--- title: "Meaning & Key Takeaway of: Before I discovered the concept of the 5…" description: "\"Before I discovered the concept of the 5 love languages, a bit of advice I was given was to become a student of my wife and to take time to learn what ..." image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/70d/gary-chapman-1325_advice_before-i-discovered-the-concept-of-the-5_2700525.jpg" --- # Before I discovered the concept of the 5 love languages, a… ![“Before I discovered the concept of the 5 love languages, a bit of advice I was given was to become a student of my wife and to take time to learn what makes her feel loved. I soon learned that what makes her feel loved may not always be the thing I want to do because it may not come natural to me…” quote by Gary Chapman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/70d/gary-chapman-1325_advice_before-i-discovered-the-concept-of-the-5_2700525.jpg) [Download](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/70d/gary-chapman-1325_advice_before-i-discovered-the-concept-of-the-5_2700525.jpg) [Open image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/70d/gary-chapman-1325_advice_before-i-discovered-the-concept-of-the-5_2700525.jpg) > “Before I discovered the concept of the 5 love languages, a bit of advice I was given was to become a student of my wife and to take time to learn what makes her feel loved. I soon learned that what makes her feel loved may not always be the thing I want to do because it may not come natural to me. But learning to love her in the way that makes her feel loved is a greater demonstration of my love for her, because I've chosen to do it with a goal of pleasing her.” [Gary Chapman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/gary-chapman/) ## About This Quote This interpretation was drafted with AI assistance. It is one reading of the quote, not the author's own explanation. Understanding a partner's love language requires effort and adaptation, showing love through actions that may feel unfamiliar. **In simple terms:** Love by adapting to your partner’s preferences. Key Takeaway Learn and practice their love language. Themes relationships communication empathy growth adaptation Mood thoughtful motivational Type advice reflective When to use this quote - marriage - dating - conflict resolution - personal development Key Concepts attachment theory emotional intelligence Questions to Reflect On - How can you make new habits feel authentic? - What small steps can you take to learn their language? 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Understanding the 5 love languages will give you…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gary-chapman/covenant-love-requires-two-factors-knowledge-of-the-nature-of-love/) [Gary Chapman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/gary-chapman/) > [I have been missing the point. The point is not knowing another person, or learning to love another person. The point is simply this:…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/rebecca-wells/i-have-been-missing-the-point-the-point-is-not-knowing-another-person/) [Rebecca Wells](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/rebecca-wells/) > [The one person who will never leave us, whom we will never lose, is ourself. Learning to love our female selves is where our…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bell-hooks/the-one-person-who-will-never-leave-us-whom-we-will-never-lose-is/) [Bell Hooks](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bell-hooks/) > [When did creating a flawless facade become a more vital goal than learning to love the person who lives inside your skin?](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ellen-hopkins/when-did-creating-a-flawless-facade-become-a-more-vital-goal-than/) [Ellen Hopkins](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ellen-hopkins/) > [If time is my vessel, then learning to love might be my way back to sea](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/paul-banks/if-time-is-my-vessel-then-learning-to-love-might-be-my-way-back-to-sea/) [Paul Banks](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/paul-banks/) > [If there's no one in your life to love right now, love yourself. A large part of the path of love is learning to…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/frederick-lenz/if-there-s-no-one-in-your-life-to-love-right-now-love-yourself-a/) [Frederick Lenz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/frederick-lenz/) > [If we would truly seek to be more like our Savior and Master, learning to love as He loves should be our highest goal](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ezra-taft-benson/if-we-would-truly-seek-to-be-more-like-our-savior-and-master-learning/) [Ezra Taft Benson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ezra-taft-benson/) > [Learning to love differently is hard, love with the hands wide open, love with the doors banging on their hinges, the cupboard unlocked, the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/marge-piercy/learning-to-love-differently-is-hard-love-with-the-hands-wide-open/) [Marge Piercy](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/marge-piercy/) > [They say learning to love yourself Is the first step That you take when you want to be real.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/tiesto/they-say-learning-to-love-yourself-is-the-first-step-that-you-take/) [Tiesto](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/tiesto/) > [Learning to listen to ourselves is a way of learning to love ourselves.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/joan-z-borysenko/learning-to-listen-to-ourselves-is-a-way-of-learning-to-love-ourselves/) [Joan Z. Borysenko](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/joan-z-borysenko/) > [Learning to love back is the hardest part of being alive.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anne-lamott/learning-to-love-back-is-the-hardest-part-of-being-alive/) [Anne Lamott](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anne-lamott/) > [The first step in learning to love others is the attempt to understand them.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/adrienne-von-speyr/the-first-step-in-learning-to-love-others-is-the-attempt-to/) [Adrienne von Speyr](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/adrienne-von-speyr/) > [There are many lessons to learn. Naming just one is next to impossible. However, learning to love and be loved is a good starting…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/faith-hill/there-are-many-lessons-to-learn-naming-just-one-is-next-to-impossible/) [Faith Hill](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/faith-hill/) > [I think you have to love yourself before you fall in love. I'm still learning to love myself.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/serena-williams/i-think-you-have-to-love-yourself-before-you-fall-in-love-i-m-still/) [Serena Williams](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/serena-williams/) ## More by Gary Chapman > [Marriages are always moving from one season to another. Sometimes we find ourselves in winter--discouraged, detached, and dissatisfied; other times we experience springtime, with…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gary-chapman/marriages-are-always-moving-from-one-season-to-another-sometimes-we/) [Gary Chapman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/gary-chapman/) > [Something in our nature cries out to be loved by another. Isolation is devastating to the human psyche. That is why solitary confinement is…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gary-chapman/something-in-our-nature-cries-out-to-be-loved-by-another-isolation-is/) [Gary Chapman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/gary-chapman/) > [Most of us have more potential than we will ever develop. What holds us back is often a lack of courage.