--- title: "Meaning & Key Takeaway of: Even a man who courts a maid thinking he…" description: "\"“Even a man who courts a maid thinking he has no rivals has one, and that one is herself. She may give herself to him, but she may also choose to keep ..." image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/27f/gene-wolfe-2530_maid_even-a-man-who-courts-a-maid-thinking-he_2336520.jpg" --- # Even a man who courts a maid thinking he has no rivals has… ![“Even a man who courts a maid thinking he has no rivals has one, and that one is herself. She may give herself to him, but she may also choose to keep herself for herself. He has to convince her that she will be happier with him than by herself, and though men convince maids of that often, it isn't…” quote by Gene Wolfe](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/27f/gene-wolfe-2530_maid_even-a-man-who-courts-a-maid-thinking-he_2336520.jpg) [Download](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/27f/gene-wolfe-2530_maid_even-a-man-who-courts-a-maid-thinking-he_2336520.jpg) [Open image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/27f/gene-wolfe-2530_maid_even-a-man-who-courts-a-maid-thinking-he_2336520.jpg) > ““Even a man who courts a maid thinking he has no rivals has one, and that one is herself. She may give herself to him, but she may also choose to keep herself for herself. He has to convince her that she will be happier with him than by herself, and though men convince maids of that often, it isn't often true.”” [Gene Wolfe](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/gene-wolfe/) ## About This Quote This interpretation was drafted with AI assistance. It is one reading of the quote, not the author's own explanation. Explores a man’s attempt to win a woman’s love, noting she may prefer independence, and men often misjudge her desires. **In simple terms:** Men assume they can convince women to choose them over self‑reliance. Key Takeaway Respect her autonomy. Themes love autonomy misconception Mood thoughtful cautious Type philosophical relationship When to use this quote - courtship - relationship counseling - personal boundaries Key Concepts gender dynamics relationship psychology Questions to Reflect On - How can you honor a partner’s independence? - What signals indicate genuine mutual desire? A Different Perspective May oversimplify complex relationships. ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ No ratings yet [Convince Maids](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/convince-maids-5639564/) [Maid](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/maid/) [Maid Thinking](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/maid-thinking-5639565/) [Relationships](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/relationships/) [Rivals Choose](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/rivals-choose-5639566/) [Thinking Rivals](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/thinking-rivals-5639567/) ## Related quotes > [No lusting after your neighbor's house - or wife or servant or maid or ox or donkey. Don't set your heart on anything that…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/moses/no-lusting-after-your-neighbor-s-house-or-wife-or-servant-or-maid-or/) [Moses](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/moses/) > [I have a maid.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ryan-murphy/i-have-a-maid/) [Ryan Murphy](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ryan-murphy/) > [“I am convinced that "all ladies are not the same". Some have pretty faces, others have beautiful characters. Some have facial make-ups, others have…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/israelmore-ayivor/i-am-convinced-that-all-ladies-are-not-the-same-some-have-pretty/) [Israelmore Ayivor](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/israelmore-ayivor/) > [There are so many huge roles in the theatre: if you've got the option to play Hedda Gabler on stage, why wouldn't you choose…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/eve-best/there-are-so-many-huge-roles-in-the-theatre-if-you-ve-got-the-option/) [Eve Best](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/eve-best/) > [When one of my Japanese teacups is broken, I imagine that the real cause was not the careless hand of a maid but the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/fernando-pessoa/when-one-of-my-japanese-teacups-is-broken-i-imagine-that-the-real/) [Fernando Pessoa](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/fernando-pessoa/) > [I've given every maid I've portrayed soul and heart.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lupe-ontiveros/i-ve-given-every-maid-i-ve-portrayed-soul-and-heart/) [Lupe Ontiveros](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lupe-ontiveros/) > [“Cosmé is in constant attendance. Though no one will take Aneaxi’s place, Cosmé is the most efficient maid I’ve ever had. I tell her…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/rae-carson/cosm-is-in-constant-attendance-though-no-one-will-take-aneaxi-s-place/) [Rae Carson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/rae-carson/) > [Be good, sweet maid, and let who will be clever.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/charles-kingsley/be-good-sweet-maid-and-let-who-will-be-clever/) [Charles Kingsley](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/charles-kingsley/) > [The maid that loves goes out to sea upon a shattered plank, and puts her trust in miracles for safety.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/edward-young/the-maid-that-loves-goes-out-to-sea-upon-a-shattered-plank-and-puts/) [Edward Young](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/edward-young/) > [It's worth living abroad to study up on genteel and delicate manners. The maid smiles continuously; she smiles like a duchess on a stage,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anton-chekhov/it-s-worth-living-abroad-to-study-up-on-genteel-and-delicate-manners/) [Anton Chekhov](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anton-chekhov/) > [My nan was a nursery maid. Most people weren't in big houses. They were maids of all work.