facilitate bonding between parent and child and between couples.fn10 Now for something truly charming that evolution has cooked up recently.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/robert-m-sapolsky/thus-oxytocin-and-vasopressin-facilitate-bonding-between-parent-and/) [Robert M. Sapolsky](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/robert-m-sapolsky/) > [When you massage someone, the levels of oxytocin go up in the brain, and oxytocin is one of the chemicals that drives attachment.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/helen-fisher/when-you-massage-someone-the-levels-of-oxytocin-go-up-in-the-brain/) [Helen Fisher](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/helen-fisher/) > [“For starters, circulating oxytocin levels are elevated in couples when they’ve first hooked up. Furthermore, the higher the levels, the more physical affection, the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/robert-m-sapolsky/for-starters-circulating-oxytocin-levels-are-elevated-in-couples-when/) [Robert M. Sapolsky](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/robert-m-sapolsky/) > [“…Love is physiologically a legal battle that lovers fight until death.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/farooq-a-shiekh/love-is-physiologically-a-legal-battle-that-lovers-fight-until-death/) [Farooq A. Shiekh](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/farooq-a-shiekh/) > [“Infuse oxytocin into the brain of a virgin rat, and she’ll act maternally—retrieving, grooming, and licking pups. Block the actions of oxytocin in a…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/robert-m-sapolsky/infuse-oxytocin-into-the-brain-of-a-virgin-rat-and-she-ll-act/) [Robert M. Sapolsky](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/robert-m-sapolsky/) > [It is important to understand that while oxytocin may be the hub of the evolution of the social brain in mammals, it is part…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/patricia-churchland/it-is-important-to-understand-that-while-oxytocin-may-be-the-hub-of/) [Patricia Churchland](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/patricia-churchland/) > [“Watoto hupenda vitu vinavyong’aa ambavyo havijatulia na vilivyopangiliwa vizuri. Hivyo ndivyo macho ya binadamu yalivyo: yana unyevu na yanaakisi mwanga, hayajatulia, na yana rangi…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/enock-maregesi/watoto-hupenda-vitu-vinavyong-aa-ambavyo-havijatulia-na/) [Enock Maregesi](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/enock-maregesi/) > [Oxytocin is a Teflon hormone - bad news rolls off it.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/robert-m-sapolsky/oxytocin-is-a-teflon-hormone-bad-news-rolls-off-it/) [Robert M. Sapolsky](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/robert-m-sapolsky/) > [Of course, if 40% of women need oxytocin to progress normally, then something is wrong with the definition of normal.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/henci-goer/of-course-if-40-of-women-need-oxytocin-to-progress-normally-then/) [Henci Goer](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/henci-goer/) > [“oxytocin is the “god hormone.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/james-altucher/oxytocin-is-the-god-hormone/) [James Altucher](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/james-altucher/) ## More by Gloria Steinem > [People waste more time waiting for someone to take charge of their lives than they do in any other pursuit.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gloria-steinem/people-waste-more-time-waiting-for-someone-to-take-charge-of-their/) [Gloria Steinem](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/gloria-steinem/) > [Nothing will happen automatically. Change depends on what you and I do every day.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gloria-steinem/nothing-will-happen-automatically-change-depends-on-what-you-and-i-do/) [Gloria Steinem](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/gloria-steinem/) > [Women are never again going to be mindless coffee-makers or mindless policy-makers in politics.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gloria-steinem/women-are-never-again-going-to-be-mindless-coffee-makers-or-mindless/) [Gloria Steinem](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/gloria-steinem/) > [The state of female artists is very good. But the very definition of art has been biased in that 'art' was what men did…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gloria-steinem/the-state-of-female-artists-is-very-good-but-the-very-definition-of/) [Gloria Steinem](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/gloria-steinem/) > [We will live to see the day that St. Patrick's Cathedral is a child-care center and the pope is no longer a disgrace to…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gloria-steinem/we-will-live-to-see-the-day-that-st-patrick-s-cathedral-is-a-child/) [Gloria Steinem](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/gloria-steinem/) > [Just when you thought multi-nationals and crazed consumerism were too big to fight, along comes Naomi Klein with facts, spirit, and news of successful…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gloria-steinem/just-when-you-thought-multi-nationals-and-crazed-consumerism-were-too/) [Gloria Steinem](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/gloria-steinem/) > [I don't know Beyoncé, but I have the impression that she's sincere, that she really is a feminist and wanted to put the word…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gloria-steinem/i-don-t-know-beyonc-but-i-have-the-impression-that-she-s-sincere-that/) [Gloria Steinem](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/gloria-steinem/) > [I started out life as a writer, and writers write in part because they don't want to talk.