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gary-chapman/most-of-us-have-more-potential-than-we-will-ever-develop-what-holds/) [Gary Chapman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/gary-chapman/) > [On the other hand, if I walk in the house, I don't even bother to find her, I just walk in the den and…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gary-chapman/on-the-other-hand-if-i-walk-in-the-house-i-don-t-even-bother-to-find/) [Gary Chapman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/gary-chapman/) > [“I look for three things in hiring people. The first is personal integrity, the second is intelligence, and the third is a high energy…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gary-chapman/i-look-for-three-things-in-hiring-people-the-first-is-personal/) [Gary Chapman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/gary-chapman/) > [Love is always freely given. Love cannot be demanded. We can request things of each other, but we must never demand anything. Requests give…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gary-chapman/love-is-always-freely-given-love-cannot-be-demanded-we-can-request/) [Gary Chapman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/gary-chapman/) > [“Psychologist William James said that possibly the deepest human need is the need to feel appreciated.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gary-chapman/psychologist-william-james-said-that-possibly-the-deepest-human-need/) [Gary Chapman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/gary-chapman/) > [I think that in today's world, by nature, we are all self-centered. And that often leads to selfishness.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gary-chapman/i-think-that-in-today-s-world-by-nature-we-are-all-self-centered-and/) [Gary Chapman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/gary-chapman/) > [Sometimes when the spouse is really the culprit, it is hard to admit what you consider your little failures, but if you are going…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gary-chapman/sometimes-when-the-spouse-is-really-the-culprit-it-is-hard-to-admit/) [Gary Chapman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/gary-chapman/) > [“There is a third truth, which only the mature lover will be able to hear. My spouse’s criticisms about my behavior provide me with…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gary-chapman/there-is-a-third-truth-which-only-the-mature-lover-will-be-able-to/) [Gary Chapman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/gary-chapman/) > [ The getting out part \[of advise\] may well be true. Because if you have tried the tender love thing... typically the abuser is not… ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gary-chapman/the-getting-out-part-of-advise-may-well-be-true-because-if-you-have/) [Gary Chapman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/gary-chapman/) > [ I wrote this book \[ Desperate Marriages\] because of my own marriage. My wife and I struggled greatly in the early years of marriage.… ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gary-chapman/i-wrote-this-book-desperate-marriages-because-of-my-own-marriage-my/) [Gary Chapman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/gary-chapman/) > [As a senior in high school, I had a strong sense that God wanted me in some kind of ministry.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gary-chapman/as-a-senior-in-high-school-i-had-a-strong-sense-that-god-wanted-me-in/) [Gary Chapman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/gary-chapman/) > [We all desperately need love. If a spouse in a difficult marriage will learn the love language of that spouse, and they will, with…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gary-chapman/we-all-desperately-need-love-if-a-spouse-in-a-difficult-marriage-will/) [Gary Chapman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/gary-chapman/) > [“If acts of service do not come naturally for you, it is still a love language worth acquiring. It is a way of expressing…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gary-chapman/if-acts-of-service-do-not-come-naturally-for-you-it-is-still-a-love/) [Gary Chapman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/gary-chapman/) [Explore all 254 Gary Chapman quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/gary-chapman/) ## More Advice quotes > [The sensible person is always serious about sensible advice.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mak-786/the-sensible-person-is-always-serious-about-sensible-advice/) [Mak\_786](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mak-786/) > [I ask for tips, for advice. What I have also learnt is that I need to do things that are good for me. In…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/matthijs-de-ligt/i-ask-for-tips-for-advice-what-i-have-also-learnt-is-that-i-need-to/) [Matthijs de Ligt](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/matthijs-de-ligt/) > [Don't get too attached to someone you know you can't be together with.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anurag-prakash-ray/don-t-get-too-attached-to-someone-you-know-you-can-t-be-together-with/) [Anurag Prakash Ray](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anurag-prakash-ray/) > [A low-minded person should not be given good advice.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/chanakya/a-low-minded-person-should-not-be-given-good-advice/) [Chanakya](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/chanakya/) > [The worst advice? 'Don't listen to the critics.' I think that you really ought to listen to the critics, because sometimes they're telling you…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/stephen-king/the-worst-advice-don-t-listen-to-the-critics-i-think-that-you-really/) [Stephen King](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/stephen-king/) > [When I was in my twenties and just so sexually prolific, the first time I went to Machu Picchu, this guy, a spiritual teacher,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/woody-harrelson/when-i-was-in-my-twenties-and-just-so-sexually-prolific-the-first/) [Woody Harrelson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/woody-harrelson/) > [The best way to succeed in this world is to act on the advice you give to others.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/napoleon-hill/the-best-way-to-succeed-in-this-world-is-to-act-on-the-advice-you/) [Napoleon Hill](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/napoleon-hill/) > [Time is priceless. You have it, but you don't own it. You spend it, but you can't keep it. And once it's gone, there's…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/time-is-priceless-you-have-it-but-you-don-t-own-it-you-spend-it-but/) [Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/) > [You don't need to take a persons advice to make him feel good, just ask him for it.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/laurence-j-peter/you-don-t-need-to-take-a-persons-advice-to-make-him-feel-good-just/) [Laurence J. Peter](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/laurence-j-peter/) > [Some of the things that we hold onto the most, are the things that we need to let go of.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ryaj-ablando-catayas/some-of-the-things-that-we-hold-onto-the-most-are-the-things-that-we/) [Ryaj Ablando Catayas](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ryaj-ablando-catayas/) > [“If your clothes are enough to drive would-be friends away, they're not the kind of friends you want." Typical mother advice. 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