--- title: "Meaning & Key Takeaway of: I have been doing marriage counseling for…" description: "\"I have been doing marriage counseling for about 15 years and I realized that what makes one person feel loved, doesn't make another person feel loved.\"..." image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/14f/gary-chapman-1325_about_i-have-been-doing-marriage-counseling-fo_2840785.png" --- # I have been doing marriage counseling for about 15 years… ![“I have been doing marriage counseling for about 15 years and I realized that what makes one person feel loved, doesn't make another person feel loved.” quote by Gary Chapman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/14f/gary-chapman-1325_about_i-have-been-doing-marriage-counseling-fo_2840785.png) [Download](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/14f/gary-chapman-1325_about_i-have-been-doing-marriage-counseling-fo_2840785.png) [Open image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/14f/gary-chapman-1325_about_i-have-been-doing-marriage-counseling-fo_2840785.png) > “I have been doing marriage counseling for about 15 years and I realized that what makes one person feel loved, doesn't make another person feel loved.” [Gary Chapman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/gary-chapman/) ## About This Quote This interpretation was drafted with AI assistance. It is one reading of the quote, not the author's own explanation. People have different ways of feeling loved; one size doesn’t fit all. **In simple terms:** Love languages differ per person. Key Takeaway Learn your partner’s love language. Themes relationships communication love languages Mood intimate educational Type relationship self-help When to use this quote - dating - marriage counseling - conflict resolution Key Concepts empathy personalization relationship counseling Questions to Reflect On - What makes you feel loved? - How do you express love? A Different Perspective Assuming one love style works for everyone can cause miscommunication. ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ No ratings yet [About](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/about/) [Age](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/age/) [Another](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/another/) [Been](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/been/) [Counseling](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/counseling/) [Counseling 15](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/counseling-15-3723060/) [Doing](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/doing/) [Doing Marriage](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/doing-marriage-1902975/) [Feel](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/feel/) [Feel Loved](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/feel-loved/) [Feels](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/feels/) [Has beens](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/has-beens/) [I realized](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/i-realized/) [Love](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/love/) [Loved](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/loved/) [Make](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/make/) [Makes](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/makes/) [Marriage](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/marriage/) [Marriage Counseling](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/marriage-counseling-931022/) [Person](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/person/) [Persons](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/persons/) [Realized](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/realized/) [Years](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/years/) ## Related quotes > [One of the things I discover a lot in marriage counseling is the husband or wife trying to get their spiritual thirst quenched by…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/max-lucado/one-of-the-things-i-discover-a-lot-in-marriage-counseling-is-the/) [Max Lucado](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/max-lucado/) > [For a long time, I have been wanting to write a book for singles that would help them in the dating process and in…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gary-chapman/for-a-long-time-i-have-been-wanting-to-write-a-book-for-singles-that/) [Gary Chapman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/gary-chapman/) > [I come from divorce. I'm only doing marriage once. It's not a game for me.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/shia-labeouf/i-come-from-divorce-i-m-only-doing-marriage-once-it-s-not-a-game-for/) [Shia LaBeouf](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/shia-labeouf/) > [“Brandi and I struggled with our marriage, but it was obvious we were falling apart as a couple. That was probably clear to me…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/noah-galloway/brandi-and-i-struggled-with-our-marriage-but-it-was-obvious-we-were/) [Noah Galloway](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/noah-galloway/) > [“WE EXPECT COUNSELING centers with their commitments to healing and their high degree of training to be community oases. When those values are violated,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gary-chapman/we-expect-counseling-centers-with-their-commitments-to-healing-and/) [Gary Chapman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/gary-chapman/) > [Before I discovered the concept of the 5 love languages, a bit of advice I was given was to become a student of my…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gary-chapman/before-i-discovered-the-concept-of-the-5-love-languages-a-bit-of/) [Gary Chapman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/gary-chapman/) > [Love can be expressed and received in all five languages. However, if you don't speak a person's primary love language, that person will not…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gary-chapman/love-can-be-expressed-and-received-in-all-five-languages-however-if/) [Gary Chapman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/gary-chapman/) > [All of us blossom when we feel loved and wither when we do not feel loved.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gary-chapman/all-of-us-blossom-when-we-feel-loved-and-wither-when-we-do-not-feel/) [Gary Chapman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/gary-chapman/) > [What is emotional intimacy? It is that depp sense of being connected to one another. It is feeling loved, respected and appreciated, while at…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gary-chapman/what-is-emotional-intimacy-it-is-that-depp-sense-of-being-connected/) [Gary Chapman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/gary-chapman/) > [“Discovering your own love language helps you understand why you feel more loved and appreciated by certain people than you do.