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gloria-steinem/i-started-out-life-as-a-writer-and-writers-write-in-part-because-they/) [Gloria Steinem](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/gloria-steinem/) > [Proust's tea cake has nothing on one hour in a college dorm.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gloria-steinem/proust-s-tea-cake-has-nothing-on-one-hour-in-a-college-dorm/) [Gloria Steinem](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/gloria-steinem/) > [Sadomasochiasm - which we know very well doesn't exist in societies that don't have child abuse - is regarded some sort of natural sexual…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gloria-steinem/sadomasochiasm-which-we-know-very-well-doesn-t-exist-in-societies/) [Gloria Steinem](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/gloria-steinem/) > [Behave like everything you do matters.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gloria-steinem/behave-like-everything-you-do-matters/) [Gloria Steinem](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/gloria-steinem/) > [“Part of traveling over years means coming back to the same place and knowing it for the first time.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gloria-steinem/part-of-traveling-over-years-means-coming-back-to-the-same-place-and/) [Gloria Steinem](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/gloria-steinem/) > [If you say, I'm for equal pay, that's a reform. But if you say. I'm a feminist, that's a transformation of society.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gloria-steinem/if-you-say-i-m-for-equal-pay-that-s-a-reform-but-if-you-say-i-m-a/) [Gloria Steinem](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/gloria-steinem/) > [I think that part of everybody's success is due to their looks, but it just works in different ways. If you're whatever society calls…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gloria-steinem/i-think-that-part-of-everybody-s-success-is-due-to-their-looks-but-it/) [Gloria Steinem](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/gloria-steinem/) > [Of course, we can change. We're very adaptable. But it takes a while.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gloria-steinem/of-course-we-can-change-we-re-very-adaptable-but-it-takes-a-while/) [Gloria Steinem](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/gloria-steinem/) [Explore all 766 Gloria Steinem quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/gloria-steinem/) ## More Empathize quotes > [ I can empathize with President \[George Bush\]. I know what it feels like having a young guy waiting around for you to keel over. ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/johnny-carson/i-can-empathize-with-president-george-bush-i-know-what-it-feels-like/) [Johnny Carson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/johnny-carson/) > [To empathize means to share, to experience the feelings of another person.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ralph-greenson/to-empathize-means-to-share-to-experience-the-feelings-of-another/) [Ralph Greenson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ralph-greenson/) > [I think when see you a character on the screen who is actually being touched by the world, and the stuff is actually landing…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/martin-freeman/i-think-when-see-you-a-character-on-the-screen-who-is-actually-being/) [Martin Freeman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/martin-freeman/) > [I empathize with players. In our culture it is all about strategies and interventions to help the individual based on their individual needs. It…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/emma-hayes/i-empathize-with-players-in-our-culture-it-is-all-about-strategies/) [Emma Hayes](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/emma-hayes/) > [I think with any characterization there's a point where you empathize, no matter how much of a deviance his or her actions may be…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/benedict-cumberbatch/i-think-with-any-characterization-there-s-a-point-where-you-empathize/) [Benedict Cumberbatch](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/benedict-cumberbatch/) > [ Our best hope for the future \[...\] lies in an appreciation of the fact that, even if we don’t empathize with distant strangers, their… ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/paul-bloom/our-best-hope-for-the-future-lies-in-an-appreciation-of-the-fact-that/) [Paul Bloom](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/paul-bloom/) > [It's hard to get people to empathize with the poor. You can get some people to sympathize with the poor, but to empathize is…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sendhil-mullainathan/it-s-hard-to-get-people-to-empathize-with-the-poor-you-can-get-some/) [Sendhil Mullainathan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sendhil-mullainathan/) > [When you truly empathize with someone, you have to take into account all the things that make that person who they are.