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sarah-waters/my-nan-was-a-nursery-maid-most-people-weren-t-in-big-houses-they-were/) [Sarah Waters](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sarah-waters/) > [The only game I like to play is "Old Maid", providing she's not too old](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/groucho-marx/the-only-game-i-like-to-play-is-old-maid-providing-she-s-not-too-old/) [Groucho Marx](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/groucho-marx/) > [My mother worked as a maid, cleaning the fraternity dorm of the local college.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/roger-ross-williams/my-mother-worked-as-a-maid-cleaning-the-fraternity-dorm-of-the-local/) [Roger Ross Williams](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/roger-ross-williams/) > [ Shigure Sohma: \[got Tohru a maid costume for White Day\] I can't wait to for her to call me master while wearing this. Hatsuharu… ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/natsuki-takaya/shigure-sohma-got-tohru-a-maid-costume-for-white-day-i-can-t-wait-to/) [Natsuki Takaya](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/natsuki-takaya/) > [I don't see myself as any different from all the other Filipinos who have gone abroad looking for opportunity, to be a nurse, a…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/miguel-syjuco/i-don-t-see-myself-as-any-different-from-all-the-other-filipinos-who/) [Miguel Syjuco](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/miguel-syjuco/) ## More by Gene Wolfe > [Some writers say they cannot write in front of a window; many say they cannot function without almost perfect quiet. A writer with only…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gene-wolfe/some-writers-say-they-cannot-write-in-front-of-a-window-many-say-they/) [Gene Wolfe](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/gene-wolfe/) > [“Sometimes driven aground by the photon storms, by the swirling of the galaxies, clockwise and counterclockwise, ticking with light down the dark sea-corridors lined…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gene-wolfe/sometimes-driven-aground-by-the-photon-storms-by-the-swirling-of-the/) [Gene Wolfe](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/gene-wolfe/) > [Ambiguity is necessary in some of my stories, not in all. In those, it certainly contributes to the richness of the story. I doubt…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gene-wolfe/ambiguity-is-necessary-in-some-of-my-stories-not-in-all-in-those-it/) [Gene Wolfe](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/gene-wolfe/) > [“There are beings—and artifacts—against which we batter our intelligence raw, and in the end make peace with reality only by saying, “It was an…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gene-wolfe/there-are-beings-and-artifacts-against-which-we-batter-our/) [Gene Wolfe](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/gene-wolfe/) > [Science has so accustomed us to devising and accepting theories to account for the facts we observe, however fantastic, that our minds must begin…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gene-wolfe/science-has-so-accustomed-us-to-devising-and-accepting-theories-to/) [Gene Wolfe](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/gene-wolfe/) > [“The experienced feel love or desire, or both. The inexperienced are sick with a thousand feelings, most of them unformed: fearful that they may…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gene-wolfe/the-experienced-feel-love-or-desire-or-both-the-inexperienced-are/) [Gene Wolfe](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/gene-wolfe/) > [“For those who have never attended a science fiction convention, masquerades are features of most of the larger ones. Awards are presented for best…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gene-wolfe/for-those-who-have-never-attended-a-science-fiction-convention/) [Gene Wolfe](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/gene-wolfe/) > [“He had a wild yellow beard and long, tangled hair that stood out from his head in a way that made it seem too…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gene-wolfe/he-had-a-wild-yellow-beard-and-long-tangled-hair-that-stood-out-from/) [Gene Wolfe](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/gene-wolfe/) > [ ...in some situations winning consist\[s\] of disentangling oneself. ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gene-wolfe/in-some-situations-winning-consist-s-of-disentangling-oneself/) [Gene Wolfe](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/gene-wolfe/) > [“For after all, if the lives of most men are examined in detail, it will be found that they have been experts of immense…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gene-wolfe/for-after-all-if-the-lives-of-most-men-are-examined-in-detail-it-will/) [Gene Wolfe](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/gene-wolfe/) > [You never learn how to write a novel. You just learn how to write the novel that you're writing.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gene-wolfe/you-never-learn-how-to-write-a-novel-you-just-learn-how-to-write-the/) [Gene Wolfe](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/gene-wolfe/) > [There is no magic. There is only knowledge, more or less hidden.