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gary-chapman/discovering-your-own-love-language-helps-you-understand-why-you-feel/) [Gary Chapman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/gary-chapman/) > [When you're married, the person you would most like to love you is your spouse. And if you feel loved by your spouse, the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gary-chapman/when-you-re-married-the-person-you-would-most-like-to-love-you-is/) [Gary Chapman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/gary-chapman/) > [The state of Indiana has also sought to make sure we expand alternatives in healthcare counseling for women, non-abortion alternatives, and I'm also very…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mike-pence/the-state-of-indiana-has-also-sought-to-make-sure-we-expand/) [Mike Pence](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mike-pence/) > [“The Crucified is the One most traumatized. He has borne the World Trade Center. He has carried the Iraq war, the destruction in Syria,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/diane-langberg/the-crucified-is-the-one-most-traumatized-he-has-borne-the-world/) [Diane Langberg](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/diane-langberg/) > [The American people intuitively understand this, which is why the majority of Catholics practice birth control and some of those opposed to gay marriage…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/barack-obama/the-american-people-intuitively-understand-this-which-is-why-the/) [Barack Obama](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/barack-obama/) > [“Author says her father was so diplomatic that when people came to him for solutions, people not only accepted them, but they believed they…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/immaculee-ilibagiza/author-says-her-father-was-so-diplomatic-that-when-people-came-to-him/) [Immaculee Ilibagiza](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/immaculee-ilibagiza/) ## More by Gary Chapman > [Marriages are always moving from one season to another. Sometimes we find ourselves in winter--discouraged, detached, and dissatisfied; other times we experience springtime, with…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gary-chapman/marriages-are-always-moving-from-one-season-to-another-sometimes-we/) [Gary Chapman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/gary-chapman/) > [Something in our nature cries out to be loved by another. Isolation is devastating to the human psyche. That is why solitary confinement is…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gary-chapman/something-in-our-nature-cries-out-to-be-loved-by-another-isolation-is/) [Gary Chapman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/gary-chapman/) > [Most of us have more potential than we will ever develop. What holds us back is often a lack of courage.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gary-chapman/most-of-us-have-more-potential-than-we-will-ever-develop-what-holds/) [Gary Chapman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/gary-chapman/) > [On the other hand, if I walk in the house, I don't even bother to find her, I just walk in the den and…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gary-chapman/on-the-other-hand-if-i-walk-in-the-house-i-don-t-even-bother-to-find/) [Gary Chapman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/gary-chapman/) > [“I look for three things in hiring people. The first is personal integrity, the second is intelligence, and the third is a high energy…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gary-chapman/i-look-for-three-things-in-hiring-people-the-first-is-personal/) [Gary Chapman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/gary-chapman/) > [Love is always freely given. Love cannot be demanded. We can request things of each other, but we must never demand anything. Requests give…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gary-chapman/love-is-always-freely-given-love-cannot-be-demanded-we-can-request/) [Gary Chapman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/gary-chapman/) > [“Psychologist William James said that possibly the deepest human need is the need to feel appreciated.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gary-chapman/psychologist-william-james-said-that-possibly-the-deepest-human-need/) [Gary Chapman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/gary-chapman/) > [I think that in today's world, by nature, we are all self-centered. And that often leads to selfishness.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gary-chapman/i-think-that-in-today-s-world-by-nature-we-are-all-self-centered-and/) [Gary Chapman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/gary-chapman/) > [Sometimes when the spouse is really the culprit, it is hard to admit what you consider your little failures, but if you are going…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gary-chapman/sometimes-when-the-spouse-is-really-the-culprit-it-is-hard-to-admit/) [Gary Chapman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/gary-chapman/) > [“There is a third truth, which only the mature lover will be able to hear. My spouse’s criticisms about my behavior provide me with…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gary-chapman/there-is-a-third-truth-which-only-the-mature-lover-will-be-able-to/) [Gary Chapman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/gary-chapman/) > [ The getting out part \[of advise\] may well be true. Because if you have tried the tender love thing... typically the abuser is not… ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gary-chapman/the-getting-out-part-of-advise-may-well-be-true-because-if-you-have/) [Gary Chapman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/gary-chapman/) > [ I wrote this book \[ Desperate Marriages\] because of my own marriage. My wife and I struggled greatly in the early years of marriage.… ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gary-chapman/i-wrote-this-book-desperate-marriages-because-of-my-own-marriage-my/) [Gary Chapman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/gary-chapman/) > [As a senior in high school, I had a strong sense that God wanted me in some kind of ministry.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gary-chapman/as-a-senior-in-high-school-i-had-a-strong-sense-that-god-wanted-me-in/) [Gary Chapman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/gary-chapman/) > [We all desperately need love. If a spouse in a difficult marriage will learn the love language of that spouse, and they will, with…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gary-chapman/we-all-desperately-need-love-if-a-spouse-in-a-difficult-marriage-will/) [Gary Chapman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/gary-chapman/) > [“If acts of service do not come naturally for you, it is still a love language worth acquiring. It is a way of expressing…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gary-chapman/if-acts-of-service-do-not-come-naturally-for-you-it-is-still-a-love/) [Gary Chapman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/gary-chapman/) [Explore all 254 Gary Chapman quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/gary-chapman/) ## More About quotes > [If you ask an introvert a question, wait until she thinks about it. Introverts think before speaking, not through speaking. If you want to…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/laurie-helgoe/if-you-ask-an-introvert-a-question-wait-until-she-thinks-about-it/) [Laurie Helgoe](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/laurie-helgoe/) > [Joking about violence is not funny.