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/tarana-burke/when-you-truly-empathize-with-someone-you-have-to-take-into-account/) [Tarana Burke](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/tarana-burke/) > [“When I empathize, I feel the frailty and transitory nature of another's existence. To empathize is to root for the other to flourish and…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jeremy-rifkin/when-i-empathize-i-feel-the-frailty-and-transitory-nature-of-another/) [Jeremy Rifkin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jeremy-rifkin/) > [Imagination is the power that enables us to empathize with humans whose experiences we have never shared.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/j-k-rowling-2/imagination-is-the-power-that-enables-us-to-empathize-with-humans/) [J. K. Rowling](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/j-k-rowling-2/) > [I feel like you can't really be truthful as an artist and empathize with the human experience, unless you know your truth and you're…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/diane-guerrero/i-feel-like-you-can-t-really-be-truthful-as-an-artist-and-empathize/) [Diane Guerrero](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/diane-guerrero/) > [“...those who choose not to empathize enable real monsters.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/j-k-rowling/those-who-choose-not-to-empathize-enable-real-monsters/) [J.K. Rowling](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/j-k-rowling/) > [The story is a machine for empathy. In contrast to logic or reason, a story is about emotion that gets staged over a sequence…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ira-glass/the-story-is-a-machine-for-empathy-in-contrast-to-logic-or-reason-a/) [Ira Glass](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ira-glass/) > [I hope readers will consider, especially in this age of the World Wide Web, that as miraculous as it is, we still need to…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gloria-steinem/i-hope-readers-will-consider-especially-in-this-age-of-the-world-wide/) [Gloria Steinem](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/gloria-steinem/) > [“recent research has shown that when we empathize, the brain activates many of the same networks as when we ourselves experience pain, physical or…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/richard-j-davidson/recent-research-has-shown-that-when-we-empathize-the-brain-activates/) [Richard J. Davidson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/richard-j-davidson/) [Browse all 108 Empathize quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/empathize/) ```json { "@context": "https://schema.org", "@graph": [ { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "It turns out that we literally don't empathize unless we're physically present - that the oxytocin, the famous \"tend and befriend\" hormone is not produced unless we're present with all five senses.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Gloria Steinem" }, "isPartOf": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gloria-steinem/it-turns-out-that-we-literally-don-t-empathize-unless-we-re/", "about": { "@type": "Thing", "name": "Empathize" }, "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gloria-steinem/it-turns-out-that-we-literally-don-t-empathize-unless-we-re/#quotation", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/a61/gloria-steinem-277_empathize_it-turns-out-that-we-literally-don-t-emp_3127933.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/a61/gloria-steinem-277_empathize_it-turns-out-that-we-literally-don-t-emp_3127933.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/a61/gloria-steinem-277_empathize_it-turns-out-that-we-literally-don-t-emp_3127933.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“It turns out that we literally don't empathize unless we're physically present - that the oxytocin, the…” — Gloria Steinem", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } }, { "@type": "BreadcrumbList", "itemListElement": [ { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 1, "name": "Home", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/" }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 2, "name": "Quotes", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/" }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 3, "name": "Gloria Steinem", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/gloria-steinem/" }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 4, "name": "It turns out that we literally...", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gloria-steinem/it-turns-out-that-we-literally-don-t-empathize-unless-we-re/" } ], "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gloria-steinem/it-turns-out-that-we-literally-don-t-empathize-unless-we-re/#breadcrumb" }, { "@type": "WebSite", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website", "name": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/", "publisher": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } }, { "@type": "Organization", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization", "name": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/", "logo": { "@type": "ImageObject", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wp-content/themes/sq/assets/icons/icon-512.png", "width": 512, "height": 512 } } ] } ```