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gene-wolfe/there-is-no-magic-there-is-only-knowledge-more-or-less-hidden/) [Gene Wolfe](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/gene-wolfe/) > [“...the progress of science depends much less upon either theoretical considerations or systematic investigation than is commonly believed, but rather on the transmittal of…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gene-wolfe/the-progress-of-science-depends-much-less-upon-either-theoretical/) [Gene Wolfe](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/gene-wolfe/) > [“Whatever we may say, all of us suffer from disturbed sleep at times. Some in truth hardly sleep, though some who sleep copiously swear…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gene-wolfe/whatever-we-may-say-all-of-us-suffer-from-disturbed-sleep-at-times/) [Gene Wolfe](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/gene-wolfe/) > [“. . .Consciousness came and went. Consciousness went and came like the errant winds of spring, and I, who so often have had difficulty…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gene-wolfe/consciousness-came-and-went-consciousness-went-and-came-like-the/) [Gene Wolfe](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/gene-wolfe/) [Explore all 160 Gene Wolfe quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/gene-wolfe/) ## More Maid quotes > [No lusting after your neighbor's house - or wife or servant or maid or ox or donkey. Don't set your heart on anything that…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/moses/no-lusting-after-your-neighbor-s-house-or-wife-or-servant-or-maid-or/) [Moses](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/moses/) > [ Shigure Sohma: \[got Tohru a maid costume for White Day\] I can't wait to for her to call me master while wearing this. Hatsuharu… ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/natsuki-takaya/shigure-sohma-got-tohru-a-maid-costume-for-white-day-i-can-t-wait-to/) [Natsuki Takaya](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/natsuki-takaya/) > [My mother worked as a maid, cleaning the fraternity dorm of the local college.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/roger-ross-williams/my-mother-worked-as-a-maid-cleaning-the-fraternity-dorm-of-the-local/) [Roger Ross Williams](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/roger-ross-williams/) > [The only game I like to play is "Old Maid", providing she's not too old](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/groucho-marx/the-only-game-i-like-to-play-is-old-maid-providing-she-s-not-too-old/) [Groucho Marx](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/groucho-marx/) > [My nan was a nursery maid. Most people weren't in big houses. They were maids of all work.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sarah-waters/my-nan-was-a-nursery-maid-most-people-weren-t-in-big-houses-they-were/) [Sarah Waters](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sarah-waters/) > [It's worth living abroad to study up on genteel and delicate manners. The maid smiles continuously; she smiles like a duchess on a stage,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anton-chekhov/it-s-worth-living-abroad-to-study-up-on-genteel-and-delicate-manners/) [Anton Chekhov](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anton-chekhov/) > [The maid that loves goes out to sea upon a shattered plank, and puts her trust in miracles for safety.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/edward-young/the-maid-that-loves-goes-out-to-sea-upon-a-shattered-plank-and-puts/) [Edward Young](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/edward-young/) > [Be good, sweet maid, and let who will be clever.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/charles-kingsley/be-good-sweet-maid-and-let-who-will-be-clever/) [Charles Kingsley](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/charles-kingsley/) > [“Cosmé is in constant attendance. Though no one will take Aneaxi’s place, Cosmé is the most efficient maid I’ve ever had. I tell her…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/rae-carson/cosm-is-in-constant-attendance-though-no-one-will-take-aneaxi-s-place/) [Rae Carson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/rae-carson/) > [I've given every maid I've portrayed soul and heart.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lupe-ontiveros/i-ve-given-every-maid-i-ve-portrayed-soul-and-heart/) [Lupe Ontiveros](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lupe-ontiveros/) > [When one of my Japanese teacups is broken, I imagine that the real cause was not the careless hand of a maid but the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/fernando-pessoa/when-one-of-my-japanese-teacups-is-broken-i-imagine-that-the-real/) [Fernando Pessoa](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/fernando-pessoa/) > [There are so many huge roles in the theatre: if you've got the option to play Hedda Gabler on stage, why wouldn't you choose…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/eve-best/there-are-so-many-huge-roles-in-the-theatre-if-you-ve-got-the-option/) [Eve Best](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/eve-best/) > [“I am convinced that "all ladies are not the same". Some have pretty faces, others have beautiful characters. Some have facial make-ups, others have…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/israelmore-ayivor/i-am-convinced-that-all-ladies-are-not-the-same-some-have-pretty/) [Israelmore Ayivor](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/israelmore-ayivor/) > [I have a maid.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ryan-murphy/i-have-a-maid/) [Ryan Murphy](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ryan-murphy/) > [I don't see myself as any different from all the other Filipinos who have gone abroad looking for opportunity, to be a nurse, a…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/miguel-syjuco/i-don-t-see-myself-as-any-different-from-all-the-other-filipinos-who/) [Miguel Syjuco](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/miguel-syjuco/) [Browse all 125 Maid quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/maid/) ```json { "@context": "https://schema.org", "@graph": [ { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "“Even a man who courts a maid thinking he has no rivals has one, and that one is herself. 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