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/perez-hilton/joking-about-violence-is-not-funny/) [Perez Hilton](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/perez-hilton/) > [I talk to my mates about our kids, being too tired and being worn out.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/holly-willoughby/i-talk-to-my-mates-about-our-kids-being-too-tired-and-being-worn-out/) [Holly Willoughby](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/holly-willoughby/) > [With 'Pretty Girls,' I saw the opportunity to talk not just about crime but what crime leaves behind.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/karin-slaughter/with-pretty-girls-i-saw-the-opportunity-to-talk-not-just-about-crime/) [Karin Slaughter](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/karin-slaughter/) > [I write about presidents. That means I write about guys - so far. I'm interested in the people closest to them, the people they…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/doris-kearns-goodwin/i-write-about-presidents-that-means-i-write-about-guys-so-far-i-m/) [Doris Kearns Goodwin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/doris-kearns-goodwin/) > [That's something a lot of folks don't know about me - I'm pretty darn funny.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/michael-jai-white/that-s-something-a-lot-of-folks-don-t-know-about-me-i-m-pretty-darn/) [Michael Jai White](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/michael-jai-white/) > [I learned a lot about myself at Oakmont.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/shane-lowry/i-learned-a-lot-about-myself-at-oakmont/) [Shane Lowry](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/shane-lowry/) > [I don't think about the press or the crowds or the other leaders of the race. The focus is only on myself. As soon…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/magdalena-neuner/i-don-t-think-about-the-press-or-the-crowds-or-the-other-leaders-of/) [Magdalena Neuner](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/magdalena-neuner/) > [Sport is not just about entertainment. It is equally about winning and losing, pooling and galvanising the energy of the youth, upgrading people's physical…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nita-ambani/sport-is-not-just-about-entertainment-it-is-equally-about-winning-and/) [Nita Ambani](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nita-ambani/) > [One of the ways that I discovered my confidence and my ability to overpower is becoming a mother. Suddenly, my world wasn't about myself…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lights/one-of-the-ways-that-i-discovered-my-confidence-and-my-ability-to/) [Lights](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lights/) > [I didn't want to do 'Fashion Police' because I thought, 'This is stupid, this is beneath me, who wants to talk about fashion?' It…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/joan-rivers/i-didn-t-want-to-do-fashion-police-because-i-thought-this-is-stupid/) [Joan Rivers](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/joan-rivers/) > [I just worried about my weight. Worried about my appearance and thought I wan't pretty enough to be a pop star. It was very…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/judith-durham/i-just-worried-about-my-weight-worried-about-my-appearance-and/) [Judith Durham](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/judith-durham/) > [I read a couple of books about neuroscience and the relationship between the mind and the body.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/joel-kinnaman/i-read-a-couple-of-books-about-neuroscience-and-the-relationship/) [Joel Kinnaman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/joel-kinnaman/) > [There are a lot of kids out there copying and distributing movies - not because they care about seeing the movies or sharing them…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-perry-barlow/there-are-a-lot-of-kids-out-there-copying-and-distributing-movies-not/) [John Perry Barlow](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-perry-barlow/) > [I have no physical genius about me. I can't dribble a ball and run at the same time, I can't do lay-ups - I'm…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/rich-mullins/i-have-no-physical-genius-about-me-i-can-t-dribble-a-ball-and-run-at/) [Rich Mullins](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/rich-mullins/) [Browse all 26,122 About quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/about/) ```json { "@context": "https://schema.org", "@graph": [ { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "I have been doing marriage counseling for about 15 years and I realized that what makes one person feel loved, doesn't make another person feel loved.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Gary Chapman" }, "isPartOf": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gary-chapman/i-have-been-doing-marriage-counseling-for-about-15-years-and-i/", "about": { "@type": "Thing", "name": "About" }, "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gary-chapman/i-have-been-doing-marriage-counseling-for-about-15-years-and-i/#quotation", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/14f/gary-chapman-1325_about_i-have-been-doing-marriage-counseling-fo_2840785.png", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/14f/gary-chapman-1325_about_i-have-been-doing-marriage-counseling-fo_2840785.png", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/14f/gary-chapman-1325_about_i-have-been-doing-marriage-counseling-fo_2840785.png", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“I have been doing marriage counseling for about 15 years and I realized that what makes one person feel…” — Gary Chapman", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } }, { "@type": "BreadcrumbList", "itemListElement": [ { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 1, "name": "Home", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/" }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 2, "name": "Quotes", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/" }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 3, "name": "Gary Chapman", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/gary-chapman/" }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 4, "name": "I have been doing marriage counseling...", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gary-chapman/i-have-been-doing-marriage-counseling-for-about-15-years-and-i/" } ], "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gary-chapman/i-have-been-doing-marriage-counseling-for-about-15-years-and-i/#breadcrumb" }, { "@type": "WebSite", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website", "name": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/", "publisher": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } }, { "@type": "Organization", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization", "name": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/", "logo": { "@type": "ImageObject", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wp-content/themes/sq/assets/icons/icon-512.png", "width": 512, "height": 512 } } ] } ```